When Negan first visits Alexandria he takes a liking in the heavily pregnant reader and shows a whole different side of him when its suddenly gets really tough for her…
The sun was shining brightly while you sat on the porch of your house while you sat in the rocking chair swinging slightly back and forth as you saw Rick coming towards you. ”Feeling better?”, he asked as he walked the stairs up. Your pregnancy had been everything else than easy. Shortly after you had noticed it, the problems had began and while you had thought that it would stop after the first months it got even worse. You could be glad that you were in Alexandria, had medicine and wouldnt have to fear that the baby would come while a hoard of walkers could show up around every corner. ”A bit. The fresh air is doing a good job”, you said smiling at him while he pulled some tablets out of his pockets. ”I was told to give them to you”, he said laying the tablets into your hands. You looked at Rick while he sat down next to you in another rocking chair. His face was pale, he looked like he hadnt slept in days and his eyes looked like he would begin to cry in every next second. It was just days ago you had seen your friends coming back, their faces completely distraught and filled with grief. Their eyes still red and swollen from crying. It still felt unreal that they were gone and you wished that they would come back, even if you knew they wouldn’t. You weren’t with them when this man, this monster, killed them. You were in Alexandria, keeping everything as good together as you could while Rick was gone. You had almost come with them, but Gregory opposed to let two pregnant women live at Hilltop and you knew that you would let Maggie go when he announced that to Rick. You had a break of your problems in that time and you would have never taken the place while seeing how bad she felt. But the hard pregnancy wasnt the only thing Maggie and you shared. The father of your child wouldnt ever get the chance to see his child grow up, just like Glenn. He had died shortly before you met Aaron who brought you to Alexandria and also shortly before you found out that you were pregnant. ”Wont be long until its coming, huh?”, Rick asked smiling slightly while nodding over to your belly. ”By what the Doctor at hilltop calculated the last time, it has to be about two weeks, maybe a bit less left”, you said smiling back. You looked back onto the street and saw how Rosita walked towards your house and looked up to Rick and you. “Rick? I’ll go with Spencer on a run. Just wanted you to know”, she said into your direction. “Alright”, responded Rick nodding before just minutes after Rosita had vanished you heard noises coming from the gates you couldnt match to Rosita and Spencer.
You walked behind Rick in the direction of the gates and could already see from afar that Spencer and Rosita werent alone and that the man behind the gates was no one else than the man your friends had told you of with shook in their voices Negan. He was standing there, with the baseball bat that had killed your friends over his shoulder while he talked to Spencer. “You’re too early”, said Rick while he walked closer towards Negan. “Missed you”, Negan said chuckling with a weird grin on his lips. You surveyed him while he talked to Rick. He was tall, his dark hair was gelled back, his lips that still formed that grin were surrounded with a salt and pepper beard and his eyes were gleaming. And this pair of eyes suddenly darted directly at you while their gleam increased. His glance stayed on you and caught your eyes and didnt let them go for moments until he looked grinning back to Rick. Your glance went behind him were you saw how Daryl stood within Negans army. He looked horrible, clothed in some kind of sack looking stuff and his face was swollen and covered with bruises. God what had they done with him?
You got ripped out of your thought by the squeaking of the gates and saw how Negan walked grinning inside. “Hold that”, muttered Negan grinning to Rick before walked towards you. “Holy crap Darling, you are really pregnant like holy shit…and by the way also fucking pretty”, he said smirking as he walked closer while his eyes didn’t leave yours letting a shiver run down your back. He looked on some exaggerated kind of way around as if he was searching for somebody before he looked back at you. “You know Sweetie, you really deserve fucking better. If I’d be your fucking man I wouldn’t leave your fucking side…especially not in your circumstances”, he said grinning at you. “He’s dead”, you hissed glaring at him. Negan formed an “Oh” with his lips which you werent really sure about if he was actually sorry or just being sarcastic. Seconds later he looked smirking at you, his tongue between his lips while he analyzed your face. “Would you-”, started Rick to say but was directly interrupted by Negan. “No Rick. Would you fucking shut up while I’m talking to this beautiful lady?”, Negan said chuckling at Rick while he pointed at you. You nodded to Rick, trying to show him that everything was alright, another dispute here was the last thing you needed and wanted. “So what’s your name, Darling”, he asked as he turned smirking back to you . “(Y/N)”, you said. “Thats some fucking beautiful name, Darling. In case you haven’t noticed, I’m Negan”, he said smirking while you just nodded trying to respond with an uninterested glance. “Sweetheart, Its a fucking shame that I gotta do some work here but I’d fucking love to spend some time with you when its done”, he said winking at you before he walked back to Rick who was still holding Negans bat in his hands. “Didn’t know you have such treasures here”, you heard him chuckling say as he bowed down to Rick. Negan winked one last time at you before he and his men began to make their way through Alexandria.
