still sometimes those things have some great inspirational sayings or ideas in them

Haven Craft’s Tips for Beginner Witches, Part One

Tips for Beginner Witches

Let’s start with this – I am not the witch Pope. I cannot speak for the witchcraft community as a whole; only for my own tradition.

5 Things I Believe Beginner Witches Should Ask Themselves

Note that the answers to these things will change, but that a firm grasp of the answers at any point in your practice may be helpful to you. I recommend actually writing your answers down, and every now and again check back and see if your stance has shifted.

1. Is magick real?

If yes, then what do you mean when you say, “Magick is real”. (Do you mean that you can effect reality with your will, intent, and energy? Do you mean like, Harry Potter real? What will disappoint you to realize might not be probable? What will inspire you to realize you can accomplish?)

2. Where are your lines? (What do you firmly believe is true/false, right/wrong? Violence, doing harm, controlling others, etc. Would you punch someone if they threatened a friend? Would you curse someone if they threatened a friend? What would you do, if your coven head told you it was right but you felt it was wrong?)

3. What are you looking for in a magickal path? (Pro Tip – no one has all the answers and there is no one right way.)

4. What are you prepared to do in order to accomplish your goals? (How many spoons do you have to give this practice? Can you devote one night a week, are you going to randomly pick stuff up on Tumblr, are you going to leave society to pursue your studies under a waterfall, etc.)


I recommend that no one make any oaths or vows in their first year of practice. Get to know yourself, how you feel about magick, and what you actually want to do before you do any big commitments. (Historic anecdote – this is what the original year and a day was for.) More strident, but still personal, recommendation: if someone tries to get you to oath to them within your first week of being a witch, run.


Things People Should Tell Beginner Witches, But Often Don’t

1. Don’t be afraid to change your mind.

2. Don’t throw good energy after bad by continuing to do something that isn’t right for you.

3. Don’t be afraid to continue your education, even if that means learning something that was right for you before is no longer right for you.

4. There is no one right way to do this. There is no Witch Pope - there is no dogmatic enforcement of the path to being a witch.

5. There are absolutely as many assholes in Paganism and witchcraft as there are anywhere else. Don’t think that these people are all spiritually enlightened beings who mean you well and who will give good advice.

6. Yahoo Answers is not your friend. You have the internet – which has access to both all of human information and all of human misinformation. Look for credible sources. Anything that seems too easy or too good to be true probably is. Work on critical thinking.

7. Try Scholar.Google.Com over “this article says so on Patheos.com.” Seriously, recently an article on there claimed Friday the 13th was a sacred holiday in goddess centered pre-Christian Paganism before the patriarchy ruined it. There is no historical validation for that, but a bunch of witches reblogged it. (Things you learn from scholarly sources rather than the latest poorly edited Llewellyn mess: the Burning Times didn’t happen, different kinds of Pagans warred amongst themselves long before Christianity came onto the scene, there was no great unified Pagan religion before Christianity, and Gerald Gardner was probably lying about almost everything he said.)


You Should Probably Learn the Difference Between Paganism, Wicca, and Witchcraft

What is Paganism?

Pagan is an umbrella term for a member of a religious, spiritual, or cultural community, other than those of the main world religions, so:

Non-Abrahamic – it is not Christian, Catholic, Jewish, Muslim, or Mormon

Non-Eastern – it is not Buddhism, Hinduism, Taoism, Sufism, or Sikhism

Theistic – The belief in some kind of divine power, which is sometimes polytheistic (a belief in more than one god), but not always

Some Pagans practice witchcraft – others do not.

This definition isn’t quite right, though it’s in hugely common usage, because there are Abrahamic and Eastern persons who consider themselves Pagan. Keep in mind that there will be exceptions to this definition and that those exceptions are valid.

There are also secular Pagans, so it isn’t even always Theistic. I know – it’s complicated. Though this is the largely accepted Academic definition, it doesn’t really work when applied to the real world, if you’re considering someone saying, “I’m Pagan” as a self-identifying definition, which I do. 

Wicca

Wicca is a religion. Most people consider Wicca as falling under the Paganism umbrella, although not all Pagans are Wiccan. Not all Wiccans are witches, and not all witches are Wiccan.

Wiccan is generally defined as:

Dualistic – There is a God and a Goddess

Pacifistic – Wicca has a rede that requires Wiccan do no harm to themselves or others, though not all Wiccans (such as those who follow Doreen Valiente’s suggested guidelines) are Pacifistic, so there are definitely exceptions to this

Earth-based – Having a respect for and acknowledgment of the powers of the Earth

Witchcraft

The spiritual or secular art, craft, and/or practice of the witch, defined many ways by many different people.

A witch is a witch who says they are one.

Again, there is no witch Pope and no witchy excommunication because you define yourself as a witch differently than someone else does.

Yes, male identifying and/or presenting persons can be witches.


Pagan and Witch Fallacies

There are certain ideas that most beginners in the witchcraft community will encounter over and over again. I’m going to run down some things – with the reminder, again, that I can only speak for my personal tradition.

1. “You should remove all negative influences from your life! You should purge all negative feelings! Be positive all the time!” Not everything that is negative is bad. Not everything negative can be avoided – we can’t all just quit our jobs and live in a witch shack in the mountains. We have to endure negative things, both because it is healthier to experience the full range of human emotion rather than to ignore a large chunk of it, and because it isn’t possible. What we should do is stop victim blaming witches who are going through hard times and stop telling witches they can’t be angry when they encounter something that should be angering.

2. “But, tradition!” Just because an affluent white guy in the 1400-1600s said something, doesn’t mean you should do it. We don’t follow their medicinal advice anymore; we don’t have to follow their magickal advice either. Seriously, I don’t care if tradition says a trans woman shouldn’t be in a sky clad ritual – that’s bullshit. We don’t put leeches on our bodies anymore – let’s leave the past nonsense where it belongs.

3. “We have to make sure everyone feels included and welcome!” Not if they abuse the welcome of others, we do not. The problem with making some people feel included and welcome is that you make their victims feel excluded and unwelcome because you’ve made them unsafe.

4. “We have to support each other and love each other and be a positive force in people’s lives.” Okay, yes, in small doses, this is a great aim. It doesn’t work for everyone (some witches are spite and malice fueled and they are still witches), but okay, it’s a nice idea. Until it becomes ableist or demands free emotional labor from people, which it often does.

5. “We have to educate them!” Okay, it’s great that there is this effort in the community to educate others. But if you don’t have the spoons or if it seems like they’re using the demand for their own education as a way to still have access to a community they are abusing, then no, you have no obligation to put their education over your well being. None. They have access to Google (even if they have to go to a library to use it.)

6. “You have to earn your right to be a witch.” No, no you don’t. Seriously, though, from whom? Dusty white men in graves? A Llewellyn author who couldn’t fact check themselves out of a paper bag? Again – no witch Pope. I’m just gonna keep pointing out the lack of a witch Pope until people get it.

7. “You have to be ________ rank, degree, etc. to have an opinion on this topic.” Yeah, okay, I’ll be sure to wave my certificate in your face before having an opinion on my own tradition. No. Your opinion may be an uneducated one and you may be corrected for it, but that doesn’t mean that you didn’t have the right to it before you completed your O levels at Hogwarts.

8. As a corollary to above, “This is just my opinion and you can’t be mad at me for it!” People absolutely have a right to their opinions. And everyone else the right to decide those opinions make them an asshole.

9. “I’m super special and powerful because xyz, which means I get to tell you what to do.” People only get to tell you what to do if you let them. Sometimes, that’s an exchange we willingly make, but other times, people will feel they have the right to tell you what to do because they are a hereditary witch or because they’ve been practicing longer. Just remember – their position doesn’t trump your humanity and you don’t have to kiss the feet of someone who kicks you.

10. “The person really wants _____ from you, and you should help them on their path. Helping them on their path helps you on yours!” Just because someone wants something from you, doesn’t mean they get it. Being a witch doesn’t take away your right to say no.  


Please remember that you don’t have to earn your right to be here. This one is tricky on some level – to be the respected person in your community, you need to put in your time. However, in order to be part of a group you don’t need to give the High Priest a blow job (seriously, run).

You don’t have to earn admission to witchcraft, but you do have to earn specific positions and other people’s trust. If you teach people not to trust you through your actions, they won’t trust you.

Learning Graphic Design On Your Own

A Quick Note…

Everyone learns differently. Some people like to ask questions in class, others like to watch videos that they can pause and replay, and even more people could prefer to just tinker and see what happens (I’m personally a tinkerer). The first thing you should do when learning on your own (so probably online or through books) is to do some research and know how you like to learn.

So, let’s start with… what even is “Graphic Design”?

Let’s get this straight… graphic designers aren’t fine artists. They are problem solvers, visual communicators, and sometimes curators of information in an aesthetically pleasing way. We organize information and try to make the world an easier-to-understand and more beautiful place. Of course, there are other fields like advertising where we communicate to customers why they should buy certain products. Or there are User Interface/Experience designers that will develop websites and video game interfaces and design how you interact with it. Look into graphic design and see what field you want to be in. What do you want to do with graphic design?

Fun fact, the google definition says: “the art or skill of combining text and pictures in advertisements, magazines, or books.” and to that, I’d like to say we do SO MUCH MORE.

Now that you know what you’re doing…Here’s the VERY BRIEF process!
(I may make individual posts for each step later on)

  1. Learn the basics
    1. Typography, how to use the basic principles of line, shape, color, and so on is usually for everyone no matter your field.
    2. Basics like composition are also very important. If you’re into editorial then typographic spreads will be more of your focus. If you’re in web design then seeing how websites are typically laid out will be a thing to look into. Basic typography, color theory, and principles still apply!
    3. Basics and principles are a google search (or a book) away! Everyone talks about these things ALL the time.
  2. Look up inspiration and develop an “eye” for design
    1. Follow design blogs! Follow other designers! On all of your social media! (There are so many Tumblr blogs and Instagram accounts solely dedicated to graphic design curation).
  3. Look into the big names of the industry
    1. Why were they remembered? Everyone else in the field probably remembers them for that, too.
    2. What was so great about them? Apply what you learn to your own work!
    3. If they’re well known, they probably have at least decent work to get inspired from!
  4. Research is done… time to do some work!
    1. If you’re just starting out, there are some things you’re probably not used to. Doing things by hand with sharpie markers on paper will definitely help train your eye and mind to think more about communication, not pretty things. 
    2. Abstract things down into simple shapes. Then try communicating that same object with fewer shapes. Maybe only lines? Geometric style? Play around with communication! This is key when you get into icons, logos, and other visuals that require a more minimal look. 
    3. Remember, you make information more easily accessible. The best logos are easy to remember because they are simple and effective. Your work may one day need that kind of punch!
  5. The jump from traditional to digital
    1. It’s time to learn about your program(s) of choice… my biggest piece of advice would be to just mess with it. Learning on your own by trying to make something is one of the best ways to train your mind and body on how to use the programs.
    2. Try every tool. Try making basic shapes. Then make basic objects with those shapes. Then try making a person or something more complicated. Try to test every tool to see what you’d use it for!
    3. Don’t know anything or how to do something? Google it! If you’re asking there’s probably 5+ different YouTube videos, 3+ articles, and 100+ tutorials on how to do it.
  6. Let’s work on projects!
    1. Now that you’re familiar with the history, principles, other designers, and the programs… just keep on making stuff!
    2. Making your own projects (make your own website, business cards, a flyer for a club, a T-Shirt, and so on…) is my biggest recommendation on how to learn graphic design. Actually applying everything you’ve learned will make you think in a problem-solving way! Also sharing things that you’ve made that actually matter is way more fun than sharing a fancy circle you made with no context. (You can say “look at this T-Shirt I made!” instead of “look at this weird circle I made!”)
  7. Get feedback from designers and non-designers
    1. Once you’ve made stuff… ask everyone! Non-designers will give you a client’s perspective of your work. A designer’s perspective will help you grow as a designer and they may see things that you and your average person wouldn’t have noticed. (you’re always free to ask me if you’d like!)
    2. Please remember to not take feedback personally (unless they’re being rude, then just ignore them). You’re learning and growing and there’s always room for improvement. A lot of feedback is not a bad thing!
  8. Stay determined!
    1. Being a designer isn’t easy. That T-Shirt you made that took you a couple days? Someone could say they don’t get it. Other designers could say there was a better way to execute your idea. Another person may even say it looks like something else!
    2. When you design you have to expect to make revisions, rethinking, and making more revisions until it’s at a good enough place to publish. But no matter what, you have to remember that it’s not about PERFECTION. It’s about getting it DONE and learning to grow. No one is perfect, and it’s mostly subjective, so just take the criticism you agree with and don’t apply what you disagree with. As a designer, you should know what’s right, wrong, or what you should consider bringing up to other designers.
    3. KEEP MAKING MORE STUFF! You can even remake older stuff as you go on! Just keep going!

That’s my super brief process!

Now honestly, I could’ve gotten down into the nitty gritty details of each step, but this is basically how I’d suggest going about it if you want to get a head start before getting into college, or you want to just learn on your own.

If you guys have any additional questions or want me to go more in-depth about anything, feel free to let me know! :)

Favorite Yu-gi-oh! Quotes (anime dub)

Grandpa: “You do know what a trap card is, don’t you?”
Joey: “yeah, uh…kinda…uh…I have no idea.”

Tea: I’ve given this friendship speech a thousand times already. Hasn’t it sunk in yet?

Joey: Now why does all these weird stuff always happen to us? (Yugi silent) You hava gotta to admit, it’s true.

Yugi: “Let’s just sit here, put our heads together and think.”
Tristan: “Just remember one of those heads is Joey’s so that’s like subtracting one mind.”
Joey: “Ha ha. Very funny Tristan.”

Tristan: “Don’t worry, we still have my Great Outdoor survival Guide!”
Joey: “G'head, Tristan, eat all the pages ya like.”

Mai: “I’m no cartoon expert, but exploding volcano biceps? That’s bad, right?”

Yugi: “Wow, there’s chips …”
Joey: “Dibs on the chips.”
Yugi: “Candy bars …”
Joey: “Dibs on the candy bars.”
Yugi: “Fruit …”
(silence)
Yugi: “Soda.”
Joey: “Dibs on the soda.”

Yugi: “Uhh … Joey … I don’t think you should be cooking the candy bars …”
Joey: “Back off! I know what I’m doing!”

Yami Bakura: “Present day humans are so fun to terrorize, don’t you think?”
Tristan: “No I don’t, but then again I am a present day human. What the heck are you?”

Yami Marik: “Let’s check the damage, and cause some more.”

Yami Marik: “I will not be destroyed!” (guess what happens 10 seconds later)

Joey: Whoever designed this game has a thing for walking into bright light. Tristan: Well you got to admit, it is quite dramatic.

Rex: “Does the grim reaper know you’ve raided his wardrobe?”

Rex: “Note to self, seatbelts were invented for a reason.”

Rex: That card is useless to you!(Joey reveals Hermos) (Shaken) That, on the other hand, might help you…

Weevil: “Name the last time one of my ideas didn’t work!”
Rex: “Every time! Just once I’d like to get my revenge without looking like a dork!”

Tristan: (about Duke’s driving) “Maybe we’re safer on foot.”
Joey: “Give me a piggyback, and you got a deal.”

Tristan: “Are you sure that’s Atlantis?”
Joey: “Hmm, big ancient city looking thing rising out of the ocean? Yeah, looks about right.”

Kaiba: “Don’t you have someone else to annoy?”
Joey: “No, not at the moment.”

Joey: “I’m sure there’s some other folk trying to take over the world back home!”
Tristan: “You know, the scary thing is he’s probably right.” 

Joey: Are we goin’ or what?
Kaiba: What do you think, genius?
Joey: I’m detectin’ some sarcasm, rich boy.
Kaiba: Really?

Joey: [panting while carrying Rex] Why…are we…carrying this guy…that we don’t even like…all over civilization?
Tristan: Because we’re the good guys.

Joey: So Yugi, about that Underdog card… you said it reminds you of someone…
Yami: [surprised] I did? Yes, well…Um, [to Yugi] a little help here? [winks and
switches with a blushing Yugi]
Yugi: Huh?…Oh, that’s real mature, Pharaoh! [Still blushing and Sees Joey] Er…
Joey: [Playfully locks Yugi’s head in his arms] So, Yuge, everyone else seems to think that Underdog card reminds you of me.
Yugi: Well, um, let me put this in the best way possible, [^^ and fingers ><] the card reminded me of you because when the odds are against you, you always pulls through.
Tristan: I can see it on your business cards right now, Joey Wheeler, Executive Underdog.
Joey: [angered] Hey!!

Kaiba: Any duelist late for registration will be disqualified. Mokuba, make sure
Wheeler’s late.
Joey: Hey! I know an insult when I hear one! Look at me when I’m yelling at ya’!
Tristan: Don’t worry about it, Joey! This tournament was just a cheap way for Kaiba to promote Kaibaland!
Mokuba: [raises his fist] You know I’m standin’ right here, right?!

Yugi: "Is that a Blue Eyes arena?”
Joey: “We’re not dealing with normal people here.”
Duke: “No, we’re not.”

Ziegfried:(summons 3 goddesses) “Now it’s one underdog against three divas.”
Joey: “You mean four divas.”

