still love him with all my heart

I need to vent

To begin, back in March my boyfriend broke my heart by telling me that he did not love me anymore and that our relationship may be over and that really really affected me. I was completely distraught. Since then it has not been the same. He said we are not through officially but to me it feels like something is missing. He really did break my heart that time and I never recovered. I remember him telling me that he wanted to look elsewhere for a relationship and all that did was make me reflect upon what is wrong with me to make him think that. Still he says we are together, I should add that this is a long distance relationship, but it feels like anytime at random he will cut it off. I am so scared that will happen. I have been trying to condition myself to thinking that I am not with him anymore so that when it really does happen officially I will not be as broken. Conversations feel like walking on eggshells, I hate it. I cannot take this anymore. Part of me wants to break up with him myself just to have this doubt and sadness resolve. He is all I have, I do not have any friends save for my sister so it makes everything mored difficult. I have no one else to talk to about issues. Whenever I try to vent about something he tells me to stop. I realise I really do have no one. He never tells me that he loves me anymore, he never goes out of his way to talk to me, he never makes me feel special. I feel so much regret and so much pain over this. I wish I could tell him all of this but I do not think he will listen. I do not have anyone anymore. I am utterly alone.

things I love about Steve Trevor
  • He makes sure he actually thanks Diana for pulling him out of the water
  • The only time he ever expresses doubt to Diana about any of her beliefs is when he’s trying to convince her not to jeopardize the mission by killing Ludendorff, and even then it’s a hypothetical (“what if”)
    • He also does after she kills Ludendorff but that’s after her belief is shattered so I don’t really count it
  • He is so duty-bound I love him so much no wonder he and Diana got along so well
  • He just. Wants the people around him to be happy? The scene after they rescue Veld always kills me, and two parts in particular: 
    • When Charlie starts playing piano and singing and Steve says “I haven’t heard him sing in years…” and his face is all soft and you can see the shadow of a smile tugging at his lips but you can also see all the sadness in his eyes from those years of him not singing
    • And when he’s dancing with Diana and it starts to snow and she looks up and is so confused and delighted and he’s like “it’s snow… go on, touch it” and she does (also she has to let go of his hand to do it and he still encourages her to? such a small thing but oh man my heart) and he looks at her with such heart eyes
    • Honestly Chris Pine played him so well, so much complex emotion depicted even when he’s not speaking, like jfc well done
  • I love the boat scene, partly because it’s just fucking hilarious but mostly because their conversation is so respectful. She tells him she was sculpted from clay and brought to life by the breath of Zeus and his reaction is just to raise his eyebrows and say “Well, that’s neat.” 
    • I know that could read as sarcastic but it doesn’t to me at all. It’s funny, sure, but he isn’t making fun of her. It’s genuine and kind, even when what she’s saying is fairly unbelievable.
    • Just the entire way they speak in this scene… He never adopts that Mansplaining Tone™ that is so common, even when he’s actually explaining things. He talks because he wants to share information. It’s a cultural exchange, and I loved it.
  • After Veld, when they’re sitting and watching the villagers dance, he just quietly says, “You did this.” and she’s the one who smiles at him and says, “We did this.” He has so much respect for her and it kills me inside because it’s not “We did this” originally (which could be him pointing out that they’re a good team, him saying they have things in common, or a thousand other things), it’s just “You did this,” because he just wants her happy. He wants her to recognize how goddamn impressive she is. There is no agenda to what he said and it fucks me up
  • The entire scene with the kiss. Like, I’m gay as hell, usually I hate this kind of thing because it feels so unnecessary, but this was so well done I’m genuinely glad it was included
    • When he escorts her up to a room he then starts to leave. Even with all of that tension he doesn’t want to assume that she wants anything to happen. 
    • So he has his hand on the door and he starts to back out of the room and he hesitates just long enough for her to turn around and meet his gaze. And even then he’s reading that as a sign that she wants him in the room so he steps forward and closes the door behind her and then looks up again to confirm that’s what she wanted. And even after that, he crosses over to her so slowly and lets her be the one to actually initiate the kiss. 
