Here is Who We Know For a Fact is on the Isle, Why, and What They’ve Been Up To
As per the Descendants wiki (which needs a lot of updating so it’s possible I’m missing some). Also thoughts in parenthesis are mine, because I’m snarky.
Anastasia Tremaine: Abusing Cinderella, deceiving the king and prince, identity theft, assault, seems to generally be involved in villainous group schemes, probably including whatever led to the creation of the Isle. (Seriously, I have NO IDEA why she’s here, SHE REFORMED COME ON. I can only assume that something happened). Now she’s presumably working at the salon, Curl Up and Dye, and she has a bunch of daughters, one of whom is named Anita, and at least one son, Anthony.
Captain Hook: Murder, attempted murder, kidnapping, hostage holding, torture, manipulating Tinker Bell, presumably a lot of theft, since he’s a pirate. (Yeah, okay, he earned a criminal sentence). He’s got three kids - Harriet, Harry, and CJ, and he runs a fishing shop. Also still has the Jolly Roger, so it must have been repaired post-octopus destroying it. He also used to own Uma’s ship but he had a race to give it to someone else and Uma won.
Claude Frollo: ….Do I gotta elaborate? How about being genocidal, abuse of power, attempted murder, arson, torture, sexual harassment and attempted assault, child abuse, false imprisonment as Quasimodo was an adult, he should have been free to leave the tower. (Yeah, he deserves EVERYTHING he gets). Currently he runs a creperie and has a daughter named Claudine. ..Ben, please, I will PAY you to rescue her.
Clayton: Poaching, animal abuse, attempted murder. He has a son named Clay now.
Coachman: Kidnapping, animal abuse, child abuse, dark magic. He runs a taxi service….presumably pulled by donkeys. *shudders*
Cruella De Vil: Animal abuse to the nth degree, theft, attempted murder since she tried to run a dude off the road. She currently has Carlos and I dunno what she does for a living.
Diablo: Aiding, abetting and enabling Maleficent. Currently still does, now that his petrification is broken.
Dr. Facilier: Dark magic, attempted theft and attempted murder. Currently runs a shop and has at least one child, Freddie.
Drizella Tremaine: All the same stuff as Anastasia, minus identity theft, but she never ever reformed or showed substantial remorse. Currently works at the salon and has a number of daughters, one of whom is Dizzy.
Edgar Balthazar: Animal abuse, attempted theft. This is the butler from the Aristocats for those of you who forgot him. He has a son, Eddie. No idea what he does though - maybe he buttles for one of the royal villains?
Flotsam and Jetsam: Aiding, abetting, and enabling Ursula. They currently live in a fish tank at the Chips shoppe. At least one of them has children, but Jay owns them as pets.
Gaston: Kidnapping, attempted murder, inciting a mob to violence and attempted murder, attempted false imprisonment, blackmail. He has a hunting store and three boys - one named Gaston Jr., one named Gaston the Third, and one named Gil.
Governor Ratcliffe: Attempted genocide, attempted murder, conspiracy to frame Pocahontas and John Smith. He has a son called Rick.
Hades: Attempted murder, conspiracy to commit a coup, unleashing the titans. He has a son named Hadie and seems to sell Greek food (or what the Isle can pass as Greek food).
Horace: Theft, ransoming, basically being hired hitmen for Cruella, animal abuse, impersonating another. Claimed to reform. Has a kid named Harold, called Harry.
Horned King: Kidnapping, attempted murder, tried to take over the world, abuse of power. Owns a cauldron repair joint.
Iago: Aided, abetted, and enabled Jafar, impersonating royalty, a few counts of theft, although he reformed (AND I AM SO MAD HE’S ON THE ISLE). Apparently he’s lost his ability to speak (or pretends he has) and has a son called Othello, whom Evie keeps as a pet. Seems to have teamed back up with Jafar. (STILL HORRIFYING).
Jafar: Attempted coup, attempted murder, false imprisonment, theft, dark magic. He has a junk shop where his son steals stuff and then he sells it back. Has a son, Jay.