::Slifer the sky dragon emerges from the palace, following Pharaoh Atem and Bakura::
Bombasa: “And that is a big, red dragon!”
Joey: “This sort of thing used to surprise me, but now … not so much.”

Yugi: (running for his poor dear life)
Tristan and Joey: (in unison) “Yugi!?”
Yugi: (runs past them) “TALK LATER! RUN NOW!”
Joey: “What’s with him?” (He and Tristan turn around to see a gang of mummies running towards them)
Tristan and Joey: “ZOINKS!” (Both run away)

Pegasus: “What did I do to inspire such hatred?”
Kaiba: “It’s a long list, and I don’t have a lot of time.”

Pegasus: Anubis is gone. No one could return from a defeat so thoroughly devastating as that!! Well … no one but Kaiba that is … I’m sorry, did I say that out loud? 

Kaiba: When are you geeks gonna stop giving that lame friendship speech?
Tristan: I’d say… when you stop pretending everything’s a magic trick.

Tristan: (After the tomb collapsed) So this is the end? Feels weird.
Joey: Yeah.
Seto: What were you geeks expecting?
Joey: Fireworks, sappy music, something… At least make up one of your wrap-up speeches, Yug.
Yugi: Well, sometimes the end of one adventure is the beginning of another.
Joey: Ahh, much better.

Creators Misunderstanding Their Fan Base: Undertale

I love Undertale, so do many others. However, I love Undertale because of the fan base. I have met so many kind and determined individuals that I wouldn’t have met otherwise if not for Undertale. Many of these people are artists, and it’s nice to see the same characters drawn in so many different styles. Even better is when there is a story written about Undertale, a what if this happened instead of this? Great examples of this are Dreamtale, by @jokublog (currently not theirs more about that later), Glitchverse, by @camilaart, and Xtale/Underverse, by Jackei/@xtaleunderverse. There are many more alternate stories/universes I would love to share but I really want to focus on these two right now. As you may or may not know, both these creators make animations/comics based off their story lines, and they are incredible. The amount of effort that goes into each and every frame of animation is jaw dropping to say the least. The story is also pretty great compared to most, especially Glitchtale’s constant subversion of every expectation and Underverse’s imaginative plot and character portrayal are no small feat either. It’s immediately clear that a lot of effort goes into their work to make it as great as possible and create their animations fairly quickly. However, I’m not here to simply sing their praises because the title isn’t “Amazing Undertale Universes You Have To See To Believe” no, this is “Creators Misunderstanding Their Fan Base: Undertale” 

 Recently a story came out about Joku threatening to use her fan base against another person who was just giving feedback on a shirt that they made. This led to them deleting their blog and now it’s being held by a nice individual so that Joku can have the name back if she wants. Joku makes sure people know that she is getting lots of hate over this misbehavior of hers. She’s making it seem like her fan base is full of haters that demand comics every week and don’t care about the person behind the project at all. Her “fans” led her to deleting her blog that she had used for a while now, over one small incident. That’s. Not. True. Joku’s fans are passionate, without a doubt, but they have huge amounts of respect for the amount of work that goes into this complex narrative that Joku is almost always working on. Joku, you’re fans are there, making fan art, liking your posts, and sending positive words your way, but you don’t care about that, do you? You just want to show everyone that you can overcome the haters by yourself, but you can’t, nobody can on their own. You say you ignore the haters, but dealing with what I’ve heard people say about you in silence, isn’t a great idea. If you open up more to your audience, show your real fans that you still care about them, I have no doubt that there will be a shift in the types of people who view your content. I along with many others didn’t hate you for what you did, was it a bit uncalled for? Yea, a little bit, but that one incident with someone WHO’S ALREADY FORGIVEN AND APOLOGIZED FOR MAKING IT PUBLIC, shouldn’t have led to you deleting your blog. The blog is being held for you, your choices are to reset back to zero and build your blog all over again, or quit and leave everyone.

 Jackei, the creator of Xtale and Underverse, is passionate about her work. Her amazing narrative and intense animations make it a joy to experience through and through, but she has her flaws as well. One day you’ll get a hilarious shitpost from Jackei about how she got braces, the next a comic about how she is having to stand against her fans barrage of negativity. I’m saying it right now that there is a difference in HATING and CRITICIZING and it’s easy to tell which is which. Hate usually is opinionated, relying on the same feeling from others to help boost their opinion into more of a fact. Fans that criticize a work however often point out actual problems with the product they were presented with. Maybe the animation was a bit low quality in some places, or maybe the dialog didn’t add anything to the situation, but whatever it is its a real problem that they just shed light on for you. Those fans care, unlike the haters you insist are your fans. Many people really love your intense devotion to your work, making comics often along with incredible animations that have breathtaking moments a plenty, but it sucks when someone you hugely respect talks down to you. You make it clear that whenever you get hate you try to deal with it in silence, and for the most part if you are a strong enough person that works out really well for you. Not only does it improve your image as a creator but it makes fans think much much more of you as a person. However, you show us that side of you way too much, and its clear you want to be that person you portray yourself as. You’ve gotten much better about showing us that you can withstand the hate sent your way, and your shitposts/memes are always a joy to behold, but why not show off the better side of your fan base, the people who really care about you and your work. It’d make a difference in how you view your fans. Just remember Jackei, haters shout loud because they want others to hear them, but when a fan comments, they don’t even expect an answer from anyone.

 Camila is an incredible artist as well, creating a 20 minute animation in less than 4 months is unreal. On top of that the animations feature a standard of quality not usually seen in animations made in the same amount of time. However, Camila is known to harp on people for asking when the latest episode is going to come out. Her response is usually a meme or her telling them to chill and just wait. Camila has the opposite issue that Jackei does, she will show all the asks about when the episode is coming out, making it seem like that’s all her fan base cares about. That and her talking down to her fans often, sometimes calling them stupid for not understanding a small detail in the animation. She’s who Jackei strives to be, impervious to all hate sent her way. To be honest, it’s not the best way to act towards your fans, sometimes people honestly just want to know because they are hyped for the next episode. Especially with the amount of information Camila will spoil about the episode, when in reality it’s mostly misdirection to make hers fans come to one conclusion before the episode even starts, just so she can subvert everyone’s expectations in the end. It’s incredible how many times I knew what would happen just because I followed Camila’s tumblr, @camilaart. Camila, I desperately wanted to donate $50 to you on patreon after you lost part of your house because I desired to talk to the biggest inspiration in my life at the time. To be honest I still want to, but I’m only 15 and I have no income for which to donate to either of you, sorry /;-;/. Camila, your awe inspiring, I just wish you would act more mature and be more loyal to people. After what happened to Jackei you threw her under the bus, reblogging what she said just to garner it more exposure. It’s shocking how many people you turn on after someone comes out with something bad about that person, like Jackei and Ultima almighty. You’re getting much better though about pointing out positive things, like animators and artists who have almost no exposure on youtube, is pretty amazing. It’d be amazing though, if you could use the positives to detract haters instead of memes. You’re a role model for some people whether you want to believe it or not, and sometimes people take anything that role models say as undeniable fact. Your on the right path, please don’t reset again. 

(Everything I said are just my thoughts on these two amazing animators, I just really want to get these out their so that maybe they will both see this post and reflect on themselves as creators. I plan to do more of these but I don’t what topics/people to do yet. And guys, don’t hate these artists just for me pointing out a few things wrong with them, that’s the complete opposite of what I’m trying to say. If you don’t like them, then just ignore them, it’s as simple as that. Thanks for reading this, it truly means a lot to me.) 

((OMG!!! THANK YOU GUYS I MADE A HUGE MISTAKE. I INTENDED TO MAKE IT 3 SECTIONS AND ACCIDENTALLY MADE TWO THE FIRST TIME COMBINING JACKEI AND JOKU I AM SO SORRY!!! THANK YOU FOR POINTING THIS OUT TO ME!))

Amerindian signs

The Otter  January 20 - February 18

Originally posted by artyscorner

A little original, adventurous and unorthodox, the Otter is an animal difficult to identify. His methods are perceived as unconventional, and they are often not the first ones chosen by the rest of the community to carry out a task. This is a serious mistake on the part of the others - because even if they are sometimes strange, the ideas of the Otter are actually, in general, rather effective.

Yes, the Otter has an unusual way of seeing things, but it gives humans an extraordinary imagination and brilliant intelligence. Often very intuitive and capable of a great sense of perception, the Otter makes a very good companion, and can be very attentive and loving.
In a positive environment, with love and attention, the Otter is sensitive, sympathetic, courageous and honest. When left out, the Otter may be unscrupulous, rebellious and isolated.

The Wolf  February 19 - March 20

Originally posted by won-der-land89

Deeply emotional and passionate, the Wolf is the animal par excellence of love and passion, both in the physical and spiritual sense of the term. The Wolf knows that love is the greatest of natural forces, and he is entirely capable of supplying it with all his might.
If one considers his desire for freedom and ferocious independence, one realizes that the wolf is full of contradictions. He may be Solitary Wolf, or Mother Wolf, protective and filled with love. The Wolf needs his freedom, but he is also gentle and full of compassion.

In a positive environment, the wolf is intensely passionate, generous, deeply affectionate and gentle. When left out, the wolf may be recalcitrant, obsessed, vindictive and resentful.

The Falcon  March 21 - April 19 

Originally posted by sdzsafaripark

The Falcon is the animal of the born heads. It can always be consulted in order to have a clear and impartial judgment in delicate situations. The Falcon never loses time, knows how to strike / act at the right moment and beat the iron as long as it is warm. When something has to be accomplished, he knows how to realize it and act accordingly.

Very persistent, and endowed with a strong sense of initiative, the Falcon is a born leader and he wants to triumph. He is sometimes considered vain - but he is often right in his opinions, so this little touch of arrogance is understood and accepted by others.

In a positive environment, the Falcon can accomplish great things, and he knows how to feed passion and fire in relationships, while keeping some compassion. When left out, the Hawk may be vain, impolite, intolerant, impatient, and too sensitive.

The Beaver  April 20 - May 20

Originally posted by pakkastassu

Take charge, adapt, to overcome the obstacles … Here is the Castor’s motto. Very talented for trade-related things, the Beaver knows how to do the job with maximum efficiency and plenty of aplomb. Strategic and cunning, the Castor is a force that can be relied on for everything that is business, diplomatic and combat.
You have to think twice about whether you want to challenge the Beaver verbally and play the smartest with him - because his mind and mental acuity are sharp as razor blades. The Beaver seems to have everything for him, but his tendency to want to always do things the way he wants otherwise nothing can get him into trouble.

Yes, the Beaver is clever, but the bearers of this Totem may have to work their sense of tact. In a positive environment, Beaver can be compassionate, generous, helpful and loyal. When left behind, the Beaver may be nervous, cowardly, possessive, and somewhat arrogant.

The Stag/Deer  May 21 - June 20

Originally posted by kryzx

This Totem animal is in a way the muse of the Amerindian zodiac. The Stag inspires, it is filled with life and its spirit turns a hundred per hour. Featuring a “tailor-made” sense of humor, the Deer has a certain amount of talent to make almost anyone laugh. He can speak and speak verbally, and he loves conversations in general.
This, combined with his natural intelligence, makes the stag a guest of choice for parties and dinners, as it will always set the mood and entertain others. He is particularly aware of the things that surround him, and he is also very conscious of his own appearance … Some will say of him that he is a little self-centered. However, they will not blame him because he is very sympathetic and affable, which tilts the balance in his favor.

In a positive environment, the natural joy of life and the sparkling personality of the deer radiate even more around it. It emanates a force of inspiration for all positive and affectionate relationships. Left, the stag can be selfish, impatient, lazy and have mood swings.

The Woodpecker  June 21 - July 21

Originally posted by scientificphilosopher

The Woodpeckers are in principle the most attentive of all Totem animals. They are always listening, with a strong sense of empathy and understanding of others. It is a sign that one must seek when one needs comfort and help.
They make very good parents, friends and partners. They also tend to be naturally frugal, resourceful and organized.

In a positive environment, the Woodpeckers are devoted, loving and very romantic. When left behind, they can become possessive, edgy, jealous and embittered.

The Salmon  July 22 - August 21

Originally posted by wavegrower

Electrical but concentrated, intuitive and intensely creative, Salmon have fishing, to say the least! Their energy is palpable. Naturally motivating, their confidence and enthusiasm is very contagious for others.
Even when their ideas seem too far-fetched to function, they still manage to embark with others. Generous, intelligent and intuitive, it is no wonder that the Salmon have no difficulty in making friends!
This Totem also express a deep need to have a goal to achieve, a function, an objective. And when they embark on adventure, they know how to find volunteers to rally them to their cause!

In a positive environment, the Salmon is stable, calm, sensual and able to give a lot. When left behind, humans born under his sign can become selfish, vulgar and intolerant.

The Bear  August 22 - September 21

Originally posted by mizar113

Pragmatic and methodical, the Bear is the Totem to be called when an inflexible and upright hand is needed. Its practical, placid and weighted aspect makes it an excellent trading partner. It is often the voice of reason, in most scenarios, and it works well in duo with the Owl, which it complements and with which it restores balance. The Bear is also endowed with an enormous heart and unbounded generosity.
However, many do not even realize it because the Bear tends to be very modest, discreet and a little shy.

In a positive and loving environment, this Totem abounds with love and generosity in return. He also has a capacity for patience and a temperate character, which makes him an excellent teacher and mentor. Left behind, the Bear may be skeptical, slow, petty and reclusive.

The Raven  September 22 - October 22

Originally posted by nitratediva

Extremely enthusiastic, naturally enterprising, the raven is a sacred charmer! It seems natural to him. One recognizes in him his energy and his lightness, and one often asks his ideas or his opinions.
It is simply because the Raven is a great idealist, and he knows how to be diplomatic and ingenious and clever.

In a positive environment, the Raven is easy to live, friendly and open, it can be as romantic and sweet. It is endowed with a certain patience and a natural intuition. When left out, the Raven can be inconsistent, demanding, vindictive and corrosive.

The Snake  October 23 - November 22

Originally posted by fencehopping

Most Shamans were born under the sign of the Snake, and it is the fetish animal of those who are devoted to the world of spirits. Those who are guided by the Snake are naturally spiritual and connected to the other worlds. They are easily attracted to ethereal kingdoms, and make excellent spiritual guides. The Snake is also respected for its ability to heal and heal, and it excels in the medicinal and medical field.
The preoccupations of the serpent for the unseen and the untouchable often lead others to find them mysterious, cold and even frightening, for they seem detached from the real world. True, the snake can be secret and have a dark side - it is also extremely sensitive, devoted to others and thoughtful.

In a positive environment, the snake can be passionate, inspiring, humorous, helpful and vigilant. When left out, the Snake may become depressed, violent, and prompt to abnormal mood changes.

The Owl  November 23 - December 21

Originally posted by ofallingstar

Changing and light as the wind, the Owl is difficult to pin down. With a warm, natural, sociable temperament, the Owl seems to be the friend of the world. Those born under his omen are known to throw themselves headlong into life, a hundred miles an hour, and adore adventure.
This can turn against her, for the Owl can be thoughtless, negligent, dizzy or even unconscious. The people guided by her make excellent artists, professors and environmentalists. However, they are extremely adaptable and versatile, allowing them to focus on virtually any field they want.

In a positive environment, the Owl is sensitive, enthusiastic, and has a great ability to listen. The owl may be excessive, too indulgent, and inconsistent.

The Goose  December 22 - January 19

Originally posted by cmdrkitten

If you want something to be done, go to the Goose. Persevering, determined and ambitious, the goose sets goals to accomplish and knows how to achieve it. The Goose is determined to succeed in what it wants to achieve, no matter what the price is - not to have the approval of others, because they are fighting against themselves and their internal enemy.
People born under the auspices of the Goose are naturally inspired and seem driven by an invisible force that drives them to realize things.
When their character is tempered by the loving presence of their family and friends, they can excel with the support of others and achieve virtually everything they undertake.

In a positive environment, the Goose can be very passionate, funny, sociable and even sensual. However, when left out, the goose may fall into obsession or addiction, which can cause its loss.

HUMO: You’re a feminist, you have already said that several times. Many young women do not like being associated with feminism, because in their eyes it is a movement that forbids them to wear heels.

Evelyne Brochu: Feminists are the reason that I can vote, and my main concern is not whether I should wear heels or not, but that I might soon lose that acquired right as a woman. That Donald Trump is completely disturbed. The first thing he did as president, was to abolish subsidies for abortion clinics. And isn’t it scary what humiliating statements the most powerful man in the world can make about women? Everybody says: “They are just words.” But words set the motion more often than you think. A man thinks much faster now, “If the most powerful man can say that, it is okay if I say it too.” While women previously where not given the same room as men to be angry, or different, or crazy, a man is admired for those things, “Look how strong he is and what strong opinions he has.” A woman would be called hysterical.

Women are constantly belittled. We are told how we should behave if we want to be loved. That’s my biggest concern. I could care less about those heels.

This is a translation of Ebro’s interview with a Belgium magazine. For the full translated interview keep reading.

Keep reading

Animation Process Part 1: Thumbnailing, Keys, and Extremes

A week or so ago I finally finished this little dance animation that I’ve been chipping away at in my spare time! In the end it took me about 45 hours over the course of 8 months.

