July 26th 2015, The End.
It hurts to see this all finally come to an end because truthfully there is nothing to show for all of the stress and heartache that was put into it. My messages never got across to George and I ended up destroying myself trying to make this work. I’ll miss him honestly, and I really do still care and wish I could stay committed to him the way that I was but honestly he’s terrible for me and he doesn’t care enough about himself. I’ve started to realize that if he wasn’t the way he is then most of my bad sides in general wouldn’t have been brought out/would’ve improved. I’m really upset that out of all of the people you could’ve proved wrong it was me. For over a year now I’ve not only been waiting for you to change, but I was waiting for you to realize what it takes to be genuinely happy. You were always a negative person, possibly worse than me. But I knew I couldn’t call you out for it until I fixed myself. You should live a life surrounded by people you not only enjoy but can be deep with, you should work hard so that you can feel accomplishment, you should prove the people who care and support you right, you should spend most of your time bettering yourself. I know all of these things for a fact. So with the path you are taking, no I have no faith left that what I was waiting for will happen. After praying to your daughters and your grandfather and friend so much I feel as if I can’t go to them anymore because I asked for too much, if I wasn’t then something would’ve changed. It hurts so much. And I shouldn’t care, I can be much happier, healthier, and more on track without you. But I still don’t want to be another person who just gives up on you. I really wanted to ride this out to the end, have us both be successful and happy. And none of that is going to happen with you anymore. Its painful and bitter. I’ll always love you, you foolish boy. And I really hope you manage to get everything that you want in life. Goodbye Colonel. You’ll always mean something to me even after my last breath,