still not married

Some Hilarious AUs From the Last Several Months of This Blog: A Summary

Scandalore: aka the “Obi-Wan Was Secretly Married Before It Was Cool” AU

  • Obi-Wan and Satine got hitched in secret right before Qui-Gon died
  • Obi-Wan stays in the Order to raise Anakin and keeps his marriage under wraps
  • Obi-Wan and Satine also have a kid 
  • Anakin and Padme still get married 
  • Anakin thinks Obi-Wan’s going to out them to the council, Obi-Wan reveals his secret marriage instead
  • The Order decides to let them both stay 
  • Yoda and Mace are both Very Tired
  • Ahsoka babysits the twins and teaches Obi-Wan’s son to fight crime 
  • Obi-Wan gets a lot of shit from the Jedi for being a Duke
  • Anakin collects Duke of Mandalore memorabilia 
  • Lots of double-dating and group vacations 
  • Everyone is happy and Palpatine probably steps on a Lego and dies or something 
  • Yoda possibly retires out of sheer exhaustion when he finds out that Anakin has TWINS (Luke finds him on Dagobah anyways)

Accidental Pirate Obi-Wan: aka the “What We Thought Would Be a Good Kenobi Movie” AU

  • Obi-Wan can’t stop himself from fighting crime while in hiding on Tatooine 
  • He ends up starting a crew of do-gooders who overthrow the Hutts and then proceeds to traipse across the galaxy helping people in need, breaking hearts and sticking it to the Empire
  • He is maybe also a Duke and married to Satine in this one too
  • He is constantly foiling Darth Vader’s plans, and also hitting on him (and he is totally into it because obvs)
  • Ahsoka is an awesome pirate and Obi-Wan’s main sidekick
  • Rex is there and kicks ass 
  • Luke is the tiniest, sassiest crew member
  • Hondo is loving Obi-Wan’s pirate years so much 
  • Obi-Wan sings a lot of pirate songs and once impersonated a vicar
  • Someone gave Obi-Wan ownership of a moon at some point
  • AU of this AU: Anakin was raised by Sidious/never maimed by Obi-Wan and so when he reveals his unmasked self to his nemesis Pirate Kenobi, Kenobi almost passes out

Anakin Skywalker: Needy Boyfriend, aka “the Plausibly Canon AU”

  • Anakin is totally helpless and constantly asking Obi-Wan to open his juice boxes for him or kill bugs for him 
  • Padme is either annoyed by all of this OR is also totally sucked in by it because she knows Anakin requires a 1200-thread-count minimum for his sheets
  • Anakin texts Obi-Wan approximately 7000 times a day 
  • Obi-Wan is bad at romance and gives Anakin socks for Valentine’s Day 
  • Anakin is always claiming he’s going to die if someone doesn’t bring him ice cream soon 
  • There’s an offshoot of this AU where their Force Ghosts throw an extremely over-the-top wedding and Anakin is a total Bridezilla and I almost forgot about this and I’m dying now because @darthluminescent and I seriously spent WAY too much time talking about it

Anakin Skywalker: Active Impediment to Gardening, aka “The Obikin/Virgin Territory AU @albaparthenicevelut and I just made up this morning”

  • The boys are gardeners
  • Anakin is bad at his job but no one cares because Handsome and also because he’s sleeping his way through the convent they work at 
  • Obi-Wan is super into Anakin but pretending he’s not, as usual
  • Flower crowns are worn, bouquets are given 
  • Quinlan Vos is the best and worst matchmaker
  • Lots of terrible gardening puns/innuendo, probably almost all coming from Anakin because the boy loves a good pun and is not super great at flirting 
5

just imagine…
the moment Lance learns how to unlock his bayard  :’)

slightly older Lance with different guns like, Pistols? Long Sniper rifle? pow pow 
Lance would ACE bc he is a fantastic sharpshooter.

6

“be good to her…”

Even if you called 6 months later at 3 am, I’d still answer; I’ll always care.
—  Unknown

Did Lily ever find out James scribbled her initials in his exam papers? Did the marauders tell her? Did she use this against him for the rest of their life? I hope so.