I documented each stage of the process in gifs and wanted to share in order to give anyone just starting out an insight into my workflow and how I break a complex motion into digestible, accomplish-able chunks so that I don’t get overwhelmed by the amount of work that’s ahead.

In this first part I’m going explain a little bit of my approach to thumbnailing. The great thing about this part of the hand drawn animation process is that I would approach it the same way in ANY piece of software. This stage is just about drawing and timing. Even the lowest tier programs can do that. It’s not until the cleanup stage that any of the bells and whistles matter.

The Research Stuff

Before starting any drawings I like to search around youtube for inspiration; especially if it’s an action I’m not entirely familiar with. I had just watched the webseries The Earliest Show in which Lauren Lapkus and Ben Schwartz do a lot of really great dancing, so I studied a couple of those frame by frame. I also looked at some swing dancing competition videos to get a feel for the basic steps.

https://youtu.be/plOMomN9F5g?t=25m25s

For stuff like dancing or even playing an instrument I’m not familiar with I like to sometimes look up a couple beginners’ tutorials just to get some ideas for how to approach the movement.

This isn’t days of research. It’s just half an hour to an hour to get a feel for what you want to accomplish. Anything more than that and it can easily turn into procrastination.

The Drawing Stuff

Once I’m satisfied with my research I begin the thumbnailing process. As you can see, my drawings at this point are only slightly more detailed than a stick figure. I’m not worried at all about mass, I’m just trying to nail down some simple, clear poses.

The Animation Stuff

In order to not be overwhelmed by everything I like to approach scenes in a very systematic way. I’d say 90% of the animation I do is Pose to Pose meaning that I break actions up into 4 different types of drawings

Keys: The main storytelling poses. If the story of the shot is “Man hears news and is disappointed” then you only have two keys to do - the man hearing the news, and the man being disappointed. I’m not thinking about how he’s going to get from pose to pose at this point, I’m just thinking “What’s the best drawing to show that this man is really disappointed”.

Extremes: These are all the poses that have to be there in order for the action to work. If someone is walking across the room it’s every drawing where their feet make contact with the ground. If someone’s jumping in the air it’s the anticipation down and the highest point of their arc. The way I think of them is that they’re the furthest up, down, left, and right the character is going to go as well as any drawing where they make contact.

Breakdowns: These are the poses that establish or reinforce the physics behind the motion. If an arm is swinging forward and the hand drags behind this is the drawing that shows that. When a character does a high kick and puts the entire weight of their body into it this is the drawing that shows the hips shoving forward as the foot just starts to lift from the ground.

Inbetweens: The drawings that smooth out and polish the movement. Here I’m focused solely on the spacing of the drawings. Is it slowing out or slowing in? How far do I want to favor one way or the other? What’s the shape of the path of action? Are the drawings following a nice arc?

This is one of many ways to categorize the drawings. I’ve seen a lot of people who combine extremes into their keys phase, and others who combine extremes into their breakdown phase, and others still who do breakdowns while they’re inbetweening. This is just what works for me.

(For a more thorough explanation of Keys, Extremes, Breakdowns, and Inbetweens see pages 64-68 of Richard Williams’ The Animator’s Survival Kit)

For the thumbnails I’m only focusing on the Keys and the Extremes.

First I do the keys which for the first dance involve these four drawings:

As you can see there’s no thought about the weight of the movement. That’s fine. I’m just establishing how he’s going to hit each accent.

From there we go to the Extremes

Here I start to add a little bit of weight to it. The main things the extremes (in green) are establishing is the foot pattern. How is he passing his weight from one leg to the other?

With the torso I wanted to loosen it up a little bit. If you look at the keys they all have a really similar line of action. I reversed the line of action for the extremes which adds more change of shape and helps it feel more lively - even at this early stage

The arms are just establishing the passing positions of the arm swing. They’re fairly straightforward.

If you notice, these extremes have a lot of qualities of breakdowns in them. If I had to label them more precisely I’d say that what I’m calling the extremes are the contact drawings of the legs combined with the passing positions (breakdowns) of the upper body. I call them extremes instead of breakdowns because the legs are the most important part of these drawings and I wouldn’t consider those legs broken down at all; they’re just contact drawings. These hybrid drawings are the reason that so many animators categorize drawings differently. At the end of the day it doesn’t matter what you call any of this stuff as long as it makes sense to you and the end result looks good.

The Technical Stuff

At this point the entire animation is just a rough drawing on one layer. I would do this exactly the same in Harmony, Flash, Photoshop, or TV Paint. As long as you have drawing tools and a timeline you can thumbnail out animation like this

Extra Pro tip: It’s really helpful at this stage to establish some kind of basic ground plane or perspective - even if it’s just a character dancing in a void. This really helped keep the 3 Dimensional space in mind while planning his footwork. It also reminded me to have the character lean a little forward and backward in Z space as he’s moving. It’s easy to forget that kind of stuff when a character’s facing camera. Without it the animation will always feel a little flat.

That’s it for my thumbnailing process! If you found it helpful check out the next posts in the series!
Part 2: Rough Keys/Extremes and the Shift and Trace Technique

truthteaserum  asked:

Hey I just that evil smiling picture of you playing dnd. I was wondering what you did to become a good dm, I've been curious about playing the game for a while and I think I have to be the dm if I want people to play with lol. Thanks for any help

I promise I didn’t ignore you! I’ve been real busy this week, and wanted to treat this question with the respect it deserves. Thanks for asking me…and assuming I’m a good DM, lol. I try to be good by following the cardinal rule: if you and your players have fun, you win! It’s easy to think it’s you v. the players as a DM, but really it’s a story you’re all making together, you help keep it going smoothly but it belongs to all of you. Once you look at it all from that perspective it gets less stressful, for me at least. Now I know it’s kinda weird since I did kill my players in that picture you saw going around… But that was a one shot. And there were ample opportunities for them to reverse the tide, but the dice were not on their side.

Anyway. I’m sure you’re looking for more concrete answers. Here are the most important things I did in learning to DM.

1. Watch D&D games
I watched Critical Role for a few weeks. After years of being afraid to DM, Matthew Mercer made it look easy and fun. He told fun stories and had varied characters and his players were so invested! The more I watched the more I wanted to play. And the best part about watching Critical Role is that there are 102 episodes and counting. Tons of material to mine for ideas. Another good one is The Adventure Zone podcast. It starts out a little slow for my tastes but once you get into it it’s AMAZING. I love the story in this one, it’s a great way to show you don’t have to stick to typical fantasy tropes to have a great game. Any genre can be a fun game.

While watching, I paid attention to what kinds of rolls the DM called for in situations, how many monsters you could throw before combat gets hazy, how hard it is to DM for lots of people, how long combat takes, how to describe effects based on dice roll, and most importantly, when to stone face your players and when to laugh like the evil genius you are.

2. Get tips from experts
Okay, so, now you think you could probably do the thing, but you don’t want to screw it up right out of the gate. I spent years too scared to DM because it seemed like there was too much to know. I went looking for words of wisdom and found the aforementioned Matt Mercer’s GM Tips. It’s a great series of videos that are short and helpful, split up by topic. Another great series of videos is anything from Matthew Colville, whose Running the Game videos are probably the second largest influence on my work as a Dungeon Master (after Matt Mercer). I also read tons of articles from the official D&D website, like the Sage Advice column. I read every Unearthed Arcana article and thought about how those adjustments compared to the Player’s Handbook. I signed up for the Roleplaying Tips mailing list run by Johnn Four, whose advice is probably the third largest influence on my DMing. I heavily recommend it also because it’s great to get a reminder to work on D&D every few days when a new tip arrives in your inbox. Seriously the best mailing list I’ve ever been on. He also answers questions and solicits answers from the community, so he’s a great resource for obscure wonders.

3. Join a community
This kind of follows from the previous point about advice from Johnn directly. If you’re really struggling with the density of the Core Rulebooks and are daunted by the many columns and tables, a community can help explain things. For instance, I had a lot of trouble parsing how exactly XP adjusted values work. I asked online, and someone helpfully pointed out the reference and made an example so I’d get how to use it myself. Tumblr is good, but I prefer reddit for D&D things. Some great subreddits are r/DMAcademy, r/DMToolkit, r/DnDBehindtheScreen, r/mattcolville (yes, that same Matt Colville), r/UnearthedArcana, and r/worldbuilfing.

There are a number of other forums specifically for D&D that I have accounts for but never use, mostly because I am still recovering from my forum days… I won’t date myself and say how long ago.

4. Google is your friend!
I google everything I need for D&D. Sometimes, even though I know the information I want is in my PHB, the book is on my shelf and I’d have to search for the info. The internet can tell me what I need to know NOW. So! Here’s my advice for googling D&D stuff, along with some of my favourite links.

Rules: Include ‘5e’ or ‘fifth edition’ along with the keyword you’re looking for. This will reduce your chances of ending up on a site intended for players of another edition.
Spells: Don’t google them, go to dnd-spells.com. Seriously. This website saves my life every time I play D&D. You can also make spellbooks for your characters and then generate pdfs before your game! It’s MAGICAL!
Monsters: Homebrew monsters can be fun but be careful when implementing them in your game. If you need help building encounters (like I do), use Kobold Fight Club.
Images: Google image search can get you really general or really specific stuff. If you want random images to inspire you you’re better off looking at something like The MET.
Names: There is one site to end all sites for this. For all other generators, see donjon.

5. Steal like an artist
I have a lot of fun watching, reading, and playing other types of media and thinking, “I’m going to steal that for my game.” I love comic books for example. Recently, I decided to put Iron Man into my game. Not for any reason, just because it would be fun. I didn’t simply put Tony Stark as a rich human noble into my game and wait for my player to meet him so I could do my best Robert Downey Jr. impression. I thought about what makes that character exciting and recognizable and transported it into the steampunk world of my campaign. I changed his name and race. I made him an Artificer, a Gunslinger protective of his prototypes (*waves at Taliesin*), who could also build Mech Suits that are as much works of art as they are feats of magical engineering. I gave him an assistant with a romantic love triangle and let him loose in my world. It was so much fun to watch my player figure out my inspiration! Not every NPC needs this level of detail, but all your choices should circle back to ‘How well would this work in MY world?’

By taking inspiration from the things you love, filling in the 'gaps’ to breathe life into your universe should come easily. I didn’t know Tran Intubi (Tony Stark) had a gallery of retired mech suits in his Tower but I described as such in-game. The description came naturally when I had a base inspiration to rely on.

I hope that was more helpful than long-winded!

alright, hi there. i’m a moderately accomplished visual artist, poet, novelist, and fanfiction writer who’s about to be That Guy.

so right now there’s this whole “don’t tag as #me or #kin”  thing going around (as well as people drawing interactions between characters and saying “don’t tag as #[ship name]), and there’s started to be this collective decision that this is now a moral burden on the audience. that consumers of art have the moral obligation to go through an artist’s blog before reblogging any of their art and find out their opinions on specific tags before tagging them as such.

i am here, with my multiple published works and several years in online art communities, to tell you that this isn’t how art works oh my god.

it is not the moral obligation of a consumer of content to go find out every single thing about an content creator and try to conform to the original intention of a piece of artwork. intention in creating artwork is all internal. in some artwork, it comes through externally to the audience without them having to hunt it down; however, in artwork where that is not the case (often where the artist doesn’t want the intention to be externally obvious), the motivations for creating a piece of art are entirely internal on the artist’s part, and lose their relevance one the art hits an audience.

because what’s the job of an audience? to fucking interpret art.

once you put your content out in public, you are opening yourself up to feedback, critique, interpretation, and derivative content. that interpretation will not always line up with your original intentions for a piece. sometimes, that interpretation will be wildly incorrect. but it doesn’t matter how incorrect it is–an audience has the right to interpret your art and react to it in any way desired, and it’s that reaction and interpretation that creates the two-way dialogue necessary for good art.

good art doesn’t come from masturbatory “here is every single thing about this piece that you need to see and here is precisely how you should interpret it” circlejerks. good art inspires creativity, not cuts it off before it even begins.

see, i get really passionate about this because this is the same shit authors like Anne Rice used to go after fanfiction authors of their work. at one point in time, there were actual lawsuits against fic writers and fanartists for supposedly infringing on the original authors’ intellectual property by creating derivative work.

and a lot of those stemmed from pieces where the audience’s interpretation of a character or a story was different from the original author’s. a common one was where a fic author would make a character gay, and then the original author would be like oHOoh NnNOnOO NOoott the HomoOSeXUalLS!!!111!!

anyway. tangent aside, once you put your content out in public, you are entering into an implied agreement with your audience where they are free to interpret, discuss, and create derivatives of your content, without regard for your personal feelings.

yes, art can be personal, and that’s good! but public art is a two-way dialogue between an artist and an audience. it can be extremely personal on the artist’s part, but if the artist still chooses to make the art public, it being personal doesn’t have an effect on whether or not there’s a moral obligation of the audience to stick to the artist’s original intentions.

in short, if you really have such a huge personal problem with someone relating really hard to your OC and tagging as #kin, or with someone seeing flirtiness in how you’re drawing your two favorite characters interacting, then you shouldn’t be putting that content in the public sphere. it’s fine to have those sensitivities, it doesn’t mean you’re a bad person or flawed somehow, it just means that the particular content you’re creating is too personal and shouldn’t be put into the public sphere.

sharing art is a great experience, of course, and it’s always good to have a circle of close friends, maybe an art teacher or something, who can give you feedback and help you improve. but like… if you can’t deal with public engagement with your work, then don’t post it on a public account. email back-and-forth between friends or pass your sketchbook around instead.

anyway i have no idea how to end this *fingerguns* B)

in denial but practically married

Originally posted by captivatesme

Admin: Sadie 

Words: 10,656 (holy moly that’s the most I’ve ever written)

Description: If he’s a photographer who gets hired constantly by the magazine company you work at, and you two are best friends, who’s to say there isn’t any hidden feelings?

Author’s Notes: How rude can Kyungsoo be? Wrecking my bias list with his stupid acting and beautiful vocals and his sarcastic tone and sass and fuck why does he have to do this to me. like seriously. i find myself so often watching random videos of things he did back in 2012 at 3 am so seriously why. hes not even my bias. 

“Okay guys let’s do that one more time, but this time, with more flowers!”

The producer’s voice rings loud and clear throughout the studio. Immediately, you jump into action, running to the models quickly and checking over their dresses quickly. The person in charge of the props takes the large box of petals and roses and heaves it up the ladder so he can throw the red petals over the model. 

The model’s dress is still immaculate, but a piece of her hair had escaped from the gracefully messy braid that was strewn across her shoulder. You immediately go to pin it back and then scramble off the set before the producer’s voice is heard again. 

“All right people that’s perfect!” he shouts. The photographers start flashing away, and you go to stand behind one of them to look over their shoulder to see the pictures. The pictures, of course, are gorgeous, turning out absolutely flawless. The angles are perfect, the models are stunning, and the photographer’s ass looks great in those jeans. 

Fuck. 

It was 100% percent normal for you to accidentally catch yourself staring at his ass. You mean, like it’s a nice ass, so you’re gonna appreciate it. Too bad that ass is attached to one of your closest friend’s body. 

That friend is Do Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo is a photographer. As a matter of fact, he’s a hell of a photographer. Back in high school he was a photography protege. Like seriously. In the middle of algebra class, if he was inspired enough, he would take out his camera and just start photographing random things, like the worksheets, his pencils, and occasionally that cute guy he saw across the room named Kai or Jongin or whatever. 

You didn’t go to high school with him, so how did you know all this about him? Well, he had told you over numerous nights of watching old movies, discussing new ideas to promote at both of your jobs, and just ordering take out so you two could talk about life and other random things. It had become kind of your thing. After you both got off work, which was typically at similar times, because your jobs depended on each other, it would be off to this small but really good cafe (no really–their chocolate chip muffins were literally made by an angel, not to mention their jujube bingsoo) near your buildings. There you two would chat and occasionally make fun of your crazy executives. 

It was a nice thing to do, especially after a day of shooting. Those photo shoots got intense sometimes. You worked for a magazine company, in the fashion department. Your job was to make sure the designer dresses and various other clothing styles were in perfect condition. Typically, you would be the one to formulate the outfits before submitting them to your superiors for approval. You would also analyze the outfits once they were used and write a column or a page describing the designer’s feelings towards that piece or what goes into rocking that piece. It wasn’t a hard job, and it paid well. It’s also where you met Kyungsoo when you first started three years ago. 

A water being tossed in your direction brings you out of your reverie. Sadly, you come out of your reverie a little too late and the bottle hits you in the face. 

“Shit! Sorry (Y/N). Wasn’t aiming at your face if you were wondering.”

You scowl and lean down to pick up the bottle. “Work on your aim there, penguin-man.”

Kyungsoo laughs and opens his own bottle of water to take a swig. Apparently, while you were off reminiscing, the producer called break. You graciously take a sip of your water before moving closer to Kyungsoo to punch him in the arm. 

“You seem spaced out today,” he says, grinning as he rubs his arm. “What have you been thinking about?”

You shrug. I was thinking about your lovely ass, buddy. “Taxes, work, how much water I drink a day, adult stuff.”

