I only have one life and that life is trickling through my fingers and serenely heading towards death and I can do nothing except watch my life ebb away with each passing moment, I am alone in the world, those who love me do not know me, those who know me fear me and I am miserable and impoverished and very soon I shall no longer know that I ever existed.[…] my desolation is as deep as a well and I do not deceive myself before myself and others. […] and my despair is as arid as the desert sands and doubts stifle and humiliate me.
—  Clarice Lispector, from Near to the Wild Heart, transl. by  Giovanni Pontiero (New Directions, 2012) 

anonymous asked:

pls write some more smutty warnette fics

I wake up to the feel of fingertips against the backs of my thighs. One of my legs is wrapped almost completely underneath Warner, my knee nestled against his side as I lay on top of him. The other tangles with his under the heavy swath of sheets that divides our naked bodies from the frigid air.
His heartbeat is so steady, so familiar against the side of my face that I resist opening my eyes. But soon Warner’s exploring fingertips begin to tickle rather than touch, and I can’t help the resulting curl of my toes.
When I open my eyes, my surprise sobers me slightly.
It’s still dark out.
When I rotate my head to rest my chin on the center of his chest, his fingers stop.
His head is propped up on a pillow so fluffy that he doesn’t need to sit up to meet my gaze. I blink at him in the darkness, my chin quivering as I stifle a yawn.
His hands follow the shape of my backside until he reaches my arms, where he folds his fingers under my biceps and slides me forward until we’re face-to-face.
His face shows no signs of sleepiness. I can’t imagine how long he’s been awake in this darkness. Still. Waiting.
My fingers slide across his face, delicately tracing his jawline before my palms flatten against his cheeks. The eyelids that I kiss goodnight every day flutter shut, and his chest sinks beneath me as he sighs.
“Can’t sleep?” I say, but the words come out a whisper, as we are so close and they do not require much volume.
His fingers unfold from their grip on my arms and feather across my shoulders, down my spine, until they weave together in a knot just above the small of my back.  “No,” he finally murmurs, then gives me a gentle squeeze between his arms. A familiar squeeze. I’m fine.
“Is there a reason?”
He peeks one eye open at me, squinting. I slide my hands into his hair,  weaving small handfuls between my fingers.
His eyes fall shut, and, “No,” he says. “Just restless.”
“Not quite. Remembering.”
A wary pause. “Remembering what?”
His face drops to the side and buries halfway into the pillow, but not before he presses a gentle kiss to my wrist.
Then a slightly muffled word.
His words take a moment to register, and when they do, I prop myself up on my elbow upon his chest.
“And how so?” I ask, newly suspicious.
His eyes remained closed and his face turned, impassive.
“Exactly in the way you believe I’m insinuating.”
This time, so much silence passes that he peeks an eye open at me again.
I shove his face playfully into the pillow and then roll off of him. His chuckle follows me, and I hadn’t taken into account that his arms were still wrapped around me. Though I tried to roll away, his arms trap me against him. Warner shifts to his side behind me, and then his lips meet the back of my neck. I revel in the feel of his mouth, how the simplest gesture can prickle my skin and turn my bloodstream to fire. The bed shifts slightly as Warner props himself up on an elbow, the other arm still wrapped around my waist. His lips round the tendon in my neck toward the side of my throat, a spot already tender from so many lingering kisses of previous nights. I can’t help but sigh and,  when his kisses reach the edge of my jaw, rotate my head so that his lips can reach mine.
And they do.
His fingers tighten against my waist as soon as our lips meet, slightly crooked but comfortable nonetheless. I can practically feel the sleep being pulled from me, kiss by kiss, until I’m rotated in his arms and pressed against him and I can hardly remember what it felt like to dream whilst asleep. My dreams occur now in waking. Because he is my dream. No fantasy compares to his ardent stare, to these arms that encircle me. To the fingertips that support and encourage, to the man I love proving his worthiness of that title.
It’s then that Warner breaks away, much to my protest.
“You should really go back to sleep,” he says, but the words are only the barest suggestion. I can feel how much he wants me right now.
“Not tonight,” I whisper.

When You Just Don't Fit In At The Office

Career professionals agree that the culture of your office can mean as much for your happiness as your workload and your duties. Are you an extrovert who likes to chat and visit and socialize after hours? Here’s advice for coping with an alien office culture:

1. Consider the culture before you take the job.

2. Accept that it’s part of your job.

3. Even if hate socializing, showing up once in a while can go a long way.

4. Be explicit about any specific issues you have with parties and after-work gatherings.

5. Build relationships through office socializing.

6. When the office culture is so stifling that you really can’t do your job, start planning your next move.

Read more.


