still inlove with me

5

The Lovers Oracle by Sulamith Wülfing is probably the strangest little oracle deck that I have. Bought it quite some time ago already. The art is absolutely stunning but the cards do not hold messages. On the backs, they all feature a question that you can ask your partner. Things like - “Are you still inlove with me or are we good friends?” - “If there’s a person in history I would’ve liked, who would it be?” - “When you are experiencing deep pain, do you feel carried by me?” - and much more. I haven’t used the deck at all and I knew that I most likely wouldn’t but I had to take it with me. The cards were and are just too beautiful. Couldn’t pass it up! Anyways, I wanted to show you guys this pretty little deck. ⭐️

Insecurities (Stiles Stilinski Imagine)

Request: Can I please have a cute Stiles imagine? Insecure!reader and Stiles reassures her that he thinks she is perfect in her own way and that he likes her not Lydia. Fluffy idk :)

 A/n: request are open, so feel free to request an imagine! Enjoy x
P.S I kinda wanted to do turn this in a smut but idk should i? let me know!

 Every day, when i gave one look at the mirror, the same thing popped in my thoughts; my hatred for my own body. It was something i always had struggle with. But this past year i slowly learned how to love myself, until you saw him with her. 

The past few days Stiles had been hanging out with Lydia very often. Normally i didn’t care who he hangs out with but something changed when i saw the way he looked at her.

He used to look at me like that. He looked at Lydia with so much love that it hurts watching him. I thought he loved me but clearly he’s still inlove with his first love. You never truly get over them, do you?

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2 life conflicts RN

1) my cat brings me so much love and joy but to see her I have to see a very toxic and abusive person who always drags me down and also enables my bad habits/self destructive behaviours
So do I
A) still go see my cat at the inevitable detriment to my mental health and personal growth/progress
Or
B) make the sacrifice not to see my cat until I can have her back for my own well being

2) I was best friends with someone, we briefly dated it wasn’t working I called it quits and they’re still mourning and essentially I don’t feel anything
A) try and reconcile the friendship like they wanted despite the fact they’re still inlove with me and in pain
B) just give up on what was a great friend and despite losing that and them probably hating me doing what’s best for them

Trying to do the adult thing and the right choices. I know the right choices are b) but the right choices can be, and often are, the hardest to make.

anonymous asked:

same shit happened to me i dated my childhood bestfriend and yeah it was fun while it lasted but i lost feelings for him and he's deadass still inlove with me, i broke up with him a year ago man ... lol but i wanted to still maintain the friendship but it was sooo complicated everytime i hung out w a guy or girl he would be so fucking shady and a dick to me lol we would argue so much but i just learned to live with it cause i really do love him so much and i don't wanna lose him.

Wow. Sounds complicated and romantic at the same time Lovey…💔💖

“I love you too” (Stiles Stilinski Imagines)

Originally posted by findyourownhappyending

Request: So first off i love your blog sooooo freaking much <3 Okay, so if it’s not too much trouble could you do a Stiles imagine where you have been best friends since ever and you always had a crush on him. One night you just randomly come to his house at night while its raining and just have a full on rant about how it’s always Lydia or Malia that has his heart and she’s jealous and just heartbreak and than he admits he feels the same way and fluff? <3 <3 Sorry if it’s complicated

A/n: it’s not complicated at all! Thank you so much for requesting this! Sorry if it’s kind of short, I wrote this at school. And wow I suck at titles.But anyways I hope you like it x

The worst thing about falling for your bestfriend is the fact that you can’t tell them, not wanting to ruin the friendship. So you’re forced to keep your biggest secret from the one person you can tell anything to, and that breaks you. 

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~Requested imagine for Queen_foryou~
“is it too late now to say sorry”


