still in love with your everything

Ok so I love how even after everything, tony still believes in accountability. You make a mess of things, you don’t get to keep the suit because you have to be accountable for your actions. It’s the lesson Tony learned in IM1 and it’s such an important part of his character, no matter how badly everything with the accords went he still believes in it and sticks to his guns. Even if it means disappointing his Peter/his surrogate son/one of like 2 friends he had left

i look at you
and i see
the sun
burning bright, powerful, illuminatingly captivating
and i look at me
and i see
just a single star in your galaxy
bright, but not bright enough to make an impact
  you shine
and i am dim
you glow
and i am dull
you are colorful
and i am grey
you are magic
and i am mortal
everything you are
i am not
i can only hope
that you still love me
despite that
—  Anonymous said: could you write something about feeling inadequate to a friend but you still love them?
(cc, 2017)
Melt

Hi guys I’m running dry on inspiration right now so please feel free to give me ideas…. this one is so cliche but it’s kinda cute…. have a lovely everyday

—————————

8:34pm
Your phone buzzed
‘Y/n Shawn needs you’ Aaliyah texted in you. Even in your post shower - pre coffee pyjama state of course you would drop everything for him.

As you went to knock on the door of the Mendes household it swung open with Karen staring back at you.
'Hey love thanks for coming, he is at his desk in his room’ she said in a happy but still slightly concerned voice.
Even though you and Shawn were not dating he was still one of your best friends and always had your back so you were just merely returning the favour. As you trailed up the stairs you gently tapped on Shawn’s door in a little melodic tune that you always did, that was kind of an inside joke between you as it was the rhythm he used for inspiration to write Ruin. He had his headphones in with his cheeks flushed red and tiny droplets on the paper in front of him, he was a mess. Finals were due on Monday and considering it was Saturday night you cold understand why. He slowly plucked out his headphones as he swivels in his chair to face you, sitting on the corner of his bed. Words need not be shared, you could see it on his face what the problem was. You reached over and closed his book while picking up the guitar and just started playing…. silence still between you. You both just sat there and listened to you just play random chords.

Eventually he softly said your name and reached out to take the guitar off you while placing it down on the floor and shifting to sprawl lying down on his bed. You slowly laid down next to him…. it was kinda nice and comforting to have him just close like this…. in this moment you just hoped that it was as comforting for him…. you reach over to brush a tear of his cheek… he gently grabs your hand and pulls you in closer… with your faces so close to touching…. you can see the soul and heart behind his eyes. He gently runs his thumb across you lips before sealing the space between them… he tasted like a thousand seas and pistachio flavoured ice cream and you could feel all of his stress and chaos run out of him. You both just smiled as you barely pulled away…. he buried his head in your chest and let out a sigh while letting his world melt around you.
'I’ve been waiting a long time to do that’ Shawn ever so quietly said as he let out a breathless laugh.

Night melted around you both and the next day you spent with paper and books spread out on the bed helping Shawn with his assignments while sharing more laughs and the new addiction of sweet life giving kisses and hugs.

last night i had a thought that consisted of little more than “lesbian blue sargent” which is of course not only canon contradictory but bluesey contradictory which is more than maybe my poor heart can take but also like.. imagine this

imagine blue sargent who’s been told her entire life that when she has her first kiss he’s going to die and well, when your future’s already been written in the stars next to that telltale “he”, you don’t really think about sexuality too hard 

the curse still means everything it did before, that she needs to stay away from boys, and especially away from kissing them and somehow that’s just never been that big of a deal but she know it should be, that she should want it the way other girls do and in a way she does, because she sees that comfort and familiarity and love and wants those feelings for herself but never seems to want the boys that are supposed to come with it

when adam asks her out she says yes, because he’s good looking and polite and maybe this can be something even if they can’t kiss and eventually this warm fondness she feels will turn to something else and she’ll realize that this is how all the other girls felt before they fell in love, that her anomaly was misunderstanding and nothing deeper than that

gansey finds out about her curse. “don’t tell adam,” she says. “it’s like that, is it?” he asks, a little surprised and little playful. god I hope not, she thinks before catching herself. If she doesn’t want that, then what does she want?