Jasper: Same as Horace. Has a son named Jace.
Lady Tremaine: Child abuse, abuse of magic, false imprisonment, destruction of property, some believe she murdered her husband. Aided and abetted identity theft and deceiving the royal family. Owns the salon.
LeFou: Attempted murder, conspiracy to commit false imprisonment and blackmail, assault. He has a son called LeFou Deux (and he owes his son an apology for that).
Lucifer: Abusing Cinderella. Has a bunch of kittens, one of which is owned by Carlos as a pet.
Madame Mim: Cheating in a Wizard Duel (presumably punishable by some sort of magical penalty) and attempted murder. She has a few granddaughters, one of whom is called Maddy.
Maleficent: Child endangerment, attempted murder, kidnapping, torture. Often claims a leadership position in villain group plans, has a daughter named Mal, and is currently her pet lizard.
Maleficent’s Goblins: Aiding, abetting and enabling Maleficent. Currently trying to request amnesty from her.
Mother Gothel: Child abuse, false imprisonment, attempted murder. Currently teaching at one of the schools, has a daughter called Ginny.
Pain and Panic: Aiding, abetting, and enabling Hades. Pain has a lane named after him on the Isle.
Queen of Hearts: Attempted murder and abuse of power. Currently owns a salon.
Ratigan: Attempted murder, murder, extortion, attempted coup, kidnapping. Lives on the Isle, occasionally gets chased out of the chip shoppe by an angry Ursula.
Royal Astronomer of Agrabah: Knowingly aided, abetted, and enabled Jafar’s plans by checking if the stars aligned for Jafar’s purposes. Has a son named Reza.
Scar: Murder, coup, false confession, assault, false imprisonment, abuse of power. Lives on the Isle.
Shan Yu: Kidnapping, mass murder of civilians, attempted murder, attempted conquest for sake of showing off. Owns a Dim Sum place, and he lives near the Jolly Roger.
Shenzi, Banzai, Ed: Aided, abetted, and enabled Scar, whom they later murdered. Currently have cubs who were given out as pets by Evie. Apparently they were cool with that (HORRIFYING).
Shere Khan: Attempted murder, assault. Somehow owns a pawn shop, apparently he has a soft spot for Evie (or did when she was a small child).
Smee: Aiding, abetting and enabling Hook. Has a son, named Sammy.
The Evil Queen, Grimhilde; Dark magic, attempted murder. Has a daughter named Evie.
The Ringmaster: Animal abuse. (REALLY. THIS GUY WAS NOT EVIL. HE DID HIS DARN JOB, YOU CAN’T HAVE AN ANIMAL BEATING CHILDREN EVEN IF THEY’RE INCREDIBLY ANNOYING. I guess he was cruel to Dumbo afterwards? Still. Adam. Harsh). Has a daughter named Hermie.
Tick Tock: Attempted murder I guess? Has a bunch of baby crocs, apparently refuses to eat Harry’s hand.
Ursula: Attempted coup, dark magic, abuse of power, attempted murder, false imprisonment if turning people into weeds is illegal. Has several daughters, most of whom are violinists, but one of whom is Uma, a pirate captain. These days she only sits on her couch watching soap operas and occasionally chasing out Ratigan, leaving the store to her ‘useless’ child, Uma (I’m bitter, can you tell?).
Yzma: Attempted coup, attempted murder, dark magic, faking a death, scamming. Has two children at least, a girl called Yzla and a boy called Zevon.
We need to get rid of this "customer is always right" bullshit.
The customer is right when they don’t want pickles on their sandwich.
The customer in NOT right when they scream at and belittle a cashier for five minutes just because they didn’t get their way.
Catering to one person no matter what they do just to please them so they will “keep coming back” is not how the real world should work (sadly people carry this mindset out of the store with them too. It teaches them it’s ok to act this way when it’s not. It’s enabling and archaic and disrespectful to those who “just have to stand there and take it”).