He lets out a chuckle, before setting his water down on a nearby table and looking over his camera, checking to see if the pictures were turning out as planned. Of course, you knew the pictures were flawless, as you had already checked them out previously, but a good photographer always double checks.

You come up behind him and rest your chin on his shoulder to look at his camera. He’s warm, as usual, and smells like coffee and peppermint, something you’ve grown quite fond of. He acknowledges you with a small smile on his heart shaped lips. 

“Oooo, I like that one,” you say, pointing to one as he scrolls through the pictures. He looks at you over his shoulder. 

“Didn’t you already look at them all?” he asks. 

“Yes, but these are the raw ones,” you say, stepping back and grinning. “These are the ones that you took on your own camera. It’s not the same as looking at them with a bunch of people.”

He gives you a strange look. “But they’re literally the same exact pictures.”

“Not to me.”

“Why in the world are you so fucking weird?”

“Maybe because I’m hanging out with you all the time. Weird people tend to flock together, you know?”

That gets him. He doubles over, laughing. You grin triumphantly. You’ve always found pride in making Kyungsoo laugh like that. Totally not because his laugh was one of the most gorgeous sounds you’ve ever heard. Totally not. 

After regaining his posture, with the smile still present on his face, he opens his mouth to say something (probably something really snarky) but the producer beats him to it. 

“Break time’s over! Let’s wrap this shoot up quickly!”

_________

Just as the producer wanted, the crew wrapped up the shooting not long after that break. You followed the models into the dressing room to help them properly and carefully take off the delicately designed dresses. You’re extra careful about that bit of lace near the buttons. 

As the models all make their way from the dressing room, bowing respectively, you zip up the last dress into it’s protective bag and take a deep breath. That shoot was a lot more mild than you expected, and for that you’re glad. Usually the shoots leave you drained from being around so many people and in need of recharging. Kyungsoo typically deals with the same curse of introverted-ness as you, so you two often try to recharge together, which completely goes against the idea of an introvert. 

Regardless of your introverted self, you find yourself craving more of Kyungsoo’s time, and wanting to be with him more often than naught. You’ve told some of your other friends this, and all they’ve said is stuff like, “You’re blind. Metaphorically and physically,” or “Why is it that when you need to recharge, you only want to hang out with–ohh…never mind,” or “He must be special to you or something. Introverts tend to group together I think.”

You groan in frustration. You really don’t know why you like Kyungsoo more than others. In truth, he just kind of snuck up on you. You both had been huddled in a corner at a company dinner, and with both of your bosses chatting together, talking about deals and such, you two had awkwardly scrolled through your phones until you saw a picture of Natsu on his phone and you couldn’t help but ask him about it. From that grew anime hangouts and then just casual hangouts. Over the three years you knew him, he became the closest person to you. Up until Kyungsoo, you’d never really had any super close friends, like ones that you know you couldn’t ever get tired around, no matter how much you loved them. 

A knock at the door makes you jump and realize that you were staring at yourself in the mirror for the past thirty seconds. 

“(Y/N)? You in here? Doesn’t matter I’m still coming in because I know you’re in here.”

The door knob turns and Kyungsoo’s face peeks around the corner of the opened door. A heart-shaped grin forms over his lips. “You ready to go? You took even longer than usual to pack up.”

You shake your head to get rid of the remnants of your thoughts. “I’m ready. How much longer did you have to wait? Five minutes? Thirty seconds?”

“You were like half an hour later than usual,” he says, coming fully into the room with his hands in his pockets. “I had to wait in the cold, freezing night for like ten minutes!”

“Kyungsoo, it’s five in the evening. The sun is still out. That, and the fact that it’s like 70 degrees outside.”

“I know that. Now, let’s go. I need my evening coffee.”

You quickly grab your satchel and double check to see if everything is in there before nodding and Kyungsoo and leaving the dressing room. 

________

The cafe that you typically go to is quiet, which is strange, as people are typically just getting out of work at that time. But today, the cafe is practically empty, save for some college students huddled in a corner. You both order the same thing you’ve been ordering for the past six months and find your seat on the second floor of the cafe to wait. 

The seat that you two always sit at is always on the second floor, secluded from most people. It’s right next to the window, so you can scope out people and guess what they’re thinking in those moments. It’s become quite a routine for you. You could even call it therapeutic, in a way. It gets you out of your apartment after work and helps you stay involved in the world. Honestly, without Kyungsoo, you’d probably be back in your apartment, endlessly scrolling through Tumblr looking for decent fanfictions to read. 

It hits you as you sit down in your seat. Kyungsoo has taken up about 96% of your life and you’re left wondering how that happened. How did this awkward, introverted photographer with a secret love of anime and kittens who comes off as really rude at first glance manage to sneak his way into your life? How did such a person who likes plants and taking pictures of things he deems “elegant” become so close to you? Somehow, he manages to sneak his way into most of your thoughts. He manages to get you ready for the day. He manages to make sure that you eat healthy food and a nice home cooked meal once in a while. He has just taken up so much of your thoughts and you just wish it would all–

“(Y/N)? You still there?”

A hand waves across your face and you jump. You nod, still reevaluating everything that happened in your life up until this point in your mind. 

“You seem really spaced out today,” he says, a look of confusion spreading across his face. “There’s got to be something you’ve been overthinking about lately. Come on. Spill it, or I’m eating all the jujube bingsoo.”

You shrug. “If you don’t let me have some of that bingsoo, I swear I will never talk to you again, Kyungsoo.”

He grins. “Then tell me what’s got you all distracted lately.”

“Nothing!” you say, a bit more defensively this time. “Nothing is distracting me at all!”

Kyungsoo hums. “Oh I’ll definitely believe you. Totally. And I can stand that Chanyeol guy who works with you.”

“Chanyeol is a nice guy!”

“He’s too nice.”

You groan in frustration and open your mouth to say something, but the buzzer signifying your drinks and food are ready buzzes before you can say anything. 

“I’m gonna go and get the drinks,” you say, snatching up the buzzer from beneath Kyungsoo’s hand. “And you are not eating all of the bingsoo, I assure you that.”

You walk off to walk down the stairs and sigh. He knows you too well. He knows when your mind is wandering. The only problem is, he doesn’t know what it’s wandering to. Lately, it’s been wandering to Kyungsoo. You really have no idea why. It’s truly getting annoying. All your mind has been saying is, “Will Kyungsoo be there?” “I wonder what Kyungsoo is up to now.” “Has Kyungsoo eaten today?” and other various thoughts concerning Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo, Kyungsoo, Kyungsoo. That’s all it’s been. You’ve known this guy for three years, and yet just now he’s been in every thought you’ve had. 

You shake your head to rid yourself of thoughts of Kyungsoo as you pick up your bingsoo and tea. You assure yourself that it’s only because he’s been your friend for so long, that’s why he’s always in your mind. Yeah. He’s been your friend for a long time. That’s why. No other reason. Absolutely no other reason. 

You make your way back to your table, where Kyungsoo is staring out the window. The evening sun shining in through the window makes him absolutely glow, accentuating his cheekbones and the graceful curves of his lips. It’s truly stunning how he can be so beautiful. It’s also a bit weird because that beautiful man is you best friend. It’s totally normal to admire your best friend, right? You did admire his ass earlier during the shoot, but now that you think back on it, was because your eyes were fixated on a point and he just so happened to move into that exact spot, and you were just too lazy move your eyes. Simple as that. 

You make sure to keep the bingsoo close to you as you sit down, glaring suspiciously at your friend. He smirks at you and you growl. “Don’t fucking take my bingsoo from me.”

Kyungsoo holds his hands up in surrender. “Fine, fine. Just please tell me what’s been going through your mind.”

“Chanyeol!” You can’t stop the name from escaping your lips. He was the first person to come to mind that wasn’t Kyungsoo, so he was better than nothing. 

“What?”

“Chanyeol…he’s the one that I’ve been thinking about,” you say, taking a sip of you tea, only to find out that it’s scalding hot.

“That over sized man-child is what you’ve been thinking about?” Kyungsoo crosses his arms across his chest. “Chanyeol? Really? Why of all people him?”

You cough. “Well…he’s very nice to me…and he’s interested in getting to know me…plus he’s really tall and acts kinda like a puppy?”

Kyungsoo looks at you suspiciously. “You don’t sound very sure about that.”

“No, I guess I don’t,” you say, taking a bite of the bingsoo. The sweet taste of the red beans combined with the shaved ice and a piece of jujube explodes on your tongue and you almost moan at how good it tastes. 

He sighs in defeat. “I should probably stop while I’m ahead. I’ve gotten what I can out of you.”

You grin. “If only you could read my mind.”

_________________

It’s 3 AM and you’re struggling to sleep. No matter what you do, you can’t stop evaluating everything about Kyungsoo and your relationship. This had never happened before. Evaluating your relationship with him means you’re evaluating your feelings for him. That’s scary. Feelings are scary. Especially if they’re anything but platonic for your best friend, who you most certainly do not want to scare away. 

You toss around in your bed, trying to get comfortable. Nothing really works. Sometimes, if you can’t sleep, you reach around to try to find Kyungsoo, but this wasn’t one of the nights that he stays over. Most of the time, you find yourself staying over at Kyungsoo’s or sometimes you find him staying over at yours. It’s quite comforting, in a way. He’s very warm and quite comfy, like a nice pillow. 

You sigh. Kyungsoo is just someone that’s so special to you that you don’t ever want to let go. He helps you out of your shell. He spends hours of his life with you. He cooks for you. He helps clean your apartment with you. He often sleeps over with you. He argues with you if you are ever tempted to adopt a dog even though your apartment building doesn’t allow pets. He makes sure you get home on time. He makes sure you’re awake and caffeinated for the day. He listens to you if you need someone to talk to. He appreciates your talents and encourages them. 

This isn’t fair. Why are you the one who has to reevaluate an entire relationship at 3 AM? Why can’t Kyungsoo be the one who’s up all night thinking about everything you did with him? Why does it have to be you?

Kyungsoo is just so…so…different from anyone you’ve ever met. Your friends say that you two are practically married at this point. Whenever they say that, you two always laugh it off, but something in your heart feels strange whenever they mention it. Maybe they’re right. Maybe you two are almost like a married couple. 

You groan in frustration. Kyungsoo is an amazing person. He’s a gentleman, kind and respectful. He knows when to be professional and he knows when to be silly. He seems so rude and cut off from the world at first, but then you get to know him, and he’s this giant fluff ball with penguin boxers and a lot of sass. He’s so particular. So very very particular. With his minimalist art he has lined up on his walls, those cat slippers he got for you because he knows how much you like cats, and his amazing chef skills, he’s almost too good to be true. 

Besides being a sweetheart and kind to literally everyone he meets, he’s also physically stunning. Absolutely stunning. With his heart shaped lips and well defined arms, he’s stunning. You’ve seen the way your co-workers have eyed him and remember the way that made you feel. It made you feel all yucky and annoyed all of a sudden. They would take one glance at him and just start giggling. It was even worse at restaurants. If the waitress or waiter was interested, they would flirt with him, and that happened quite often. It wasn’t like you’d get jealous or anything. It’s not like you love him. Right?

Fuck. 

You’re totally, head-over-heals in love with your best friend. You slap your hand across your face and groan again, but this time louder. It’s not like you can help it. This is the first time you’ve come to terms with your feelings for him and you don’t like it. Not one bit. 

__________

The next morning scares you and you don’t want to get out of bed. Getting out of bed means having to see Kyungsoo. And having to see Kyungsoo means that you’ll have to face the reality of your newly discovered feelings. That doesn’t sound very appealing to you. So instead of facing your feelings head on, you decide to run from them. 

You end up calling in sick that day. Which is technically not a lie, as your stomach feels queasy and your head is kind of pounding. That and you hadn’t taken a sick day for the past five months, so might as well now. Thankfully there aren’t any big shoots to do today, as the big one was yesterday. Today would have just consisted of going through the photos and deciding which ones would work best in the magazine. Being the person who contacts designers and formulates the outfits you weren’t really needed anyway. Besides, you wouldn’t have to face Kyungsoo today anyway. 

Kyungsoo ends up texting you, asking if you’re alive, if you’ve eaten, whether or not you’ve taken any medicine, or drank anything today. Honestly, you don’t know how he knew you called in sick. He doesn’t even work at your building. Maybe he was there as the executives were choosing the photos. You’ll never really know. 

 You’re sick? why didn’t you tell me?

I dunno. I don’t even feel that bad. I guess I just kinda wanted a break or something.

did you eat anything today?

yea…some crackers and half a carrot

that’s not enough. 

i’m not even that hungry

regardless, I’m gonna bring you some soup

Dude you have your own job. Stay being responsible and do your job, you little shit

here I am, being an amazing best friend, bringing you soup when you’re sick and still under-appreciated. how rude of you. 

you’re at WORK now, penguin man. you don’t need to bring me soup. 

I’m bringing you soup. Did you drink anything today?

yes, mom, i drank some juice and water. 

why are you still sassy when you’re sick

I SAID IM NOT EVEN THAT SICK AND EVEN IN GENERAL IM NOT SASSY OMFG 

still. let me in when i get to your apartment. 

You throw your phone down onto your bed in frustration. All you really want to do is avoid Kyungsoo at all costs. And he’s not letting you even try to avoid him. Telling him that you just recently realized your feelings for him will absolutely ruin your friendship with him. You’re about 100% sure he doesn’t feel the same way about you. How could he anyway? The thought of him ever having feelings for you makes you laugh. Why would he like you? He’s so intricate and you’re just…well you’re just you. 

You decide to get up and wait in the living room for him. You plop yourself down onto your couch with your laptop and decide to watch an episode of Strong Woman Do Bong Soon. The beautiful Ahn Min Hyuk should help distract you from Kyungsoo and his adorable pout and cute lips and kind smile and good heart and fuck where were you going with this thought. 

Halfway through a particularly good episode, a knock sounds from your door. You sigh. There’s absolutely no way to avoid this, is there? Another knock sounds at your door, confirming that there is not one single way to avoid this. At all. 

You sluggishly make your way to the door and open it, to reveal Kyungsoo, with multiple grocery bags full of ingredients. 

“I wasn’t sure what type of soup you wanted, so I got lots of things.”

Damn him. Damn him and his thoughtfulness. 

“How is your boss okay with this?” you ask, opening the door wider for him to maneuver in with all those bags. 

He sets the bags down on your kitchen counter and begins unpacking the food. “He knows how close we are. He also thinks we’re secretly married.”

You pray hard that your face isn’t red.

“Damn, your face is really red. Just how sick are you?”

Fuck fuck fuck fuck. “I said already, I’m not really sick at all. You don’t need to make me any soup.”

He still doesn’t stop unloading the groceries. “I’m still making you soup. Besides, it was about time to restock your fridge.”

You sigh in defeat and sit on the counter next to the stove. “You don’t need to. I don’t need you to baby me.”

Kyungsoo smirks and a comfortable silence falls between you both. It’s moments like these where you’re going to struggle trying to keep these feelings to yourself. It’s not like you can help it. He’s just such…such boyfriend material, you know? Especially when he’s wearing that jean jacket and those ripped black jeans. And most specially when he’s preparing the vegetables for the soup. 

“So, you’ve been thinking about Chanyeol lately, huh?” Kyungsoo breaks the silence. He looks over at you expectantly. There’s something in his eyes that scares you. 

“I guess so,” you sigh. “He’s very tall and easy to notice. That and he works with you, so I get to see him a lot.”

“He asked about you today, you know.” He starts to slice the carrots. “As I was leaving, he asked if you were okay and if I would say hi to you for him.”

This surprises you. “Really? He did? That’s so sweet of him.” Thinking about all these boyfriend vibes you’re getting from Kyungsoo is making you wonder how long these feelings have been repressed for. Especially as you notice how this is exactly how you two usually act. Maybe you can date Chanyeol as a way to get your mind off of Kyungsoo. But then again, wouldn’t that technically be using Chanyeol? Maybe if you explained your situation to Chanyeol he would understand your predicament. 

A glare is shot your way. “I don’t like him,” he says, turning back to his carrots. 

“Why? He’s a nice guy and he brings me coffee every once and a while.”

“He does what now?”

“Brings me coffee,” you say. Why the hell is Kyungsoo getting all riled up? “Is there anything wrong with that?”

“No,” he says. “There’s absolutely nothing wrong with it. I just don’t really see him as someone you could be with.”

That catches you off guard. “Someone I could be with? Kyungsoo, he’s adorable and sweet plus he’s tall and got cute ears. I can see myself with him.” You say that to Kyungsoo, but somehow, it feels more like you’re saying it to yourself. Chanyeol is a great guy in all, but he’s not Kyungsoo. 

“Well, who am I to stop you then?” he replies shortly. “Date him if you want to. I’m not going to stop you.”

“Dummy,” you say, hopping off of the counter and going to steal a piece of carrot. “I don’t even know if he likes me or not.”

 “He told me he thinks you’re cute,” Kyungsoo says as he cuts a second piece of celery into small slices. 

Really? That was unexpected. Still, you hope that Chanyeol will be understanding of your problem when you tell him. Why of all people do you have to struggle with these stupid feelings for your best friend? Why?