You walked sighing through the streets, not really knowing what to do while you saw how the Saviors got everything out of the houses that seemed somehow useful to them, before you saw Carl walk into the provisional Hospital and decided to follow him into it. But as you had already expected it, you and Carl werent alone for a long time. You jolted up as you saw two men walking into the room and walked straight towards the cupboards with the medicine and began pulling everything inside their bags they could grab. ”You need to leave something here”, growled Carl while one of the men turned chuckling around. ”We don’t need to leave anything here”, he said before he turned back around again and grabbed some more tablets. “Don’t you see that she’s pregnat? She needs the medicine”, said Carl his voice already trembling though anger. “Kid, do you think we care about that? ‘Cause surprise surprise, we don’t”, said the man chuckling darkly. “The deal was half of it, not all”, you said calmly but still tensed. The man turned around and looked chuckling at you. “The thing is, what you say doesn’t matter. Not at all”, he said grinning at you. You scoffed but before you could continue you saw how Carl raised his gun. “Deal is Deal”, growled Carl as the man turned around to him. “Come on Kid, put that gun down you won’t shoot anyway”, said the other man grinning. In the same moment Carl pointed at the ceiling and pulled the trigger producing a loud shot. “I’m serious”, Carl growled before he continued. “Now put them back”, Carl threatened while you saw two figures coming in through the door. Rick and Negan. Negans glance wandered from Carl to you and back before he turned around to him. “Wow, really Kid?”, Negan asked chuckling. “You should all go before you find out how dangerous we all are”, growled Carl, the gun still raised. “Well, pardon me, young man. Excuse the sit out of my goddamn french but did you just fucking threaten me?”, asked Negan pointing at Carl who growled in response. “I like you, so I don’t wanna go hard and prove a point here…again”, Negan continued while Carl finally lowered the gun. “So whats the fucking problem, that Carl over here wants to shoot my men”, asked Negan raising his eyebrows. “Your men want to take all the medicine and not the agreed half”, you said while Negan turned around to you by the sound of your voice. He smirked while looking into your eyes, but just seconds later his glance got more serious before he turned around to his men. “Alright…you leave the fucking medicine here”, he said shortly glancing at you and then back to his men. “Everyth-”, began the shorter one to reply but got interrupted by Negan. “Yeah fucking everything. But that doesnt change that this young man tried to cause some fucking trouble with one of my guns. So you know what I fucking guess Rick? I think you have way to many of my fucking guns”, he said looking over to Rick. While Negan began to talk to Rick you felt how an unbearable pain shot through your body and made your legs feel like they couldn’t hold your body anymore. You heard how you gasped asyou stumbled backwards, while your eyes fluttered through the pain that just wouldn’t stop shooting through every inch of your body. You felt how somebody grabbed you before you could stumble even more and how this person placed one hand on your back to stabilize you. As you slowly looked up from your belly you didn’t saw into Ricks or Carl’s eyes, it were Negans. “Holy crap Sweetheart are you alright?”, he asked looking at you while you tried to get your voice back. “It’s coming”, was the only thing you could get out of your mouth before the pain shot again through your body. Looking into his eyes you saw the shook in them, he swallowed hard and it seemed like he couldnt get a word out of his mouth. You had made this man speechless for a moment. You saw how he rallied himself , while you noticed that you had clawed your hands into the leather sleeves of his jacket. Hell, why now? Why? Now when this man was here. “Where’s your fucking doctor?”, Negan finally asked turning to Rick. “Your men shot her some time ago”, you muttered before Rick could say anything. Negan looked back at you while he breathed stressed out. “Anybody else who knows how to deliver a fucking baby?”, he asked and you could hear that he tried to be as calm as he could. You tired to get your pounding head to think about the people that could be in line for that. Rosita was in the woods with Spencer. She could be anywhere there. The only one that came into your mind was Eric. He had told you some time ago that he had assisted by one of the births while Pete had been the doctor here. And that was better than nothing “Maybe Eric, but I don’t know where he is”, you said while your voice trembled. “Okay Sweetheart, I’ll fucking stay here with you and we’re gonna bring this baby fucking healthy into the world, trust me”, he said still holding you tight before he ordered Rick to search for Eric. “You’re not staying alone here with her”, said Carl suddenly glaring at Negan. “Kid, do you really fucking think I’ll hurt her or what?”, Negan asked bewildered. Carl scoffed while his glance gored through Negan. “Alright, stay here or help your Dad search