    • He gives her a thousand and one chances to change her mind, to give him a small indication that she’s uncomfortable or doesn’t want it to happen, and it’s only once she lets all of those chances pass that they kiss. 
    • Consent-based relationships, man. Fuck me up.
  • Speaking of consent… the scene after Diana returns to Veld and sees the gas has killed everyone fucks me up
    • Steve’s followed her there and is clearly freaked the fuck out because she’s just gone and he physically can’t go in to try to find her because of the gas
    • So when she comes out he’s so visibly relieved and he goes forward and puts his hands around her face, clearly wanting to kiss her, and she shoves him away and says “stay away from me.” and he does.
    • He lets her be furious and devastated and overwhelmed because he knows what it’s like to feel powerless and I think he is genuinely sorry he contributed to her feeling this much pain. He lets her say she’s angry, he lets her blame him, he lets her grieve and doesn’t stop her when she leaves him there.
    • Not only does he not stop her, he sees the smoke from Chief’s fire and yells to her to follow it because he had followed Ludendorff. Their argument from the ballroom still isn’t resolved - she wants to just kill him and be done with it, Steve wants that to wait so they can focus on stopping the gas - but he recognizes that this is her choice and even after she’s basically just blamed an entire village’s deaths on him (and on herself) he tries to help her carry it out.
  • So after Diana’s killed Ludendorff and the war is still going on and Steve runs up to find her, he’s so visibly relieved that she’s alive and (like after Veld) goes to kiss her but backs away without her doing anything because he realizes the “stay away from me” thing has never been explicitly lifted. She might still want nothing to do with him and he respects that.
    • He does touch her a couple times after this but it’s always brief, I think it continues only because she didn’t react negatively the first time, and like they’re in the middle of a fucking war and I think Steve’s about 900% convinced that they’re all going to die so I’m gonna cut him a little slack here.
  • They have that “argument” again, where Diana says “this should have stopped, I killed him, why is this still going on” and instead of saying I told you so Steve just tries to get her to move on and help him save other people.
    • When he says “maybe it’s us! maybe we’re to blame!” (meaning not Ares) and she says that (obviously) she isn’t to blame, he doesn’t hesitate, he just says “but maybe I am.” He’s willing to put that on himself. Also, the qualifier through this scene - but maybe it’s us - is so important to me, because he’s still not saying “you’re wrong.” it’s a maybe.
    • When she refuses to go with him he’s clearly frustrated (again I’m giving him a pass here because he’s frustrated because he knows he won’t be able to save as many people without her) but he still doesn’t try to force her to go with him. He doesn’t guilt-trip her, doesn’t yell at her for not helping. He just gives that desperate shrug and says “I have to go. I’m sorry, I have to go.”
    • And when Charlie and Sam and Chief show up and ask where Diana is, all he says is “we’re on our own.” Not “she wouldn’t fucking help us” - which frankly is probably what I would have said in this situation - just that statement and nothing more.
  • In their final scene, when she’s hurt and dazed and temporarily hard of hearing, he breaks his “no touching” rule, but he breaks it because he’s helping her stand up and then because, well… even if she doesn’t, he knows he’s never going to see her again. 
    • It’s also super important to me that he doesn’t try to kiss her in this scene, because god knows he must have wanted to. He sees that she is in no shape to consent to anything like that and he doesn’t even come close to pushing it.
    • I’m not even gonna get into the “I can save today” part because I’m still too emotionally fraught
    • He says is “I wish we had more time.” before he tells her he loves her and literally runs to his death. That’s it. Nothing that could possibly make her feel guilty, nothing that could have seemed like he regretted anything. Not “I wish we hadn’t gone to the front.” Just “I wish we had more time.”
    • And he then, metaphorically and literally, gives her more time. Because he knows his clock has run out, but that doesn’t mean hers has to… So he runs and saves today and gives her his watch. Gives her time.
  • Anyway I’m seventeen thousand levels of fucked up from this movie, please feel free to add because Steve is amazing and a genuinely good, complex, respectful male character like this should be celebrated
Owl Emoji Ratings