she still kisses noah and hopes that maybe she’s found her loophole, that her first kiss was with a boy already dead. but she knows deep down that kissing the incorporeal doesn’t really count as her first. it’s sort of nice in an empty way that leaves her wanting to do it again and again until she can pinpoint exactly how it made her feel and also makes her wish she had never done it at all

it’s because im not in love, she tells herself, it’d probably be different if it was with adam (but she knows, somewhere deep and painful, that it wouldn’t be)

maybe that’s part of why she breaks up with adam, but it’s also because he’s been so angry and lost lately and she just can’t deal with it. she feels bad because she knows he’s hurting and needs someone who can be with him as he goes through whatever this is and part of her wishes that could be her but it’s just not

gansey picks her up not long after because she called him and asked him to and he’s not totally sure if this means he’s taking sides in whatever transpired but blue asked him to be there for her and he knows adam would never. she doesn’t want to talk about adam but that’s ok because he doesn’t want to either so they drive for a while before he finally tells her everything that happened in dc and asks what happened with their breakup

everything comes out in a way she didn’t expect it to, a way she’s been too afraid to even admit to herself. how she wants it to be about the curse but knows that it isn’t, how she knows how deserving adam is of love, and how resentful she’s been of herself for knowing she was never going to be able to give it in the ways he wanted

“well you can’t expect to have chemistry with everyone who likes you,” gansey says. “yeah,” she admits, “but I don’t think that’s it. I just don’t think I like boys.” something drops in gansey’s heart for a moment because despite everything, despite adam, he’s started to notice blue’s soft skin, the way the bridge of her forehead crinkles when she laughs, but he gets over it because this is blue, his friend, opening up in ways he can tell she hasn’t before

“that’s cool” he says, and then after a careful moment, because he knows his words have a way of being unwitting weapons and this is a sensitive topic, “girls then? or nobody?” “girls,” she says with a fair amount of confidence. “okay then I have to ask… that waitress at nino’s? with the dark curly hair? she’s attractive, right?” blue laughs, “yeah.. yeah she is”. gansey nods, satisfied. “ronan wouldn’t give me his opinion.” “well I think there’s other reasons for that.”

so maybe blue doesn’t really date in high school, even as she grows more comfortable and open with who she is. there’s a lot going on in her life between high school and welsh kings and still knowing that gansey is going to die and she might kill him because… well she still saw him on st mark’s eve and true love is pretty much off the table. also, the dating pool for girls who like girls in henrietta is pretty limited but that’s ok because she has a whole future ahead of her and she has friends who she loves and that’s what feels important right now

it’s adam who figures it out once she tells him what happened in that graveyard that night, how a mirror soul like hers and one made a mirror by the ley line like gansey’s cant connect, how this is how the curse and gansey’s not yet dead ghost must intersect. “I mean that makes sense,” blue says when he tells them. “but I don’t see how the kissing part is going to happen. gansey isn’t exactly my type”. they all laugh, but soberly, because they’ve learned not to believe in coincidences

“jane I hope you don’t mind kissing me” he asks her months later with a good nature that doesn’t seem to fit the direness of the situation. and she does, of course she minds, how can she not mind knowingly being used as an instrument of death? but it was too much written in the stars to ignore, that her first kiss would be his last, too sickeningly convenient that she can get her ill fated first kiss out of the way with her best friend who thinks he needs to die

she kisses him, and still holds him like a shouted word, like love, love, love just of a different kind and he falls from her arms

but this is not the end either and gansey wakes up, newly made by cabeswater, and the road trip goes ahead like they had planned before, never really believing they would all be alive to take it. sometimes someone will ask blue which of the boys, gansey or henry, she’s dating. “I’m gay,” she replies matter-of-factly. “me too,” says henry. gansey raises his arms in mock surrender. “I’m surrounded,” he says good naturedly and whoever asked will laugh, sometimes uncomfortably, and apologize

sometimes blue will leave her number for a cute waitress at one of the diners they stop by on the road. it never hurts to try and sometimes it works

logistically nothing has changed. she still can’t kiss gansey. but that’s not really a problem

Update

I know a lot of you guys care and have actually prayed for us. I just wanted to drop another update about my father. Today was the day that the staples came out. Now there is still about two left because of how the scar is. We don’t go back until May, and the knot that was on his head was benign tumor so that’s GREAT news! There might be another surgery to get the rest of what’s in front. Everything is going great, better then I thought it would be going. Thank you for keeping us in your prayers, Love you guys!

anonymous asked:

There are some nights that feel like I’m but a lost ship, victim to the currents of your rage. As if at your hand I’d face my end, willingly so for whatever wrong I’ve done unto you. I’d have died for you a thousand times over but there’s some irony in facing the morning light with you still by my side, warm, the true fire of my soul that ignites a want to live if just to see the emotions in you light up for me one more day.

