still trying folks


gender validation? in MY environment? its more likely than i thought


Witchsona commission for birbycakes of her and her sister.

potion/starlight/cute witch & charms/moonlight/elegant witch.

“ I`m still one of those ´normal´ people...” - Ramblings about Annie Leonhardt

For a while after re-reading SNK vol 8 I wanted to do some sort of character analysis about Annie in a similar fashion what I wrote about Eren. I was fascinated by the fact that how like Eren, Annie too had blood on her hands, and deaths she had caused likely has some sort effect on her. What kept Eren from breaking under the pressure and shoulder the deaths in his shoulders, was his role of humanity`s savior. That`s what helped him keep going. How was Annie then able to keep going? What where her mechanism that abled her to survive under the guilt of killing? At one point I started to think about abandoning this idea, but today I came across an interesting passage from my exam book about Social Darwinism, that fired up my interest into this subject again. The line was this:

…war is not aberrant and may even be commended as a biological necessity. War is rationalized, and opposition to it is eroded by the spread of pessimistic and quietist sentiments. As Fredrick Wertham has argued, if violence “ is all in human nature, and if we are all guilty, then nobody is guilty. And if we are all responsible, no man is responsible…”

I think this fits with Annie`s thinking (maybe not 100% but I think it´s close), and maybe this is her way to keep herself together under the pressure of war and brutality. Annie demonstrates this sort of mentality in the beginning of vol 8. Marlo starts to talk about how he wants to fix the rotten system of the military police from the inside. He views these self-centered people as scum. Annie then makes lengthy comments:

What is important in this first bit of exchange is that Annie establishes a few things. First, that she believes that Marlo is a righteous person and that people like him do exist, but there are very few of them. They are so uncommon that they are not what one would call “normal”. What Annie is basically saying is that people like Marlo are statistically speaking odd folks, since only a fraction of the mass of people are like him.

In the second exchange with Marlo Annie establishes these following points: evil people like her who put their own personal gain over others, are the majority. They can be called scum, evil, and they are not righteous by any means, but they form the majority of the human population. So statically speaking, they are “normal”. Who do not fit into this mass are the righteous, a statistical oddity. 

The major of humanity is so horrible that this is reflected even in the organizations. If the scum build an organization, it corruptness reflects the evil human nature.

I think this exchange is an interesting insight Annie`s mind, and I hope now you see why I think that quote from my exam book fits with Annie thinking. Annie sees that the majority of humanity is horrible, evil scum. This part of the population is so big that it can be considered the statistical normality. People who deviate from this “normal mass” are abnormal. This corruptness of human nature is even reflected in the organization they create, where the Military Police is a good example:

I think that this view about humanity is Annie´s mechanism/way of coping with the blood and deaths on her shoulders. She sees herself as a horrible person and has showcased that she feel quilt about the things she has done, but maybe she think that in the end of the day, she is just part of the majority of humanity. If everybody is evil and selfish, then she too is just part of that majority. “I`m still one of those “normal” people you are talking about”.      

There are still a few moments when this mechanism seems to fail, and times when Annie seems to do some rather brutal actions. This cope mechanism breaks when after the mission where Eren blocks the wall with a boulder the squads are cleaning up the streets, and Annie is seen saying how sorry she is. I think maybe the reason why she breaks there is that these were people that she at least is partially familiar with. They were part of the 104, the same group where Annie was. I think this sort of thing happens again with Armin. Annie does not kill Armin because she is at least somewhat familiar with him, and it is Armin`s scream how she killed her comrades makes Annie stop. Armin used Annie`s feeling of guilt to his advantage, and that this comment came from someone she is familiar with, probably made the effect of it even bigger.

Armin then uses this similar tactic again when he beings all of that “you would be a bad person” talk in vol 8. Of course it`s possible that I am reading this scene all wrong, and the reason why Annie stopped moving was because she spotted Reiner.