Jon and Sansa- all too well (1)(2)

Sansa sits in the passenger seat, her prized Nikon in her hands as she takes photos of whatever passes her outside. A pretty tree with large limbs and orange leaves, or young couples riding bikes together. She then turns the camera on Jon and begins to snap away, capturing his furrowed brow and his lips compressed.

Keep reading

[Snowflakes] pt. 2

Winner’s Part 2 (thechristmasllama):

Word Count: 1,451 
Genre: Fluff
Pairing: Imayoshi X Reader!Girlfriend
Summary: Imayoshi is annoyed-not the good type of annoyed, but the bad type. Having to spend a Saturday with his teammates was not part of his ideal way to spend his day, but nevertheless at least it was spent doing something useful. 
Series: Part 1 l Part 2 l Part 3

Chapter 2: What to Choose

Walking down the street on Saturday, Imayoshi was bundled in a trench coat and scarf. He glared at anything that met his gaze; this was not a good day to be near him. Despite his smile, everyone could tell he was not to be messed with. Stopping at a crosswalk, Imayoshi heard someone stifle their laughter. “Wakamatsu,” He began, “Do you want to die?”

Wakamatsu simply grinned widely, throwing his arm over Imayoshi’s shoulder. He pulled him closer to his face and tried to not shake as his captain’s face turned grimmer. “No, then I can’t join the team to see you all sad.” He started laughing loudly into his ear causing the older one to shove him. Wakamatsu let out a yell as he fell on his ass-perhaps being near Imayoshi and a crosswalk where cars are passing him was not the greatest idea. Rubbing his back, Wakamatsu glared at him. “Hey it’s not my fault your girlfriend said yes.”

“It is.” Imayoshi muttered, purposely kicking back snow onto Wakamatsu’s pants as he crossed. He didn’t want to blame you for saying yes to Momoi. Though he wanted to be upset at you, he just couldn’t bring himself to. Your apologetic smile to him let him know how sorry you were-it also let him know that she had won you over as he watched her hug you tightly. Just thinking about it made him repeat the same actions he did before; a strained smile made its way to his face as he hid his clasped fists in his pockets. He became even more annoyed as he remembered how Aomine threw an arm over his shoulder and sneered at him.

“Well, well captain, I guess we’ll be seeing each other during the holidays.”

“I guess we are.” He said in a stern voice.

Looking at his reflection as he took a step pass a small boutique, Imayoshi stared at the things inside. “See anything you might get?” Sora said beside him. Imayoshi shrugged, walking past him, leaving him, a grumpy Wakamatsu, Sakurai and Aomine to trail behind.

They had all agreed to do Momoi’s secret Santa idea and now were going as a group to get things for each other. No they did not draw names, and no they did not plan this well because two girls and a bunch of guys-what kind of gift would fit any of them? Imayoshi sighed, already feeling annoyed that he had people with him. He originally planned to go out with you to see what you would choose and come back later that day to buy it. However, when was anything Imayoshi planned successful? Look at where it landed him now.

Stopping in the middle of the sidewalk, he turned to face his team mates. “Where should we start first?” he asked. He didn’t want them complaining about where he went and asking them seemed like the best choice. Sora turned to looked at the others, not caring where they started; Wakamatsu scratched his head; and Aomine yawned loudly. “Beats me.” He said as his eyes blinked tiredly.

“Umm..” Sakurai raised a shaky hand up, gulping loudly. “Why don’t we try looking at that store?” He pointed behind Imayoshi. Peering around him, Imayoshi saw it was one of the biggest stores on the street. Christmas lights adorned the dolls that were lined around the store window; bits of spray painted snowflakes blurred the view; it looked rather nice. Only nodding, Imayoshi decided to walk towards it. He pulled the door open; hearing the bell jingle as he did so. Letting the others go first, he tried not to say anything nasty to Aomine, who wore a smug look and had the audacity to look down at him. Closing the door behind him he nearly walked into Aomine’s back. Just as he was about to complain, he realized why they all stopped.

It was cute. Literally it was cute wonderland. Plushies adorned shelves; pastel coloured notebooks and pencils were placed alongside each other; and rows and rows of jewellery and clothes lined the store floors. This was definitely not a guy’s terrain.  “Are you guys here looking for something for your girlfriends?” A perky voice broke through their thoughts. All of them looked at her as if she wasn’t real, earning a small laugh from her. “It’s alright, no need to answer that. Just know that everything is on sale for the season, and if you guys need anything just come and ask.”

“Sakurai…” Wakamatsu growled. “Why did you choose this?”

