i’m currently trying to tackle some schoolwork and my brain isn’t cooperating, which is a bit frustrating. anyway, i wanted to share some photos of my notebooks because they’re cute as heck and i love them a lot! (and i threw in a few-weeks-old selfie because selfie night.)
the black notebook is my bullet journal, my literal saviour when it comes to staying organized. 10/10 highly recommend starting one. the pink one is my mental health journal (which i think the bob and jonty stickers are perfect for) (i like to think of the jonty one as an afterlife reunion and it makes me cry), and i plan on using my new yellow notebook for lil sketches and doodles! i’m trying to get back into doing things i enjoy, like writing and art, because i really haven’t had any hobbies since before i became chronically ill. now that i’m finally at a point where i’m somewhat managing my symptoms, i want to get at least a piece of my old life back. so that’s where i’m at right now! hopefully it goes well.
i’m also working on my bellarke fic recs! part two should be out tomorrow, and you can find part one here. i keep finding more and more stories i want to add, so maybe i can keep this thing going for at least part of the hiatus??? idk.
i hope you guys are having a good week! sending you all a big internet hug.
Hi folks! If you’ve been following along with some of my asks from tonight, you’ve probably noticed some about how the studyblr community isn’t a real representation of studying, or life, in the real world (shoutout to @piratestudy for being able to put this into words better than I ever could.)
sometimes it’s messy notes and skipping class to do work for another, or turning in an assignment late so that you can spend time with you friends. it can be sitting in the back of class scrolling through instagram because you just can’t handle school today. it’s a lot of all nighters and coffee and junk food and less than beautiful study spaces. it’s not always (or maybe even ever) beautiful notes and being totally prepared and having you’re life together all the time. it’s not all avocado toast and calligraphy. and that’s okay.
so let’s get real.
i challenge you guys to post the real side of studying. post the stories about how you overslept and were late for class. post the pictures of your notes before you redo them. post the no-makeup, two am selfies. post your real life, because it’s happening and it may not be perfect but it’s valid and beautiful and the world needs to see it. let’s change the culture from one where people have to ask if the can still be a studyblr if they don’t have certain supplies, to one where people can scroll through their dash and say, “wow! i do that too!” let’s represent those messy times that studyblrs pretend don’t happen. let’s get real.
to join the movement, tag your posts with #studyblrs get real
Being a human being in the age of technology is tough. We are often pressured, without even realizing, to be a certain weight or to have a certain skin color or to dress a certain way. With media literally at our fingertips 24/7 this can be overwhelming and awful, spurring us into negative self-images and low self esteem.
I want to lessen that.
I want you to use the submit feature on my blog and send me a selfie, either of your face or your body or whatever, and I’m going to compliment you. I’m going to tell you EVERYTHING I love about you, and then with your permission I will post your selfie and others will do the same.
If we focus on the positives, if we treat ourselves with kindness, our bodies become better and our hearts become less heavy.
You DO NOT need to be following me. I don’t care if you’re not from my fandom or whatever- that’s not important.
Please REBLOG THIS POST. The more widespread this is, the better. We want to spread ALL THE LOVE!
When you submit your selfie, tell me if you want to stay anonymous or want tagged. Nobody has to know who you are- that’s not the point. The point is to point out all the good things regardless of who you are.
I prefer unfiltered selfies, because the raw you is the one that needs the most love, but filters are fine too.
If you don’t want it posted to my followers at all, I’ll still publicly post compliments if you’d like.
For my followers who aren’t here for this- blacklist “#stanclubs selfie compliments”
This will go on for as long as I’m able to do it. I may schedule posts so I don’t overwhelm the dash, but every selfie I get will be posted.
If you have any concerns please message me!
🖤 you all!
Tagging some mutuals to signal boost (and participate if they wish):
I’m 55, and feeling a bit down despite living on a beautiful tropical island, so one of my mutuals suggested I make a post of some of my selfies from the past five months and blatantly seek validation by asking if I still look okay for my age. (She also chose most of these herself, and argued with me until I added the “silver fox” tag, so don’t @ me–that was her idea.)
The most recent picture is all the way at the bottom right (where my beard obviously needs a trim), and the oldest two are the top ones, but the rest are in no particular order. In the past five months I’ve gone from heavy beard to no beard and then back to having too much beard again.
*The Supernatural tattoo on my chest is a tribute to my late sons, who used to binge-watch the show with me when they were alive.
