still laughing at it omg

Oh my God

I just showed my grandmother the Jaal sex scene on my phone, in the middle of a restaurant.

I said, “Yep. Gonna get that game and screw me a squid kitty looking alien.”

The look on her face… No words can describe. I laughed so hard… And the fact that it was a quiet restaurant made it even funnier. I thought I was going to suffocate from trying not to laugh.

anonymous asked:

my microwave broke like 2 weeks ago & its still sitting uselessly on the floor of my kitchenette & yesterday i was dancing to call me baby & i tripped over the microwave & i swear i was thinking "WHAT IS GOING ON" as i was falling & when i hit the microwave i thought "oh its the microwave" and then hit the floor (im still laughing at myself)

Kfkdkdjsk at least u didnt hurt urself omg

GUYS IM LITERALLY CRYING RN!!!

This morning while I was watching TV I suddenly switched to a channel that was showing a Gravity Falls episode (the one with the blind eye society) with finnish subtitles.

So, hear me out, when the Pines twins are going to the dumpster to meet McGucket to ask about the laptop, Wendy’s friends are spraying the words “MCSUCK IT” on McGucket’s house wall and the translator had translated it in finnish AND BOI DID I LAUGH!!!

IT WAS TRANSLATED TO “MCGUKKELI” WHICH CAN MEAN TWO THINGS:

“Mc old man”

*OR*

“MCPENIS” !!!!!!!!!!

S eND HELP!!!!

  • Garrus: Alright, my turn. What's the first order an Alliance commander gives at the start of combat?
  • Joker: Uh... I give up.
  • Garrus: (chuckles) Correct.
  • Joker: Ohohoh... alright, big guy. What do you call it when a turian gets killed by a horrible spiky monster?
  • Garrus: Friendly fire - come on, that one goes back to Shanxi!
  • Joker: Well, you gotta respect the classics!
  • Garrus: How many humans does it take to activate a dormant mass relay?
  • Joker: (exasperated) 602. 600 to vote on it, one to ask the asari for technical help and one to request a seat on the Council afterwards. How do you know when a turian is out of ammo?
  • Garrus: He switches to the stick up his ass as a backup weapon. Why does the Alliance hire pilots... with brittle bone disease?
  • Joker: Y... you're shittin' me! The turian military has one about me?
  • Garrus: Oh, absolutely. I heard it myself from a private back on Palaven.
  • Joker: Okay, why does the Alliance hire pilots with brittle bone disease?
  • Garrus: So that their marines can beat someone in hand-to-hand drills.
  • Joker: ...damn, you need to tell James that one. Hey, what's the hardest part about treating a turian who took a rocket to one side of his face?
  • Garrus: (deadpan) Figuring out which side took the rocket.

so like
• phichit announced the victuuri marriage
• yurio found a hot friend
• yuuri got drunk at last years party and had a dance off with yurio that led to a stripper pole and pics with Chris
• yuuri bought Victor and he rings and they both put them on each other
• we got victor pov

wth just happened am i missing anything

the funniest line deliveries (imo) for each of The Magnificent Seven

“I HAVE THREE MARIAAAAAAS!!!” - Vasquez

“Then just shoot him in the head, hell I don’t know, avenge me.” - Sam Chisolm

“Oh good they brought their pitchforks, we may stand a chance after all.” - Josh Faraday (OR “Je-sus-wept”)

“You little shit! We got a lot to talk about!” - Jack Horne

“I’m hungry.” - Red Harvest

C’MON! GET SOME GRAVEL IN YOUR CRAW! GODDAMNsonsabitches” - Goodnight Robicheaux

(1000% poker faced) “That is funny.” - Billy Rocks

8

Oh boy, I spent a bit more time on this than I expected. But take a look at this eye-sore. Note that each one depicts what the character thinks of the other person! lool I mean their relationship goes deeper than that, but these are the initial impressions and general feelings they have towards each other. 

The guy on the upper right of the diagram hasn’t been introduced yet, so that’s why there’s no name atm, plus besides Rein, Cerys, and Gio, mystery oc doesn’t really have much thoughts on the others. And also Micah’s thoughts are when he’s fully awake, when he’s half-asleep, he’s not really– thinking much lmao he just wants warmth and comfort.

Kii isn’t included bc he’s not part of this story. Plus he has no real relationships with another person. I also didn’t include Zaira bc while she is part of this story, she’s the leader of a different team, so her main connection is with Rein.

Take It Back (Soukoku)

Authorโ€™s Note: Heeey, @a-flustered-paint-appeared ~ Did I remember you saying that the 14th was your birthday in a post before? I think I did! Happy birthday, cupcake! I wrote this for you as a gift, so I hope you enjoy this along with your special day! <3

Description: Chuuya comes back home from a mission and immediately hits Dazai with a โ€˜fuck youโ€™. Dazai, feeling playful, begins to chase Chuuya around the apartment and soon catches him to give him the punishment he deserves.

Word Count: 1,366


ย ย  Chuuya shut the door behind him and tossed his coat off with a groan. He had just returned from a mission to his and Dazaiโ€™s shared apartment and was exhausted from all of the work that he did. Sure, he didnโ€™t really have to do much, but the mission was long and petty and ugh. He was sure glad to be home.

ย ย  Well, at least until his partner greeted him.

ย ย  He trudged into the living room and was heading to his room, but was stopped in his tracks when Dazai stepped in front of him and hugged him tightly.

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