still i think he's rather tasty

One Jump (Inuyasha style ;])

“STOP! HALF-BREED!” The wolf who was the captain of the guard shouted as he prowled closer, drawing his sword. “I’ll have your ears for a trophy mutt-face!” he growls. His two lackeys climb up onto the roof behind him smiling menacingly.

Inuyasha looks around him to the other rooftops, then down at the ground before straightening. Wolves circled in the alley directly below him. “All this for a fucking piece of bread?” Leaping from his stationary position towards a window at least fifty feet away, his claws just barely snag the ledge before his foot catches on a stray clothesline, throwing off his balance and sending him plummeting towards the earth through different layers of laundry. Just as he’s about to fall right on top of the slobbering wolves, his hand catches a rope and he swings over them. Luckily he managed to hold onto the bread.

From above he hears the gray haired wolf shout “HEY! YOU WON’T GET AWAY SO EASY!”

“You think that was easy ass-hole?” he says, slowly backing away from the approaching pack of wolves, a pair of underwear draped over his ears, making it look like he was wearing a very ridiculous head-scarf.

Giggles from the matronly ladies gathered around a doorway send him scurrying over to them while wrapping a sheet around his shoulders, hoping for some minimal cover.

“YOU! GO THAT WAY, AND YOU! FOLLOW ME! WE’LL CATCH THAT HALF-BREED IF IT TAKES ALL DAY!” The head wolf yells from the other end of the alley.

“Getting into trouble a little early, aren’t we Inuyasha?” one of the ladies teases

“KEH! I’m only in trouble if I get caught!”

“FOUND YOU!” The wolf declares as he rips the fabric off of Inuyasha.

“Damnit.”

 “This time-!” the wolf is cut off by his head band being roughly shoved over his eyes.

“Back off you big bully!” a small fox demon says as he bounces on the captain’s head.

“ ‘Bout damn time you got here! where you been Shippo?!” Inuyasha demands grumpily, not wanting to admit that he was glad that he had been rescued.

“Well next time I might not show up, how ‘bout that? Then you can just visit the dungeons all by yourse-! Hey!” he says indignantly as he’s yanked away by his tail as Inuyasha runs off.

“Just shut up so we can ditch theses idiots!”

“Gotta keep

one jump, ahead of the breed line!”

He says as he leaps on a barrel next to the white haired wolf, who pulled out his sword and swung it at their heads, missing as Inuyasha backflipped over him.

one swing, ahead of the sword!

I steal only what I can’t afford!

Inuyasha taunts as he swipes the belt holding up the guards pants before streaking off down the alley.

“one jump, ahead of the law-demons!”

He says, skidding to a halt before several snarling wolves.

“That’s all, and that ain’t no joke!”

He jumps away from their snapping jaws onto the nearest roof, the rest of the guards hot on their heels.

“These ass-holes don’t get that we’re broke!”

Inuyasha shouts as he kicks a pile of crates and barrels over in front of them, hitting several of the wolves.

“Half-Breed!”

The captain shouts.

“Street trash! Stray mutt!”

The other two wolves holler at him.

 “Take that!”

The captain says as he chucks giant rocks at Inuyasha and Shippo.

“Just a little snack, guys!”

Shippo calls over at the guards as Inuyasha leaps onto a tall platform. A volley of sharp objects greets his declaration.

“Rip him open, take it back, guys!” (ACTUAL LYRICS FROM THE MOVIE)

The wolves shout as they begin to tear down the platform from the bottom.
“I can take a hint!”

Inuyasha grunts as he leaps into an open window in the next building, landing and immediately sitting on the ledge, Shippo settling on his shoulder.

 “Gotta face the facts, you’re my only friend, Shippo!”

Girls immediately surround them, dancing seductively as they titter. Inuyasha smirks at them.

“Who? Oh, it’s sad, Inuyasha’s hit the bottom!”

They say as they pull him to his feet to dance.

 “He’s become a one-man rise in crime!”

The girls sing-song as they push him in a twirl, spinning him right into the large bosom of the madam.

“I’d blame parents except he hasn’t got em’ !”

She grouches as he pulls away, heading for the next window. Shippo stares dreamily and Inuyasha does his best impression of a lady killers smirk as he beats a hasty retreat.

“Gotta eat to live, gotta steal to eat,”

Inuyasha calls over his shoulder as he exits. Shippo pops his head back into the room.

“Tell you all about it when I’ve got the time!”

He calls to the girls before he’s once more yanked back by his tail.

“One jump ahead of the slow pokes!”

Inuyasha smirks as he bounds off an awning and hides behind a strong-man, mimicking his movements as the wolves run past looking for them.

“One skip ahead of my doom!”

He says before a chorus of gasps lets him know he messed up. 

“Next time I gotta slip past these goons!” 

A grimace on his face he starts running again.