If you’ve followed me for a long time, you know I used to post selfies a lot (and I really do mean a lot, I was crankin them out like every two weeks if not more). You also might have noticed that I haven't posted a selfie in quite some time. I haven't felt confident in myself to the degree that I was comfortable with putting images of myself online for people to see, I thought that if I posted anything people just simply wouldn’t care or worse, would see me and think “why would you post that picture?”
So, here’s the thing, I’ve never really been completely happy with the way I looked. I always felt like there was something that could be changed or different about me. I felt like my smile didn’t photograph well and my chin was too pointy for how wide my face was. I felt like my eyes squinted weirdly if I smiled too big. When these were my problems, it didn’t stop me from posting pictures, I just did everything I could to hide the flaws I thought I had.
A little after this time last year was when things hit a low point. I had been abandoned at a party by people who I thought were my friends, broken up with by the guy I was seeing, and starting to not feel great health-wise. By Christmas break, I was tired and ready to leave but I began to grow even sicker during that stretch. From January to May of this year I battled a lot of physical and mental illness issues. I was an anxious mess so I wasn't treating myself well and I had entered into a slightly toxic relationship. Because I wasn’t eating well or sleeping on a correct schedule I was getting even sicker and in the span of a month and a half had 2 sinus infections and the flu, which I never really got over for the whole semester. I put on a lot of weight and was never really seen without dark circles under my eyes and chapped lips from blowing and wiping my nose so often. I’m not saying that gaining weight is a bad thing, but I gained weight very quickly and because of health issues and it caused a lot of body dysmorphia.
Over the summer I got back into sports, began to eat healthier, started exercising again, and the biggest thing, I saw someone about my mental health and began treating it in a healthy way. I’ve come to realize that my self worth doesn’t rely on how others think I look. My happiness shouldn’t depend on how others feel about me, it should depend on how I feel about myself. I am the only person who can take control of my life. If I’m unhappy about something in my life that I can change, I should change it. I’ve formed some great relationships, moved into a house with amazing roomates and friends, and I’m dedicating this year to myself and siezing my happiness and opportunities I want.
So, this is me. I am 19 years old, 158 pounds, drowning in school work, and I’m the happiest I’ve been in my life ❤️
SUMMARY: Tomorrow’s the Grand Premiere of Riverdale Season Two Trailer. Although you’re excited to see yourself in the big screen for the first time, you’re also let down by the thought of seeing Cole and Lili together. During the premiere, Cole finally confronts you and turn the tables once and for all.
A\N: Thank you so much for all the love given to Carousel <3 My heart is full x Requests are still open if you would like to read something else. Love youuu guys!
You just got off the phone with Mark. He called you to let you know that he would be dropping off your red-carpet gown at Camila’s place. You asked him if it was mandatory for you to attend the gala, to which he replied was an “ABSOLUTE MUST!”. He further explained how important it was for you to attend the premiere since it will be your first public appearance, your introduction to Hollywood basically.
The thought of having your first red carpet moment excited you but the thought of seeing Lili and Cole together made you miffed.
“Honey! There’s someone at the door for you,” you heard your mom call from downstairs. Weird, how did anyone get your parent’s address?
You head downstairs to find Camila happily chatting with your parents.
They acknowledged your presence once you were down.
”Oh (y/n), your friend here was just telling me about how good you were at work,” your mom happily exclaimed.
“Camila,” you gave her a friendly hug,” What are you doing here?”
She snickered, “ I have my resources. I need you to sleep over tonight.”
“Wait, what? Sleep over?”
“Yeap,” she nodded. “Your mom already gave me a green light,” she winked at your mom.
You gave your mom an odd stare,” Listen, if it’s about the dress, I’ll come over and pick it right up. I don’t think it’s necessary for me to sleep over. Really, it’s fine.”
“No, no, no. You are sleeping over and that’s it! Tomorrow’s a big day,” she smiled and held your hand,” I want your first red-carpet moment to be perfect.”
Camila was very adamant about the sleepover and seeing how excited she was about tomorrow, you couldn’t say no to her. You packed up a few essentials and got into her car.
“Mom!Dad!”, you called out from the car window,” I’m gonna be on TV!”
Sleeping over at Camila’s wasn’t as bad as you thought it would be. Sure, her front porch brought up an unpleasant memory but Camila was a sweetheart!
She let you wear one of her prettiest bathing robe and she even applied her homemade facial mask which she swears to ‘lives’ by.
“Oh my god, we need to take a selfie!”, she exclaims. She pulls out her iphone and randomnly clicks a number of selfies with you.
