still miss my laptop

Merry Christmas

I want you to know that I am most definitely over you. I am so over us. I go about my day without you and I am completely fine. Always.

Except…sometimes.

Because sometimes I’m sitting with my friends at lunch, and there is no reason to think of you, but I do. Sometimes I accidentally mention your name in our conversations.

Sometimes I still look at our old videos on my laptop. Sometimes I miss dancing with you in the kitchen to our favorite songs.

Sometimes I remember how it felt when you first told me you loved me. Sometimes it still takes my breath away.

Sometimes I pull out our memory box. Sometimes I reread the letters you wrote me. Sometimes I still look through all of our pictures.

Sometimes I still cry.

Sometimes I still write about you.

Sometimes I still care.

Sometimes I still love you.

Sometimes is most times.

Most times is always.

—  excerpt from an unfinished book #57 // When I said I didn’t miss you anymore I meant I did more than ever

lol my laptop’s screen is horribly broken now thanks to a dog, so I’m using my old IBM Thinkpad from 2001. Totally feel like I’m 19 again and the biggest issue in my life is choosing which icon to use when I next post to LiveJournal.

will be publishing superannuated tomorrow at least. one more thing off the list of shit that has been waiting to be done since last summer. gah.