I sighed again looking down at my phone
J- Don’t ignore me
J- please baby, I love you
J- if you love me you would do anything to be together
J- just call me when you can
“ let me guess it’s him again, I thought I told you to not stay in contact because it will make it harder” my manager says annoyed snapping me out of my gaze, making me look up at her
“I know I know, I haven’t answered” putting up my hands in defence rolling my eyes
“ well for a start maybe you should stop looking so miserable and get ready for your fashion sho-” I cut her off by standing up, taking my phone and mumbling a “I know” walking towards my dressing room
“ and also stop being rude, this isn’t just like any other fashion show you know, you are the host, you need to promote your designs not how to promote being heartbroken. That shit doesn’t sell” she basically screamed as I shut the door on her shutting her out, honestly I don’t even know how she got the job, she is crazy.
I just don’t understand how not having a relationship is going to make me more focused on designing and promoting! It’s not like I have to promote my body to everyone she just… I don’t know, life confuses me. My phone buzzes in my hand as I glance at it, that reminds me I haven’t seen Justin or spoke to him in a few weeks. You see this is where it all started, both of our managers going behind are backs arranging things sometimes I think we’re only here to be there puppets, as I was saying me and him had to break up and not stay in contact for us to be concentrated on more ‘important’ things, you should of seen Justin he went full on rage at Scooter his manager, honestly I thought scooter would give in after the show Justin put on but nope work comes first, no distraction.
Your probably thinking why don’t we be sneaky, well I hate having relationships like that! You can’t kiss or hug when you want to and I can’t do that, I just can’t. Justin is so important to me, it’s been 1 year and 2 months since we have been together. Those last weeks have been hell for me, having someone so close to then it suddenly changing to never seeing eachother. The amount of times I put my finger on the send button but then stopped, Justin hasn’t text that much except from those few texts he occasionally sends but that’s it. I feel like he has to do that just so he doesn’t seem like a bad guy… Oh yeah I forgot! 2 days ago there he was on the front cover with his new lover I can’t even remember her nam- *nock,nock* “sweetie I need to do your makeup, I’m now coming in”
I quickly wiped my tears away and snuffled a bit and turned around as my makeup artist closed the door, I smiled at her as she turned her head to the side a little giving me a sympathetic smile “ come on let’s glam you up, get you ready.” She said making me giggle walking over to sit down on the plush seat
“ Since I’m so kind” she said smirking devilishly “no mirror to look in until I’m done with you, I’m deciding on your makeup to tonight your going to look gorgeous” I just smiled laying back getting comfy. Let’s see how this ends up.

JUSTIN POV:
I let out groan looking at my phone as I get no answer, why can’t life be easier “ yo man cheer up, at least your going to support her, you can try talk to her, sort things out maybe even have makeup sex” Za says jokingly nudging me on my arm I just shook my head and looked out the window of my new laferrari… I can remember when she picked the colour

*Flashback*
“Noooo Jay this one, please maybe we could even…” She says suggestively stroking the bonnet of this very sexy looking car
I just squinted My eyes at her as I find it so hard not to give in
“Pleaseeeeeeee baby, pretty please” pouting her kissable lips, great! Do you see what she does to me, she makes my stomach flutter so bad “only for you, and you owe me” I said winking grinning like a loved up ladybug, what? Ladybugs are adorable insects, to be honest they are the only insect I like.
*End of flashback*

I huffed checking my phone again, she confuses me so much I just want to be with her with no troubles in the way. I understand that I need to concentrate on my album but to remove me from someone who inspires me to even write some of my songs is stupid!
I’m human, I should make choices like Scooter makes his, I close my eyes and massage my temples feeling a headache coming on. I have been so stressed lately that I just need to go see my girl if she still even is and just hold her and tell her everything will be okay. Maybe she needs to hold me too, I’ve been so lost without her it’s scary to even think about “Justin, Justin , OY JUSTIN” “ Ow, shit what?” Rubbing the side of my head from the smack Za just gave me…I didn’t even realise my car door had opened “ we are here you love sick puppy” i kicked him in the leg at his petty joke and got out of the car straightening my jacket “you ready bro” Za says patting me on the back I just take a deep breath in and enter the arena.

Y/N POV:
I peeped through the curtain for the second time watching the crowd getting larger and larger, my nerves building up with it. I took a look back at all the models lining up and being organised for the show, they are looking stunning, I have to say I’ve done myself proud. One of my design caught my eye, Justin helped design that one, speaking of Justin he said he got tickets for the front row but this was a month ago… Shit what if he is here! That totally makes my nerves come down NOT. Shaking me head I quickly sipped my water, placing it back down on the mini table beside me “ y/n your on in 1” my managers stupid loud voice shouting from across the room
“ yes miss , because I have to do what you say because your the boss and your gods gift” I bitched under my breath just as a sudden shove on my shoulder made me snap my head up watching her walk past…is she a witch or something “ yes y/n I am gods gift now go!” Flicking her hair and walking away. What a manipulative cow- calm down y/n just breathe in. Just get on with the show.