“Sorry, sorry, sorry-I’m so sorry I chose this. I’m so-“ Imayoshi pulled Sakurai by his jacket, stopping him from bowing yet again.  “It’s okay Sakurai. I think this may be a place we can find some stuff for them.” He muttered.

Splitting up, they all walked around, searching for something that either you or Momoi or perhaps they would like. Imayoshi relaxed a bit after hearing Sora laugh at something Sakurai picked up. Hearing the usual teasing made him feel a bit better. Frowning at the large selection, Imayoshi couldn’t concentrate on what he wanted to get. What could he get for a girl that gave him everything?

You weren’t too keen on cute things, but yet you weren’t too far from it. Ignoring the clothes, he walked around, eyeing the jewellery and little bears. “Hey Captain!” He heard Wakamatsu call out. Glancing at him, he saw Wakamatsu holding a hairbow. “Would Momoi like this?” Giving him a look of utter confusion Imayoshi only managed to open his mouth and let out a ‘huh’. As if realizing his mistake, he smiled sheepishly. “Ah, wrong person.” Turning around he called Aomine, yelling once again saying if she would like it. He heard Aomine say ‘how should I know’ and Wakamatsu reply with ‘she’s your childhood friend baka’.

“Stuck on what to get ____?” Imayoshi could hear Sora’s teasing tone. Not willing to show weakness, he only smiled at his friend.

“Why would you think that?”

“Because you’ve been wandering around the store for ten minutes without picking up a single thing.” Sora nodded to his empty hands. “Want help?”

“I’m fine.”

“Imayoshi.” Sora sighed, running a hand through his hair. “It’s okay to be stuck.”

“Our captain doesn’t know what to get ____?” Wakamatsu said playfully. Aomine eyes gleamed.

“Well, well, Imayoshi d-“

“Shut up before I kill you all.” He said in a happy tone before walking away. He heard footsteps follow him. Failing to get rid of them, he turned around and raised an eyebrow. “I don’t need help. I can get my girlfriend something she’ll like without your help.”

“Why don’t you get her lingerine?” Aomine stuck his finger in his ear, twisting it. “Bet she’ll look hot in t-“

“I swear to god Aomine, I don’t care if we need you for the Winter Cup, but I will find a way to shut you up-killing or not killing.” Imayoshi snapped. He didn’t want them to help him-you were his. It wasn’t fair he had to share you with them; not fair that the first year brat got to see you more often than he did; not fair that his plans were ruined. Imayoshi felt a hand on his shoulder and was about to say a new set of threats at the tanned boy, until he saw how serious he looked.

“Oi, chill.” He said. “You were looking at those things before right?” Aomine nodded to the little box sets. “I’m pretty sure whatever you get ____, she’ll be happy as is.” A tense moment passed the two before Imayoshi sighed. Nodding, he walked away from them and started looking around.

Just as he looked at the table, something caught his eye. Reaching over to take it, Imayoshi held it in his hands. Sakurai poked his head to see it. “I think ____ will like that.” He heard confirmation of his comment through the mumbles behind him. Nodding to himself, Imayoshi brought it to the counter and got it wrapped up.

Imayoshi wouldn’t admit it, but what Aomine said to him calmed him. It was true-you were happy as is with him. You always told him you didn’t need anything to be content and despite your various warnings to what you would do if he got you a gift, Imayoshi still got you something. He just wanted to see you smile widely at him; give me that feeling that made him lose his breath at the sight of you; he wanted to give you a gift that would show he loved you. Letting his frustration go, Imayoshi pushed his glasses up-hopefully you would like his gift. He thought to himself. Hopefully.


Title: Colours

Summary: Dan was a grey artist living in a grey world. One day, he meets a man who is so bright, it might just balance out Dan’s black and white.

Genre: Synesthesia!Dan, Synesthesia!Phil, Kinda fluffy

Word count: 348 (it’s really short!)

Warnings: Depression, a few food mentions

A/N: So! My first fic published on tumblr. Pretty snazzy. Okay, so you might be wondering: “what is synesthesia?” Don’t worry kids I’m here to explain. Synesthsia is basically when you see colours when you hear sounds ands stuff. It’s pretty cool - you should look it up (lord knows I haven’t explained it terribly well). Also I listened to Colors by Halsey while writing this.

Dan’s POV

My life had been monotone for a long time. Even my art couldn’t stifle the grey sliding in under the door. Those colours I painted were things I hadn’t felt in what seemed like years. The world was black and white and all the shades of bland in between. I went through my motions with no gain. I had almost forgotten how much I missed the colours.

When I had my art featured in a studio, I thought nothing of it. I stood there, gave weak smiles to patrons and took note of their colours. At most, they were faded reds and greens. My grey dampened them.