Really good solid owl here. He looks strong and brave, he wants to protect his loved ones. Love the details. Love the colors. Love those big ol’ eyes. A perfect owl, to be honest. 10/10

More simplistic approach, but still very good. Eyes gazing at you lovingly. Sweet lil ears. He wants to make new friends but he’s a little nervous. I’ll be his friend. 10/10

This sweet boy went for a more dynamic pose, and appears to be more of a barn owl! I’d love to hear him hooting outside my window at 3 in the morning. 10/10

A purple girl!!! She looks like she walked (or flew) right out of an enchanting fantasy realm. She would be the greatest friend imaginable. 10/10

A tiny fluffy friend…. I would die for him, but he wouldn’t want me to. He would be that one friend who pays attention to you when everyone else in your friend group doesn’t realize you’re trying to talk. 10/10

This LARGE owl is the friend we all need. He’s strong and powerful but he’s also polite and good hearted, and his ears are nice and big, so he can hear if you’re ever in trouble and come to your aid. 10/10

A cute, sweet little guy who is very nervous about being on this list. Luckily there’s room in my heart for all owls, and I think he’s magnificent. I love his sweet eyes. 10/10

This more stylized, colorful owl is really unique and gorgeous. I hope he isn’t worried about standing out too much. His unique patterns are admirable and he’s the envy of all. 10/10

This owl is just a head but I still love him. There’s a sparkle in his eye and you can sense warmth and kindness radiating off of him. He’s the wise old owl you read about only in fairy tales, but never imagined you would see face to face. I’m blessed just looking at him. 10/10

6

All because they do not wish to see anyone else suffer the way they do.

My heart is already tired.” she said putting her hand over her chest. Wanting to make herself believe that her heart is still beating. “But I just can’t stop. I just can’t stop caring and loving him. That it seems more than enough. It feels like drinking water and breathing air. As if I’m going to lose it once I stopped thinking about how he is. I’m still living in this fantasy, and reality keeps on reminding me that the world doesn’t revolve around him. It is so beautiful and destructive at the same time. Yet now, all I wanted is to wake up from this sweet dream of mine.
—  ma.c.a // Dreams of You
“Why couldn’t you ever just choose me? Are you really that scared of me?” I said defensively.
He took a long breath.
I hadn’t thought he was going to respond because he never has when I got like this.
Demanding answers.
He usually runs.
But the words spilled from his mouth.
“Yes, and I can’t have you because I fuck everything up.
I would love nothing more than to let myself be with you.” He said running his hands through his hair.
“You know I love you.” He said, eyes meeting mine as my breath stilled.
“But I will not hurt you like that.
Because I know I will,
It’s what I do.
You know it and I know it.
I will break your heart.” He told me as he cupped my face and kissed my forehead before turning away and leaving.
I was stunned in that moment.
I wanted to stop him.
But the words were stuck in my throat.
Of all the things I’ve always wanted to say in a moment like this.
I knew this was my one opportunity.
Because he was a runner.
But I couldn’t get past the lump forming.
We never spoke of it again.
But I wish I had told him that,
this already hurts.
Having him,
but not completely.
Loving him but knowing
that we would never be together.
That this was already breaking my heart.
That I would have risked the pain and heartache,
Just to have a chance together.
—  melindacarolinee

LOOK one time i met dan avidan and the space around him was just…. soft, his aura was soft and chill and there was no stress and he made sleepy jokes at me and sleepy smiled at my phone for a picture and i am just so grateful

and then the next day i walked past him on the street and his soft aura of chill no-stress love and peace was 100% STILL THERE. IT’S REAL. like i s2g i SENSED dan walk by me more than i even recognized him because there was like, peace in my heart after we crossed paths

anyways dan is pure soul thank you for reading

Undercover - Jughead Jones

Hi! Could I get a Jughead x Reader imagine where the reader and Jughead are best friends, but the reader has feelings for Jughead but doesn’t tell him. One day she goes “undercover” to get info about Jason’s death for Jughead and he sees her undercover and realizes he has feelings for her, and then there’s some rated T action and fluff between them? Thanks!

