still chic

I don’t want FP and Alice to ever happen

ducks tomatoes

Hear me out. I often get thrown in with the Falice shippers and while I’m not complaining, I don’t know if I can say I actually ship them.

Let me note before I start rambling… I don’t dislike the ship. I’ve written the ship. I have headcanons about the ship. I’ve eaten up every piece of fanfiction on the ship and loved it. It’s probably the most popular ship in Parentdale so there’s a decent amount of it. I’m just so conflicted.

Let’s start from the beginning. Everyone just flat out says they had a relationship in their past. I’d say… it’s still debatable. My biggest reason being does Alice strike anyone as the type who would let her daughter date the son of her high school boyfriend? Me thinks not. But I can get behind them having a history in their past. It doesn’t bother me in terms of plot… It bothers me because it’s lazy writing.

The show already has one couple (Varchie) with parents that dated in high school (Fred and Hermione). Redoing this same plot with Bughead and Falice just feels like the writers saw that Skeet and Madchen had good chemistry and rolled with it.

But like I said. I can forgive this as long as they don’t get back together as adults.

Go ahead. Look me in the eye and tell me you’d be okay with your mom dating your boyfriend’s dad. Do it. It’s not incest, but you’d better bet it’d be weird. Would it break up Bughead? Probably not but it would still be weird.

And call this point silly, but I don’t want Betty and Jughead to have their families broken up. We know crap about Gladys, so I’m not ready to jump on the hate bandwagon for her yet. Let me meet her first. And call her a bad parent for leaving Jughead (I still feel Jughead chose not to go with her, not that she left without him), but she was escaping an alcoholic husband. As much as I love FP as a character, things were not good before the show started. Jug chose to be homeless rather than live with him for a time. But we see FP does seem to want his family back. His snap about “talk to your mother” and his pipe dreams of moving to Toledo.

We know how much Alice’s family means to her. She’s falling apart the second half of season 1 because of it. Once Polly comes home, she doesn’t need to let Hal back, but she does. The town already knows they were separated for a time, reputation tainted. But she let’s him back. I can’t see her doing that unless (and everyone finds this so hard to believe) they’re actually in love and want to make their marriage work.

But now we have Skeet and Madchen with great chemistry. And Gladys will never be mentioned ever again. And Hal will somehow disappear with zero explanation because no one appreciates Lochlyn like I do. (Okay that’s not true. He said on Twitter something interesting happens with his character this season so lemme cross my fingers.) And FP and Alice will get together causing 10 minutes of discomfort for Bughead before they’re totally over it.

I just don’t want it to happen. Fine, give us their dirty past. It was probably pretty hot. But I don’t want it happening now. These two are cut from the same thread. They’d be a disaster together. Let’s meet Chic, and have Polly come home and have Alice and Hal work through their problems so the Coopers can be happy. Let Gladys and Jellybean move back to Riverdale and throw FP in AA so poor Jug can stop suffering.

prepares for backlash