“This one is cute! I’m gonna post it online.”
You look at the photo. It was a decent selfie of you and her in sleek bathing robes, still covered in her ridiculous face mask.
“What’s your twitter id?” she asks.
“I don’t have one.” you reply.
Her face drops, “Are you serious? Oh my god, we need to create your twitter. Like, now!!”
“No, no. It’s fine. I don’t need it. It’s-“
You should’ve known better than going against Camila. She screeched, made the most adorable puppy dog eyes and tickled you till you said, “FINE. I’LL CREATE ONE.”
Camila immediately posts the selfie of the two of you and tags you in it.
PREPPING FOR TOMORROW WITH MY HUNZ BUNZ, the caption read.
You already started receiving a number of followers, mostly from the Riverdale fandom since word did get out that you’ve been casted as Cheryl’s sister.
Soon after washing up and getting freshened, Camila suggests you go to sleep early since tomorrow is such a big day. You agree and change into your night gown before jumping in bed with Camila.
Buzz. Your phone vibrates from underneath your pillow.
“Who is it?” Camila questions
It was a short twitter notification-
Cole Sprouse followed you.
“It’s no one,” you lock your phone,”Goodnight, Cam.”
“Wow. You look amazing,” Camila gawks at you. You give her a small smile before staring at the your reflection in the mirror.
I must say, the hair and makeup which arrived at 6am this morning definitely did you justice!
You’re wearing a Louis Vuitton gold embroidered lace gown, a very minimal makeup with a strong red lipstick to stand out. Your hair tied up in a neat bun with few strands of hair hanging. You definitely look like a certified Blossom!
“You look amazing as well, Cam.” She’s wearing a short Armani dress in the hottest shade of red!
“Thanks,” she smiles, ”The car’s here. Let’s go.”
You quickly check your twitter before leaving. You decided to follow Cole anyway since you didn’t want him to think that you were still bitter about what happened. You wanted him to think that you were over it. Besides, giving him the satisfaction that he still has an effect on you was the last thing you wanted.
Finally going to see my oompa x , he had tweeted earlier this morning.
Everybody assumed that it was for Lili for obvious reasons. You roll your eyes, ugh, reading the “awww.. He and Lili are so cute together” comments made your stomach sick.
You lock your phone and head downstairs. A white Limo had arrived to pick you and Camila up.
You decide not to let your feelings for Cole get the best of you. Today is your day.
“I hear Cole and Lili are going to walk the red-carpet together.” Says Camila
Your stomach sicknes, “Oh. Oh yeah? Good for them.”
“Are you over him?” She asks, your eyes widen in confusion. “What?”
“You know, Cole. Are you over him?”, she retorts.
“What do you mea-“
She cuts you off, ”C’mon, it was pretty obvious that you had a crush on him.”
“So wait, you knew I liked him?”
“Pretty much, everyone did.”
You sulk,”Whoa. Ugh, nevermind. I’m over it.”
“(Y/N),” Camila tightens the grip on our hand, “It’s okay. We all go through it. Remember, today is your day.”
“We’re here,” the chauffer declares.
The paparazzi was insane! They huddled towards the car the moment you got out of it. It was terrifying at first but then you slowly got a hold of it. You smiled confidently at the camera. The photographers were lovely! They commented on how fabulous you looked and how perfect their shots of you were.
You and Camila walk the red-carpet together and happily pose for the photographers. You could see Casey, Ross Butler and other cast members from a distance.
“Lili!”, Camila waves to the other side. Lili and Cole stood together hand-in-hand. You heart fell apart at the sight of them. They looked so good together. Their eyes spotted you and Camila. Cole’s eyes widened after his eyes met yours.
Camila began walking towards them but you let her hand go.
“I’ll come later,” you give her an assuring smile.
No way you’re going up to Cole and Lili. As if seeing them together wasn’t heartbreaking enough.
You smile and wave at Lili but decide to ignore Cole’s eyes.
“(y/n)!(y/n)!” you hear the reporters call you. You smile and walk towards them, “Hi!”
“You look stunning, (y/n)! What are you wearing today?”, the friendly blonde reporter questions.
“Thank you so much. I’m wearing Louis Vuitton!” you confidently reply.
“Wonderful! So, before heading off, what can you tell us about your role as Cia Blossom?”
“Okay so, I’m playing the role of Cia Blossom. She’s the new Blossom in town. She’s definitely nothing like The Blossoms, as you can already tell by my hair colour- it’s not red!,” you wittily reply.