(Pt 2.)To love the force of nature that you are for just another day that you’ll let me I’d fight to stay atop every wave of anger you sent my way. Navigate every whirpool of emotion you couldn’t quite grasp and every rise and fall of your tides to walk the beaches in the soft morning light when everything has calmed and only slight scars of your wrath remain.- Dazai

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Originally posted by toqaahmed

FUCK YOU, YOU ASSHOLE, I LOVE YOU 

2

Sims No Filter Challenge by butterfly-tattoo

Rules: take a picture of the sim that’s normally associated with your blog (your legacy founder/lead character in your story etc.), now take away all their cc (except their hair, eyebrows, and skin color), then do a before and after picture.

Love my potato sim….she’s missing a neutral shaded highlighter, nose mask, 2 eyeliners, acc. lashes, lipstick, blush, and baby hairs….lmaoo they will never be removed again. And…she has the regular fugly EA skin (if ya’ll cant tell), she looked extra young with cc skin so I never changed it….   

tagged by @sympxls….thanks love <3

Everyone feel free to do this………

I’m sitting here looking at all 193 of you lovely followers and love every inch of you. I want to squish your faces and hug you and pet you and tell you everything will be ok.

On that front… My idea for our 200 celebration is… Headcannons!! I know surprise right?! Lol

Now I’ve assigned ribbons to those that have asked (still open btw). Now I want to share little headcannons about our dear crew and how they accepted their fate.

Let’s do this fam!!

i love you. [delete]
did you ever love me? [delete]
was i just somebody you used to make you feel better about yourself? [delete]
well, here’s me making you feel better about yourself: you’re the most amazing person i’ve ever met in my life. nobody could ever take your place. i love you more than words can say. [delete]
yeah, you fucked me over, but i still think you’re great. i don’t know if that says more about me or more about you. i don’t know if that makes me pathetic or kindhearted. i always saw the good in you. [delete]
i know i didn’t always act like you were important to me. i’m sorry for that. i’m sorry i didn’t shove it down your throat every day, tell you that you were worth everything to me; i’m sorry i held your mistakes against you so much. i’m sorry i didn’t realize you were struggling too. [delete]
you’re still the first person i want to tell anything to. like did you hear who our ex-friend is hooking up with? did you see that facebook status? did you see that car crash on route 29? did you know there are more microbes on your body than people on earth? [delete]
i know i said leave but i really meant i’ll be waiting for you to come back. my friends say it’s not permanent; i can go back whenever i want to. i know i can but i left for a reason. it hurts so much that you don’t want me. [delete]
i keep thinking i can convince you to choose me. who wouldn’t want someone who loves them this much? i want to shower you with compliments just so you realize what you lost. [delete]
but i also want you to know you’re special. i want you to know somebody loves you, even if they’re far away. i want you to know how you lifted my spirits by just existing. [delete]
but then i think: where’s my “i love you”? where’s my “thank you for existing”? where’s my “you’re special” and “i appreciate you” and “you’re important to me”? why am i always the one trying to make this work? why don’t you value me? [delete]
you told me you’d always answer my text messages, probably even in your sleep. i can’t believe someone so goddamn beautiful could do such ugly things. [delete]
—  delete delete delete
I’ve never love someone like this before.” he said. “Someone who doesn’t even need to tell me to catch the stars, because if I could, I would do that—voluntarily for her. This is by far the worst but the best feeling I’ve ever had. I’ve felt as if I’m willing to do anything just to capture your attention, that even if it’s impossible, I will still try to make it possible. You see, I sounded like a superhero, or maybe no. Maybe I sounded more like someone who has a superpower. And yes, I care too much, I feel too much. But loving you seemed never enough because I need to prove it to you. I am not even asking for your permission, though I respect you too much that I will listen and understand everything you’ll say. I’ll catch the stars, follow the moon and give you every kind of flower in this world if that’s what you wanted. But please, don’t push me away. Because I’m scared to be treated like nothing. I’m afraid to feel that I’m not worth it. That I don’t deserve a single glance and smile from you. I don’t know if I can take another heartache. I don’t know if I can still move on, because I’m certain that this is real. That I’m not fooling with myself for what I feel. I’m seriously in love. And I can’t hide it any longer. That’s the reason why—with all the courage inside me—I’m going to say and show how much I love you.
—  ma.c.a // Tell me that there’s a chance for us
4

❝ I am no longer accepting the things I cannot change.
I am changing the things I cannot accept.❞

- A N G E L A   D A V I S

↳ for @girlsvstrump

3

My letter to Rosie (feat. my new Van Gogh stickers!)