“THERE HE IS!” one of the guards yell as they spot him.

“One jump ahead of the hitmen!”

Inuyasha says as he jumps on the backs of a flock of sheep that is blocking his path. Pausing, he looks over his shoulder to check the progress of the wolves. Inuyasha grins and says 


“One hit ahead of the flock!”

Jumping off the last of the fleecy animals he sticks his hands into his pockets and nonchalantly says to the fox demon on his shoulder 


“I think I’ll take a stroll around the block,”  

He jumps over a man laying on  a bed of nails, chuckling as the wolves practically trample over the poor guy. The two demonic companions zoom past a jewelry merchant and Shippo dives at the stall prompting the salesmen to start shouting at him.

“Stop Thief! Vandal!”

The merchant grabs his wares that Shippo is desperately clinging to.

“Shippo!”

Inuyasha shouts as he snags the back of his vest, throwing the young fox over his shoulder again.

“Scandal!”

A woman shrieks as the guards bowl her over and back Inuyasha and Shippo into a closed door.

“L-Let’s not be too hasty!” 

Shippo stutters at the growling wolves as they close in. The door opens behind them and a fat demoness sweeps Inuyasha up like an infant, while eyeing him like a piece of very tempting meat.

“Still I think he’s rather tasty!”

She rasps  before Inuyasha executes a barrel roll to escape her arms, draping his over the two wolf demon guards looking at them slyly as he sing-songs.

“Gotta eat to live, gotta steal to eat, otherwise we’d get along!”

He ducks away as they swing their swords and shout

“Wrong!”

Before leaping after him only to land in a giant heap as they all collided with each other. Inuyasha and Shippo push giant urns in front of the wolf pack as they scramble after them. Careening down the crowded street the two thieves are chased by the wolves. Spotting a man walking over hot coals, Inuyasha leapfrogs over him, as the guards charge blindly after him, burning their feet and paws in the process. Undeterred they still pursue their prey.

Spotting a possible distraction, Shippo launches himself off of Inuyasha and pulls a sword directly out of a sword swallowers throat, causing the demon to clutch his neck in pain. Ignoring the other demons plight, Shippo lands in front of the two lackeys and swings the sword around menacingly. They grind to a screeching halt.

“Back off! I’m not afraid to use this!”

He threatens.

“He’s got a sword!”

The gray haired wolf shouts as he points to the fox demon in terror.

“You IDIOTS! WE’VE ALL GOT SWORDS!”

The captain rages as he steps forward and draws his own saber. The other two follow suit with a grunt and edge closer with dark grins. His own bravado gone, Shippo smiles sheepishly as he gently sets down the sword before charging after his companion and jumping onto his back, snagging the back of his clothes as the half demon starts running again.

”One jump ahead of the wolf pack!”

Inuyasha shouts as he skids around a corner and takes off down a side street, Shippo barely hanging onto the back of his vest. He barely notices the small cart he crashes through as he races down the street.

“VANDAL!”

The owner of the cart shouts after them.

“One hop ahead of the hump!”

Shippo jokes as Inuyasha backflips over a camel to avoid running into the snapping jaws of the wolves, while he manages to wrap his hands around some of Inuyasha’s mane to keep from falling. Inuyasha manages to land directly on a flight of stairs and wastes no time as he dashes up them, only to grind to a halt as the captain leaps out in front of them.

“HALF-BREED!”

The captain of the guard roars as he swipes at them with a sword, which the half-demon avoids by propelling himself sideways into the building, breaking a hole through the wall and running into the room.

“One trick ahead of Disaster!”

Shippo shouts as he leaps off of his friend and out a window with a poof of pink smoke.

“Scoundrel!”

The guards holler as they swarm in after them.

“They’re quick but I’m much faster!” 

Inuyasha taunts as he streaks after the little fox.

“Take that!”

The guards say as they throw bits of the broken wall at him, the wolves backing him to the window.

“Here goes,” 

Inuyasha sighs as he lazily leans on the window, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Better throw your hand in!”

Shippo shouts up at Inuyasha from out of sight.

“Wish me happy landin'”

Inuyasha says with a lazy salute, as he turns and comically sticks one foot out into the air, as if he plans on just strolling off into the sky.

“All I gotta do is jump!”

He shouts at the wolves as they lunge for him, even as he plummets to the earth, only to be caught by a giant pink balloon that floats with him before they both disappear over a wall with a giant puff of pink smoke and a tiny *pop*. They snicker as they listen to the howling of enraged wolves, knowing that anyone who jumped after them landed in a great steaming pile of shit.



Reprise:
[Inuyasha:] 

Half-breed, out-cast, I don’t buy that, 

if only they’d look closer , 

Would they see a poor boy? 

No-siree 

They’d find out 

There’s so much more to me.

I FIXED IT GUYS!!