The blonde laughs in response, “Oh hey, Cole Sprouse everyone!.”
You shudder at the sound of his name. You hadn’t even seen him coming.
Cole stood just few inches next to you. Lili and Camila, you noticed, were far from sight.
“ We were just talking to your new co-star, (y/n)” the reporter informs Cole.
Cole smiles brightly, “Yeah, she has been amazing throughout!”
You want to barf. Look at him , trying to sound so sweet around all these reporters.
You just continue to smile at the cameras nearby, completely avoiding any eye contact with Cole.
“(y/n), one last question!” the blondie says, “Are you a Bughead shipper? Were you surprised when you heard that Cole and Lili were dating?”
You face immediately drops. The dreaded question. You could feel your stomach tighten and your eyes flutter.
“(y/n)..” you heard Cole whisper to you, “You don’t have to-“
You cut him off.
“Of course,” you place the biggest fake smile on your face, “I’m a bigtime bughead shipper. I mean, who isn’t? I wouldn’t say I was surprised when I learnt about their relationship,” you look up at Cole and smile, “They have great chemistry in set so you know.. It was a pleasant surprise. We’re all very happy for them. Thank you.” You lie through your teeth and leave the scene. You could almost hear Cole’s voice call your name but you decide to let it go.
You thought you could do this but you can’t. Because truth is, no matter how much you pretend to be okay with it- you’re not. The thought of Cole with someone else sickens you. The thought of Cole treating someone else the same way he treated you makes your knees weak. The thought of him kissing someone else, the thought of him taking someone else to his favourite places- all of it. It makes you frail.
As much as you want to leave everything and go home, you know better than to cause a scene during your first public appearance. You plan, however, to leave the instant the screening ends. You’re not strong enough to attend the after-party and be surrounded by people talking about how well Cole and Lili compliment each other.
Inside the theatre, you were seated between KJ and Casey, Cole sitting next to KJ. When you approach to your seat, Cole stands up on seeing you. But so does KJ. You haven’t seen KJ since the last day of shooting. During the ride home, he didn’t bombard you with questions at all. He remained a gentleman and respected your privacy.
You look up at them in awe. How courteous. They didn’t have to stand up.
“(y/n).” both of them says in unison and give each other an awkward look.
“Hey,” you give a half smile before sitting yourself down.
“You look stunning, by the way.” KJ whispers into your ear. Cole clears his throat.
“Thanks,” you smile at him,” You look handsome yourself.” You say it loud enough for Cole to hear. And he did. You find him staring at you, but you turn away from his gaze.
The trailer starts.
It was a 3 minute trailer with a lot of cliffhanger! You saw yourself in the screen for the first time and damn, were you proud of yourself!
It showed scenes of you, KJ and Camila at Pop’s. There were hot make-out scenes between KJ and Camila. The trailer ended with a scene of Cole and Lili kissing.
Normally, you wouldn’t feel anything since it’s all just an act but after what Cole did to you, watching him kiss another girl made your heart weak all over again.
After the lights came back on and the screen went black, everyone stood up and cheered. It was a good tease.
Even though it was a good trailer and you were proud of yourself, you couldn’t stand one more minute with Cole and Lili. The atmosphere made you sick.
“Excuse me,” you told KJ and tried to make your way out.
“Hey, aren’t you coming for the after party?” asked KJ, just then Cole got up and turned towards you.
You decide to ignore him. “No, I don’t think so. I have to leave..,” you turn away and see yourself out.
“(y/n), wait!” you heard Cole call. “Later.” you wave at him and leave.
After coming out the theatre, you let out a huge breath. Wow, that was suffocating. Seeing Cole and Lili together was way worse than you had actually hoped to feel. You begin to wonder if agreeing for the third edition of Riverdale was a good idea.
You were just about to leave the scene when- You see Cole run towards you.
“(Y/N)!” he call out, panting.
You turn away and try to leave as quickly and as unnoticed as possible.
“Wait!” he grabs your hand.
You turn to face him, “Hey,” you avoid his eyes, “I have to leave. Something came up.”
“Why won’t you look at me?”, he questions, still holding your hand tight
“Cole, I don’t think this is a good ide-“
He cuts you off, “How long are you going to run away from me?”
You try to let go of his hand but he wouldn’t let you, he strengthens his grip on you.
