Legendary professional wrestler Sting issued a statement this morning saying he is “deeply, deeply sorry” for arriving in World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) 13 years late for the WCW “invasion” angle.
“Traffic was terrible,” said the enigmatic star following his much-anticipated appearance at last night’s Survivor Series event.
“Better late than never, I guess. Sorry.”
Sting has attained almost mythical status for being one of the only top-tier professional wrestlers on Earth never to have performed in a WWE ring — for no other reason, it turns out, than his chronic tardiness.
Sting was disappointed when he arrived in St. Louis yesterday to discover that WCW colleagues including Hugh Morris, Lance Storm and Billy Kidman had long since given up their “Invasion” crusade, and that WCW had become little more than a fading memory in wrestling history.
“Dangit,” said Sting, “this is embarrassing.”
Sting explained that he had intended to join his WCW brethren when they “invaded” WWE in 2001, but he took a wrong turn south onto Route 41 out of Atlanta and ended up stranded in Orlando for a number of unpleasant years.
Y'all. Sting was so hot. I had such a crush on him.
I love how my dad used to take me to wrestling matches, like it would de-gay me and I’d grow up straight and butch. Yeah dad. Take me to watch big, sweaty men touch each other in their underwear. That’ll totally work.