After this comes and interesting moment. If my idea here is correct Annie stopped because of quilt, and the actions she does next are pretty much the opposite. She crusher her opponents with ease and actually even play with one of them, instead of giving a quick death. It looks like she is playing with a toy here: 

I wonder if the reason for this is that Annie was not familiar with them. In war and in military one of the things they do is that they de-humanize you`r opponent. If the enemy is seen as the same level of an object, then he/she is easier to kill. If the enemy is seen as an human, with a personality and etc.. it will effect you´r psyche and possibly the killing will make you break. Maybe Annie saw these unfamiliar Scout Legion members nothing more than objects here? And she views herself evil like the majority of humanity, so maybe it made it easier to commit these actions. 

Of course it´s also posslbe that this links to her martial art  and hand to hand combat skills. Eren says how Annie seemed to be happy only when she showcased her abilities, so maybe she is doing just that here.  


This might seem to sprout into different sections, so I would like represent again in this conclusion the point I was trying to make:

I think Annie views herself as possible bad person, or at least not a righteous one. She has potentially killed lots of people, and the amounts of death would effect any person. However, because Annie sees the vast majority of humanity as evil and scum, this potentially gives her an mechanism that enables her to survive under pressure. By being evil, by having blood on her hands, she is just part of the vast majority of humans. Statically speaking you could say that she is “normal”. Humans are so corrupted that this corrupt nature is reflected on the rotten to the core organization that exists inside the walls. This, and the possible factor of people being unknown to her, makes her able to commit horrible things. Sometimes this mechanism breaks thou, for example when Annie is faced with people she is familiar with.    

The memory of her father, how he will be on her side eve if the world turns against her very well could also be a big factor.

Since I am only at vol 16 at work with limited information, I do not know if this aspect will become important later on. It might be and possible what I have rambled about here is all wrong.

nitrogennightmare  asked:

Hello Mod! I have Volume I of TPoH and I love it soso much. I would love to throw money at you for a second volume. Is that something that will ever happen? I know you're busy doing art! But I thought it couldn't hurt to ask. Have a great day!

I really hope so, but I am still trying to find someone who can distribute the books! the manual effort of parcelling and carrying them to the post office is getting too much for my hands to cope with and a second volume would make a huge surge in work on that end- if all else fails I’ll self publish again like with Volume 1 but I am really hoping to find some pro help for the task

As soon as life returns to normal, so will you. Back from the dead.
Not without you.



when your smoke BF comes to you for comfort because he did really good and still lost but you decide to rub it in his face that his best still got beat by a Soldier who wouldn’t stop unloading whole clips into Mei walls.

(jk he still got hugs after jack was done teasing)

hey folks i’m back and feeling much better!! sorry it’s been a while, my dad came to visit and i was busy being Mother Hen’dTM by him and also the whole of my family

but!! i’m so glad to be back here on this site to tell y’all how i told one of my nurses in the ER that she was very very pretty as soon as they wheeled me in and i am Haunted by what a sapphic disaster i am!!!

Tbh I don’t understand why cishet aces are STILL trying to get LGBT folk to accept them as part of the community. Like, no offense, but what do they think being officially labeled as LGBT is going to do?

In the end of the day discoursers on my side are arguing because we feel like our safe spaces are being invaded by our oppressors, and from what I can understand the other side is arguing because they want/feel like they need safe spaces (pls feel free to correct me on this).

So why not just create their own community? It’s a compromise that allows those on my side of the discourse to feel safe in the spaces we had already established, and it gives those on the other side of the discourse the freedom to create safe spaces that fit their needs.

Pls feel free to add your thoughts! I’d like to hear other ppl’s opinion on this.

Give Me A Try [2/?]

[Symmetra kisses Junkrat.  Chaos ensues.  Unconventional slow burn with a developing relationship.]

It was clear that her experiment hadn’t worked.  If anything, it had made it worse.

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not only did my panel not get selected for 221b con, i also never got any notice at all that they received my email about it. so. um. yeah. 

i’m gonna stage an impromptu/renegade discussion group about what responsibility fic authors have when they use BDSM in fan fiction, especially as it relates to consent and realism. folks who write BDSM fics and want to be in on this, please message me. i’d love to have other folks who ID as kinky and have experience in kink communities as well as folks who do (and do not) ID as kinky who don’t have any kink community or IRL play experience. 