“Cole,” you sigh,” Now is not a good time. I have to-“
“Then tell me WHEN, (y/n)!” he increases his tone, “You won’t return my calls, my messages, you even went as far as changing your number so I wouldn’t call you. I even came to your apartment but it was locked! So tell me, (y/n), when is a good time, since all you do is try to run away from me.” He slowly lets go of your hand and embraces your arms. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. But you don’t have to take such drastic measures to get rid of me. Tell me, do you really hate me that much?”
You finally look up at him. Holding back your tears, you look at the guy who once enveloped you on the prettiest bridge.
“I love you,” you turn away, “or loved, I don’t know. I can’t do this. I can’t. Loving you hurts.”
“(Y/N),” he says in a low tone, “I-“
You wipe your tears and cut him off, “It’s okay. It’s really okay, Cole.” You smile at him,”I don’t hate you. You and Lili are perfect for each other.”
“Perfect,” he scoffs, letting go of your hand,”It’s all just an act!”
“My agent, the producers, they all want me to date Lili for some reason to increase the ratings for the show.”
“So, is that why you…”
“Yes. (y/n), you have to believe me. I would never ever hurt you. I’m sorry for what I did to you, I shouldn’t have. I had no right to do that. I just thought that it’d be easier for-“
“Yeah, you thought it’d be easier for me to forget you.”
He nods. He intertwines his fingers onto yours. “I’m sorry.”
You let go of his hand. “You know what’s the worst part?”
He widens his eyes, “(y/n).. please don’t do this.”
“The worst part isn’t the fact that you broke my heart in the way of obeying your agents and producers,” you take a deep breath and look away as your continue,”The worst part is you thinking that I will not, not even for a sec, understand you. Seems to me that you don’t even kn- “
You hear paparazzi prepare to huddle outside the theatre. You quickly wipe your tears away. “I have to go.”
“NO,(Y/N).” Cole protests, but you decide to leave anyway.
You make your way towards the car, smiling and waving at the cameras on the way.
“Great job, (y/n)!” you hear some of them comment.
“Thanks,” you smile at them.
You were just about to get into your car when you felt a hand pull you from behind.
Your eyes widen in shock to find Cole firmly taking hold of your body.
In front of everyone.
You’re too shocked and surprised to protest or to question his motives.
“I forgot something,” he says, pulling you closer to him,” I love you”.
He pulls you in for a deep kiss in front of all the cameras.
They were bawling. The fans were screeching. Everyone shocked at what they were witnessing right before their eyes!
You could hear Cole’s agent Frank yell at Cole from behind but Cole really couldn’t care less.
He slowly breaks the kiss, only to find your wide eyes still gawking at him in shock.
He simply smiles at you, “So much. I love you so much, (y/n). Please let me fix this. Please give me another chance. I have missed you so much.”
A/N: I originally planned on ending the story this way, but then I wondered if you guys would like to know what happens next? What do the media make of it?What do you make of it? What does Betty make it? And Cole’s agents & producer’s wrath at his bold move. Just let me know if you would want another Carousel haha, I would be more than happy to write it x It’s fine if you guys think the story should end this way. Thank you so much for all the love <3
After she gets her degree and gets on her grind, Marinette is definitely That Girlfriend. You know the one that posts full-length mirror selfies wearing super-fashionable business attire, clutching a travel mug/planner/etc, but you can totally see her shirtless s/o still passed out in bed behind her? And her caption is probably something innocuous like “Ready for whatever today brings! :)” but she discreetly tags her partner like damn… power move…
My bias Coco is so cute! I needed my sister’s dog to do this though xD I do not know how Coco’s mommy does these selcas in the most awkward position but still looks cute :( Ignore me and pay more attention to Coco and Buggzie ^^ I should have put a bow on him xD if only i had some
Left is me about 6mo. Pre HRT, right is me now about 5 ½ months in. I can’t see a difference but, according to some folks I’m unrecognizable.
On the other hand, mentally I’m happier and healthier than I’ve ever been. I have an amazing girlfriend whom I adore (❤️ @khaleesi-gem ❤️) Every day I wake up and see new life and opportunities ahead of me, and I have goals that no longer seem like half faded dreams looming in the distance.
Today isn’t a major milestone. It hasn’t been some significant fraction of a year, and today wasn’t the first time I passed in public or advanced my life in some meaningful way. On balance it was kind of a dull day filled with more daily annoyances and frustrations than good things. But it still feels like a good day, a day where I can get ready to sleep and feel happy and satisfied, added to an ever growing sea of them, where they haven’t existed before.