stirrin shit

I don’t like TERFs. Like, even leaving aside the ideological issues I have (which are really big) they are generally nasty people. The best that can be said is that a TERF is a good person embroiled in a toxic culture. And their bad behavior only gets worse when the encounter anyone dysphoric, whether or not the dysphoric person identifies as trans.

To be real, I didn’t ship Julip because Jessidy, but then I saw Emily and now I want Emilip because gay Christians stirrin’ up shit in Annville sounds so much fun. Jessidy in the church drinking and sinning whilst Tulip teaches Emily the fine points of feminism, self defense, sexuality, and crop tops.

I mean, we already know Tulip doesn’t panic around kids. And just imagine Emily coming home from work and her homicidal girlfriend taught her three kids how to build a landmine.

“Honestly, Em, you shoulda bought ‘em that new iPad. We couldn’t just stare at each other all evening.”

IMMA LEARN YOU SOME FUDGE

HERES WHAT YA NEED:

  • 1 oz Pure Baking Chocolate. Don’t try it no matter how tempting it may be. It ain’t a fuckin’ hersey bar.
  • 2 cups of Sugar. Its fudge. It aint no fucking diet snack, we’re making something tasty. Makes the coco sweet
  • ½ cup Milk. Makes our chocolate milk chocolate, adds some shit to it
  • 1 stick of butter. A whole stick. 
  • ¾ tsp of pure vanilla extract. You can use imitation vanilla, just know I’m snubbing you ahead of time.
  • Glass pan, on the small side.
  • Medium sauce pan.
  • A good show about 30+ minutes (Or a playlist of shorter stuff)

Put yo fukin oven top to lower medium heat 

Butter the pan with the stick

Start putting shit in pan, recommended order: Coco, Butter (Cut it into about 8 pieces first), Sugar and Milk.

DO NOT ADD THE VANILLA

Start stirrin that shit

The sugar and most the chocolate will dissolve first, but keep going until the butter is done.

AAAALLLmost

BAM

Now kick the heat to medium high and bring it to a boil stirring occasionally

When It looks like this, add the Vanilla. Also take a moment to remind yourself you are a pleb if you use Imitation.

Give it a full minute, no touchies

There ya go

Turn off and remove the pan from the heat.

STIR

Stir until it cools enough to set on the surface of your desk

Commence Playlist/Show And stir the whole damn thing.

Image is kinda grainy, but you see how the fudge is giving way to the fudge poured on it? Tell tale sign to keep going.

After about 20-25ish minutes of stirring (Speed, sauce pan size, ect… they all effect this.) you can see how pouring fudge causes it to stack without the foundation giving way. YOu may get it wrong the first and second time, it usually more stirring than you think and you can’t really OVER stir. My advice is go another 5-7 minutes after you think you’re good.

Pour it in the pan, and shake it to level it.

Jam it in the fridge and give it a few hours, I think it’s 2-3, depending on the pan, but safe bet is to just sleep on it.

Thats der fudge, Enjoy it scrub.