When he stopped and marvelled at my work, there was no denying he was the brightest yellow I’d ever seen. His appearance was like my colours. Black and white and black and white. But his heart. It melted the ice lodged in mine. His voice was custard. Bright and sweet, and when I spoke, my grey didn’t even dull his yellow.

When he asked me for coffee, my yes started to echo his bright tones.

When I was with him, I became brighter. The world’s colours started to crack through that monotone I had made for myself. I could never thank him enough.

When he took me to the beach, he told me I was blue. The richest, most beautiful blue he’d ever stumbled across. That the night sky was a second best to me, that no ocean could ever do me justice. His words were honey, pouring out, so sweet and full and golden.

When he asked me to love him forever, he pulled out a blue band. As he slid it on my finger, he reminded me that my colours were magical. All thanks to you, I thought.

When I stepped up to the altar, my grey was gone. He was more yellow than the night we’d met, and my blue radiated through a brilliant array of colours as I committed myself to him.

Now my paintings could truly echo my colours. Because now, there were so, so many.

(Read it on Ao3: )

hathawayroza replied to your post: “also how much longer do i have to suffer until trc is the kind of…”:

we need to start making more people read this series and enjoy it tbh. I really want multichaptered, quality bluesey fics. It’s a need. I want bad aus. I want fake dating. GIVE ME ALL.

it’s so baffling to me that 99.8% of the fic for this fandom is canonverse bc canonverse while obviously great is also really stifling ship and happiness wise like in the sense of writing fic so like idk why there are like no AUs and it’s very character based writing in canon so like it’s entirely easy to just pluck the characters out and stick them in a completely different universe and have at it like it’s the kind of series that cliche terrible wonderful AUs just write themselves why are therE NO AUs !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

literally i just want like a 30 chapter fic about ronan needing a date for gansey and blue’s wedding and he just finds adam at the grocery store and is like “yep, he’ll do” and ronan’s like “listen i don’t like lying so we have to make this seem legit okay like we should probably go on like a real fake date before i introduce you to my friends because then it’s like we are kind of dating and i’m not technically lying but we’re not actually dating so it’s fine right?” and adam is just like “can i make an observation? what is actually wrong with you” and ronan’s like “so much so are you in or out” and adam’s like “i mean i guess i’m in but i think there are some underlying psychological problems going on here that you should probably address? like at some point?” and ronan’s like “okay cool where do you want to go eat”

Aftermath - Relief

[[ I’m very upset that I’ll be missing this campaign! :( But, have some aftermath stuff anyways! I’m now caught up on the number of drabbles I was supposed to do! stormandozone, and also felthier, curiouslich and burning-yaungol for mentions]]

When night settled over the crimson wood, so too do a new symphony. It had denied her sleep her first night here, the silence too stifling, what sound the wood outside the windows had to offer deafening when it came. But fear turned into familiarity, and when Caeliri shut her eyes the sounds of the night wove into a melody that lulled her off to sleep.

Tonight, the sounds she’d grown accustomed too were joined by the lessons she’d learned about the Light, repeated and rephrased until they were all that filled her mind; until she could forget that her communicator lay beside her on the pillow, tangled in her loosened locks and silent as the grave.

Breathe in, speak. Be slow, be precise, be confident. Do not disappoint the Light.

Her breath stalled as static wiped away her troubled thoughts, the garbled voice that called from the device indistinguishable at first. In that brief span of seconds all the worries she had kept at bay came flooding in, and dread and fear nested together in her heart.

When the Admiral’s voice finally steady and rang clear against the wooden walls of her bedroom, she realized she’d stopped breathing - until Dawnward Shadowsunder’s voice responded, joined by Emberward Ragetotem.


She exhaled, the fingers linked over her stomach rising as her chest fell.  Relief overtook everything all at once, and her eyes settled shut as the familiar chorus of voices cracked through the communicators.
In the dark, each of them was the most beautiful symphony she’d ever heard.

My Only Wish Chapter 2

Previous Chapter: Chapter 1

Kyohei is racing down the street pulling me along. Amazingly, no one is giving us a second glance as we rush down the street. We eventually get a small bar. We go in and it’s completely empty. “This is my private hideout. You should be thrilled that I would show you this location,” he smirks triumphantly. I stifle a small chuckle. We take a seat and he buys me a beautiful drink. “Once you have a couple of these, you’ll start feeling better.”

I take a sip and it’s really good. The tears have finally stopped and I focus on the taste of the alcohol. He ordered a beer and is taking a sip of it. “I am shocked to see someone has famous as you in the middle of the street crying their eyes out. Did you have a fight with a boyfriend or something?” Just thinking about Kosuke makes me cringe. “…..It’s complicated.” He takes another sip and then sighs. “You’re a smart girl. If you are having issues with your boyfriend, then you should dump him. You could pick up someone else in no time.”