I kinda twisted the meaning of it but it lead to *high pitched screaming*

Originally posted by squintlovely


Being best friends with Jughead Jones isn’t the easiest thing in the world. He’s not the friendliest person to begin with, but some can easily look past that, like yourself. You and Jughead had been close every since you could remember, but the summer before Sophomore year changed things. Jughead became more reclusive and less in touch with you. It all happened after Jason Blossoms’ death. The day before school started up again, you invited yourself over to his house. Needless to say, Jughead was surprised.

“Y/N?” He asked, the bags under his eyes telling you he must’ve just woken up. Despite the normal summer heat, he was wearing a loose sweater and sweatpants. Just seeing him again, after so long, made your heart flutter. You quickly pushed it down and regained your angry composure. “I haven’t seen you in months, Jug!” You said, obviously breaking him out of his tired state. He quickly pulled you inside his house, and you accidently bumped into his chest. It was so tempting to hug him, but you fought the urge and watched as he closed the door behind you. When he faced you, you saw how intense his gaze was. “I’m sorry about that, Y/N, I am.” He said, his tone serious. “I’ve been working on something,” he said as he walked past you, beckoning you to follow him. He lead you to his room then to his desk where an open laptop rested. Pages of text cluttered the screen and just by skimming through the document the words ‘Summer’, ‘Jason Blossom’, and ‘presumed dead’ caught your eye. You turned to face Jughead who stood, unmoving, next to you. “This is what you were doing?” You asked, turning back to study the words he had typed.

“Yeah, ever since I heard he was missing.” He muttered, but you couldn’t help but be amazed by your friend. His drive and dedication to his writing was eye-opening. You faced him once more with a grin on your features. “Do you need help?”

Keep reading

2

‘Don’t,’ said Laurent, ‘toy with me. I—have not the means to—defend against this.’

‘I don’t toy with you.’

;3; my sons. More fan art to come i can’t help it

liampayne: My close friends and family know there are very few times when I’m left speechless… wow!
I’m incredibly happy to welcome our new baby boy into the world, it’s a moment that I will never forget for the rest of my life and my favourite memory I have so far. I’m completely in awe of his incredible mother and how she has been the whole way through this, she’s really made my dreams come true. We haven’t named him yet but he’s already capturing hearts including mine. I feel very blessed.
Happy Mother’s Day everyone!

cherylofficial: On Wednesday 22nd March Liam and I became parents to an incredibly beautiful, healthy baby boy, weighing 7lb 9 and looking like a dream. Although he still doesn’t have a name he is already stealing hearts. We are all madly in love and overwhelmingly happy with our little arrival. Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers around the world. A day that now has a different meaning to me forever 💙

The clique often forgets how creative and introspective Josh is.

Yes, Tyler writes the music and sings the words. Yes, Josh is the quieter of the duo, and doesn’t often express what he’s thinking through lyrics. But as I was scrolling through his tumblr, I realized how creative and appreciative of beautiful things he is. Some of his older posts on instagram had poems on them, as well as his older tumblr posts. And if he wasn’t creating, he was reposting and appreciating poetry and poetry books and art and music. 

And he is also so strong. Tyler was strong as well, but Josh’s struggles are sometimes forgotten. Not only long ago when he was struggling with major anxiety, but also recently. You can see on his tumblr timeline when he went through a very hard time (i would suspect it was his breakup but his relationship is not my business so I won’t delve further into that). Josh has been through a lot, but he still creates and drums and loves with his whole heart.

He appreciates everything that has gotten him this far as well. The music, the people, the words. He loves all of those things will his whole heart, and its very apparent. He’s donated to so many charities, and really wants to do some good in this world. I can see that he views the world in the same light that an artist does. 

I think Josh has a wildly beautiful mind: something we often forget as he tends to be quieter onstage.