(and this informal discussion would have to be for folks 18+ because Georgia is definitely one of those states where i feel like maybe we could get arrested for talking about kinky shit in front of minors. right? eep.)


I see folks out here slandering short men.

Originally posted by z-fighter7

Coming from a guy that’s 5'4. (Below average height of males in america)

All my life I’ve dealt with the short slander. Even as a grown 23 year old, folks still try me from time to time. Men and women. It’s gotten to a point though for me that it’s so played out and tired that i literally just respond with “Are you done? I’m ok with being short, you should be too.” then they get quiet. OR if i pick out something about their body that i know for sure they are self conscious/insecure about and make fun of them for it they want to get butt hurt over it or get physical lol fuckin lames. People hate when you give them a taste of their own medicine.

But it does take a toll on your mental health. Especially during your teenage years. Your self-esteem and confidence is minimized. Then it trickles into adulthood. Makes you feel you aren’t good enough. Like you are sub-par or like you always have something to prove to over compensate for being short even though there is nothing wrong with being short in the first place.

You second guess yourself before you are about to approach a girl.

You feel like you have to mention “Oh yea just so you know I’m (whatever height under 5'10).” in the beginning stages if you all haven’t met in person.

If a mutual is putting you on with someone they know, you ask “Do they know i’m short?” Just so there aren’t any surprises when they meet you and you don’t get embarrassed.

You hear shit like “You look tall today? *proceeds to look at your foot wear* oh no wonder you look tall today. Ha ha ha.”

Originally posted by controversialdb

“Are you ever going to grow?”

Sidenote: Do you know what it’s like for a girl to say to you “You’re such a great guy, if only you were taller i would date you. : ) ” 

Originally posted by wifflegif

😂 like huh?🤔 do you know how rude that is?

Me being short doesn’t really bother me much anymore. When it did bother me it was because others made me feel it was a bad thing. When people try and come at me for it, it does bring me back to my teenage years when people would clown me for being short. It is what it is.

I digress, people need to chill with the short slander. If short dudes ain’t your preference then move along. No need to disrespect. Need to chill with slandering people for the bodies they live in period. The shit ain’t cool.

Originally posted by born-hip-hoper

Nope, sorry. If you wanted me to ignore you, you probably shouldn’t have publicly commented on my post. This is not the only comment like this. You are one of many people to try to find a way around what was said/meant/implied, whatever. Because there MUST be some other meaning.

First of all, the person quoted was not the only person to make such comments and they ALL mean the same thing. “I can overlook that she’s black because the costumes are well made.” There is nothing positive about that statement. Period. Just stop trying to pretend that there is. It implies that if your costume isn’t good enough, people won’t overlook the fact that you aren’t white. As if being black is some negative factor that should be counted against you. 

Second, you are also wrong about “literally almost all of the cosplays you did were of characters who are actually white”. No. No. No. I am going to assume you do not read comic books and correct your ignorance here. Out of the 10 characters I am cosplaying in that set, guess how many have black versions in the comics. Actually no, we’re going to say out of 8 because 2 are aliens. Martian Manhunter is NOT WHITE. He’s an alien who happens to shape shift into a black man for his secret identity sometimes. Dejah Thoris is also NOT WHITE. She is also from Mars but not the same comics as Martian Manhunter. White is not the default race of the whole galaxy, people.

 So that’s 8 characters left in the set and guess who are the ONLY ones out of 8 who DON’T have a black version in the continuity that I based my costumes on?? She Hulk and Colossus. Yep, the ones with full body paint. 2 out of 8. That’s it. That’s all. Everyone else is either black all the time, or black in the continuity that I based my costume on. 

This once again proves my point, that this type of discrimination is not based on ‘accuracy’ or anything else. White supremacy allows people to make the assumption that everything SHOULD be white, and that deviations from this norm must be noted, detracted OR if you’re so 'lucky’, can be 'overlooked’ if you’re 'good enough’.

I want to thank every person on this post who complimented me on my work, or expressed joy at seeing their favorite character represented, and even the people who negatively criticized my costume work based on my sewing skills not impressing them enough. Because they saw me as a whole person and not just my race being something they had to overlook.