for that man, whatever”, Negan said before he looked back at you. “Its too early, its coming too early”, you muttered trembling while you still tried to realize what was happening right now. “Don’t worry Sweetheart. Its gonna be fucking alright”, Negan said stroking over your back. He was calm now, or at least were good at pretending to be and with that, he surprised you. Right now he wasnt that asshole, he was softer and more concerned than you ever thought this man could be. Your legs began to become weak again and it seemed like Negan noticed that. “I’ll get you to the cot”, you heard Negan mutter before he slowly lead you over to the cot. Your legs trembled as you propped yourself against it and suddenly felt something wet running down your legs. “Shit”, you muttered before you looked swallowing at Negan. “Something wrong, Darling?”, you heard Negan ask with a concerned undertone. “My water just broke”, you responded while you saw how Negan swallowed before he helped you get onto the cot You laid there whille the pain of your first contraction decreased as Negan looked at you. “Alright, we gotta get you out of those pants”, he said looking down on you before you slowly nodded. Negan began gently slipping off your pants but as he went for your panties you jolted up by his touch. “Theres no reason to be shy, Sweetheart. Trust me, Ive already seen lady parts and I won’t touch you anywhere you don’t fucking want to”, he said. ”Okay”, you responed quietly nodding. You looked over to Carl. You could see that he tried his hardest to not let it show through how difficult this situation was for him. You had been with them when Lori gave birth to Judith, had helped Maggie to get the baby out of Loris body and had seen how Carl had to see how his mother died. And you had heard how he finally shot her. If the situation right now sent you back to the moment his mom died through childbirth, then he would see the pictures before his eyes again also. “Carl, you don’t have to stay if-”, you said but before you could go on Carl interrupted you. “I’m staying”, he said determined while you heard Negan chuckle slightly. You looked back at him, he had sat down on a chair and now he took your hand into his. “What are you doing?”, you asked looking surprised at him. “You’re gonna need something to fucking squeeze, right?”, he asked grinning. That man that sat next to you, holding your hand had nothing in common with the man your friends had to met. With the man that had bashed your friends heads. And that confused you. You didnt know how to get those two versions of him together. How to see him anyways. You were about to ask him why he was staying but you felt how everything in your lower stomach contracted again and the pain rushed through your whole body. You began to tremble uncontrollably as your breath got faster and your heart pumped heavily against your chest while it felt like somebody was ripping your stomach. The pain brought tears into your eyes and let them fall down your cheeks while you tried to not let the pain drive you insane. You squeezed the living hell out of Negans hands while he stroke with his free hand over your lower arm, trying his best to help you through your pain. Suddenly the door hit open and you saw how Eric rushed in, while you felt how the contraction got less strong again but left your body trembling. “Rick told me-”, he said but suddenly stopped as he saw Negan sitting next to you while you saw how Negan began to grin. Eric swallowed but walked then over to you. “So you know how that whole fucking thing works?”, asked Negan looking at the swallowing Eric. “I’m no doctor, but I helped once…I’ll try my very best", he said to Negan before his glance wandered over to you. “Trust me”, Eric said while you responded with a nod because you couldn’t get a word out of your mouth. You tried to calm yourself a bit down as the pain left your body, but you knew that it would come back, and that it would come back even worse. You looked at your hand that was still grabbed tight around Negans and made his turn pale. You shocked loosend your grip as you saw how hard you had squeezed it. “No, no, its fucking okay, just keep doing it”, he said pulling your hand back into his after he had seen your glance. “Thanks”, you forced with the last energy out of your trembling lips while he began letting his thumb circle soothing over the back of your hand. “Any fucking time”, he said with a slight smile on his lips. You stayed like that for not long until the next contraction started that was even worse than the others before and it just kept going like that. Contraction. Break. Contraction. Break and it just went on and on, while the breaks became smaller and the contractions so worse that you had the feeling that it would break your body. You don’t know how long it went on like that but it felt like a eternity. “Alright, (Y/N) you have to press”, said Eric and seemed to sound as calm as he could. You followed his directions but it just felt like it helped nothing while the pain tortured you. You heard Negan saying words and even if your pounding head and the gaze the pain had laid over you didnt let you hear what he was saying, his voice somehow calmed you a bit down.