I am like a pile of bones lying on the floor, and no one knows this except me. I am like a broken skeleton with a beating heart.”
He said slowly with a heaviness floating through his words, and at that moment I knew that I desperately wanted to save him. But I also knew that we can’t save people, we can only one love them. But, was I ready to love him? Was I ready to throw my heart towards him once again, knowing that he won’t ever catch it.
Even after all these years, I still loved him. And, I wanted, i truly wanted to pick up his bones and fix them together. I wanted to stitch him a flesh so strong that he would never feel this again.
Wrapped in awe, I looked at him, his face surrounded by terror, his eyes speaking of the wars he lost, his lips trembling, his body tightened by fear. I realized, he was afraid too, he was afraid that he shouldn’t have told me. I suddenly felt wounded. I was wounded in his battle.
I loved someone who could never love me back.
I wanted to tell him, but I simply couldn’t. Because loving him was a luxury I always dreamed of. And, I was happy with that. So, I replied, “I know how you feel.” and walked silently with him in the shadow of the moonlight to a place I didn’t want to go. For I loved him, and sadly I still do.
—  the-story-teller-6  {Rakhi Nasir}

Okay I thought of something and it made me emo so I wanted to share it with you guys too so we can be emo together (that’s what skamily is for) 

You remember this? (well of course you do) 

well this clip just made me realise that this, everything Even is telling Isak that will happen isn’t just something that he thinks will happen because he is depressed. He believes it, because it’s happened before. It has happened with his friends whom he loved so much. 

We don’t know what happened but it is something so bad that not only hurt balloon squad but made Even think they hate him, made Even hate himself and that’s why he was so sure he would always be alone before Isak. Why he thought all he did was ruin things. Because he has before. He has lost everything before. and now it’s threatening to come back and haunt him and he is flipping terrified that whatever he did that was so bad to lose all the people he loves and trust, will take away the one person he loves and trusts now.


This clip broke my heart, because this face? it reminds me of the clip above. All the shame, self-hate, resentment at whatever led to him losing his friends. This face shows just how much he still truly believes that he hurt all his friends enough for them to hate him. He believes it so much that he continues to hate himself for everything he can’t change. He is so ashamed, so terrified of everything that went down with bakka and his closest friends to come back and destroy everything he has built between him and that incident. ugh it’s just. I feel like this clip and this entire storyline is so damn important because it’s proving that everything we saw with Even at the end of s3 hasn’t gone away just because Isak loves him. 

His self hate? the pain, this belief that he doesn’t deserve anyone because he just hurts them and ruins everything? ah god it’s still there and it always will be until he faces everything that created it. And so the bakka storyline is coming up to maybe hopefully push Even in the right direction of healing and finally self love and acceptance because that is what skam is about. 

dealing with everything you are ashamed of about yourself and finding love and acceptance within yourself. For Even that is no longer being ashamed of his past and his illness but accepting that it is a part of him and his story and he is even more strong, beautiful and compassionate because of it. He shouldn’t hate himself for things out of his control, and he shouldn’t be terrified of losing people he loves because of it. He is kind, smart, beautiful, and loved. his illness doesn’t define him. This is everything I wanted from an Even season, and just maybe we’re gonna get it. 

just maybe we’re gonna get to watch someone teach us how to love and accept ourselves again. 

I hope so

Also the fact that he asked about the boys made me want to cry because he so clearly misses them so much and he said it in such a,….sad way? I just I can’t. 

Especially when the boys reaction to Even’s name was this

I just… I want to protect my baby and take away his pain and worries. He still thinks that he is capable of hurting and losing Isak and I truly feel like those feelings are connected to the Balloon squad, who are connected to Sana who is our beautiful main. And that is how we are going to get Even’s self acceptance story after all. 

I’m sorry I told you this was emo. 

Burning Low

“You’re not going to believe me,” Yuuri insists.

“No piece of dog related information can be kept from me, Yuuri.”

Yuuri huffs, buries his face in Makkachin’s fur. They’re lying on Viktor’s bed, atop plush sheets, the hum of Euro pop soft in the background. Yuuri’s wearing ratty sweatpants and a T-shirt, dotted with the occasional curl of Makkachin’s hair. Viktor can’t look away. Their fingers are laced over the poodle’s plump belly, something that keeps happening, ever since the Cup of China. There are two periods in Viktor’s life: B.C., Before China, and after. Viktor loves the after.