“Then tomorrow I’ll get his number,” you declare, grinning. “If he thinks I’m cute then there’s a mutual attraction somewhere.”

“Yeah, I guess there is,” he says as he throws a pinch of salt into the soup pot.

_____________

The next day starts almost exactly the same way the previous one had. You don’t want to face Kyungsoo again and the world at all. But you know if you could face him for a few hours yesterday, then today shouldn’t be so bad. How people with unrequited love survive, you’ll never know. You guess you’ll find out. 

You drag yourself from your bed to get ready. Your apartment seems colder than usual now that you’re not in your warm bed, bundled in your sheets. Typically you’d keep the apartment a bit colder than a typical indoor temperature. It’s easier to put on clothing if you’re cold than to take off clothing if your hot. You dig through your closet to find something presentable and strip out of your pajamas to change. 

You make a quick breakfast of eggs and toast before grabbing your phone and wallet and leaving your apartment to take the bus to your work building. The ride isn’t very long, thankfully, and once you arrive, you rush into the building. You aren’t late at all, as a matter of fact you’re quite early, but just the thought of the possibility of running into Kyungsoo scares you. 

You successfully avoid seeing Kyungsoo on your way in, but the person standing at your desk confuses you. He’s facing away from you, but judging by the tall and lanky body, it’s probably Chanyeol. 

“Morning!” you cheerily quip as you make your way around your desk to set your things down. The tall man smiles back at you, and holds a cup of coffee out to you. His face is slightly dusted pink. 

“I-Kyungsoo told me tha-that you’re interested in getting to know me better,” he says, as you take the coffee from him and smile. 

“He did?” you say as you blow on the coffee to try to cool it down. “Well, he wouldn’t be wrong, per say…but I wanted to talk to you about something.”

His eyebrows raise. “You do? How about over coffee this evening then? After work? I mean, after all, we’re still reviewing the photos today so I usually get off at the same time as you.”

You nod in confirmation. “That’d be nice, sure.”

You know that the after work coffee runs are usually exclusively you and Kyungsoo, but today, you just still want to run from your feelings once again. Yesterday, Kyungsoo literally forced you to interact with him, being the giant sweetheart that he is, just so he could take care of you. Gah, why is he so sweet? 

Chanyeol leaves your desk after people begin coming into the well decorated office space the fashion team was assigned to and gives you a wave over his shoulder. Thankfully, you only have to write the rough draft of a column describing the dress and how it was worn. The writing part was never the easiest part of your job, but you still liked the way the words just flowed onto the document at sometimes. It made you feel better about your writing skills. 

According to the subscribers of the magazine, they quite liked and appreciated your input and facts about the outfits. Which was surprising to you, as you had never really thought that your facts and tips were all that special. But apparently they were. It always boosts your self esteem whenever you read a good review, makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside, like you actually accomplished something good in your life. 

The day went by fast. Kyungsoo had texted you occasionally, sending sneaky pictures of Chanyeol and saying stupid things like

wow look at that hunk ammi right?

why him tho

just why

hey look there he goes

visiting his princess maybe?

stfu penguin 

btw im meeting with him after work, so today’s evening coffee run will have to be postponed one day

oh come on 

really?

yes, really

you’re ditching me for him? That’s not fair

buddy how is it not fair? 

ugh it doesn’t matter anymore. you better not bring him to our cafe tho

that’s OUR cafe

not his and urs

OURS

Soo, we don’t own that cafe it’s not technically ours

stop being so salty

i gtg finish this column. focus on ur pictures k buddy?

fine finish ur thingy

have fun

Why does he have to be like that? You really still don’t know after three years of friendship. 

“So, Chanyeol eh?”

You jump in your seat and turn around to see Jiwoo standing behind you. “What? No. No, not at all.”

She smirks. “But he totally gave you that coffee this morning. I saw him. And what’s that about you meeting up for coffee with him after work? I thought that was what you and Kyungsoo did though. You’re not cheating on him right?”

Your face turns bright red. “We aren’t dating!” you say defensively. 

Jiwoo lets out a laugh. “Oh, right sorry. I forgot you’re married.”

“We are not married!” You cross your arms over your chest. 

“Oh hush, you two are practically married at this point. I’m surprised you two haven’t moved in together yet.”

“That’s because we aren’t married!”

Another smirk forms over Jiwoo’s face. “Are you sure about that? You’re both obviously in love with each other. Like seriously. You make it so obvious. I walked past the meeting room and Kyungsoo was totally staring daggers at Chanyeol. He looked like he was really close to socking him in the mouth or something.”

“Kyungsoo always looks like that when Chanyeol’s around,” you say. “He hates him.”

Jiwoo hums. “Have you ever wondered why he hates him so much?”

“Maybe because he’s so much taller than him, and Kyungsoo has an inferiority complex?”

“Yeah, let’s just go with that until you two come to terms with your feelings.”

“I have come to terms,” you mumble under your breath. “And I don’t like it.”

Jiwoo hears you. She lets out a squeal and kneels down next to your chair. “Wait really?” She whispers. “Are you serious? Fucking finally, I thought I was gonna scream just watching you two not dating for real.”

You groan in frustration. “Don’t tell anyone, please, Jiwoo. I don’t want to love him, if I tell him how I really feel, I think he’ll get scared and awkward and then slowly get more distant from me and then I’ll be left single for the rest of my life, with five cats, but then again, having five cats doesn’t seem too–”

“(Y/N).” Jiwoo interrupts your ranting. “Just stop overthinking it. He probably feels the same way as you.”

You scoff. “Oh really? Sure, yeah totally. Kyungsoo totally is in love with me just as much as I love him. Totally.”

Jiwoo rolls her eyes. “Ha ha, love the sarcasm. But seriously, the way he looks at you, it’s like you’re the night sky or some shit like that. Or maybe it’s like he’s looking at his camera or something. It’s adorable.”

You eye her. “I don’t think Kyungsoo loves his camera in a romantic way, Jiwoo.”

She shrugs as she stands up. “I dunno, honey. He loves that camera more than anything in the world. Except maybe you.”

With that she skips off giggling to herself, leaving you bright red in the face and a scowl. 

The day ends up going much quicker after that. You finish up the column and submit it for assessment, relieved that you got it done with time to spare. You decide to work on researching and trying to find contacts for new designers looking to put their names out there. 

You don’t even realize that it’s the end of the day until Chanyeol shows up in front of your desk, waiting for you expectantly. 

“You ready?” He asks. You nod and swing your backpack across your shoulder. Smiling at you, you both leave the building, giving a wave to your executives. 

Your phone buzzes, multiple times. Turns out Jiwoo was spying on Kyungsoo for you. Wonderful.

Kyungsoo’s sulking

like really he’s sulking and pouting like a baby

wow

he’s such trash for you

how is this possible. 

I think he’s scrolling through his photos of you

holy shit man

he’s trash

i s2g

you are married

face the facts man

I am with CHANYEOL u asshole leave me alone

You guys are married

have fun on ur attempt to make kyungie jealous

which is totally working btw

You can’t help but giggle as you slip your phone into your pocket. Chanyeol looks at you, a soft grin on his face. “Kyungsoo?”

Your head whips around to look at him. “No! It was Jiwoo, gosh, man.”

Chanyeol lets out a laugh. “Wow, quick to deny that, are we?”

You can feel your face getting a little warm. “Well, I don’t want to help feed the idea that Kyungsoo and I are secretly married, now do I?”

He laughs again. You arrive at a different cafe than the usual cafe you go to with Kyungsoo. It would feel a bit strange to bring someone that wasn’t Kyungsoo to that cafe. 

You both order, getting a chocolate muffin to split, an iced mocha for you, and a white chocolate mocha for Chanyeol. Once your drinks were ready, you found a seat near the window and sat down. 

Chanyeol takes a sip of his drink and immediately retracts from it, yelping. “Hot! Holy fuck, that’s hot.”

You laugh. “This is why I got an iced coffee, especially in this 70 degree weather we’re having.”

He sticks his burnt tongue out at you and blows on his coffee. “So, what did you want to talk to me about.”

You bite your lip. “Well, you see, I am in a bit of a predicament.”

He raises an eyebrow at you. “How so?”

“Um,ikindasortarealizedthatilovekyungsooanddon’tknowhowtofacemyfeelingsandhim.”

“Mm hmm,” Chanyeol says, taking a sip of his coffee, but this time slower. “And how does that make you feel?”

You groan. “You have no idea what I just said, do you?”

He grins and shakes his head. “No clue. Mind slowing down a bit?”

You take a deep breath. “Okay, so I…I realized that I love Kyungsoo.”

Chanyeol’s grin just grows. “Finally. I had no idea how long I was going to have to wait for you two to discover your feelings for each other.”

This confuses you. “Wait, you’re not upset at all?”

“Why would I be upset about that?” He asks, taking a piece of the muffin and putting it in his mouth. 

“Well, I mean, um, Kyungsoo may have said that you said that you thought that I was cute…and I mean I thought that maybe you liked me…”

Chanyeol laughs again. “I only wanted to ever be your friend! Besides, if I ever even tried to make a move on you, Kyungsoo would kill me. I mean, if I tried to even talk to you while he’s in the same room, I’d probably die. He loves you a lot, but I can tell he’s in denial. He talk about you all the time, that’s why I wanted to get to know you.”

You take a sip of your coffee and shake your head. “It’s just really hard for me to believe people when they say that Kyungsoo loves me. I can’t believe anyone who says Kyungsoo loves me. It doesn’t seem possible at all.”

“Honey, Kyungsoo is in love with you.”

“Why does everyone keep saying that?”

“Because it’s true, buddy.” Chanyeol sips his coffee. “If you hear more than one person say that, it’s probably true.”

You scoff. “Yeah, sure. It’s probably just a giant prank or something. How many people are in on this, dude?”

“Look, I’ll tell you what,” he says. “Let’s date.”

This catches you off guard. “Let’s what now?”

He sits back in his seat “Date. Let’s go on a few dates, but make it really obvious that we’re seeing each other.”

“….Why?”

“Kyungsoo is going to hate me so much after this-”

“He already hates you a lot.”

“But if it gets him to realize his damn feelings for you then so be it. It’s getting really annoying hearing him talk about how ‘(Y/N) did this yesterday’ and ‘(Y/N) tripped over a dog today.’ No offense.”

“None taken.”

He leans forward again, elbows on his knees. “So? Will you do it?”

You contemplate this. Maybe seeing Chanyeol would be a good way to get over Kyungsoo. Although Chanyeol just wants to “date” you for the sake of making Kyungsoo jealous (which you highly doubt will actually happen). This could help though. It’s better than telling Kyungsoo how you feel and risking losing your best friend.

You sigh. “Might as well.”

Chanyeol grins. “Let’s do this thing.”

___________________

Chanyeol’s plan is put into action the next day. You had exchanged numbers the previous day, and discussed the details over the night. The next day, you are to eat lunch with Chanyeol, possibly inviting Kyungsoo along if he so happened to be around (which he was most likely going to be). Chanyeol will be blatantly flirting and you’re pretty sure you’ll have to play along. You know this is the dumbest thing you’ve ever done. Really, trying to possibly make Kyungsoo jealous? You? It was like trying to make a penguin jealous of a cat’s milk or something, it didn’t make sense nor did you think that would ever happen. 

Regardless, when lunch comes around the next day, you wave a brief goodbye to Jiwoo and the rest of the team and leave to find Chanyeol. You still don’t think it’s going to make any effect on Kyungsoo at all. It just seems so ridiculous to you.

You meet Chanyeol outside of your building. He’s wearing an oversized sweatshirt, skinny jeans, and a sly smile on his face. You approach him cautiously. 

“What’s with the face?” you ask, worried that he did something stupid. Again. 

He scratches the back of his neck. “I invited Kyungsoo along with us.”

“Damnit.”

He shrugs. “We were going to invite him along if he was around anyway. I thought I should just do it.”

“And he said he would go to lunch with you?”

“I told him you were going and he immediately changed his mind. He literally growled at me. It was scary.”

You laugh and shake your head. “He’s weird.”

“Who’s weird?”

You swivel around to see Kyungsoo walking up to the both of you, a hard look on his face. Almost by instinct, your heart starts pounding and the butterflies in your tummy start running a marathon. 

“No one,” Chanyeol replies, grinning as he swings an arm across your shoulder casually. Kyungsoo scoffs. 

“Whatever,” he says, a sullen look taking over his face. “Let’s just eat. Where are we going?”

“I was going to let (Y/N) here pick out the place,” Chanyeol says, grinning down at you. You look up at him with wide eyes. 

“Me?” You ask, totally caught off guard. Chanyeol cheerily nods at you, and you glance over at Kyungsoo. He’s fiddling with the camera hanging from his neck and staring across the street at something. “Oh, well, how does Thai sound?”

Chanyeol grins. “Sure, love, whatever you feel like.”

“I thought you hated Thai?” Kyungsoo shoots at Chanyeol, his eyes staring daggers at him. 

“Well, I do,” he begins. “But if my lovely (Y/N) here wants it, then I’m perfectly fine with that.”

Your face turns bright red. 

Your (Y/N)?” Kyungsoo grumbles. “I didn’t realize that she belonged to anybody.”

Can these two please stop? Like really. It’s embarrassing. And kind of terrifying at the same time. Seriously, Kyungsoo looks like he’s been watching too much “How to Get Away With Murder,” and thinks that he can actually get away with it. 

Chanyeol only holds his hands up in surrender. “You’re right, you’re right. She’s not a possession. She’s an angel,” he says, and pinches your cheek. You push his hands away and shrink into yourself. 

“Stop that,” you mumble. “It’s embarrassing.”

“Yeah, you heard her,” Kyungsoo says scowling and adjusting his backpack. “Stop it.”

Chanyeol merely grabs your hand and turns you around. “Lead the way to the Thai, my angel.”

An annoyed grunt is heard from behind you and the butterflies only seem to fly faster.

The Thai place that you chose is absolutely amazing, one of your favourites, and you decide to get take out so you could just bring it back to your buildings. Thankfully, the restaurant isn’t too far from the building so you don’t have to walk far with the warm food. You also don’t have to wait very long to eat the wonderful smelling food. Your stomach grumbles as you walk alongside Kyungsoo, while Chanyeol runs ahead to pet some dogs.

“So…you and Chanyeol, huh?” Kyungsoo asks, almost hesitantly. 

“Hmm? Oh, yeah, him and me,” you say awkwardly. “He’s precious.”

“Precious, huh?” He murmurs. “You know how much I can’t stand him. I still don’t understand why you’re with him.”

“Well, I’m not technically with him,” you say. “We’re not an official couple. We just recently started hanging out more.”

“Still,” he mutters. “Ah, it doesn’t matter anyway. You see who you want to see. Just as long as they make you happy.”

On the inside, your heart feels heavy, but on the outside, you smile graciously at him. “Thanks, buddy. I think I will.”

Chanyeol comes leaping back to you and squeals as he takes your hand. “Holy shit those dogs were the cutest things I have ever seen in my life. They were so fluffy and soft and hyper and oh my god I love them.”

You giggle and hold his hand tighter. That does not go unnoticed by Kyungsoo and he looks away. “You’re adorable,” you say. 

Chanyeol grins down at you. “Awe, thanks love. You’re cute too.”

Another annoyed groan sounds from Kyungsoo. 

______________

About a week has passed since the awkward lunch with Kyungsoo. It’s Friday now, you and Chanyeol have met up at least ten times, each time consisting of Chanyeol insisting that his plan is working and Kyungsoo is totally jealous. 

“He literally refused to be in the same group as me when we went to a shoot!” He insists. “He typically just rolls his eyes and doesn’t argue, but this time he straight up refused. Didn’t even give a reason, just glared at me like he was plotting my murder.”

“Isn’t that what he usually does?”

“Yeah, but this time, he looked like he was really going into detail.”

It’s always the same thing. Him insisting that Kyungsoo is in love with you while you both share a chocolate muffin. It’s a change, but you still miss seeing Kyungsoo. You still see him of course, he comes over to yours every once in a while to watch some Ghibli films with you while eating take out, and you occasionally go over to his to get some cooking tips (he ends up cooking an entire meal for you, not that you’re complaining). It’s sweet, but the atmosphere feels different. A bit strained, contained in a way, like he’s not telling you something. Maybe he got a girlfriend? No, he probably would have told you that big of a detail. 

Chanyeol decides to bring you out to some fancy restaurant in order to fuel his plan. It’s this beautifully built, gorgeous restaurant that has like four dollar signs on Yelp or something. You really don’t know the purpose of going there (you also realize that you tend to not understand half of what’s going on anymore) but you decide to treat yourself to dressing up and going out with a good friend. So you agree. Chanyeol is ecstatic when you let him know and immediately asks what colour your dress will be so he can match his tie. You just give him a “I’m-so-done-with-you” look and move on. He only laughs. 

You’ve told Kyungsoo about the “date” with Chanyeol, and he insists to come over before you go so he can help you get ready. Reluctantly, you agree and he arrives about ten minutes later with some muffins. 

“I made muffins to send to my mom, but I made too many,” he says, holding them out to you. “So I decided I could give the rest to you.”

You hope you’re not blushing as you take the delicious smelling muffins and grin up at him. “Bless you, Soo, bless you.”

A heart-shaped smile grows over his face. 