The pain of the contraction finally decreased slowly and left you completely done. Your ribcage went uncontrollably up and down and you felt as weak as never before. “I don’t know how long I can go on”, you stumbled, your voice trembling almost as much as your whole body while you looked over to Negan. “Alright, listen Sweetheart, you seem like a fucking brave and strong woman and I fucking bet you’ve went through a whole shitload of crap so you’ll fucking make it through this too”, Negan said calmly while he soothing squeezed your hand. You nodded slowing your breath down and laying back into the pillow. Suddenly Eric’s face went as white as a ghost. “Whats wrong?”, you heard Negan ask concerned. You looked to Eric and saw his hands and lower arms completely covered in blood while he stared swallowing over to Negan. ”I don’t think that much blood is normal”, it blustered out of his mouth while his eyes were widened. Your breath got heavier again, while your body began shaking harder. You didnt know what to do anymore. Your head was muddled trough all the pain and your body felt like it couldnt take much more burden. “What now?”, was the only thing you could get out of your mouth. “I…I make it somehow happen..we have to go through this, theres no other way I can think of”, said Eric exhausted but still determined. You saw yourself already dead, worse, your child dead and the thoughts of that made the panic increase and your eyes widened, while you began to quietly whimper. “Shh, you’re doing a fucking great job (Y/N). You’re gonna make it through this, alright? We’re gonna deliver your baby fucking healthy, I fucking promise”, Negan said before he brought your hand to his face and brushed his lips over its back while his thumb kept circling soothing over it. You tried to allow the feeling to calm you down, you didnt want the pain to take over your head even if it seemed often like it almost did. And after a few moment his actions actually calmed you a little bit down before the next time wanted to test you again. Eric did all he could. Carl glanced supporting at you even if you saw how hard it was for him. Negan kept sitting next to you, stood by your side the whole time, held your hand and somehow found the right words. And you, you were trying your best to stay determined and not let the horrible pain get you down that kept trying to conquer your head after it had overtaken your body. You don’t know how long it stayed like that. How long the pain washed over you like a wave that tried to drown you again and again. And even if it seemed almost impossible to you, Negan was definitely one of the reasons you could keep up.
You were almost completely down and out as you heard a scream and with that one moment you were complete awake again. As your view began to be clear again was the first thing you saw Negan, his face turned away from you but you could still recognize how amazed and speechless he looked into a specific direction. You followed his glance and saw how Eric walked towards you with a little body in his arms. The little body of your baby. As you felt how it was laid onto your chest, the feeling of pure happiness streamed through your whole body and seemed to wash all the pain out of it. The last hours suddenly didnt matter anymore for now, they were more than worth it. You looked at the little human that laid just covered by a small blanket in your arms while you felt how warm tears of happiness rolled down your cheeks. After some time your glance went up and you saw into the faces of Carl, Eric and also Negan whose glances were directed on you and your child. You smiled overjoyed and couldnt even stop doing so. You were exhausted but you didnt care about that for now, you were just happy that your child laid healthy in your arms after that torture of birth. You heard a knock on the door and just moments later a savior came in. “Boss, the night has already descended. We should maybe leave…”, said the man with a nervous undertone. “A third of you stay here with me over the night, the others leave. I don’t fucking care who… and now get the fuck out”, growled Negan before he looked back at you. You looked asking at him before walked a bit towards you. “Just wanna be on the fucking save side that you’re both doing well”, he said with a small smile on his lips. It was not alike the saucy grin he had on face when you were standing by the gates, no, this time and also the whole time he was standing by your side it was a honest friendly smile you would never have expected from him. You should hate him for what he had done and was still doing to your friends, but after these endless hours he had shown another side and you couldnt leave that side unnoticed. Negan sat down next to you on the cot looked from you to your child after he had softly brushed a strand of hair out of your face. “Thats some fucking miracle, huh?”, he said looking at the little bundle of joy in your arms. “Yeah, it is”, you muttered smiling while you the hand of your baby wrapped around your finger. “I’ll let you everything here you fucking need, you’re not gonna have to fucking worry about anything”, he muttered half in thoughts before he looked with a half smile up and you could see in his glance that he absolutely meant it.
That man who was a monster had also a humane side in him left you couldn’t deny and he didnt just proved it through the birth where he had stood by your side the whole time, he also stayed the whole night after it with you, making sure that you were alright. You got to see this side of him even more and more and somehow, you seemed to let this side of him grow.
