still a hoax

Daily Monster 158: Rods

Region of origin: Worldwide

Largely acknowledged as a trick of exposure and light affecting airborne particles or insects, some believe these luminous artifacts, invisible to the naked eye but appearing when captured on photographic film, are in fact creatures speculated to be of extraterrestrial or even extra-dimensional origins.


“So, nowicjusz. First time in space ?”

“Do we save him, Capt’n ?”
“… No.”
“I bet you she makes him cry in the hour.”
“That’s not a fair bet, she sure will.”

me: about to sleep after a long night

mx: posts stuff

To any Linkin Park fan

I’ve never listened to Linkin Park much, but even then they have a few big songs (like Numb) that have been a big part of my childhood. Linkin Park have always just been there at some point or another in my life. And I do feel incredibly sad about the current news.

I got a notification from a news app about it and I couldn’t believe it. I thought it was a hoax. Still now I can’t really register it.

To all Linkin Park fans and to anyone who has lost a part of their life, I am so so sorry for your loss.

RIP Chester


A collaboration with @virgilioastram

He quickly fell out of the dimension 

 Toppling down the slivered stairs 

Which sprouted feet and ran away 

He stood in the confines of his mind 

No way in 

No way out 

Vista of vanity 

A blank void 

What was there to be gained here? 

Where was solace hiding in the white?

Thoughts echoed inside his mind 

Counting aimless footsteps 

Until a staircase ran ahead 

And planted in his tracks

He clamored for escape 

Enthusiastic stepping on tile 

But as the taps became numerous 

His location remained still 

A hoax! A phantasm! Despair!

He closed his eyes 

Enveloped in the darkness 

And opened them caged In glass shard teeth 

A swing in an abyss 

With a slowly slipping chain

Rumbling, scrambling, he forced 

his tiny prison to drop into oblivion 

For he only wished for freedom

and embraced his doom with anticipation 

 No more abysses! No more beguiling traps! 

And the chain gave up

Like an anchor 

The cage dropped 

Clenching teeth 

He flailed his arms, and screamed 

Set me free! 

 His echoes broke the black, fading 

Into the blank void he fell 

Glass teeth shattering 

Landing In front of the open door

A swift push and creaking 

The young man beholds a glade 

Flowering fields on for miles 

And a single tower over the horizon

He tread through the field 

His face soaking the rays 

And looked up to see a winged door flying away 

But he never looked back 

He kept forward his tracks 

Counting footsteps this time in anticipation

It didn’t matter to him 

As he became tranquil and still 

The youth flopped upon the meadow 

When the portal swooped and took him 

He awoke inside the ivory castle 

Where he was meant to be 

But of course he did keep an eye out 

As to not fall down silver stairs once more

This has to do with coffee. 

I promise. 

Just bear with me. 

*deep breath*


Stop. Full. fucking. STOP! entertaining the notion that Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are equally noxious candidates. 

I fucking get it. Clinton doesn’t mark every box on your absurd checklist of ideological purity. She thinks every world problem has an american solution. She’s got money and she’s got friends with money. She’s an unapologetic capitalist. She’s a master at making political sausage and all the ugliness that tends to go with it. 

So fucking what? 

DONALD GODDAMNED TRUMP, Fuckface von Clownstick himself, is her opponent. This dude carries endorsements from actual nazis and the muthafuckin KKK. He’s got goddamned animatronic fuckwaffles at his rallies assaulting black people and threatening the media. 

This bloviating turd storm is threatening to jail his political rival and use the power of the government to litigate against his detractors. If he loses? The election was rigged by his crooked opponent and well, theres some second amendment solutions to that. 

This is an authoritarian wet dream.

But hey man, Clintons just as bad because she deleted emails?

Fuck you.

I aint even tryin to be polite about this anymore. If your heads were any farther up your asses, we’d need to replace your abs with a window so you could see where you were going. 

Clinton is a talented, capable, intelligent and experienced politician. She’s thoughtful and patient. And if nothing else, her emails (if you actually read them) point to a woman who genuinely cares about doing whats right for this country and its citizens. Does her vision of whats right differ from yours? Sure. But she’s provided ample evidence that she’ll listen to, consider and consult with experts when your vision and her vision come to odds. 

Trump? That tumescent, bilious vomit sack (and the people he would empower and validate should he win) poses a real and present danger to everyone in this country who isnt a white christian male. And he doesn’t fucking care. 

So spare us the goddamned pity party and/or the smug appeal to political reductionism. 

“but you said this was about coffee!”

I lied. But hey, global warming is going to destroy the coffee supply and Trump still thinks its a hoax perpetuated by the Chinese to ruin our economy. So there’s that. 

So get off your ass and vote Clinton. 

Because if you dont, when Trump has folks goose stepping on the whitehouse lawn, you dont get to a part of my super cool underground resistance movement. 

We’ll have sweet leather jackets. 

And coffee. 


surprised this didn’t come up on the earbiscuit, so i’m giffing it for some of y'all who might have missed it in 2009.

I love it when directly conflicting news stories about Ed come out at the same time. My email has been flooded today with “Ed’s Lion Tattoo Was a Hoax!” headlines and now the “JUST KIDDING WE KNEW IT WAS REAL ALL ALONG” and “We’re Confused Now” headlines are just starting to trickle in, but I’m also still getting the hoax ones, so every other headline is “It’s Not Real!” or “It’s Real!” and I’m laughing because Ed Sheeran is the biggest internet troll and that is basically the best thing.

I’ll Show You Mine

Get your minds out of the gutter! This is a fic prompted by @i-dream-of-emus suggestion of #29 from this list. I wrote it an about an hour, bc I’ve already overthought one of these (#23 for @lilaviolet and an anon–it’s still forthcoming!) I did give it a once-over before posting, but if there’s any egregious grammar mistakes, let me know and I’ll fix it!

My m.o. for the prompts from this list, is I’m using the prompt as the first line, rather than trying to work it into a scene, in case anyone hadn’t noticed. So far, it’s going okay! Hope you enjoy!

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“Give it back!” 

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