still going through my hard drive

If you’ve had 4 glasses of wine and you keep checking your phone with that 1% of hope that he’s as drunk as you and he’s going to text you, you’re not over him.
If you find excuses to drive through his neighborhood, you’re not over him.
If he still crosses your mind every time you post a snapchat and you check to see if he watches it, you’re not over him.
When are you going to learn that telling yourself you don’t care won’t work?
Why is it so hard to accept the fact that something is over and grieve it then forget about it and move on?
What are you going to do when you get drunk and break down and tell him you miss him and he doesn’t respond?
You can pretend you’re over it as much as you want but you’re not actually over it until someone mentions his name and you can honestly say “wow I haven’t thought about him in a while, I wonder what he’s up to.” And until that point, it’s all acting. Just because you don’t talk to him anymore or you stopped throwing yourself at him, it doesn’t mean you don’t still want to. That’s the difference between pretending to be over him and actually being over him. You have to genuinely not want to care about this person anymore. And that’s the impossible part.
The Signs as Girls I've Fallen In Love With
  • <p> <b>Aries:</b> You were out with your friends. Your smile was so big and so gorgeous. You looked over at me twice, a smirk painted on your round face. You were so cute, you intimidated me a little bit. But you had a softness about you.<p/><b>Taurus:</b> My first girl crush. Your eyes were storms, and your cheeks always rosy. You always made my knees quiver and my heart beat. I miss you. I miss you more than I admit. I wished I kissed you. You're still in my dreams.<p/><b>Gemini:</b> You taught me how to smoke weed in my car on a sunny September morning. The smoke danced through your golden hair and you laughed so hard. Your hands are very soft. I remember you coming into my room at 6 in the morning, wanting to go for a drive. I hope your head is clear. I hope you're still laughing.<p/><b>Cancer:</b> Charming, magnetic, warm. You were always so warm. The time I saw the small of your back when you lifted your shirt is still alive in my memory. Your smile could stop the rotation of the Earth. I'm sure it has.<p/><b>Leo:</b> I saw you in a photograph. The brightest smile I've ever seen. So radiant that the sun should hang her head in shame. Glowing. Always glowing. I've only ever wanted to be in your arms. You are so alive in my imagination. I hope you're alive in reality.<p/><b>Virgo:</b> I caught your eye in a mirror. You were so beautiful and so eager. Your steely resolve melted my heart. I was standing against the wall, admiring your determination. I'm sure you saw me. I thought about saying hi, but you probably would have walked away, leaving me to imagine an intoxicating conversation.<p/><b>Libra:</b> I saw you at a concert. You smiled so much, and your eyes were so bright. I lost myself in them. Our eyes met a million times that night. You returned my smile and blushed a lot. I wanted to find you after the show, but you disappeared.<p/><b>Scorpio:</b> I've always wanted to kiss you. So passionate. So loud. So unique. Always moving. Always working to be a better you. I admire you so much and have wanted not only to be you, but to be with you. You would probably break my heart. I would love to be broken by you.<p/><b>Sagittarius:</b> You were always running. You always sat a little too close to me. You always talked a little too loud. You were so electric. Sometimes I still picture you, you always looked like a painting. I hope he paints you.<p/><b>Capricorn:</b> Quiet. But there was something brewing there. You walked around like you owned the place, and I wanted to run with you. You wouldn't let anyone break through to you. I wanted to so bad. I hope you know that.<p/><b>Aquarius:</b> I love you. I'm so in love with you. I haven't stopped thinking about you since the day we met. I trust you. So beautiful and so weird. I love the way you talk and the way your eyes shine whenever you smile. I'm so caught up in you. I love you more than any girl on this list.<p/><b>Pisces:</b> You don't believe it but you are so very important to me. You have so much to offer this world. I want you to believe in yourself the way I do. So strong. You love more than anyone I know.<p/></p>
Cha Eunwoo for Ceci (2017 March issue)

How do you feel becoming Ceci’s cover model?
I feel extremely good. I really enjoyed myself whenever I filmed for Ceci. That’s why today I thought to myself that I should work hard and hoped for the shoot to come out pretty but becoming the cover model on top of that, I’m happy. 

Going through your many schedules, do you still harbor a greed for (obtaining) licenses? Have you perhaps given it a shot?
I challenged myself to get a driver’s license and am left with the final course. I passed the written and skills tests and even sat in for the practical test lessons. Driving isn’t hard and I enjoy myself whenever I drive.