So adding to that I’m going to add context with some whining. After getting my tax return I finally decided to use this gift card to Best Buy my mom got me for Christmas and pick up the new Intuos Pro since they’re $50 off right now. I figure spending $100 on a brand new tablet to replace my really old and scratched up Intuos 4 isn’t a bad deal at all. And now that I’ve gotten it, I feel like Wacom deliberately keeps making these new versions of the Intuos more and more rough specifically so the nibs wear out quicker and quicker. Long rambling ahead…
So this was like an idea which @mycapt-ohcapt was like no I am writing it and not her and she is like the best of the best ever! for helping me with this and to @theycallmebecca for the editing as my grammar is like shocking and horrible and she came in and was so quick love her to bits. It is funny as they both plus @littleplebe have been nagging me to do this and I was like oh hell no and now I have holy shit it is scary. This was an idea after seeing the Second Cbeebies episode Chris is killing me softly! hope you all enjoy
Pairing: Chris Evans Reader x her
Warnings: Fluff and feels
Summary: Chris arrives home to surprise his wife and son.
I got a notification today informing me that TES: Legends is now available on mobile devices. So far the app has run quite smoothly, and the interface seems pretty close to the PC version. The game board is a bit small to my liking - a couple of times I had some trouble picking the cards I wanted, especially when I had full hand (I imagine this could be nice on tablet or any other device with slightly bigger screen, though). Still, it works reasonably well and hopefully the mobile version will be tweaked further to make it more convenient to use. Definitely something for me to play during bus rides and such. :)
I’m just letting you all know that my shoulder has turned out to be a serious rotator cuff injury. My pain, and my ability to cope with it, got so bad that I had to stop using the computer for a few days.
I’ve healed a little since. I can use the keyboard again at least! I’m still struggling with the mouse, though - it took me too many spoons yesterday just to look up the links and crop the photos for the Dulcimer review. I could barely move my arm afterwards and it still isn’t moving well today.
(I wish I had a tablet on which I could do things, as I suspect that will be easier for me than the mouse, but I don’t.)
I am so grateful for your patience, especially as regards mentions not being responded to, waiting asks and the general quiet. Unfortunately, most of the asks in my inbox involve the hunting down of links, which is my hardest thing to manage right now. I hope by the end of the week I can get back to doing things again, even if very slowly. I hope, because I’m so tired of this!
Huge, huge thanks go to our fabulous, incomparable Mod CD who has formatted a heap of posts this last week, and is the sole reason this blog has been able to keep on running.
Oh oh hey Shibes! How about *squeal* with P5 protagonist and Ryuji?
A special gift for @tooticklishforyoo! HAPPY BIRTHDAYYYY LITTLE BRO!!! ^__^
Omg I’m so sorry it took such a long time, and also for whining earlier… Writer’s block had been – and still is - a pain, but I really wanted to have this finished as a (mediocre) gift for this important day. It’s not perfect, but I hope you’ll like it ❤❤❤! Hope you have an awesome day! Best wishes for you!!! *hugs really tight and smooches*
Note 1: there’s a lot more sounds than just squeals in there XD
Note 2: I still can’t write short fics jfc
Note 3: being on tablet, I can’t edit properly, put a read more thing or an illustration… those will be added when my internet comes back ^^;; (Edit: DONE!)
Words count: 2015
“Man, I’m beat…!”
around the school might have been a little
bit too much for a start. Especially so late in the evening. Ryuji was wheezing
and grunting, hands on his knees as he tried to catch his breath, but Akira
didn’t fare any better than his friend. Without the wall as support, he would
probably have ended up sprawled on the ground, stranded whale-like. Damn. He really wasn’t the sportive type.
“I thi… think we should… lower our
standards… next time…” the brunet panted, sweat trickling down his face. He
wiped his forehead and grimaced. Ugh… sticky. What he wouldn’t give for a
shower, right here and now.
“Oh c’mon!” Despite the fatigue,
Ryuji flashed him a bright smile. “We did it…! Ain’t that motivating?”
pondered on the thought. Yeah, in a way it might be, indeed. But try as he
might, he couldn’t see the experience as a positive one while his lungs and
muscles burned like hell itself. If anything, his first impression right now
would be more along the lines of: “I’m
never doing that again…”
I swear to god if Chris is just making me worry to make me
come downstairs, I will be so angry. I feel so nervous, god. I care so much for
a guy that I have known for a few months, the elevator pinged “come on” I said
to myself, I am just worried. I need to know he is ok, he was just fine like a
couple of hours ago. Pushing myself off of the side of the elevator as the
doors opened, stepping off the elevator, the hectic emergency room, what has
happened. I am so lost, if he has just come in he will be on my left, he has to
be down here. Rushing down the lobby, walking by various doctors and nurses.