“Vicchan was a stray,” Yuuri mumbles.

Viktor tries not to laugh. “Oh, love, I know there were posters in your room with my face on them– you can say you bought Vicchan.”

Viktor,” Yuuri whines, burying his face into Makkachin. “I knew you wouldn’t believe me.”

“Okay, okay,” Viktor chuckles. “So Vicchan was a stray.” He wiggles over the top of Makkachin, presses a kiss to Yuuri’s forehead.

“Yeah,” Yuuri breathes, soft. “When I found him and brought him back to the onsen, soaked in muddy puddle water and curls all matted, I thought he was some kind of gift from god. A poodle all my own. So I could be just like you.”

“Clearly, your parents agreed.” The brown eyes flicker up to him, twinkling.

“No,” Yuuri admits. “They told me Vicchan probably belonged to someone else. That we had to put up signs saying we’d found him.” He snorts gently through his nose. “…I sobbed for hours.” Makkachin snuffles, licks Yuuri’s cheek. “I plucked up Vicchan and locked myself in my room–my parents had to talk me down through the door. They told me they knew I loved Vicchan, but that maybe there was some other little boy out there missing him, loving him.”

“And you,” Viktor says, “my softhearted Yuuri, you were willing to give him back.”

Yuuri presses his lips together. Amused. “No,” he contradicts again, quietly. “That didn’t work. After all, who could love Vicchan more than me? I refused to put up the Found Dog signs up because of that.” There’s a pause, and Viktor fills in the gap. Until. “Then, they told me that Vicchan could be missing the place where he belonged.”

“Oh, Yuuri,” Viktor says. Maybe they shouldn’t discuss Yuuri’s dog– sometimes when he looks at Makkachin, the cinnamon eyes still glaze over.

“How could I take Vicchan away from what he loved? So we put up signs,” Yuuri finishes, smile small. “I was ready to give him up. Ready, even if it broke my heart.” Their fingers tighten across Makkachin’s belly, and it’s natural to lean forward and kiss him, all ruffled hair and round cheeks, gentle eyes. Viktor’s Yuuri. Viktor’s everything.

“Let’s end this,” Yuuri says, in Barcelona. The man who is his everything, and he wants to end it.

You don’t have to break your heart, Viktor thinks. Oh, you don’t have to break your heart

8

Time.

Does time really heal? It’s been eight years and yet I am still trying to understand it all. Never would I have ever thought that someone I’ve loved and admired so much since I were a small child would be taken away from the world so soon. Year after year of his anniversary I’ve dealt with constant sadness and pure anger.. all because he was no longer here. And as time went on I started to feel selfish, because I wanted him here for my sake. But then I realized something and everything made sense. He didn’t need to be here any longer. A heart and soul so pure had to endure ongoing torment and hell on earth. He had suffered enough. The world truly didn’t deserve him.

So does time really heal? No, it doesn’t. It does get a little easier but that’s a loss and a pain that will truly never go away. Michael I love you and thank you so much for everything that you gave us. Your time, your dedication, and your music will live on forever. One of my favorite things about you is your smile. That beautiful smile that could light up even the darkest room. It brings me overwhelming amounts of comfort. Today may not be the most joyous day but seeing you smile is just enough for me.

Forever in my heart. ❤️

I met Ray Toro from My Chemical Romance a few weeks ago. He was legit one of the nicest people I’ve ever met in my life.

He didn’t act like a “celebrity” at all. Yeah, he was meeting a fan (and others too), he was giving out autographs and taking pictures, but he was still humble and all around great with us. There were only a few of us there meeting him and the others were all around 12 or 13 (I’m 17 currently), and he was so nice and patient with all of us.

He seemed kind of amused watching us all flip out over meeting him, but he didn’t act like he was some big celebrity. He was just chill.

TL;DR : Ray Toro is officially the best. Carry on.