There’s always a smile plastered across your face whenever you talk. Have you been like that since you were young?
I didn’t realise it myself but the members said that how I smile resembles my dad. But my eyes always disappear when I smile (laughs). So because they can’t see my eyes when I smile, I’ve had a lot tell me that I should open my eyes a little. That’s why I kind of want to fix it.

It’ll be a year since ASTRO have debuted once it’s 23rd February. You must be feeling incredible?
There are honestly so many thoughts that come to me. I’ve had many new experiences and when I look back, there are also regrets that remain. There are also a lot of events that I feel proud about and am thankful for. We’re a year into our debut and picked things up while experiencing just this much so I realised again how amazing are the careers of our seniors who started way before us. A long extent of time is definitely not easy and I felt how they really are of a whole other level.

Having experienced a year (yourself), you would naturally develop a sense of respect for the people who have accumulated their own time before you.
Yup, that’s why I’m determined for us to really become a team who our juniors would want to take after when they see us hitting our own 5, 10 year mark. 

Having debuted and going through promotions, is there anything that you’ve come to learn about yourself?
My stamina and ability to adapt is good. Even in a situation where I feel really tired and burnt out, my stamina that’s been stored away somewhere shows itself. Especially when there are things I need to accomplish the next day, I’ll always think it over before going to sleep. Then preparations for what I have to do the next day speeds up for me. There’s the bit about not being able to sleep because of the nerves but I’m doing image training. Though when I’m tired and become sensitive, everything shows on the outside. Even if I don’t say anything, I make it obvious like a young kid would. When I think about it later on, I feel sorry and see it as my ownself being immature. My dad has always told me to be good at mind control but I think I’ll have to pay more heed in the future. 

After reading your interview about being deeply immersed in your emotions when you film for a pictorial, I got a grasp of how rich you are in emotions.
My younger sibling’s a ‘cold city guy’ kind of style. When I was young, my family would gather amongst ourselves whenever it’s the weekend and we’d all watch a movie together before sleeping. Even though we’ll bet on who’s able to stay up right till the end, my dad would always fall asleep first. My younger sibling would go to sleep if he found the movie boring and only I would watch till the very end. He wouldn’t cry even if we watched a sad movie, only I would show my tears so I did get teased for that. My father would always look at me and say that I was rich in emotions.

Your personality’s warmer than your younger sibling’s.
But seems like my brother’s felt a lot of things as he lived alone in China. I went to the airport to welcome him when he came back to Korea at the beginning of the year and he was crying as he hugged me. Previously on a radio program, there was a corner where we greeted our family members and JinJin hyung cried as he talked about his mum. I thought I’d end up crying too so I talked about my brother and he said that he’s watched the video dozens of times. 

ASTRO’s special album is slated to be released soon and I’m anticipating your fanclub inauguration ceremony too.
I’ve always asked my company when would our official color be settled, when would they be putting out more goods and I think we’re seeing things move along one step at a time now. When Sechskies and Shinhwa seniors made their comeback, it looked really nice how their balloons in the official colors were being waved about. (As he takes out his fanclub’s official card from his wallet) I can show people now too. I’m happy since we can strengthen the bond with our fans.

That’s true. Because it’s not everyone who can pull off holding an offcial fanclub inauguration ceremony.
If up till now ASTRO has shown a bright and zesty image then in our new album, we’ve embraced a slight transformation. Like how a boy matures. We were also fascinated as we filmed for the music video since it was a different concept. So I’m anticipating how the fans would receive it. The album also includes a fan song in which we personally wrote the lyrics for. We’re preparing a choreography for it too. Our album and the fanclub inauguration ceremony, I’m looking forward to it all.

Lastly, are there any words you’d like to leave in Ceci magazine? Anything is fine.
MJ, JinJin, Cha Eunwoo, Moonbin, Rocky, Yoon Sanha, I love you, ASTRO! Let’s win a no.1 on music broadcasts in 2017. Chairing!!

Scans by: WinterDaisY1204

Translations by @99pmh​
Take out with full credits

I’ve seen a couple people doing these and there’s nothing I love as much as a bandwagon, so.

I’ve written 135K worth of CR fic this year, which does not include the drafts still on my hard drive nor the untagged snippits floating around this blog. That’s more than I’ve written in the past three years combined. This time last year I was anxious and dreading the new year and the thought of posting any of my own work scared the shit out of me. (To be fair: it’s still scary, but also so, so worthwhile.) My point is, I owe this fandom a whole heckuva lot.

I can’t go through and list everything, but I can do an Author’s Pick, so I will. Here are my top ten from the past year, things I’m proudest of and had the most fun writing. Hopefully you’ve enjoyed them too.

I really love this community and I’m so incredibly glad (and lucky!) to have stumbled across it. Thanks, Critters.