Turning the corner, I froze seeing the very friends of Chris “we can’t have you
gentleman hanging around here” Lisa said to them, she would be the one to say
it because these guys don’t take lightly to a woman telling them, oh god. What
has happened to him, he must be in that room because they have gathered around
it. Slowly walking towards them, I felt all eyes on me. The very guy that was
checking me out earlier pointed not saying a word, I hope they do not speak to
me. I can tell with the look on their faces, they do not know who I am.
I shouldn’t really go in the room, it’s not even my
department I am supposed to be on. Moving my hand away from the door handle
slowly “we will let you know what happens” Lisa said while escorting them out,
oh god. They keep staring at me “Turner! With me now!” my manger scared the
life out of me, I jumped. She walked by me and entered the room “come with me”
well I don’t think she has realised I am supposed to be upstairs but oh well,
holding the door open as I walked into the room “Chris” my manager said, poking
my head forward and then seeing Chris on the bed, my face dropped “I am good, I
don’t need to be ….” He stopped his sentence seeing me, slowly walking in
“here” he finished off “you have hurt your head” my manager said, my eyes never
leaving Chris’ as I got closer to my manager “take your time” she spat, I am so
sad to see this “sorry” I said in a whisper “I need you to help me dress his
head, he’s had a fall while having a seizure. We are going to get him in for a
head scan” he’s had a seizure, I don’t know what to say “Turner, are you with
me?” I am with her, just in shock. Hearing the door open behind us, turning around
“we need you” the nurse pointed at my manager “get the things out” she walked
The door closed “what the hell happened?” I said as soon as
the door closed “a seizure? Oh my god, what the hell Chris?” he looked down at
his lap “I was drinking lean and I don’t remember what happened, a seizure they
say. I hit my head but I’m good” shaking my head at him “you had lean again
when I said that shit is bad for you? Why don’t you listen to me?” I am angry
at him “how could you!” I said little bit too loud “you have people that care
for you” does he not get this “my money, they care about my money, it’s fine. I
am here” shaking my head “I will tell her” the door opened “I guess you are
needed for another emergency Rylee” I knew this would have happened “oh ok, I
got you the things out” I am just so annoyed at him, and then he says that to
Luckily it has become so quiet so I can rest, they are
keeping Chris here for the night until a senior doctor can release him, and he
has hurt his head so they want to be careful. Letting out a sigh as I sat down,
I have not gone near that room of his, I am annoyed with him. I told him to not
drink that, it is bad for you. I am not going to entertain him now for a while,
thank god this staff room is empty, I think they have made Bailey stay upstairs.
Rubbing my face looking down at my lap “hello” a tap at the door, lifting my
head up “they wanted Chris Brown’ file” he waved the brown folder “oh yeah” I
said, getting up and walking over to the guy “thank you” I said taking the file
from him “no problem, least it’s quiet” he said “I know, thank you though” I
want him to leave now, I am about to be nosey as fuck with this.
Opening Chris’ file, I wonder what the hell they have in
here anyways, it is probably nothing and stupid incidents he has had. Looking
at his personal information and then turning the page, I don’t want to see
this. Oh here it is, look at that. Chris Brown fractured his knuckle, he
punched a wall “what” I said in a whisper, in what mind would you want to punch
a wall. Shaking my head in shock, his temper is awful. Frowning while reading
the rest of the notes but it is generally nothing, just that he needed to keep
his hand wrapped up “he is forever stupid” this record is kind of thick though.
Flicking to the back “mental health” I said in a whisper, taking in a sharp
breath “what” I am just in shock, Chris is bipolar since when was he this.
Skimming the text quickly, Bipolar, Insomnia disorder “god” I always wondered,
I always thought he is worse than a woman. His moods are awful but I get it, I
I don’t want to read the notes but I can’t help myself, I
should stop. Seeing the notes from his counsellor when he first went there, his
lack of sleep, violence which was bought on by drugs “I hate you!” slamming the
file shut, looking up guilty at Bailey “why?” I said in shock, did she catch me
“I was stuck with the boring people, on god I was so mad. But I told you, how
is he? I saw they bought him in, he was hard of breathing” I am still trying to
get over that Chris is bipolar and he never said this to me “he’s good,
something about a seizure” shrugging my shoulders “you about to be his naughty
nurse now huh, I know he wants you bad” Bailey winked, I smiled faintly “not
really, I think I need to go back upstairs anyways” let me get off this floor
and get away from Bailey.