QUESTION ONE:
when is a bed not a bed?

when it’s a prison. when it’s a morgue. when it’s 4 in the
evening and you
can’t get out from under the covers. when you just want to study but
every bad thought
is hitting you and all the bruises are showing. nothing is working. you’re tired
but then again
you’re always tired. you’re always tired.


QUESTION TWO:
did he ever love you?


short answer- no
evidence- he’s with her now. he could’ve been with you but instead you’re alone
and you can’t
bring yourself to think of her as anything less than something ruinous,
something with blood on her hands.
you ignore the taste of metal in your own mouth,
like your innocence really is still there after everything.
like hers wasn’t.


QUESTION THREE:
are you going to survive this?


survive what? the divorce or
the emptiness? the way your dad fell out of love with your mom or
the way the boy in next semester’s guitar class is
never going to look at you like you
mean something to him.
survive what?
be more specific. the answer is only yes sometimes.

—  please answer truthfully. this is a test– lily rain 
We used to love each other before. You used to trace my spine and lighten up my world with your smile. We were perfect back then, but everything was ruined. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to win you back. I just want to exhaust the remaining things about you, inside.
You know what, I still hate you after all those years. It’s been six years, to be exact. And every single day, I hate your existence. When there’s a time that I reminisce our past, it makes me feel sick. I don’t know what made me fell in love with you in the first place and how everything went from good to worse. You were the worst thing that ever happened to me.
I hate you for being so selfish and never tried to shut your mouth and let me win an argument. You didn’t hold my hand and stop me from leaving for that night. You just let me walk away and made me feel that you never loved me. You think only about your happiness, you never paid attention to my details. You never asked if I’m still happy, you think only about yourself.
I hate you for painting my world with your colors and made me used to love them. And now you were gone, it makes me insane because I see them every day. I tried to hide everything through smiles, but my eyes never stopped bleeding them. There’s no way I could escape because you planted flowers inside my chest and it continues to breathe your stupid name. I couldn’t breathe on my own.
I hate you for making me believe in your promises that you will stay, no matter what happens.
I hate you for being a part of my life, for scarring my heart with your love. You build walls around me with your kindest words and now that you were in love with someone else, I don’t know how to climb up, explore the world and start all over again. I’m afraid to jump on my own because you made me believe that fear won’t exist if you were here. I’m still afraid.
I hate you for making me in love with your favorite song. After six years, it’s still playing in my head.
I hate you, let me move on.
—  E.J. Cenita, A Letter For Someone I Hate The Most
In you I see everything I love. I hear my favorite songs in your laugh and smell my favorite flowers on your skin. When I look in your eyes I see the river I skipped stones on as a child and when we kiss it feels like the first I picked up an instrument. Most importantly in you I see the thing I love more than anything. You.
—  /Oliver
Just because we broke up doesn’t mean I’m going to regret being with you. I’m not going to regret getting hurt, or crying over you. My heart aches and my throats feels like I’m choking on my own oxygen, but that’s fine. I knew what I signed up for whenever I said yes, and because we both knew deep down it wouldn’t last. But if I could go back to the first day I ever fell in love with you, I’d go back in a heartbeat to relive every memory we ever made. You were the best god damn thing that ever happened to me.
—  An excerpt from a book I’ll never write. (#56)
I’m scared.What if I’m never gonna get over you? What if five years from now, I’m still wishing for you to come back? What if every night whether its 2 or 3 AM, I’m still questioning myself; “Where did I go wrong this time?” Ever since you left, I see you in every little things. I remember how you love kids so much that every time I met one, they remind me of you. I remember you every time I saw your favourite TV shows, your favourite food, or things that you dislike the most. At first it made me smile. But then I remember that everything’s over. We’re over. I can no longer hear you talk about your day. I can no longer see the spark in your eyes every time you talk about the things that you’re passionate about. I can no longer hear your rants, your laughter, everything about you, I just don’t have it anymore. And it hits me. It hits me hard that I could feel the lump in my throat as well as the pain in my chest which would usually bring me to tears.  I’m weak, indeed. You see, it was never easy for me to let go.
—  Excerpt from a book I will never write #1179 // @bynoire on Instagram