“If only it was that easy,” I mutter. “What did you say?” “Nothing.” He gives me a look as if he is searching my soul before changing the subject. “So, I heard you haven’t been doing this for long and you’re already well renowned.” I smile, “Yes, Sayuri and I put a lot of effort into making it to the top. We were determined to make it.” “I heard you’ve already won several rewards and you’re still pretty young. You never hear a screenwriter being able to pull it off.” “I guess they aren’t as determined as we were.” I take another sip of my drink.

“What made you decide on doing screenwriting? Not too many people decide on that and work so quickly at a young age.” The words of my father come to mind. I have until marriage to do this. I have to make the very best with this time. I can’t tell him that. “It was something I was interested in.” “….I see.” His expression is pretty serious. I hope I didn’t look like I was obviously lying. Then something pops in his head as if he remembered something.

“That’s right, we had a concern about the movie. Even though there are some songs for it that need to be created, Ryo won’t be able to write them because he’s working on several other ones for a new album. I am not sure if you could make adjustments or know someone who could do it….” This is my chance to make her do this. “Sayuri actually is pretty good at writing songs, but don’t tell anyone.” Kyohei looks shocked. “That girl is?”

I nod, “I can tell her to write them, but can we just tell the others that we found a lyricist?” Kyohei looks at me oddly. “If she’s good, why not get the recognition?” “…She has her reasons. She prefers it that way.” He smiles, “I don’t mind. I will let Ryo know he doesn’t have to worry about it anymore.” “Leave it to us and you won’t be disappointed!” Kyohei smiles, “You look the best when you smile.” I begin to blush and avert his gaze. “I-I didn’t realize I was smiling.” He chuckles, “You’re an oddball.”

After some time, the bar is about to close. I look at the time and cannot believe how much time has passed. “Goodness, I need to go home!” Kyohei stands up. “Where do you live? I’ll take you.” “Oh, you don’t have to…” “Do you think it’s a good idea for you to walk home alone at this time of night?” “I… guess not.” He smirks, “Just to let you know that this isn’t free. I will work you hard to make sure this movie is a success.” I smile, “Okay!” He escorts me out of the bar and we begin to walk home. We only make small talk during the walk and before I realize it, I am already at home. He smirks, “Well, you better get inside and get rested. We are going to discuss more tomorrow about this.”

“Okay.” I open the door and turn around he is smiling. “Have a good night, Sydney.” “Thanks, you too.” I go in the house and let out a sigh. I didn’t realize how much fun I was having with him. The house is quiet because Kosuke isn’t around. He’s still fooling around with that girl, but at this moment, I don’t really care. Having drinks with Kyohei seems too unreal, but I am very glad it happened. I immediately call Sayuri on her phone. She sounds irritated. “What do you want?”

“I need to ask you a favor.” “You realize what time it is?” “You weren’t sleeping anyway.” She sighs, “I know, but still.” I begin to perk up. “You’re going to write lyrics for the movie. Ryo won’t be able to do it.” She goes completely quiet. “Sayuri?” “You just like torturing me, don’t you?” “Don’t worry about it. Kyohei is the only one who knows and you won’t be mentioned. You are the only person who can do it! Please?! Please?!” She lets out a huge sigh, “Okay, fine.”

I breathe a sigh of relief. “You know I don’t like doing this right?” She is so stubborn. I guess this her way of locking away her desires. “Yeah, you say that, but I know about your notebooks that are filled with songs.” She goes quiet again. “Even if you can’t do what you want, you shouldn’t pretend that you never liked it. It’s…” “I’m going to bed Syd. Good night.” She immediately hangs up the phone. She is so stubborn. At least it’s taken care of. I lay in bed and the moment I touch the pillow, I fall fast asleep.


I think I am going to write a story and kill of Sydney. She knows I don’t like writing lyrics for other people but constantly insisting that I do. Sure, I do write lyrics at home, but it’s because I’m ticked and I need to vent.  Thankfully, the songs aren’t needed until midway through the movie. This is the first day of production and I am walking in the room. Revance all turn towards me as I walk in. Kyohei sighs, “You really need to have your friend dress you.”

I ignore his comment and force a smile. “Here’s the lyrics.” He mischievous gleam is in his eye. “I am not the one who approves of lyrics. You need to talk to Takashi.” Nagito looks shocked. “Kyo, are you sure you want to send her?” He smirks, “It’s fine. It’s not like she wrote them or anything.” He is purposely toying with me. I suppress my irritation and smile. “Okay, I will find him.” Nagito looks at me worriedly. “Good luck.” I am not sure why he is so concerned. They are just lyrics. I look around and I see Takashi listening to music happily.