The curtains open as I compose my posture taking a deep breathe. Claps where heard as I started to make my way down the runway smiling as I walked past judges “ Ladies and Gentleman I would like to welcome you all to the 2015 fashion show” whoops and cheers spreading “ I would like to mention that there are 6 categories, yes Gentlemen” I said winking “ there are 6 categories so don’t get to hot in this arena” everyone laughing at my sexual joke “anyways keep your eyes out for the best design well I’m hoping they all are but I want you guys just to relax and enjoy the show but don’t get to comfortable I’m sure these ladies will be keeping you on your toes” “ what like you are?” I heard someone from the audience making me giggle “ ahhh you will see” I said winking and blowing them a kiss walking back down the runaway swaying my hips and walking behind the curtains. I walked past the models that where now entering the stage and slumped down on the sofa next to my makeup artist “ hey kiddo, you should have seen how sexy that wink was” she said looking at me making me chuckle “ meh it was strictly business” answering back “ that’s what they all say” teasing me as I laughed and turned my attention on the TV in front of us which is live streaming my show. This is such a blessing doing what I love and making people happy, this is my job, I’ve just got little faults in my life that I need to mend but otherwise I’m feeling perfect.


After 30 minutes or so watching the models walk back and fourth it was now a 15 minute break for everyone just to get up and stretch , get drinks and everything.
Pouring myself a coffee from the machine I felt a tap on my back making me turn around and accidentally spill my drink over them “ oh my gosh, shit I’m so sorry let me just get something to wipe you with” I said frantically looking around for something as I saw some napkins reaching for them but being stopped by my arm being grabbed. I looked up.
Those eyes that I’m still Inlove with looking down on me, it felt like we had been staring for minutes, hitting reality… Fuck he is here, he actually came! Fuck I’m trying so hard not to smile, God I missed his smell “ hey baby” his raspy voice came out making my body go to complete jelly.
I cleared my throat and stood up straight “ I was just getting you a nap-” “ I don’t care , I just want to talk to you” he said cutting me off “ um I don’t think that’s a good ide-” “ how is it not, you have ignored me for the past 3 weeks only one word would of done, one word just to let me know that your okay, you let my mind go crazy about you , I’m missing you” he spoke cutting me off again , I looked towards the ground feeling upset and a bit guilty “ Jay I mean Justin it’s just that I couldn’t, you don’t understand how much I tried to but i just I don’t know” I whispered still looking down as I felt him lift my chin up to look into his eyes, he let out a sigh and just pulled me into his arms as I let a tear fall onto his shoulder. Kissing my forehead and rubbing my shoulders he finally decided to speak up “ come on baby, we will talk about this later but today is all about you and I want you to have the best time showing off you beautiful designs, I’m so proud of you baby, so proud.” He mumbled in my hair as we still hugged “we will sort out a meeting with our crews because I need you with me so bad. I’m not letting you do that to me again y/n 3 whole weeks of nothing, what do you do to me?” He spoke again this time letting me go as I look up at the tearful eyed man who I love dearly standing there.
“ promise me we will sort this out because it’s killing me, promise me we will be together.” He whispered staring into my eyes, I stared back as I gulped and stood there for a second, Justin’s face suddenly looking on edge waiting for me to answer but I think I just answered it for him as I slowly connected are lips into a slow passionate kiss. Those butterfly coming back that I missed feeling, we just stood there as we disconnected. I brung my hands up to play with the hairs on the back of his head as I said the two words “I promise”

I can sit here and write about how I can’t stop thinking about you and how I miss your body between my legs and I can write about how the first time I saw you was the first in my life everything felt right or I can write about how bad you broke me a year ago and how I somedays like today it fucks me up or maybe I need to write about how I watched you fall inlove with someone else and my world was crashing and I couldn’t do anything about it but I don’t want to write about it anymore I want to yell at the top of my lungs that I still love you and I let you go because I wanted you to be happy but since then I have been miserable and I want to tell you that the first thing I think about in the morning is you and when I go to sleep at night the thought of you falling asleep in someone else arms haunts me and I feel like I need to tell you that when you call me that it hurts me because your voice does something to my soul and last week when you asked me if I was still inlove with you and I said no so quickly that I was lying
—  “you told me that no one is good enough for me including yourself ” - R’J