Holding the file close to me, it’s like something I don’t
want people to read “you ok over there?” Lisa laughed watching me in a daze “uh
yeah I am good” she laughed a little “can you do me a favour, Chris needs his
tablets. Could you do it? I am sick of dealing with those boys, they are awful”
so that means I have to deal with that mess “sure” I guess I can speak to Chris
while I am at it, I am not even like upset that I saw it. I just feel a little
sad and I get it, his outbursts just confirm a lot of things “you seem a little
sad, everything ok?” Lisa asked “just tired, night shift takes it out on you” I
am showing emotion, let me stop.
I am still holding this file, I am not letting it go. Lisa
held the door open for me as I made my way into the room, the talking just
stopped abruptly. Such silence “wish I had this effect on these boys, call me
if you need anything” Lisa said, making my way around the gathering of boys.
Placing his tablets on the side table and turning around, I need to not be so
nervous but they are all looking. Walking closer to Chris “I need to speak to
you” I said in a whisper before turning back around, I am just going to be real
with him and let him know that I do know about it “y’all just give me space, I
am tired” he lied, he should have just said I wanted to speak to him “sure you
are nigga” one of them spoke up “just go, don’t be speaking shit to anyone”
“You look sexy in your uniform” shaking my head smiling,
holding his tablets in hand “you need to have these, you want me to get more
water” Chris shook his head “I got it” he reached over to get his bottle “good”
placing his tablets in his hand he held up to me “you mad with me?” grabbing
the file and sat down on the free seat next to his bed “would I be?” crossing
my right leg over my left “you seemed really upset with me earlier, I ain’t
ever seen you that emotional with me” fixing the file on my lap not saying a
word “I didn’t know that would have happened, I was good all day and you know
that Ry. I am sorry” looking up at him “I thought you was here to just annoy me
and this is what I get, I told you to not have that shit and look what you do.
It’s bad for you and especially for what you got” I said, I am just going to
His face softened, I can tell with the look on his face he
knows I know “why didn’t you tell me this?” he turned his head “why are you
snooping in my record? You don’t need to know that, nobody knows that. Just my
family, that is it” now he is annoyed “and me now, why didn’t you tell me this
Chris?” he shook his head half laughing “so I can scare you, I am sure you have
seen the shit I have done. Man, you think anybody would want a crazy nigga like
me? Come on Rylee, if I told you that I am bipolar, a crazy nigga that is on
meds. If I told you that from start you would care about me?” what is he even
ranting on about “I barely care for you being Chris Brown the singer, I barely
care the fact you are famous so what makes you think bipolar would scare me
away? Answer me that please, day in and day out we spoke and you didn’t mention
it, I would have ran away after knowing you have a whole ass baby! A two year
old, but no. I was there telling you what to do when your mom left you to be an
adult” he assumes shit all the time, he assumes the wrong shit to be honest.
He can’t answer me this, he cannot answer anything I have
said to him “I don’t understand why you care like that, who cares like you do.
It’s weird” so now I am weird “it’s not, you know when you talk to someone, you
text them all day you start to care. This is normal Chris” he is annoyed that I
know “you annoyed that I have seen this?” I questioned, he shrugged “what you
think? I didn’t want you to know” my eyes widened “that is not how
relationships work, if we was to have one. When you’re always going on a rant,
your outbursts. I was always so confused but I get it, this does not change you
as a person Chris. You’re still the same guy that I like” he looked over at me
slowly “like huh?” he is over it “maybe, don’t push it” I said, he cleared his
throat “you showed me a lot, I saw your sadness. I am sorry, to you I am sorry”
smiling lightly “it’s ok, just you have so much to look forward too. Don’t
drink that ever again, you have this medication too. You are so stupid” shaking
my head “I didn’t think this would have happened, trust me on this” he has so
much to live for.
I want to hide his file but I can’t, I don’t want Bailey seeing
it “are you going to look after me now?” side eyeing him “I have other people
to look after you know, you ain’t special” playing him off “that is a damn lie”
he spat “hmmm, where was you when this happened anyways” getting up from the
chair “studio, had some niggas there. I am just tired now” he mumbled, maybe
because he actually took his tablets and he is sleepy “go to sleep, you want
more pillows?” placing his file down “nah, just stay with me. I can see your
pretty face, I can wait to make you mine” he is in a good mood, standing at the
side of the bed “I will see how long I can until I get caught. Chris, if we was
to be together then you need to be truthful. Like now I know you’re bipolar
which does not bug me, trust me. I don’t care but I know you now” Chris nodded “I
understand, nobody knows besides my family and now you” Chris grabbed my arm
and dragged it closer to his face “why can’t you just hug me” I giggled “stop,
I swear if I get caught I will be fired” he is crazy.