Cha Eunwoo for CeCi March 2017 Issue


How do you feel becoming CeCi’s cover model?
I feel extremely good. I really enjoyed myself whenever I filmed for CeCi. That’s why today I thought to myself that I should work hard and hoped for the shoot to come out pretty but becoming the cover model on top of that, I’m happy.

Going through your many schedules, do you still harbor a greed for (obtaining) licenses? Have you perhaps given it a shot?
I challenged myself to get a driver’s license and am left with the final course. I passed the written and skills tests and even sat in for the practical test lessons. Driving isn’t hard and I enjoy myself whenever I drive.

There’s always a smile plastered across your face whenever you talk. Have you been like that since you were young?
I didn’t realize it myself but the members said that how I smile resembles my dad. But my eyes always disappear when I smile (laughs). So because they can’t see my eyes when I smile, I’ve had a lot tell me that I should open my eyes a little. That’s why I kind of want to fix it.

It’ll be a year since ASTRO have debuted once it’s 23rd February. You must be feeling incredible?
There are honestly so many thoughts that come to me. I’ve had many new experiences and when I look back, there are also regrets that remain. There are also a lot of events that I feel proud about and am thankful for. We’re a year into our debut and picked things up while experiencing just this much so I realized again how amazing are the careers of our seniors who started way before us. A long extent of time is definitely not easy and I felt how they really are of a whole other level.

Having experienced a year (yourself), you would naturally develop a sense of respect for the people who have accumulated their own time before you.
Yup, that’s why I’m determined for us to really become a team who our juniors would want to take after when they see us hitting our own 5, 10 year mark.

Having debuted and going through promotions, is there anything that you’ve come to learn about yourself?
My stamina and ability to adapt is good. Even in a situation where I feel really tired and burnt out, my stamina that’s been stored away somewhere shows itself. Especially when there are things I need to accomplish the next day, I’ll always think it over before going to sleep. Then preparations for what I have to do the next day speeds up for me. There’s the bit about not being able to sleep because of the nerves but I’m doing image training. Though when I’m tired and become sensitive, everything shows on the outside. Even if I don’t say anything, I make it obvious like a young kid would. When I think about it later on, I feel sorry and see it as my own-self being immature. My dad has always told me to be good at mind control but I think I’ll have to pay more heed in the future.

After reading your interview about being deeply immersed in your emotions when you film for a pictorial, I got a grasp of how rich you are in emotions.
My younger sibling’s a ‘cold city guy’ kind of style. When I was young, my family would gather amongst ourselves whenever it’s the weekend and we’d all watch a movie together before sleeping. Even though we’ll bet on who’s able to stay up right till the end, my dad would always fall asleep first. My younger sibling would go to sleep if he found the movie boring and only I would watch till the very end. He wouldn’t cry even if we watched a sad movie, only I would show my tears so I did get teased for that. My father would always look at me and say that I was rich in emotions.

Your personality’s warmer than your younger sibling’s.
But seems like my brother’s felt a lot of things as he lived alone in China. I went to the airport to welcome him when he came back to Korea at the beginning of the year and he was crying as he hugged me. Previously on a radio program, there was a corner where we greeted our family members and JinJin hyung cried as he talked about his mum. I thought I’d end up crying too so I talked about my brother and he said that he’s watched the video dozens of times.

ASTRO’s special album is slated to be released soon and I’m anticipating your fanclub inauguration ceremony too.
I’ve always asked my company when would our official color be settled, when would they be putting out more goods and I think we’re seeing things move along one step at a time now. When Sechskies and Shinhwa seniors made their comeback, it looked really nice how their balloons in the official colors were being waved about. (As he takes out his fanclub’s official card from his wallet) I can show people now too. I’m happy since we can strengthen the bond with our fans.

That’s true. Because it’s not everyone who can pull off holding an official fanclub inauguration ceremony.
If up till now ASTRO has shown a bright and zesty image then in our new album, we’ve embraced a slight transformation. Like how a boy matures. We were also fascinated as we filmed for the music video since it was a different concept. So I’m anticipating how the fans would receive it. The album also includes a fan song in which we personally wrote the lyrics for. We’re preparing a choreography for it too. Our album and the fanclub inauguration ceremony, I’m looking forward to it all.

Lastly, are there any words you’d like to leave in CeCi magazine? Anything is fine.
MJ, JinJin, Cha Eunwoo, Moonbin, Rocky, Yoon Sanha, I love you, ASTRO! Let’s win a no.1 on music broadcasts in 2017. Chairing!!


Translated by @99pmh | Please take out with full credits!