He sits on your bed as you search through your closet for a dress appropriate for the occasion. You don’t really have a lot of choices, but you manage to narrow down your options to two of the nice dresses you have out of the three. 

“So…” Kyungsoo awkwardly begins. “Fancy date with Chanyeol…tonight. Where’s he taking you?”

You shrug and hold the two dresses up to him. “Some fancy place by the name of Danielle, I think. Red or black?”

“Black,” he says, looking at the two, and sighs. “I still think my cooking is better, just saying.”

You giggle. “I know, Soo, I know. Your cooking is the best I’ve yet to have. I doubt that this five star restaurant can top your marinated beef with asparagus.”

Kyungsoo grins triumphantly and you shoot a grin back at him before going into the bathroom to change. 

The dress is an off the shoulder number with flowing sleeves, kind of like medieval style, that goes down to your mid thigh. It’s a bit tight, hugging everything quite nicely, actually. You never really took a good look at it before now, but now that you’re actually looking at it on yourself in the mirror, you like what you see. You take a deep breath before going out of the bathroom to show Kyungsoo. 

“So? How does it look?” 

He turns around from looking at the photos on your wall and his mouth slightly drops open. You can feel your face turning red again. 

“Its…definitely on you,” he says. 

You roll your eyes. “Really, Soo, does it look okay?”

He hesitates before answering. “Yes, you look absolutely stunning.”

You nod and give him a gracious smile before getting a dark red choker to wear and your heels. You’d much rather be doing so much at this moment. You’d prefer to be helping Kyungsoo make something for dinner in your pajamas before settling down to watch a rerun of a drama. But if Chanyeol is going to literally go to such extreme lengths to get Kyungsoo to “confess” or whatever, you might as well go along with it. It’s kind of fun, you can’t lie, and hanging out with Chanyeol is always entertaining. 

You slip your heals on and lace the choker around your neck. Your hair has already been curled and pinned half up half down. It’s a nice look, you decide, and check the time. 7:26. Chanyeol should be here any minute to pick you up. You look over at Kyungsoo. He’s still looking at your pictures, and his eyes seem like they’re glued to this on photo of you and him. 

That photo was always your favourite. You two had gone to Jeju island that day, with Kyungsoo’s friend Jongdae. Jongdae had taken a candid picture of you two laughing at something a seagull had done. Kyungsoo had his arm slung around your shoulder, and you were smiling up at him, mid laugh. Just seeing that picture made you feel all warm and happy. Even before you realized your feelings, that picture always made you feel like that. Safe, warm, and a bit nostalgic of the past. 

You come up behind Kyungsoo and open your mouth to say something, but your phone buzzes, and you know that it’s probably Chanyeol telling you he’s here. Kyungsoo sighs, as though he knows what that buzz means too and tears his eyes away from the picture to look at you. 

You pick up your phone and grab your wallet, before confirming that yes, Chanyeol is here to pick you up. You both make your way to your door to grab your coat in case it gets cold tonight. Turning to face Kyungsoo, you open your mouth to say something, but he beats you to it.

“Make sure he treats you right,” Kyungsoo says, almost sadly. He looks a bit defeated and tired, now that you’re really looking at him. He seems like he hasn’t been getting enough sleep lately and just looks really down. Your heart feels compressed in your chest at the thought of him not feeling well lately. All you want to do is get him into bed, nice and warmly bundled up and make him some soup and tea. But you know at this time, you can’t do that. Chanyeol is waiting downstairs. So instead, you smile at him, feeling somewhat empty that you aren’t going to the restaurant with Kyungsoo. 

“I will,” you say, putting a hand on his shoulder and nodding. “I’ll report it all to you tomorrow, okay?”

He nods, and opens the door for you. “Have fun, love.”

You nod in acknowledgement and smile again. “See you later, Soo.”

And with that you exit your apartment, feeling forlorn at ever being able to love Kyungsoo. 

___________

Kyungsoo watches from your doorway as you leave, his heart feeling heavy in his chest. Unlike you, who realized how you felt only about a week ago, Kyungsoo here has been keeping everything hidden and suppressed inside of him for about two and a half years. It hurt to see you with someone else, especially if that person was Chanyeol. He was always a bit jealous of Chanyeol. Who wouldn’t be? Chanyeol is tall, obviously attractive, with a charismatic personality and multi-talented. He’s everything Kyungsoo thinks he’s not. And now, he has you. 

He sighs and steps out of your apartment, closing the door behind him. He feels as though he’s officially lost you. He knows you’ll still be there, but only as a friend, and not as his partner for life. But that role has been taken by Chanyeol. 

Chanyeol. Why him? It still makes Kyungsoo angry (which might be spurred by the jealousy, but y’know) and he still doesn’t know why Chanyeol would ever go for you. Is he even really your type? You like cats, and Chanyeol likes dogs. There you go. Pure, scientific evidence why you two would be terrible together. It just wouldn’t work. Sure, Kyungsoo knows you also love dogs, but he knows for a fact that you’ve always wanted a cat. Kyungsoo groans. 

Why was he just sitting around and not trying to tell you how he feels? He knows all he’s done really is ask why you chose Chanyeol, but your responses were all vague and didn’t sound right to him. It all sounded like you were hiding something. Was Chanyeol somehow blackmailing you to go out with him? That bastard. 

He tries to think back to the restaurant you were going to. Danielle… sounds fancy, that’s for sure. He thinks he might as well go and check out this place for himself. He does, after all, have a cooking hobby, and checking out restaurants that are supposed to have good food is kind of part of that hobby. And what’s the harm in checking in on your date?

On the bus to the restaurant, Kyungsoo tries to convince himself that what he’s doing is totally normal. Best friends check in on each other’s dates all the time, right? It’s totally normal to not trust or like your best friend’s potential suitor, right? Completely normal to hate the idea of your best friend leaving you for someone else, right? Yeah, completely, 100% normal. 

The restaurant is certainly fancy, he admits when he gets there. It’s big, with about three stories. Tall windows line the edge of the building, giving passerby’s a perfect view directly into the elegant restaurant. And that’s exactly what it gives Kyungsoo. A perfect view of you and Chanyeol laughing together. 

He’s sat across from you, with your back to the window. You’re obviously laughing and having a nice time with Chanyeol as he cracks another joke. Kyungsoo’s heart starts cracking in his chest. So…so this is actually happening you’re actually with Chanyeol. He hates to admit it, you two make a beautiful couple. You’re both free-spirited and kind people. 

His heart officially shatters when he sees Chanyeol bring out a box, probably holding a ring or a necklace. He can’t watch it anymore. So he runs. He turns and runs away, not even knowing where his feet are taking him. He told himself he was just there to check out the cooking, but how could he even do that if you’re there with Chanyeol? Having a wonderful time, laughing and…and being in love. He was lying to himself. He didn’t go there to scope out the cooking. He went there to see if you were actually, truly serious. And after a week of thinking that it was impossible that you could ever consider Chanyeol as a potential suitor, he found himself wrong. That’s it. You and Chanyeol…that was actually happening. And Kyungsoo can’t do anything to ruin that. You’re happy with him. And if you’re happy, then he’s happy. 

Actually, no he’s not happy. He hates how he feels. Hating Chanyeol even more, feeling selfish for you, and despising himself even more. It sucks. 

He finds himself outside of your apartment with his phone out. He slides down the wall beside your door and pulls up Chanyeol’s number. The more he thought of you moving on, leaving Kyungsoo behind, marrying Chanyeol, having four children, with three dogs and living in the suburbs, far from Kyungsoo, the more angry he got. Chanyeol didn’t deserve you. You were too good for him, too pure. Chanyeol would never deserve you. 

In a spur of anger, Kyungsoo texts Chanyeol. 

Get your ass to work. There’s a problem with the photos and apparently you’re the only one who can fix them. And yes, they even called me in. Not my fault. 

Kyungsoo reads what he sent over and over again. A few seconds later, it was read. Fuck. Oh he fucked up. He totally fucked up. He ruined your date. All because of his damn conflicting feelings. Fuck. He knew he ruined your nice date. He ruined it he ruined it. You’re going to hate him now. Fuck, you’re going to totally hate him once you learn that the text was a lie. 

He groans and starts hitting his head on the wall. Oh, he totally fucked up. 

___________

Chanyeol’s phone buzzes and he looks at it. Then laughs. 

“What is it?” you ask, spearing a mushroom on your fork. 

He laughs again. “Our poor Kyungsoo just texted me, saying there was an emergency with the photos at work. He told me to ‘get my ass to work.’”

“Well then?” You inquire. “Aren’t you gonna go?”

Chanyeol looks at you. “Honey, there is most certainly no emergency at work. We had already submitted the pictures today, I think. Kyungsoo’s just being a little jealous shit, that’s all.”

You roll your eyes. “Sure, buddy. I still think you should go just in case, though. What if he wasn’t kidding?”

“I’m fairly certain he just wants to get me away from you,” Chanyeol says. “But if you insist, I’ll actually go check. Do you need a ride back?”

“Nah,” you say, signaling for the check. “I think I’m good.”

“You sure?” He asks. “I thought it was supposed to rain tonight.”

“I think I can get home in time, before it starts pouring.”

Chanyeol shrugs. “Or, you could just call your prince charming and get him-”

“I can get home in time, Chanyeol,” you insist as the check arrives and you thank the waiter. “I’ll be fine. Just go.”

“Okay, fine,” he says and takes out his credit card. “But just saying this dinner’s on me.”

“Fine by me, bud.”

Chanyeol leaves after he gets his card back, saying something like, “Go get ‘em tiger,” or something cliche like that. You decide to finish your pasta before leaving. They make some damn good pasta here, so of course you’re going to finish every last bit of it. It’s got pesto that you love with sautéed mushrooms and grilled chicken. Damn, it’s some good stuff. Seriously. 

By the time you finish, you come to the conclusion that you were wrong. It is raining outside. And it seems like it’s raining hard. You groan in frustration. Of course it’s raining. You had thought that it would at least wait until you got home, but nope. Rain waits for no one. 

You end up taking a cab home, not wanting to go onto a bus in such fancy attire. Regardless, as you get out of the taxi, you get quite soaked, even in the few seconds that you’re outside. Your dress is quite soaked, and with the slight breeze and chill air conditioner inside, you’re getting cold quickly, so you try to make it to your apartment before you catch hypothermia or something. 

The elevator ride is awkward, especially when a businessman walks into the elevator with you, making you feel quite awkward with your soaking wet self and his tailored suit. When you get to your floor, you quickly exit the elevator and take off your heals to jog to your door. 

What’s sitting outside of your door though, that’s what surprises you. Kyungsoo is sitting outside your apartment, knees tucked up to his chest and his head resting on his arms on his knees. He looks like he’s been sleeping as you approach him, his eyes opening slightly too look at you. Immediately, he jumps up and swallows, blinking the sleep from his eyes. 

“You-you’re back,” he says, shaking his head to help wake him up. 

“I thought there was a problem at work?” you ask, moving around him to open your door. 

“You’re soaking wet!”

You glare at him as he follows you into your apartment. “Thanks for stating the obvious, buddy. But what about the emergency at work?”

His face turns red. “Well, that-that was not technically a–”

You spin around to look at him. “Are you telling me that I got soaking wet because there wasn’t actually an emergency? Come on, Kyungsoo. I was having a great time with him, why would you–”

“Because I want you to be having a great time with me, not him!”

Your heart stops. “Soo, I do have a great time with you, all the time, whenever I’m with you.”

“Then why are you with him then? Huh? If you’re always spending your time with him, how are you sure that you have a great time with me?”

You hesitate before responding. “Because Chanyeol likes me romantically not just platonically! I’m tired to being single! I actually want to date someone now, and Chanyeol is–”

“I want to date you too!” Kyungsoo exclaims. Your brain officially stops working. You open your mouth to respond but he beats you to it. “I want to date you. I want to be there for you. I want to be the one who you want to spend all your time with. I want to be able to hold you, and kiss you. I can love you romantically, I do love you romantically. I love you in every way possible, okay? I just want to be that person for you! I can be that person for you, so why are you with him? Tell me why please!” He looks serious. 

You can only stare at him, mouth gaping. “Are you–”

Kyungsoo groans in frustration, running his hands through his hair. “I just fucked everything up, didn’t I? Fuck, I’m so sorry. You’ll probably never want to see me again. God, I’m so sorry (Y/N). Please just forget I said anything. I’m so so sorry. I’ll leave now.”

“Don’t you fucking move, Do Kyungsoo.” Your voice is firm and he freezes. He’s already turned around away from you. There is no way in hell you’d ever think that he would be standing in front of you, telling you the words you thought were impossible. Obviously, you were wrong. He’s there, and he’s telling you those words. 

“You love me?” you ask tentatively. “Like you actually, really love me?”

Kyungsoo takes a deep breath before answering, still not facing you. “I do.”

A giant grin comes over your face, and you leap onto his back, kissing his cheek. He yelps in surprise, grabbing at your arms on instinct. You wrap your legs around his waist and hug him like a koala. 

“You’re fucking stupid,” you say. “I love you too, penguin-man. I love everything about you. I fucking love your cooking, and the fact that you have penguin boxers. I love how you make sure I’m okay when I’m sick and I love how you make sure I remember to eat. I just really fucking love you, okay?”

Kyungsoo laughs happily, turning his head to try to look at you. “Are you serious?”

“Yes, I’m fucking serious, Soo!”

He stares into your eyes, his sparkling ones looking deep into your own. “Can I kiss you?”

You nod excitedly. Kyungsoo swoops in, placing a soft kiss on your lips before pulling away. He grins and you jump off of his back so he can kiss you again, properly this time. 

“I can still kiss you right,” he says, pulling you close to him and wrapping his arms around your waist. 

“Yes, yes you can,” you say grinning, pulling him down for another kiss. 

A/N: So that’s that! I hope it was good, please let me know! I really want to know if it’s good or not. I literally spent like a week writing this thing, so that’s why it’s so long. Thanks for reading it, and please let me know what you guys think! I’ll try to write more often now, okay? Have a lovely day! 

-Sadie :)

Studio Ghibli & Mr. Miyazaki starters

- suggested by Anonymous and pulled from various films/sources

  • “You cannot alter your fate. However, you can rise to meet it”
  • “A heart’s a heavy burden”
  • “I’ve got something I want to protect - it’s you”
  • “I think we ought to live happily ever after”
  • “Once you’ve met someone, you never really forget them. It just takes a while for your memories to return”
  • “It will protect you. It’s made from the threads your friends wove together”
  • “Nothing that happens is ever forgotten, even if you can’t remember it”
  • “We need to find our own inspiration. Sometimes, it’s not easy”
  • “I make friends, then suddenly I can’t bear to be with any of them”
  • “Here’s another curse: may all your bacon burn!”

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Book of Mormon Fanfiction Recommendations (Mostly McPriceley)

 These are my favorite Book of Mormon fanfictions. These are mostly McPriceley because most more than half of the fanfictions that the Book of Mormon archive has is McPriceley. This is a much bigger list than my other one. Extras at the end and if I find more in the future, check the notes.

Bold and italicized are my favorites.

I do not own any of these.