I walk over to him and tap him on the shoulder. He notices me and he gives a stern expression. I guess he didn’t want to be interrupted. “Yes?” “I’m supposed to deliver these lyrics to you. They said you’re the one who would approve of it. I don’t notice the rest of the group were watching me to see his reaction to the lyrics. He looks hesitant as he takes the lyrics. “I am not expecting much since Ryo couldn’t write them.” He looks at the lyrics and he is completely stunned.

I guess he doesn’t like them. This is my first time writing lyrics for someone else other than me. “Who wrote these lyrics,” he asks. “Sydney picked out a lyricist to write them…. are they really bad?” “No… these are really good lyrics. They are about as good as Ryo’s lyrics. These… are perfect.” Everyone looks stunned by that reaction. Takashi smiles, “I would love to meet the person who wrote these.” “Umm… that person didn’t want to be mentioned. They are shy so they want to remain anonymous.”

He looks dejected. “…I see.” Nagito is completely flabbergasted. “I never seen Takashi react that way.” Kyohei’s interest has piqued as he notices his reaction. “Let me see that.” He walks down and reads the lyrics and he is just as stunned.” He looks at me and then looks at Sydney. “I need to talk to the both of you in private right now.” Sydney is slightly confused when she hears her name. “What is going on?” Kyohei turns to her. “The three of us need a meeting right now.”

Sydney nods and prepares a meeting room and I sigh. What is the big deal? Once the room is prepared, we all go inside and Kyohei’s expression becomes serious. “I want to cut straight to the point. I want both of you to work with Rikudoh Productions.” We are equally shocked at his proposal, but he continues, “I was already extremely impressed by you Sydney. Your screenwriting is beyond amazing and impeccable. I was hesitant on saying anything to you Sydney because it looks like you two prefer to work together and I don’t have too many uses for a writer.”

He turns to me and grins brightly, “However, a songwriter I can use. The two of you are like hidden gems of talent. By your reaction Sayuri, this is the first you’ve written a song for a movie, correct?” I slowly nod. “I could tell by your behavior. For someone who’s never written lyrics before and write them that well is something we need. So what do you say?” Sydney’s eyes sparkle in delight. Did she forget about our situation? Even if we say yes, we can’t stay for long. I won’t hold on to hopeless dreams.

“I am flattered, but I would have to decline.” Both Sydney and Kyohei glare at me. “What,” she snares. I glare back her. “You are going overboard. You KNOW we can’t do this!” “Sayuri, you’re overreacting.” “And you are being too relaxed! Why do you keep insisting on doing things that you know we can’t do in the end?! Why do you want to hold onto something that’s unattainable?!” She growls, “Sayuri, you are getting overly emotional…”

I click my tongue. “Whatever, I’m not doing it. If you are so inclined to do it without me, fine. I won’t stop you! Don’t get upset when it gets taken away from you because that time will come!” Before she could respond, I leave the meeting room. I am way too upset right now. What I didn’t realize is that I am crying. Reality, something like this would be a dream, but we can’t keep chasing our dreams forever. It will soon end so what is the point of holding on any further than we have?


Sayuri stormed out of the room and I let out a sigh. Kyohei looks confused and conflicted. “What is she talking about?” I look at him and force a smile. I don’t know how to explain this. “We’re in a complicated agreement and it’s hard to break out of it.” Kyohei looks serious. “What is it? I would find a way to break it. I want you both on my team… especially you Sydney.” His gaze is making me blush and I avert his gaze. He sighs, “Could you at least consider it?”

“I will consider it.” “It would be easier to tell me your terms of your current agreement and I could find a way around it.” I weakly smile, “There isn’t a way around it.” “Enlighten me.” He comes close to me and I move back. “It’s a complicated situation. “ “But, not an impossible situation.” He is persistent. Sayuri will be angry at me, but I’ll tell him. “Remember about two weeks ago were you ran into me and I was crying? I was upset with my fiancé having an affair.”

He looks shocked, but I continue. “Even though he’s having an affair, I can’t break up with him. My father arranged this marriage because it is beneficial for him and my future husband. Sayuri and I were raised under strict supervision. Our fathers allowed us to do this work, but we must marry the men they’ve chosen for us and we have to give it up after marriage. If we go against their wishes, they will ruin us. I rather try to see how far I can go but Sayuri I guess given up hope.”

