stiff cocktail

Closed Set

Request:  Hiii so I know you write mostly Sam and you claim you don’t write Jared, but would you be willing to write a Jared story? I want to request: Imagine filming a sex scene with Jared. And maybe he gets really into it, which isn’t in the script, but you can obviously take it wherever your heart desires. -@impalaimagining

Jared x Female Reader

Summary: Filming a love scene with Jared is a little more than you bargained for. 

Warnings: This is what I would consider smut adjacent, nothing too graphic.

Word Count: 1700+

A/N: Beta’d by the always amazing @elliewinchesterr

Possibly part one of two, I’m always skittish when I write Jared. 

“How do those feel?” Tabitha, your wardrobe assistant, gestures to the round flesh colored stickers covering your nipples.

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Sabriel Fic - Sleep Deprived

Inspired by this post by @eyasx (why won’t it taaaaag), because it’s precious. 



At first, Sam wasn’t sure what had caused the thump that had woken him. Nor did he have any idea why his neck was bent at such an unnatural angle, or why his legs were hanging off the edge of—

Oh. Right.

Sam hauled himself into a sitting position, rubbing the back of his neck and blinking at his surroundings. He glanced around for the source of the thump—found one of his Criminology texts lying open on the floor. His notebooks and other textbooks were piled on the floor, and his laptop was whirring quietly on the coffee table next to the couch where he’d crashed.

He’d fallen asleep studying in the common room. Again.

And again, there were three cookies and a cup of steaming tea by his laptop.

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Potterverse Characters Preferred Drinks
  • Ron: butterbeer because he's secretly a lightweight
  • Hermione: Vodka because at the end of a day fighting for justice your drink needs to be REALLY stiff
  • Crabbe and Goyle: cocktails. fruity ones. with umbrellas
  • Draco: absinthe, the old French style. mixed with unicorn tears or something because MAGIC
  • Pansy: tequila
  • Harry: avoids drinking after the firewhiskey at the burrow, still drinks butterbeer and is not as much of a lightweight as Ron
  • Dumbledore: Singapore sling cocktails or Mentos and Cola HE CAN'T DECIDE
  • McGonagall: Tokyo tea cocktails
  • Slughorn: anything expensive
  • Hagrid: GIANT MEAD
  • Snape: something as bitter and black as his soul. possibly Irish coffee, with more booze than coffee. When trying to impress people, either Grappa or Ouzo (m'lady)
  • Sprout: citrus vodka, she grows the lemons and oranges herself
  • Flitwick: fruity port
  • The Weasley twins: jaegerbombs - they come in two parts and allow for long hours of drunken shenanigans
  • Charlie: something on fire
  • Bill: something made by the goblins that tends to knock out humans in about two seconds flat
  • Molly Weasley: Scrumpy
  • Mad-Eye: Rum
  • Tonks: some magical colour changing liquor, or just SERIOUSLY SPIKED PUNCH
  • Bellatrix: Zombie Bite cocktail
  • Voldemort: Captain Morgan's Spiced Rum
  • Lucius Malfoy: Vodka where the potatoes are grown in unicorn dung and watered with unicorn tears BECAUSE SUCK IT DRACO
  • Narcissa Malfoy: Bombay Sapphire Gin and tonic.
  • Lupin: Moonshine
  • Sirius: 2013 Doggie Claws Barleywine from Hair of the Dog brewery
  • James Potter: Glenfiddich whiskey
  • Peter: White Rat pale ale from Osset Brewery
  • Fudge: Baileys Irish Cream
  • Umbridge: Strawberry flavour vodka Jelly shots
  • Hedwig: turpentine.

Hey again, (legal drinking-aged) kids!  Here’s another fandom cocktail for you.

I had a rough day today, and probably the best part of my day was a new chapter of Under the Ruins of a Walled City by @hollyhark.  In honor of that, and because I needed a stiff drink, here’s a cocktail based on her amazing kylux series Children, Wake Up.  More specifically, it’s based on the second installment Ceasefire:


  • 2 oz brandy
  • 1 oz peach schnapps
  • .5 oz Fireball cinnamon whiskey
  • 4 oz freshly brewed ginger tea
  • 1 tsp agave nectar

This is a more mellow, less medicinal variation on the hot toddies my make myself when I’m sick.  Warm and soothing with a pleasant burn to help with recovery after a horrific ordeal, but don’t let it lull you into a false sense of security because a couple of these will fuck you up.  Much like the fic they’re named after. ~ ♥

I’ve kissed innocent
and the earth quaked
fumbling too-dry lips
trying to find their footing
until they grow or give
in but a few
pivotal seconds

I’ve kissed cool
under maybe fireworks
after maybe dancing
never caring
ever living
children of the night
and marrow sucking
babes of morning

I’ve kissed desperate
tugged and scraped at
tasting like too many
stiff cocktails
not enough
… turns of phrase
in the hours when
the ghost of a weekday’s mess
banshee screams love songs
I used to listen to
in my parents parked car
afraid of being caught
wanting love

And I’ve kissed you
a million times
at least twice each night
right before we go to sleep
and there are no fireworks
no earthquakes
but it’s you I want
on that blanket on the hill
and it’s your hand I’m looking for
when this terrifying stack of life
crumbles to consume us