I came out as agender a while ago but I'm thinking that maybe I'm actually a trans man. Exploring this possibility seems scary because there's a girl I love who identifies as gay and I'm not sure there'd be a chance she'd date me if I came out as a trans guy instead of agender. That sounds kind of silly. I've also been identifying as gay, I like girls, while identifying as Agender but I'd be straight if I was a trans man and I feel like I'd lose something. Any advice you could give me? Thanks!
I know it seems daunting to explore your identity, especially with other things at stake, but I think it would still be a good idea. If it reassures you, you still don’t know if you’re a trans man or not. I really think, however, that it’s far better to be true to yourself than be someone you’re possibly not to please another person (and if you identify as a man and knowingly date a lesbian, that’s not the most morally sound decision.)
I suggest trying out the new identity in a different space, for example online or in a separate social setting. If you end up being straight, that’s not the worst thing!! While you might no longer fit in with ‘gay culture,’ you’re still very much lgbt!! You would still be able to participate in community specific spaces.