Kyohei seems confused, “Do you not make enough to live on your own? I don’t see how he could ruin you.” “My father is the president of JJ Law Firm and Sayuri’s father is a famous politician.” I show him a picture of our fathers and he immediately recognizes them. “So basically you’re saying they have enough manpower to get you out of your careers.” I sadly nod. Kyohei sighs, “That sounds rough.” “That’s why Sayuri blew up. She accepted as her fate. She wasn’t always like she is now. She… changed. I am not sure why though.”

Kyohei smirks, “I like a challenge. I’ll figure out how to get you out of your arrangement and in exchange I want both of you to work your butt off for us. What do you say?” If he knows a way out, I would be happy. “I would gladly accept and I will tell Sayuri as well! Can you not tell the others? It’s hard for everyone to know.” He smiles softly, “I had no intention to. Just worry about that script.” He pats me on the head and leaves the room.

I search for Sayuri and her voice guides me to her. She always sings in a corner when she’s upset. I rush to her. “Guess what?” She still looks upset. “You told them no?” I frown, “No! We’re going to do it! Kyohei said he’ll figure out a way out of the agreement we have and we can work for them.” She scoffs, “You’re an idiot if you believe that.” “Sayuri, stop being so stubborn!” She sadly smiles, “I’m not being stubborn. I’m…. tired of wishing for things I know won’t happen.” “But you never know. Revance is a popular group.”

“But our fathers could make it where Revance wouldn’t want to come near us. Look, I am not saying I don’t want to do it. I just don’t want you to be upset if you are hopeful only to be crushed by reality.” I sigh, “It’ll happen, you’ll see. Maybe we can even….” “Let’s just be grateful for what we have, okay?” There is no use to changing her mind. “…I’ll leave you be for now.” She smiles sadly again, “Yeah, sorry.” I sigh and check the time. It’s almost time for the production to start. I leave her alone as I make sure the scenes are going right.


I think I was being too harsh earlier on Sydney. I will apologize later. I know she wants me to be optimistic, but I can’t when there’s Minori around. He sucks the life of me. When she told me that offer, for a moment, I was excited for someone offering a way out. However, I have to be realistic. This will never happen and it is best to squash these feelings right now. I pull out of book of lyrics and flip to a page. This is probably why favorite song that I’ve written. I tend to sing it a lot when I am upset.

The song is about a person trapped in a dark world wanting to be free in the light, but the light will never reach them. It reflects my situation except I know that the light will never reach me. I close my eyes and imagine that I am on stage in front a crowd cheering. I see Sydney backstage smiling, slightly disheveled due to being at an award show. She’s waving an award for best actress. I’m glad she accomplished her dream. “You can do it too Sayuri!”

I open my mouth and begin to sing. The crowd is moved as I sing my heart out. Please let my words hit your ears. Everyone is swaying back and forth enjoying the melody of my voice. This is the only time I can sing in front of you. I hope you love it. “S-Sayuri?!” A voice startled me and I look up. Takashi is standing there with a completely shocked expression. “Those words…. your voice…. you can actually sing?!” I don’t say a word as I feel completely horrified.

He walks towards me and notice the book of lyrics opened and variety of songs scattered on the floor. “You wrote all of these? You…. you must be the one who wrote the lyrics. The style is similar to the song you just sung. Why are you hiding the fact you have these talents?”  My face goes pale at the fact that it was revealed. No one is supposed to know about this. I don’t know what to say as he waits for me to answer his question.

-To Be Continued

bxruchthechxsen replied to your post: “The lack of magic in the air is more stifling…


[He stared for a moment, looking somewhat surprised and agitated, before huffing out a breath choked full of embers and sparks.]

“For what reason am I, a creature born out of magic, banned from so much as mentioning magic? What power do you claim to hold over me, to stop me?.”

anonymous asked:

Prompt: lazwald x aqua with "he/she will never be you" and you know whos were talking abt here


 She isn’t you.

 He watched as she danced elegantly. Her legs swayed to the left. Her arms raised to the right. With a quick spin of her heel, the lovely princess twirled around and around and even gave a little hop to the side.

 Lazward only watched from a few steps afar, eyes glistened in yearning and mouth curved to a woeful frown. She’ll never be you. His heart throbbed uncomfortably at the thought. Lips pursed softly, he stifled a groan and dropped his head forward.

 As his eyes fluttered shut, Lazward bit the insides of his mouth at the memory of her face.