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jeonkookiex  asked:

hello !! i'm here to confess my love for you and also request a ravi au !! i need inspiration for something and i've been thinking of using ravi for it bc he is a beautiful man so if you could write me a little something w him being idk a werewolf or a vampire or a warlock or idk anything mystical ?? i love you ???

hi yes i can please take this werewolf!ravi au

  • if there’s one thing that is really great about being a werewolf, it’s body temperature 
  • ravi literally nEVER gets cold, and the people who hug him or stand next to him can feel the heat radiating off of him. he’s like a big warm blanket
  • this is incredibly useful in the winter,,,,,,but when summer comes around - it,,,,it’s dreadful
  • because ravi, at any given moment, feels like he’s wearing too much in his human form and when he transforms all his fur is just like a big big winter coat
  • so what he usually does is finds some big supermarket with the ac on blast to loiter in to cool off and you,,,,,,,you work the freezer aisle so you see ravi like everyday
  • like,,,,,,,,every.day. of the summer 
  • and you’re not sure if he really just keeps buying those microwavable dinners or something,,,but you don’t mind because he’s tall, cute, and his tank top is cut in all the right places that even in the cold store - you still can’t help but blush
  • and one day,,,ravi notices you,,,stacking boxes onto the top shelf of one of the freezers
  • and he sees you struggling just a bit to reach so he goes over,,,,and asks if you need help
  • shocked,,,,,because customers almost never offer to help workers,,,,you stammer out that it’s fine it’s nothing
  • and as you reach for the next box, so does ravi, and upon touching him ravi realizes - your hands,,,,,,,,they’re cold
  • “sorry! they’re always kind of cold, even when im outside !! it’s just ,,, it’s just something my body does”
  • you laugh it off awkwardly, hoping he doesn’t think you’re a vampire or something
  • but ravi,,,,,,ravi just looks at you and reaches out again,,,taking your hand in his and bringing it up to his face
  • and you’re like ?@?@??? is???? is everything ok
  • and he’s like “your cold hands,,,,they feel nice,,,,,,”
  • you feel your cheeks heat up and you don’t notice that ravi’s own skin is unusually warm for someone who stands in the freezer aisle for an hour but you’re like ah,,,,,i ,,, mean,,,,thank you?!?!
  • ravi keeps your hand there for a bit till he lets you go and gives you an embarrassed apology but you tell him it’s fine - you just - people usually don’t like you touching them because you’re cold
  • but ravi shakes his head and he’s like “believe me, i like it.”
  • this continues throughout the summer,,,,when ravi sees you he keeps asking if you can touch his face or hold his hand and he always seems to be so embarrassed by asking 
  • but at the same time,,,,,,,he’s so sweet you can’t say no?????
  • but also like what does this mean- are you his human icepack??? what is going on
  • and only when the season change back into chilly fall and the heating still hasn’t kicked in at the store ravi shows up and for the first time you’re the one needing him
  • “you’re always so warm,,,,can you just,,,,hold my face for a second”
  • ravi blushes but reaches out and ,,,,,,, as expected his hands are a perfect toasty temperature
  • and you’re like “ah,,,thank you - how are you always so warm?”
  • “im a werewolf”
  • your eyes widen and you’re like “wh-what”
  • ravi laughs and he’s like “im not joking,,,,,im a werewolf.”
  • he smiles again and you notice the sharp teeth, the way his brown eyes flicker into yellow around the pupils
  • and you’re like holy shit- no way
  • ravi shrugs and is like “wait let me just-” he shakes his head a bit and when he stops two large ears poke out from his hair, his sideburns getting a little longer and nails on his hand growing
  • you stand there in the freezer aisle - shocked - and he shrugs a little and is like “werewolves all have high body temperature which is why i came here so much in the summer.”
  • you blink  and then go “oh, here i thought you were coming for me,,,,,,”
  • you giggle and say it’s just a joke but ravi scratches behind his neck and goes “well,,,,,,,that was part of it too,,,,,,,”
  • but then he shakes his head again, returning to his human form completely and going “but who’d like a werewolf - right?”
  • you look back and forth and you’re like “uh, me. i like a werewolf. especially since you’re so warm and winter is coming up.”
  • ravi perks up,,,,mouth opening in happiness like a puppy and he’s like “r-really?”
  • and you’re like “yeah!! you can be my werewolf heat pack and ill be your,,,,,,human ice pack in the summer :-)”
  • ravi grins,,,,reaching out to take your hand again, the warm feeling rising from your fingers to your chest
  • “id like that,,,,,,,,,,,,wanna see my full form sometime?”
  • “is it cuddly”
  • “well,,,im basically a big dog so-”
  • “id love to.” 
Always Late

Originally posted by 5sospicturesque

A/N:This is so long but I had a lot of fun writing it. I’m thinking of doing a part 2, I’m not sure, I’ve got a few ideas. I’ve recently gotten back into Tom Odell, and his music has a recurring cameo lol, I also love Fake Plastic Trees, it’s one of my favourite songs.

Words:13441

Summary: (Y/N) is a music fanatic, she’s grown up with music all around her, mainly because of her dad being a music producer. When her dad forgets some things, (Y/N) has to drop them off at the studio, where she meets the 5SOS boys. As her dad and the boys work together more, they are invited over for dinner and a certain guitarist takes interest in (Y/N)


My fingers move at a rapid pace, causing one of my favourite sounds in the whole world. I’m about to get to the best part when all of a sudden I’m cut off and my guitar makes a pathetic sound.

I look up and find my mum standing by my amp. “Dude, why’d you cut me off?” I ask.

“As much as it sounded great, dad forgot his phone and his notebook, so could you drive down to the studio and give him his phone?” She requests. 

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anonymous asked:

In the wolf au, is Kirishima dating Denki, hanta, Mina, ect or is just kinda a wolf thing? Not that I mind either way I'm just super curious lol. Also it's so lovely, your work is so sweet.

Anon said: hello fran!! How are you? I hope you’re doing great!! sorry to bother you haha but I wanted to ask something!! So, in your wolf!kirishima comic it says that Denki’s pack and so is sero and mina, does that mean that they’re wolves shifters too?? And will we ever get to see them?? (also is there kamisero? Sorry my weak heart loves them yeet)

Ohohohohohohoho I’m glad you both asked about Kirishima’s pack cause boy do I have answers - okay first things first, Kirishima is only dating Bakugou and he’s the only wolf shifter in the pack (well, Mina is also a shifter, just not a wolf shifter)

In the AU pack dynamics are loosely based on how wolf packs work in the wild: in nature usually there’s an alpha couple (the “alpha male” and his mate) and the rest of the pack is made out of their pups! So by all means it’s just a family unit - once the pups are old enough to fend for themselves they leave the “pack” to form their own family - they’re social animals, so they need a pack to be happy and safe, and that reflects in the AU too. In this universe though it’s pretty normal for wolf shifters to date/marry non-shifters or shifters of other kinds, and when that happens the resulting kids might or might not have shifting abilities, which results in the process of forming a pack being a bit all over the place

In Kirishima’s case, he was born by two non-shifters who had shifter blood in them - as a wolf shifter his wolf side needed a pack to feel well (let’s say, other wolves to play with and learn from and so on) so as a kid he used to spend a lot of time with Fat and Amajiki (both wolf shifters!) who acted as a surrogate pack for the wolf in him - now he’s old enough to have his own pack tho! And while ideally that would mean he builds his own family with another wolf shifter, he ended up falling for Bakugou, who’s a non-shifter and a man, which means the family plan sorta went down the drain. His wolf still needs a pack to be happy tho, and that ended up meaning he latched onto Mina (a childhood friend) and Kaminari and Sero (Bakugou’s close friends) who by this point are as close to him as if they were actual family.

So in theory Kirishima’s wolf side sees the pack as himself and Bakugou as the alpha couple and Mina, Sero and Kaminari as the “pups” - practically though Kirishima’s human side has a perfect grasp on his wolf’s instincts, so all in all it ends up just being five pals loving each other like family, no power imbalance at all (…he does get clingy after his pack members spend time with people outside of the pack, but he doesn’t ever try to stop them from socializing outside of the group and cuddles and general close proximity are all he needs to make his wolf feel better!)

…as you can see, I spent more time on this AU than strictly necessary haha

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Things I learned during my PhD

1. The impostor syndrome is real (google it!) and can be quite crippling if you allow it to be. My first year in graduate school was rough. I was a bio major that took a handful of psych courses (and surprisingly, no neurobiology courses). This means that when I started the neuroscience intro course at NYU I was fascinated but clueless, which was evident in my first neuro grade. All of this resulted in me feeling like I wasn’t “good enough” to be studying neuroscience at NYU and that somehow they/I had made a mistake. Luckily, many of my friends were quick to point out that I was being ridiculous and laughed it off. That, coupled with the Dean’s support, made me snap out of my doubt and insecurity and take on a more proactive approach towards my education. This included tutoring, but hey, it worked! 1 year later I was cracking jokes with the Dean about my first year freak-outs LOL. 

2. You do not need to know everything. As a graduate student, whose job is to be trained as a scientist, you are expected to do not only a lot of reading, but also a lot of learning. During my first two years, I took all sorts of neuroscience courses and remember wondering how I was going to remember it all. Newsflash: you don’t. Your learning experience is not confined to those two years of formal coursework- it stretches throughout your entire PhD and continues even beyond that. In my experience, I found that many of the concepts that I had trouble understanding re-appeared throughout my PhD. Sometimes through talks, other times through journal clubs, and other times by doing literature searches. A beautiful thing about science and learning is that all the knowledge builds on top of each other, and even though it may not seem like it to you, you are retaining this information. Also, important information will likely be repeated throughout your PhD, thereby facilitating your retention of the material. Just remember, you are being trained on how to think, and you will learn many things along the way. 

3. Be thankful of constructive criticism and use it as an opportunity to grow. This one was hard. Receiving feedback (especially criticism) is difficult in general, but I find that it’s even harder when you’re in academia. I mean, you become invested in a project and/or research topic, and sometimes you’re wrong or don’t know what to do with a certain piece of data. Or you need an extra control. Or somebody doesn’t understand the clinical relevance of your project. Or like me, you have a thesis project that integrates multiple disciplines and is hard to think about because the findings are counterintuitive. Bottom line is: at some point you will receive criticism that either A) you haven’t thought about B) you don’t agree with or C) you don’t understand. One of the many things that my PhD mentor taught me is to be grateful when somebody outside the lab (or your field) makes a constructive comment about your work. As she put it, this is indicative that they are thinking critically about your project, which they do NOT have to do. Lesson learned: when someone gives you constructive criticism, listen, and kindly thank them for their feedback because they are helping you think about your work in a different way. 

4. Build and maintain a network. Talk to people! This includes graduate students, postdocs, professors, collaborators, bloggers and many other people you meet at conferences, etc… I know, small talk is sometimes awkward and uncomfortable, but be thankful that you all have a common denominator: an interest and passion for science! Use that to your advantage. Networking is essential for a number of reasons. First, it’s a great way to meet other academics that you have things in common with and may even result in collaboration. Second, you can use their experiences and advice to help your own academic training and development. Third, if you maintain that network, you get to see what kinds of things they go on to do. For me, this is incredibly inspiring and helps to keep me motivated despite whatever I may hear about the pains and perils of science. 

5. Patience is a virtue and good things come to those who wait. In science, things usually take longer that you think they will. While this may not be a surprise to fellow PhDs and other scientists, a lot of incoming graduate students don’t realize this and end up feeling disappointed when they don’t get that grant they applied for on the first round, their data is not ready for publication and/or their paper gets rejected multiple times (thus lengthening the time it takes to publish). Therefore, think of your PhD as a marathon, not a sprint. 

6. Write your papers as your experiments go along. Once you have a hypothesis and a preliminary approach, start drafting the paper. I know, it sounds crazy given that you don’t have any data yet, but it will help you have a clear rationale and organize the methods. For example, start off with a preliminary title and abstract, make a bullet list of points you want to cover in the introduction, insert the methods section and make a list of preliminary results (and how you would interpret them). This will help you start thinking about what your story could be and what it would look like. Also start building an EndNote library containing the references you know you already need or think might need. 

7. Make it a habit to read regularly. You’d be surprised at how easy (and fun) it can be. Follow neuroscience blogs, twitter accounts, attend a journal club, create a Scizzle, use Google scholar, friend people on ResearchGate, etc… Do whatever works, but try to read new papers every week. You can even have journals that you check every week/every month/etc… I, for example, look at J Neuro and NPP every week, Biological Psychiatry/Nature Neuroscience when there’s a new issue and such. 

8. Know your talk well. Once you have your committee’s approval to write/defend, start creating your talk. Normally, this will be a merger of previous committee meeting presentations or any other presentations you have given. Your goal is to tell your PhD story through your data in a clear and concise way. This means that it is up to you to fill in the knowledge gaps, ensure a smooth and logical transition from slide to slide, and connect the dots regarding the meaning of your work for the audience. Needless to say, this is much easier when you know exactly where each slide is and what slide is coming next. As one of my committee members said, this takes the stress out of being “surprised” by your own data and allows you to be more personable, as your personality is more likely to come through. 

9. Find a committee that is critical, yet supportive. Keep in mind that your thesis committee holds your fate in their hands. Thus, don’t make this decision lightly! Ideally, you want these people to be “fans”, meaning that they think you are bright, capable and are actually interested in helping you develop as a scientist. Try to schedule individual meetings with potential members BEFORE asking them to be a part of your committee. Tell them about your ideas and potential projects, see how they respond. Are they genuinely interested? Do they have good questions? Do your interests overlap with their research line? Furthermore, ask around! It is likely that someone else in your program (from upper years) has them in their committee. Find this person and ask what they’re like. 

10. Strive to become not only a better scientist, but also a better person :) As a former PhD student, I know that it feels like everything revolves around your PI, your project, all the work you have to do, etc… Although I personally believe that in order to do this job you need to lose yourself to it (to a certain extent), this doesn’t mean that you have to let yourself go and be consumed by it. The world is bigger than just academia, and you also need to grow as a person (and not just as a scientist). Find time to cultivate other interests, make new friends, rediscover yourself as you go along the PhD track. Your mental health will thank you for it. 

Disclaimer: All PhDs are not created equal. The points made above reflect my own personal PhD experience. I’ve always said that two people can even be in the same lab and same year and still have radically different experiences. Regardless, I hope everyone can find something that is useful to them :)

Distractions pt 3

Pt. 1 || Pt. 2 || Pt. 3 || Pt. 4 || Pt. 5 || Pt. 6  || Pt. 7 || Pt. 8 || Pt.9 || Pt. 10 || Pt. 11 || Pt. 12 || Pt. 13

Yoongi x Reader

Genre: Not really angst or fluff…I don’t really know

Summary: It was weird seeing him again. It was even weird knowing you’d be working with him, but you kinda had a feeling like it was going to be okay.

Word Count: 1721

Warning: like one use of the f-word…does this really require a warning?

Originally posted by bangtoori

“You wanted to see me?” 

“Ah, Yoongi. Yes, please take a seat.” Yoongi gladly accepted Bang PD’s offer and took a seat in front of his desk, “I wanted to talk to you about something. You see, I owe a friend a favor.”

Psh ‘favor’, Yoongi thought, Bang PD must’ve lost another bet again. He really should stop betting while he’s drunk.

“He needs help with something, and I think you’d be able to provide help.”

“What kind of help?”

“Well, you mentioned how wanted to try to produce for other artists. Since promotions are finished, and Bangtan isn’t working on another album yet, I thought I could give you an opportunity to help produce a song for another group.”

“Group? As in another idol group? Who…”

“You know 2S? The group under Music Box Entertainment?” Of course Yoongi knew, “They need help with a title track, and I offered to allow one of my producers to go do some sort of collaboration. So, how about it?”

Yoongi took in what Bang PD had to say. It was true, BTS wasn’t working on new music yet and he did want to try to produce for another artist. But he didn’t know how to feel about seeing…you. He knew this was a good opportunity to expand his credentials and gain more experience, but was it worth opening up a wound from years ago? 

Keep reading

So! I hit 1k followers (DAFUQ?!) & I figured, since I’m going to be leaving soon, that I should do a follow forever (because everyone does one at one point or another lmao) These are pretty self explanatory, so let’s just get to it before I die from this sriracha cabbage… 


Honorable Babes ♡

@apollonic {Sophie}

So you know I had to start this out with you, right? You are one of the most kind hearted, humble people I know. You have a diamond heart and I 100% mean this when I say there were some days I didn’t even want to get out of bed and you gave me the inspiration to take on the day. You already know how much you mean to me, even when we don’t talk for weeks or even when I suck at replying, I know I’ll always be somewhere in your heart, and you in mine. Thank you for being such a good friend. Oh, and by the way… your fashion is A1 and you make me feel like a total shrimp in comparison. I love it!

@archistratego {Eliot}

Heyyyy Eliot. ( / ; u;)/ ~♡ So I’ll try not to be a marshmallow for once and actually be serious. You and I have not known each other for long, but you’ve already become someone very important to me. I think we talk every day now? I know this because every day now I get this stupid smile on my face from your beaming optimism even when you yourself are feeling down. You are a knight if I’ve ever seen one, and are more talented than you will ever realize. Please be good to yourself; ily!

@auroremus {Bruna}

Girl.. ewe So you know… I had to get payback for that cuteness you displayed on your FF, right?? Can we all just take a moment to appreciate this cute being for a moment?? Okay. As you said, you and I don’t know eachother well, but you are honestly so fun to talk to. Some of the things you say has me cracking up, and I must say, thank you for putting up with my shitty communication skills. Also, your ambition is something I could only dream of acquiring. 

@dreadwvlf {Tallie}

Ahem.. I just want to say… Jimin is still  the ultimate bias wrecker. DON’T KILL ME!! Taeyang is great, BUT… dat Park Chimchim doe… (~e we)~ You and I hold the record for longest period of time talking about the same thing (…3 months..) OKAY, it might be because I’m retarded when it comes to responding on tumblr BUT, you were one of the first people I started talking to on here, and you love Kpop? Girl. GIRL. You are and forever will be my aegyo queen, and we shall bond over the untimely death of T.O.P’s wonderful hair (because you know they shaved that shit) 

@keries {Sierra}

My love, it goes without saying that you are the most important person to me. It’s kind of crazy. You’ve somehow found a way to enchant me, to pull my cold little heart out of it’s year long hiatus and now it can’t let go. You are perfection to me, and you make up for all my painfully obvious short comings. Every day I feel so lucky to have found you, and while I’m gone, you will be the first thing I think about in the mornings and the last thing I think about before bed. You are my wings as I am your anchor. Thank you for putting up with me. I love you. ♡♡

@opalynch {Ailen}

My little Maebear.. Do I even need to type this?? It’s so obvious that you are so so so so special to me. Like, I can’t even put it into words. I still to this day have no idea how we got talking, but it was one of the best decisions I’ve made on this tragic site. No one can take your place, and you have a permanent spot in my heart. You are so incredibly cute and ugh, such an angel. Where have you been all my life?!