Okay so, I might be late. But I still wanted to draw something for @deoxyrebornicleic birthday!
(it took me so fucking long because I had nothing else than my stupid mouse and MSPaint to draw ._.) (yea my tablet is broken again) (btw im sorry the quality of the pic is probably shit)
So… Happy Birthday Deo! I just want to let you know that you are an amazing artist and that I really like you.
I wish you to be happy and to keep doing all you do so well. You are an amazing person, and I havent been looking up to you only beacause of your incredible art and caraters idea, but also beacause you are the strongest person I’ve ever seen and that every time I learn that you’ve accomplished something, i’m so proud! We don’t know eachother but I can still feel like you’re a friend to me, and friend for us all in everykind of situation. Looking at your blog always bright up my day and you make me smile even when I actually wanted to cry. You inspired me so much in everything I do and I’ve got to say that you helped me a lot to feel more safe about myself. There is so much I want to say about how wonderful of an alien being you are but I just can’t find the words.
So just remember, you are strong, amazing, incredibly talented and probably the best friend anybody could wish to have.
could you do a "slytherin realizes they have a crush on someone of another house" post bc that would make me v happy. it can be with gifs or words or both i am not picky ♥♥♥♥
Gryffindor: *laughs loudly at their jokes* Oh my God… What are you doing it wasn’t even that funny. *laughs at another joke* Fuck what is happening to me. I certainly never laugh at jokes for someone else’s benefit. *continues laughing* Shit they’re not any funnier than they used to be, why does everything they say seem that much more funny? *Laughs again then stops abruptly* Oh no.
Hufflepuff: Why did I just help them with that? I didn’t even ask for anything in return… I mean, they’ve always been so nice to me, even before I helped them. Maybe it was part of their plan… *Looks at them* No… I think they’re just like that. Seems pretty stupid to be honest. Why be nice to someone who can’t benefit you? …Why did I just do it?? They’re just so cute I can’t help it. Wait. Fuck.
Ravenclaw: I honestly could not give less of a shit about amphibians… So why the hell did I just listen to them talk about them for an hour? And why did I feel like I was enjoying it? And why did I agree to go out to the lake tomorrow to look for some?? Maybe it’s just the way they talk about it. Their eyes light up and it’s kind of adorable. It’s like their excitement is contagious. I found myself wanting to remember whatever the hell they were saying, but why would I care about tadpoles? All I really care about is…. Oh.
I really do wish I had a tablet, because I’ve only got like regular pencils and trying to change pencil pressure and shit is annoying and I feel like that would be easier with a tablet where I can use like layers and opacity in photoshop or whatever. and I could just copy eyes and mirror them. I know that’s the easy way out but… I’m lazy. and it doesn’t help when I see a tutorial and someone’s drawing digitally of course and it looks so much easier to me because you can do it real sketchy and then just add more layers to refine it and I can’t really do that with pencil and paper. I mean I probably could but again, controlling my pencil is hard lol
I feel like I’m fucking myself over a bit too because I keep looking at these different tutorials and everyone has different ways of doing it and I’m like… which way should I do it. like obv I should ~choose my own path but like, who knows. I think I’m also going too fast and need to be more…. patient, both in drawing and also expecting myself to be good by now when it’s only been like a week. I just wanna be good so I can draw all this shit I wanna draw already
Gettin more into the ‘Pokemon GO’ vibe! I just wished we had more options to customize our trainers tho. Made this for my upcoming pokemon blog thegengarsquad, where I will post any pokemon related stuff and my Pokemon go experiences. It’s already up but still empty. Need to finish few stuff on the theme ;P
Will also offer any pokebreeding services for x/y. Yes, I still play it. Need to catch up with the others, and S/M is coming soon too. UGH IM SO BEHIND.
OY VEY! This took a long time. XD I started it at like 1 AM this
morning, stopped after a few hours, slept, woke up, kept working. I
recorded it for a speedpaint, and I had about three and a half hours of
footage. I did take a few breaks between recordings though, so I
probably spent more like four and a half hours in total working on this.
Anyway I don’t know if they still celebrate Christmas in Vegas in 2281,
or where they got that tree, or where Tess got that dress, but its
Christmas so let me have my fun. :B The Lucky 38 is going to look
FESTIVE as HECK.