still laughing so hard omg

  • Garrus: Alright, my turn. What's the first order an Alliance commander gives at the start of combat?
  • Joker: Uh... I give up.
  • Garrus: (chuckles) Correct.
  • Joker: Ohohoh... alright, big guy. What do you call it when a turian gets killed by a horrible spiky monster?
  • Garrus: Friendly fire - come on, that one goes back to Shanxi!
  • Joker: Well, you gotta respect the classics!
  • Garrus: How many humans does it take to activate a dormant mass relay?
  • Joker: (exasperated) 602. 600 to vote on it, one to ask the asari for technical help and one to request a seat on the Council afterwards. How do you know when a turian is out of ammo?
  • Garrus: He switches to the stick up his ass as a backup weapon. Why does the Alliance hire pilots... with brittle bone disease?
  • Joker: Y... you're shittin' me! The turian military has one about me?
  • Garrus: Oh, absolutely. I heard it myself from a private back on Palaven.
  • Joker: Okay, why does the Alliance hire pilots with brittle bone disease?
  • Garrus: So that their marines can beat someone in hand-to-hand drills.
  • Joker: ...damn, you need to tell James that one. Hey, what's the hardest part about treating a turian who took a rocket to one side of his face?
  • Garrus: (deadpan) Figuring out which side took the rocket.
Mark's precious laughter
Mark's precious laughter

A compilation of Mark’s precious laughter from real got7 eps 1 - 6 [part 2]

p/s. some parts are really soft so you might not be able to hear his laugh

dating nct dream; chenle ver.

this is probably gonna be kinda really long


-this boy is probably as clueless as jisung smh

-but he knows the simple things!!

-hand holding, hugging, etc

-and leT ME EXPLAIN

-how he fell in love~~~~~

-as in love as an 01 liner can

-ok so chenle first met you at school

-well, the first time he saw you he didnt really meet you

-so he was wandering down the halls like the cool kid he is!!!

-and he was about to go in the music room bc what else does this nerd do with his life

-he had the day off from training too so like

-why not mess around in a place he loves!!!

-so he’s about to walk in but then

-GASP

-HE HEARS

-A VOICE

-SINGING!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-FROM INSIDE THE ROOM!!

-how cliche is this smh

-ANYWAYS HE HEARS A VOICE SINGING

-and he immediately mELTS

-“omg angels are real i cant tell anyone abOUT THIS”

-so he slowly opens the door just a bit and looks in and sees someone sitting on a chair, back turned to him and has headphones on

-so you dont notice him at all bc your back is to the door and your headphones are top notch af!!!

-chen’s just standing there at the door like a creeper and all he can think about is “i wanna marry them”

-he listens to you singing your lil heart out for a lil bit longer but his smol heart cant handle it

-he’s already too in love with you

-so he’s like “I GOTTA GO TELL SOMEONE ABOUT HOW IN LOVE I AM WITH THE PERSON IN THAT ROOM” so he dASI RUN RUN RUNS AWAY AND SHUTS THE DOOR

-and you just didnt notice at all

-so he runs back to the dorms and bursts through the door dramatically screaming “I NEED HELP”

-the rest of the dream team are like “omg what’s wrong are you dying”

-but he’s just like “MY HEART FEELS FUNNY IT KEEPS BEATING (and noT BC I RAN HOME) AND I FEEL LIKE IM GONNA THROW UP BUT IN A GOOD WAY AND LIKE I CANT STOP THINKING ABOUT ONE THING" 

-he doesnt know he’s in love and i just what a cutiepie omg

-jaemin stares at him for a second before falling on the floor laughing

-mark’s trying to contain himself but it’s too cute to not laugh 

-“chen chen listen to me i think youre in love man” -jaemin

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN” -chenle, pterodactyl screeching

-mark tries to calm him down while also getting the juicy gossip 10/10 “it’s ok dude, tell hyungs who it is

-and then jisung like, slides in and is like "yeah chen tell HYUNGS WHO IT IS” which makes chen hit him

-chen gets kinda sad and freezes “oh my god… i dont know”