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anonymous asked:

She steadied herself on the guard rail as he thrust into her slick heat, his hands holding her gently. It was both dreadful and incredibly arousing knowing at any minute someone could walk onto the patio and catch them making love. She cried his name over and over, attempting with all her might to stifle how loud her voice carried, she wouldn't last long, not with him ramming into her at just the right speed. That's when his index finger found her nub and drew shapes, sending her over the edge.


xxgongaxx asked:

prompt: Danny almost dies and Carmilla is scared about losing her - a good mix of angst and sweeet sweet fluff - can I please have that :)

it’s really late so i’m not sure how good the quality is, but i hope this is okay! :)

The stench of blood is everywhere, permeating every ounce of air in maman’s apartment. It’s stifling, even for you, and your stomach drops as the scent hits you like a wall. You’d only been gone for a few hours; what possibly could have happened in that timeframe?

There are bodies everywhere. Alchemy kids, Zetas, even the Mel girl whose snark you’d at least come to appreciate; all of them, dead. You pick your way through the bodies, searching the faces, praying the girl you love is not among them.

She isn’t in the first two rooms. You find her in the kitchen, trying to staunch her bleeding with the dishrag hanging from the oven. It’s completely soaked through, but all you can think is how glad you are that she’s alive.

“Oh, thank God…Carmilla, please help me,” Danny says, her voice weak and broken. Frail, like the human that she is. She’s got a jagged hole in her gut and a bloodied spear lies beside her. You want to berate her for pulling it out like a complete fool, but the amount of blood she’s lost and the fact that her eyes look misty is causing you to worry too much to make the comment. You yell for LaFontaine and JP, but the apartment seems to be empty and your panic rises. You don’t know how much time Danny has and your surgical skills are subpar, but with whatever went down in this building you don’t think it would be the best idea to take her outside.

“Okay, come on, Xena,” you say in an attempt to pretend everything is going to be okay as you take her into your arms as gently as possible and move her to the couch. “You’re gonna be alright. I’ll be right back.”

You feel sick as you tear through the apartment looking for anything you can use to stop the bleeding. The best you can find are some old cotton linens and a bottle of vodka, but it’s better than nothing. You return to Danny and lift her shirt above her wound to clean it and bandage it, trying not to let your feelings affect your actions.

“You’re being pretty quiet; should I be worried?” Danny jokingly asks between gasps of pain, and you have to commend her for continuing to use her sense of humor even as she’s bleeding out.

“I said you’ll be fine,” you murmur, but you’re having a hard time convincing even yourself. You can hear Danny’s heart and it’s beating far too fast and faintly, and you can tell she won’t be able to stay awake much longer.

She’s strong. She is strong, despite being human, but she may not be strong enough to survive this and you have to blink away a few tears as you tie off the bandage. You turn to her and take her hand and you try to muster a small smile for her, but you know it’s not very convincing. “You’re not leaving me today, Lawrence. You got that?”

But she’s slipping under, and your heart sinks. “Hey, come on. Danny? Stay with me, okay?” You bite your lip and take a deep breath when she doesn’t respond. You suppose you’ll just have to wait it out to see if she pulls through. It’s going to be the longest few days of your life.

She’s in and out, but her heart never stops. You’re very proud of her for that.

She explains to you what happened the next time she’s lucid and, honestly, you can hardly believe she survived. You run your fingers through her hair and you help her eat and drink, partially to help her feel better, but also because you don’t want to admit to yourself how terrified you were of losing her. She comments eventually on your pensiveness and you sigh; of course it wouldn’t escape her.

“Danny, I wasn’t sure if you were going to live through that wound,” you say hesitantly, “and I–I guess I just need to make something clear before you’re back on your feet and getting yourself nearly killed again. I really care about you,” you say. “I really love you. Don’t make me think you’re going to die again.”

Danny looks down and sighs, then shakes her head. “I won’t if I can help it.” She pauses. “Come here, Karnstein.”

You kneel down next to the couch and Danny props herself up onto her elbow to kiss you sweetly, her free hand caressing your cheek. She pulls away with a small smile. “I love you too, you know.”

You can’t help but to smile in return and you kiss her once more before settling down on the floor to keep her company. “I know.”
I Wear Pants to the Office, Because I’m a Grown Man
The way you dress either shows respect or disrespect for other people. It's not about vanity or conformity, but respect.

…”If you’re a man, you probably know how stifling and uncomfortable this outfit is. Particularly in the summer, when the mercury tops 90 degrees. And because modern office thermostats are set to accommodate male attire it means that women — wearing seasonally-appropriate clothes like skirts and dresses in the summer — are bringing blankets and snuggies to work to fight the cold. Ahh, yes, the unseen power of the office thermostat, the tyranny of temperature. Why, it’s almost as oppressive as grilling. At least Ingraham didn’t go all in on the abomination that are short suits, a look only acceptable on Angus Young and even then one that is somewhat questionable.“