We can all have some fucking respect for each other as human beings and still have a jolly good time.
CS Pillow Talk - in which Killian asks Emma about his wish realm counter part
Here is my first attempt at a pillow talk fic for Captain Swan. I don’t know if many of these have been written since the original post, but I really liked the idea by @captainjayharkness from this post, for quiet talks between Emma and Killian as they share their bed. Unbeta’d because I just wanted to post this thing, all mistakes are mine. Rated M, but just barely, 2k words.
They lay there in bed, a warm, comforting ambiance surrounding them in their sated state. It was late into the evening and the only light present was the moonlight shining through their window, illuminating them in pale shades. Facing each other, they each wore a silly smile, stupidly happy over an uninterrupted moment to partake in each other. Killian’s expression became pensive as he continued to stare into his true love’s eyes.
“What is it, Mr. Jones? I can read you too, you know? Something is stirring in that head of yours,” Emma told him, then took his right hand in her left and laced their fingers before bringing their joined hands to her heart.
“Well, I was just…” he trailed off, unsure where to start. He didn’t want her to think he was being ridiculous.
She unlaced their fingers and put his hand on her bare chest, at her heart, then brought her hand to his face to caress his scruffy cheek. “Anything, Killian, you can say anything to me.”
He chuckled at her ability to put him at ease with such simple words. “Okay. Remember when we traveled back to the Enchanted Forest to save your parent’s future?”
Emma nodded her head, smiling fondly at the memory.
“And when we were written into Isaac’s story? Camelot, the Underworld, even the beanstalk-”
“Yes, babe, I remember it all. Why?”
Killian took his hand from her heart and wrapped his arm around her torso, mirroring the closeness he wished to speak about, “In each of those scenarios we found each other, saved each other, or made quite the team fighting off evil. We were more together than apart, like the universe was telling us that in any time or place, you and I were meant to be.”
Emma didn’t know quite where he was headed, but she waited patiently, caressing his cheek.
“You haven’t told me much about what went on in the wish realm, but I do know we crossed paths. And, well, I was just wondering if there was any connection between us, as there always has been?”
28 & 29 April 2017
I just read about a 12-year-old Australian rock climber, Angie Scarth-Johnson, who is already the best junior in the world and is set to eclipse the world women’s competition as well. Not your average tween girl! To have the mental and physical strength to attempt Grade 34 climbs is remarkable.
I, on the other hand, was screaming after a 00:02:30 wall-sit haha! (I might add it was deeper than the high-angle photo shows - 90° or nothing lol - and I was still jolly at the 30s mark. 😂) This was a Healthy Challenge Group flash challenge - I also did bicycle crunches and pushups - but that has been the extent of my exertions, other than client demonstrations. (I try to make those count; not just go through the motions.)
I have been suffering with my bowel disease as a result of the (truncated) antibiotics course for persistent facial dermatitis. I have been getting up many times in the night and was late for work every day this week. Such is the life of a spoonie with an invisible illness because, of course, I look perfectly normal, but my reality can be extremely painful and messy. The worst part is the fatigue.
In my work, I listen to the difficulties others are experiencing and help them improve their lives by building their strength and fitness. One thing that makes me good at my job is empathy and understanding; I do know how hard it is to find the energy to exercise - do anything - when you are struggling to put one foot in front of the other. When I feel low, I think of what I tell my patients and try to practice what I preach. I can be bright for them, so I should be bright for myself! I inspire them but they inspire me too.
Last night was particularly bad so this morning I passed up the Autumn Liv Ride (such a beautiful day too) and started my day with a 15 minute meditation. I am pretty pleased that I am showing perseverance with the meditation because I think it might be a keystone for improvement, and, as I’ve noted before, the science concurs.
I also plan to get a bit more running in this winter so treated myself to the humorous SunFrog leggings and their ‘Ohhhhhh Shift!’ tee-shirt, which pretty much sums me up on hills.
The food porn is smashed avocado at Doric Street Café, my new favourite place.