-“WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DONT KNOW YOURE IN LOVE WITH THEM” jisung screams

-“I DIDNT SEE THEIR FACE I JUST HEARD THEM SINGING”

-so he spends the next 5 days trying to find out who it is

-asking everybody to sing for him, getting dragged away by jeno and renjun

-“we’re sorry for him” -ren and jeno trying to do damage control

-“NO I NEED TO FIND OUT IF THEYRE THE ONE” chen, as he’s struggling against his friends

-ok so like, that obviously fails so chen’s sad for the next 5903 years

-and he’s like “im never gonna fall in love again”

-and the dream team are like"IM SICK OF THIS LET’S JUST HELP HIM FIND HIS DREAM GIRL/BOY”

-“that’s so much work tho” -hae

-“*cue ren grabbing him by his collar, eyes bloodshot and clearly distressed* YOU TRY BEING THE ONE HE GOES TO WHENEVER HE MISSES HIS ONE TRUE LOVE YOURE GOING TO HELP US WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT”

-jaemin has to drag him away but ren keeps screeching

-so one of the boys sneak into like, every vocal class to listen to everybody sing for like 2 weeks but they still cant find the one 

-chen keeps saying “NO IT’S NOT ANGELIC ENOUGH IT’S NOT THEM" 

-so he nearly gives up bc he thinks it’s just not meant to be :ccc

-also, chen’s the type to walk pass the music room dramatically, staring at the door as he does so 

-so he’s doing that one time but woah. W O A H!!! HE HEARS THE VOICE AGAIN

-“omg fuk chen be a man and aSK THEM FOR THEIR NAME” -chen, screaming at himself

-so he slowly opens the door and woAH IT’S YOU

-he knocks on the door but you dont notice, your headphones on again so he takes a deep breath and walks over 

-he taps your shoulder lightly which makes you sCREAM AND FALL OFF YOUR CHAIR

-chen is so red omg

-“im so sorry i didnt mean to do that!!!!!!!!”

-YOURE ON THE FLOOR AND SCRAMBLING TO GET UP AND HE’S STILL APOLOGIZING 

-“im so sorry omg!!!!!!!!!!" 

-"it’s ok man” -you, laughing really hard at yourself and him

-“im… im chenle and ive been looking for you for like… forever-” chen turns ever redder bc it sounds so creepy coming from his mouth

-“i know who you are. how do you know me?" 

-chen’s brain short circuits and all he can think about is "OH MY GOD YOU KNOW ME” and he accidentally says it out loud

-“everybody in this school knows you, youre in nct dream…”

-he feels embarrassed bc he didnt remember

-you glance at the clock and see that it’s almost time for your guardian to pick you up 

-so you just tell him “well i have to go but im y/n. i come here every tuesday if you need me." 

-and you grab your backpack and sling it over your shoulder

-and he looks like a fish opening his mouth and closing it trying to say something but you just look so cool doing that and im!!!!!!!

-so just as youre about to leave he’s like 

-"i really like your voice”

-he like BLURTS it out he sounds all choked up and stuff omg

-and you pause for like, an hour before you turn around and look at him 

-“thanks." 

-you sound really shy and cute and adorable omg

-the last thing you say is "i like yours too” before you walk away like nothing happened

-as soon as you close the door behind you and leave, chen COLLAPSES

-HE FALLS ONTO HIS KNEES AND CURLS INTO A BALL

-the rest of the dream team probably crawl out of the closet or something inside the room 

-they stare at chen’s half-dead body for a bit before jisung says something

-“is he ok" 

-"lol when is he ever” -ren

-so chen’s laying on the ground in a ball

-and mark’s just like “i never signed up to be a parent when i auditioned but w/e dude”

-so he walks over and picks chen up like it’s their wedding day or somethin smh and has to like, carry him back home

-so every tuesday he meets up with you in the music room 

-at first you were like “uh but why would you wanna be here when you can be with your idol friends”

-but after a bit you got used to it

-and you would like, wait for him to arrive before you started doing anything

-and your school is probably one of those school with vending machines and stuff smh fancy af 

-so whenever you bought a drink or a snack, you’d buy one for him too

-which makes chen just falls in love with you even more bc “omg, they think of me when im not there woAH "even tho it’s just like, a drink or something

-so the first few times, it would just be you singing and him listening 

-but after the fourth time he swung on over to you in the music room you were like "dont you wanna sing too?”