@papakoscheis {Sara}

Sawa! (Okay I know what you’re thinking… can I NOT be a fucking marshmallow for one second?! The answer is.. no.) Okay so confession time. I kind of high-key stalked you for like a week before you followed me. I mean I’m going to act like I NEVER said that, but it’s the truth. Your whole existence is my aesthetic and you are so eclectic and unique, not to mention so damn smart. You’re going to go far in life and I’m going to ride those damn coat tails to victory!!! There’s nothing you can do to stop me! c:<

@tragicpatroclus {Daisy}

Okay… so… confession time again… You were the first person I ever talked to on this (still tragic) site. You are my first friend here! You took my tumblr virginity! I didn’t even get dinner out of the deal but hey, I’m… totally.. fine with that. Dates are overrated anyway.. >_> Seriously though.. where’s my dinner?! You are legitimately the smartest person I’ve met here. I’m not even kidding. You and I can seemingly talk about anything. I love it! Thank you so much for putting up with my shitty schedule and equally shitty social skills (I’m starting to see a trend here) you too have a place in my heart and I know you’ll soar like a wonderful eagle. Or Pegasus. I mean, your choice. c:

@virtuestars {Luna}

Last but not least! Okay so since I’m prone to going on and on and on, I’m going to try to sum this up in a paragraph. YOU ARE AMAZING! You and I met at a very trying time in my life, and talking to you really improved me. We can always procrastinate together and holy shit, I’m so excited for you to be studying abroad! We will totally have to go out and party sometime. I probably have to most in common with you out of anyone on this post and just knowing I can trust you with my thoughts, any of them, makes me feel so secure in our friendship and I hope and pray you feel the same. Love you!


❦ Loriat’s Follow Forever List

Legend: Babes | Mutuals | ⋆Inspos⋆

1 ~ C

@102runway @achielles ⋆@acuite⋆ @admlynch @alyxhathaway11 @apollonic@archistratego  @arrtemiss @arthoesunshine @asteriaria @astoryillnevertell @astrae @astraera  ⋆@astreay@astveria @asweetshame @auroremus @aurorras @banshy @bellatryks @benbornes @bilboh @bleeding-typewriters @bsargent @calliophes@calliophies@casimeres-lair @castielles @chaleurette @chovchang @cruciatuz @cuipid @czeornys

D ~ H

@dawnstvr @dementvr @divinetheta @dravvings @dreadwvlf @dreamthievves @drunklesbian @eclairer-le-ciel @eileenbahar-arts @emblazecl @english-idylls @eorumverba @exyjosten @ettheseus @eumycota @faeheys @fairydusts @featherumbrellas @firetomypride @fixyourwritinghabits @fleurdealcours@fleurrdelacour@fntstory @foxandstardust @frenchpoetry @fscottfitzgerld @game-of-quotes @gansaey @georgiableedscreativity@ginnys@halaltequila @hautescoutures @hayleylkiyoko @hckat @herhmione @herrmione @herxnstairs @histcries @huffelpuff@hynpos

I ~ N

⋆@ibuzoo⋆ ⋆@illuminosity@immobvlus@inkmagician@inksomniac @isabellasharp @jesprefahey@jilys@keries @ketterdvvm @khaleesee @kingscross @kinqstark @kknotted @kvnvki @lefleurette @lhzthepoet @liilyevans @lilyevians @literateure @lleotolstoy @longbottomed @looonyluna @lord-byronn @lostintales @lxcuna @lumosmaxima @lupins @meaningless–poetry @meetmeinadaydream @merflk @metanoiac @minjard @minrd @mjnyard @moody-nature @moongloss@moonrivier @narcsissa @nature-is-gorgeous @nehmesis@neptuneve @njmphadora   @nobunny88 @nubiferum

O ~ T

@ocxnus @oneihroi @okaymacaulay @okayodysseus @opalynch @opheliamayersv @orgaena @orlandcbloom @orros @oscarwiilde @othellos ⋆@oylmpians⋆ @paintedemons ⋆@papakoscheis⋆ @parisfashionhouse @patroiclus @pequicks ⋆@persrephone⋆ @petrichovr @pipedream@pltrch⋆ @poeets ⋆@pohroro⋆ @prcserpina ⋆@priveting⋆ @ptxd ⋆@pushkins⋆ @qiu-jin @quotes @quotethat @reveiling@rcbynn@rhaegals @rogvepilot @royaltea@rykesmeadow@sealands @simplyvibes @siriusblsck @sofhtie @softalina @softdegas@softfeyre@softheartedpoet @softmeliorns @softstained @starspvn ⋆@stormybisexual⋆ @stormxarie @storyexcerpts @suburbanmomjeans @svvackhamer ⋆@swansmonet⋆ @sxofcrows @tcrtarus @tedtonks @thcodorcnott @theclassicsreader @thehound @therepublicofletters @thewinedarksea @thewritershandbook @thewrittenmagic @thoughts-positivity @tidsource @tinselswan @tlnagoldsteln @tragicpatroclus @tranquilist @tresmoreau

U ~ Z

@ulyxxes @umfleur @unwrittenphrases @vanettineros@veinus@velvetcloak @velvetglrl@versaillcs@vesrailles @virtuestars @vivalcli @voldemxrt @voneverec @vvintervveiss @whereicarusfell @williamherxndale @wordsbydominic@written-in-pen@yalitsquad @zoyalina!

Thank you so much to everyone on this list for being my friends, my inspirations, and having such wonderful content for me to oogle at all day! I will miss you all so dearly.  ♥

Think Of Yourselves As Pearls

A bit of a warmup, a bit of a brainstorming session, a bit of a vent, and a bit of an experiment, perhaps, in writing Yellow and Blue Pearl, and an attempt at a take on them that might go a bit against the grain.

Warnings for discussions of objectification, slavery, and abuse - your standard Homeworld Is Horrible fare. ~1700 words.


As time passes, the terror of the renegade pearl shifts and mutes into something more like inconvenience and annoyance, or simple outrage at the impropriety of the ideas contained in the very concept. A burst of widespread panic and fear that once led to impressively high-ranking gems going embarrassingly pearlless for a previously unthinkably long while turns instead into a quiet resentment. One that only occasionally flares up, and only ever in private, between a pearl and her owner, the true root of it mostly (and mostly deliberately) forgotten, suppressed.

Pearl has seen it all happen, faithfully and obediently at her Diamond’s side. She isn’t sure she could say, if asked, which of it was better and which was worse.

(Lucky, then, that nobody would ever think of asking her about much of anything. Luckier still that even if the thought of bothering her occurred to someone, it would be expressly dismissed by Yellow Diamond’s mere magnificent presence.)

They won, after all. Thoroughly defeated the rebels - the conclusion a given from the very onset, really. The uppity pearl got what was coming to her, as did the dastardly Rose Quartz, as did every last tragically or disgustingly misguided Gem in their entourage, as did their backwater planet. What better way to prove who was in the right and who was in the wrong?

And with enough time, a horror story becomes little more than a cautionary tale.

Keep reading

Inside Choices is a behind-the-scenes blog from the Pixelberry team!

With Choices nearing its one year anniversary, The Crown & The Flame trilogy has come to an end. It’s been an epic year-long journey for Kenna, Dom, and the rest of their ragtag crew. As one of the first books to launch with Choices, the team behind TC&TF started work on it long before August. Months later, saying farewell to one of our first series feels like saying good-bye to an old friend.

The team has weathered marathon brainstorms and late-night writing sessions, and celebrated epic plot twists and awesome character art. With the final chapter in the rearview mirror, the writers of TC&TF took the time to reflect and reminisce…

The Crown & The Flame trilogy is over, and it’s been quite the journey. How do you feel?

Kathleen: Super weird. It kinda feels like graduating from college, actually. Like, you’ve been immersed in this cool new world for so long and surrounded by these people you’ve grown to love (even though Val’s always stealing your food and Dom wants to party all the time instead of doing homework), and you get so attached that you kind of forget there’s a world outside. Now graduation is looming and half of me is like “oh thank goodness” but the other half is going “WAIT, NO, I LIKE IT HERE, AAAAA”.

Eric: So many feelings! Sad because I’ve dedicated so many hours to TC&TF, and it’s like saying goodbye to close friends. Happy because we were fortunate enough to get to create this whole world from scratch! Proud because I feel we’ve brought the series to a satisfying conclusion. And of course grateful for the fans, whose passion for it made Books 2 and 3 a reality.

Since we’re at the end, why not talk about beginnings? How did TC&TF first come about? What were the early days like?

Kathleen: Lot of brainstorming, LOT of revisions. The first story that we outlined was much more focused on courtly intrigue, less so on the action. It looked totally different from the version of TC&TF that exists today, but there are a few relics from that first version that we kept because we loved them so much. For instance, Sei Rhuka was one of the first characters we created for that earlier story, and she survived the move to TC&TF pretty much unchanged (because what would you change? She’s perfect).

There were some late nights, and times when I definitely thought I was gonna crack under the stress. Fortunately I had Eric and Kara, two heroes of legend, fighting by my side.

Kara: The first draft of TC&TF was written under so much pressure and at such a frantic pace that it was nothing like the book that ended up being released. To give you an example of how much things change, Val Greaves, everyone’s favorite mercenary, was originally a male character just named Mercenary. Kathleen had the idea of making her a woman, and then the character of Val really started to emerge as the snarky, mean voice that the cast was currently lacking.

Another thing that came about because of that time was just the incredible trust between the writers. On most products, there’s a more formal process of logging changes, but because we were so short on time, we were just actively editing each other’s work, and I think we managed to get through that without killing each other, so it really says a lot about how well we work together! Sometimes you write your first draft and you don’t realize how much better it can be until you take a step back. I wrote a scene once where Dom is carrying a sack of flour down the castle hallway, and I thought, this is boring, I’ll add in a choice. Oh, I’ll give the choice a timer! Then I realized I’d just made a minigame about carrying a sack of flour. So I cut the whole thing. But sometimes it isn’t until you write the scene that you realized you’re going down a bad or boring path. The early days were a lot of that.

We rewrote a lot of things together, but it was such a privilege to work with Kathleen and Eric on creating this world. It was amazing when we reached a point where we’d revised and revised and revised and finally felt like we’d burned away everything that was boring or not working and all that was left was even stronger than it had been before.

Eric: Hectic! It’s one thing to write a book now, knowing what Choices looks like, but back then we were writing with placeholder art (everyone was Queen Adriana!) and we just had no idea what was going to work and what wasn’t.

Also, I echo everything Kara said above about trust. So many times I wrote a thing and thought, “Oh gods, I’m a fraud! I’m a terrible writer!” and then had either Kara or Kathleen or Jessica swoop in and turn my garbage into gold. Having the safety net of a great team makes standing on the tightrope a lot more fun.

Strong world building is crucial to any good fantasy story. That ranges from history and culture to what you yell when you stub your toe. What was the worldbuilding process like for the Five Kingdoms?

Kathleen: You start super general (place names, general time period/level of tech, climate), then build your details on top of that. Every detail comes from somewhere, everything is the way it is for a reason. In those early stages it helped us to give each of the kingdoms a “thing” that they’re known for. For Fydoria, it’s knowledge and art, for Thorngate, it’s trees and archery, for Lykos, it’s jerks and backstabbers, lol.

That gave you a jumping off point for what these people would be like, and how they relate to the other kingdoms. We were also very deliberate about what colors and styles of clothing the different kingdoms would wear, which I was really into. It’s great to look at a character and immediately know whose team they’re on (or whose team they want you to think they’re on…)

Then you take your pages and pages of notes to the artists, and they do some kind of beautiful magic that turns your dreams into something real you can look at. We work with some AMAZING artists. I have the Aurelian castle set as my computer’s wallpaper because I like to stare at it all day.

Eric: Ditto what Kathleen said. The incredible art helps tremendously with this process. Sometimes we’d get a piece of art back and it’d be SOOOOO good that it’d inspire us to go in a new direction. That kind of moment (like with Val) is really special.

What did you consider the most challenging part of writing TC&TF?

Kathleen: Not making every chapter 5,000 lines long, haha. I have issues with writing these super long, flowery dialogues, but thankfully Eric is there to keep me in check. It can also be hard to find a character’s voice sometimes, especially if you and that character don’t have a lot in common.

Eric: Keeping Kathleen in check. HA! Seriously, though, we had a HUUUUGE cast, and all of the characters have compelling backstories and fun voices and fans on social media. Trying to make sure everyone got ample screentime (while still telling a good story) was tough.  

Going off of that, what were your favorite scenes to write in TC&TF? (Spoiler alert!)

Kathleen: Oh man. I’m a mean person who loves writing the super intense emotional climaxes where everyone is crying and screaming at each other. So basically the whole Whitlock/Hex arc. One of my favorite writing moments though was when I was working on that kraken scene in book 2 and I had to turn to my boyfriend and say “Hey, what sound does a kraken make?” Boyfriend: “<kraken sound>” Me: “Yeah… but like, how do you spell that?”

Kara: My favorite scene to write was a dream sequence where Kenna and Dom get married, because I got to jump around in different scenarios and it felt a lot like fan fiction in the best way. But my second favorite was when Val has to pretend to be a handmaiden for Zenobia Nevrakis. I loved the idea of getting to see from Val’s point of view as she has to infiltrate this girly world of gowns and bodices. She’s usually a character who’s seen it all and can handle anything, so it was fun to get her out of her element for once.

Brandon: I had a major blast with the entire final battle, but I have a special place in my heart for the scene between Luther and Kenna in Chapter 13. I love when you get to shine the spotlight on a bad guy, in a way that makes you almost sympathize with them…but not quite.

Eric: By far, the action scene where Dom turns into a dragon for the first time. I was actually writing from my apartment, and I was like, “If I turned into a dragon, what would be the most fun, badass things I could do?” (Cut to me flapping my arms through the air as I run around my apartment breathing imaginary fire on unsuspecting Nevrakis boats…) It was silly, but I did get some good stuff outta that.

TC&TF is filled with so many different villains, heroes, and everyone in between. Who was your favorite character to write?

Kathleen: I have a soft spot for terse warrior types who just have no time for your nonsense, so writing Sei is always super fun. She behaves the way we all sort of wish we could, except she can get away with it because she’s crazy strong and can light you on fire with her mind.

Brandon: Oof, tough choice. I think we all have a lot of fun writing Val (because who doesn’t love that character who gives the bad guy the finger?). Personally, though, my favorites to write have been the Nevrakis, specifically Luther and Zenobia. Zenobia is just so annoyed and out of place most of the time, which is fun to play with. She’s like, “Ugghhh, dragons? Really? Whatever.” It’s like she stepped in off the set of Mean Girls. And Luther is just such a fun jerk. He’s got sort of a cynical wisdom, but also has zero self-awareness and is totally unapologetic for any of the ruthless stuff he’s done. That is a character I really love to hate.

Eric: Severin. I felt like his art asset was really imposing, and his character represented this first challenge for Kenna on this impossible path. It was fun to make him this physical, monosyllabic, gruff presence that couldn’t be reasoned with. She’d have to eventually fight him in combat to prove herself. Plus, he’s kinda dumb, and I love writing dumb characters. Alas, no one seems to care much for Severin…

In a way, TC&TF lives on in The Royal Romance. Olivia in TRR is a descendant of Zenobia, for one thing. If Kenna and Dom and the rest of the crew were around now in present day Cordonia, what do you think they’d be like?

Kathleen: Kenna is super responsible and runs her Kingdom like a proper adult, but when she gets frustrated with politics she dreams of running away to tour with Val and Sei’s metal band (Damsels of Destruction). Kailani just won like, 12 olympic medals for weightlifting and martial arts. During the off season she and Noa split their time between running a gym and touring with Cirque du Soleil. Whitlock runs one of those tech companies that does supersonic maglev trains and smart dishwashers and stuff. He’s totally gonna colonize Mars. This is fun, I wanna do this all day!

To write fantasy, you had to know the fantasy genre pretty well. What makes the fantasy genre special to you? And what are some of your favorite books?

Kathleen: I was raised on a diet of Grimm fairy tales and Greek legends (which probably explains a lot about me). I love the fantasy genre because you take these wild, magical worlds that look completely different from anything we know, and use them to explore themes that are really close to home (coming of age, sacrifice, family, etc). Fantasy is a dramatic metaphor for real life. Because I’m a huge nerd, I dig fantasy books that have logical, internally-consistent magic systems. Sabriel by Garth Nix is hands down my favorite book, but the Enchanted Forest Chronicles by Patricia Wrede was the first series I got super into. Arglefraster!

Eric: When I was little, I wanted to play Dungeons & Dragons with the older kids in my neighborhood, but they wouldn’t let me play. That led me to this one book (I don’t remember the name) that was basically like single-player D&D. It had a page where you kept track of your hit points, potions, etc. It was incredibly nerdy, but also the awesomest book I’d ever experienced. Little did I know it was paving the way for my career.

Pixelberry was the first place where I really felt comfortable letting my inner nerd loose. I finally got to not only play D&D (we ran a campaign after hours), but to write something within a similar world…

What’s next for The Crown & The Flame team? Can you give us a hint about what you’ll be working on after this?

Kathleen: *Evil cackling, hands rubbing together in glee* Ahem. I don’t want to give anything away, but I will say that I seem to have been typecast as a genre writer and I am 100% okay with this.

Eric: No hints. We’re definitely not planning something for Halloween.

Ooh, intriguing… To all the fans of The Crown & The Flame, thank you for coming with us on this epic journey! Check back every week for more Choices adventures!

-Jessica