-and chen’s just like “omg, uh i sing a lot already and i really like your voice”

-but youre just like “i like your voice too. do you wanna sing with me?”

-so when he hears you say that, he’s like “oh.. oh…… i………IF YOU WANNA”

-and you know that song jungkook and lady jane sang on masked singer (here’s the link if you havent heard it: x)

-well youre like “do you know this song??” (HINT IT’S THE SONG I LINKED ABOVE WINK) and you sing a smol part of it for him

-he literally melts in his seat bc your voice is so angelic and you sang the part of the song where it was like “im in love”

-he manages to nod tho

-so you two sing together (what a bunch of cuties omg) and after you guys finish, chen is LITERALLY ON CLOUD 9

-and all you say is “we sounded nice together” before grinning and he just awkwardly chuckles and scratches the back of his neck 

-“yeah, yeah we did" 

-and when you leave this time, youre like "i’ll see you later chen” and leave 

-chen’s dying again bc “omg they called me chEN INSTEAD OF CHENLE WE’RE PRACTICALLY MARRIED”

-when you guys pass each other in the halls you two smile at each other but dont interact much bc he doesnt want crazy fans to hurt you :cc

-this lil duck’s way of confessing was so cute and cliche

-the next tuesday, he was like “i gotta do this today!! i must confess!!!!!!!!” so he like practices what he’s gonna say over and over again

-he probably uses ren as a practice test

-and when it’s finally tuesday, you head to the music room but chen’s already there!!

-“oh hey what’s up man” -you

-“HOW DO YOU KNOW SOMETHING’S UP”

-“you look really nervous”

-and he just like shrivels up into a ball but he is a man!!!!! he can do this!!!!!!!!!!!

-and he like, sings you a really cute ballad and asks you out

-your heart is pounding and your face is probably really red

-youre standing there and not saying anything so chen gets really scared

-but then you say “oh my god” really quietly and then “of course you idiot oh my gosh” and shove him lightly

-after you two started dating, chen tries his best to walk with you to school and walk you home too what a cutiepie ;-;

-just saying now chen is a clueless MESS (in the cutest way possible!!!)

-like, if he sees a doggo on the way to school with you

-HE HAS TO PET IT

-it doesnt matter if the guy with the doggo is scary

-HE GOTTA

-if there’s a van with the sign “free candy” in badly written handwriting

-”THAT LOOKS NICE, Y/N WE GOTTA GO GET SOME CANDY”

-whenever you two sing duets all chen can look at is you

-especially if it’s a love song

-youre always on his mind and he cant ever find words that explain how much he loves you so he tries to write songs for you

-for your one year anniversairy he wrote a song for you and sang it in the music room where you two met

-he smiles really hard when he sees you, his face squishes up and it’s sO CUTE UGH

-he hugs you as a greeting after you two started dating

-i feel like chen would love giving you forehead kisses omg

-if he’s going away on a trip or a tour or something, he’d leave voice messages for you of him singing or telling you he loves you or something oh my gosh

-he’s such a sweet boy and he loves you so much

-he would honestly give you the world 

-and you would too!! because you love him just as much as he loves you ♡

anonymous asked:

And in OFD in Japan tho :'DDD he was such a dictator xd oh i laughed so hard. oMG i ReALlY lOvE HIm.

I still need to watch that. Don’t spoil it shhh 😂 Thank you for reminding me 😚

6

Jabez Olssen: Normally, we don’t see people ignoring you!
Peter Jackson: No! Normally, when you’re being ignored, you’re still being ignored behind your back or something, but –
JO: Yeah.
PJ: I’m being ignored in…
JO: 3D!
PJ: …In 5k [resolution]! In stereo!