sticky shit

anonymous asked:

ugh..... lance slipping keith little cartoon-y cutesy drawings of hippos saying motivational things like "you got this!" or "you're doing better than you think!" when keith is feeling down? that just sounds canon to me

ANON LISTEN ……………………………

KANAYA: Rose Has My Hair Gone Messy?
ROSE: Why are you asking me this? Why don’t you look in the mi-
ROSE: Oh, sorry.
KANAYA: No Go On.
KANAYA: I Want You To Say It.

Things I Live For (BoB Edition)

• The look that Dick and Nix exchange after Dick is asked if it’s safe to cross in Carentan
• GENE’S PINK NOSE
• “We salute the rank, not the man.”
• Perconte’s height
• Webster’s little “They got me!”
• Luz starting the Airborne Infantry cadence while they’re running Curahee to drown out Sobel’s taunting
• “Lt Sobel hates us, sir.” “Lt Sobel does not hate Easy Company, Pvt Randleman. He just hates you.” “Thank you, sir.”
• Liebgott’s hair
• Whenever someone talks shit about Speirs, he is there and he knows
• Also Speirs’ sticky fingers like holy shit
•"Where the fuck is everybody? Where did everybody go?“ “I HAVE NO IDEA!”
• That moment in Bastogne where they’re all sitting in a circle making fun of their food and Hinkle
• Everything about Babe Heffron
• Perconte always brushing his teeth
• When the entire company sings Blood on the Risers
• “Bull, smack him for me please?” [soft smack] “Thank you.”
• Mama Lipton. Enough said
• If you get shot in the ass, you get a Hershey bar
• The way Nixon looks at Hitler’s wine cellar
• “I could use some brass knuckles.”

Please feel free to add your favorites on to the list
Word for Word (M)

Originally posted by jeonbase

“Less talking. More fucking. Yeah?”

Part 1 | Part 2

3.4k, smut, jungkook/reader, friends with benefits au (+ college + fuckboy)


Jeon Jungkook is a fuckboy through and through. If you look at all his social media photos, all you see are countless images of him sandwiched between two girls, his muscular arms wrapped around their shoulders. Two different girls in each picture, never the same. Most of the photos are dark, dimly lit party scenes with the flash in their eyes, but sometimes there are filter-saturated beach pictures in which Jungkook’s shirtless and hugging girls in bikinis.

(Quite frankly, at times you weren’t really sure who to be jealous of: Jungkook or the girls. Both looked really fucking good. But it’s not like you were really Instagram stalking him and actually cared about his pictures or anything. Totally not.)

Keep reading

Strawberries » Mark Tuan

Pairing: Chef!Mark X Waitress!Reader

Summary: It was the restaurant's tenth year anniversary, you a waitress had been crushing on the chef in the kitchen who was also your best friend since high school. Mark, he was always so kind and nice to you, but when he catches you eating strawberries something is different about his energy. 

❝You’ve always been a slut haven’t you?❞

❝ Have your tits grown since last time? Fuck they’re so big.

❝ I can’t help it, you make me so horny.

❝ Open your legs princess, I’m hungry.

Genre: Smut, Fluff

Warnings: Dirty talk, kitchen sex, oral (receiving) Word Count: 

 Word Count: 2.8k

“C'mon spill the beans y/n. You know you want to.” Jackson said sending a wink your way as you poured his glass of wine to half way. You rolled your eyes, quickly glancing around the restaurant before turning back to the group. 

“A year and a half.” You answered sheepish, Youngjae began coughing, BamBam dropping his fork onto his plate while the rest stared at you in shock. 

“How? What? W–” Jackson was cut off when you heard a customer call out from another table. 

“Sorry boys, gotta go.” You said leaving the table and walking towards the other elderly lady as she gestured to her empty glass and you gladly poured some more in to her desired height. 

You glanced towards the double doors that led into the kitchen, watching as they would open and close every time someone would walk through them. You were so caught up you didn’t realise or hear the lady. 

“Excuse me! You’re spilling the wine everywhere!” She complained, you looked down to see the white table cloth slowly turning a red shade and the glass overflowing. 

“Oh, I’m so sorry.” You apologised, quickly running into the kitchen to grab paper towels and napkins to help clean up a bit. 

“Don’t worry y/n, I got it.” Jisoo said walking out and towards the table. You sighed and began to unbutton your white shirt with red wine stains on it. 

“Y/n? You okay?” You turned your head to your right to see Mark, the chef. Mark was friends with the guys you served out there before. You two had been friends a little longer though. 

“Yeah, I’m just a little messy.” You chuckled, pulling the shirt to close over your chest that was now all sticky. Mark walked over and took off his cooking jacket, handing it to you. He wore a white t-shirt underneath so it was okay. He went back to cooking while you quickly slid off to the fridge. 

Opening it and stepping inside, it was cold so you tried to hurry. Slipping off the shirt when you felt how sticky your skin was. Shit! You thought. He won’t see much of me. You thought before calling out. 

“Mark! Could you come here please?” A few seconds later you heard a small knock on the door and opened it a little just to stick your face through slightly. 

“Could you bring a wet rag please?” You asked as he hurried off to get one before handing it to you and watching your face disappear as you close the door and begin to wipe away the sticky parts over your stomach and breasts. 

You grabbed his chef jacket and slipped it on, doing it up the best you could before stepping out. His jacket was warm, like you were in a warm oven almost. 

“Better?” He asked as you nodded and placed your dirty white blouse in the clothes bin. A basket that you put dirty aprons and rags to be washed later on when closing time comes around. 

Speaking of closing time, you glanced at the clock then out he small window to see customers leaving and Jisoo thanking them for their stay at the front door. You sighed and sat down, not wanting to go out. 

“What’s wrong?” Mark asked walking over and sitting down next to you. Seeing your pouted lips and glossy eyes. 

“Why did you hire me? Was it because I didn’t have a job and needed one or because I was your friend?” You asked and he sighed, placing a hand on your shoulder that caused electricity to shoot through your arm to your toes. 

Your heart rate picking up quickly and thumping in your ears. The tips of the shell of your ears turning a bright red. 

“Neither. I hired you because I like you. You’re cool and handy and help out a lot.” He said and you almost puked at his answer. It was cringy and caused you to scoff at his answer. 

“Aish~its true. Wait here.” He said, walking out of the kitchen quickly. Your stomach began to growl and you couldn’t help but place your hand on it to feel the small vibrations of your stomach crying for food. You weren’t allowed to eat from the stock room or fridge but having something small wouldn’t hurt? 

You crept over to the fridge, eyes on Mark as he was talking to Jisoo by the front door. You ran inside and grabbed some strawberries, stepping out and quickly trying to eat then but enjoy them. You could see Mark start to make his way back towards the kitchen. No time to enjoy then, you quickly downed them before Mark came back. 

“Sorry I had to dismiss Jisoo–” Mark came in and saw you sitting, back up straight and an innocent look on your face while your hands sat in your lap. 

“What did you do?” Mark asked, walking over. Glaring slightly, wondering what you had done or what you were up to. You just shook your head and played innocent. 

“Nothing, I’ve just been waiting for you to come back.” You said smiling slightly, he was now right in front of you. He brought his hand up and grazed the back of his knuckle over your cheek lightly. Before his fingers danced along your lips. He pressed the tip of his finger to your mouth and dragged it along your lower lip. 

You were confused but when he brought his finger tip to his own lips and sucked on it, you knew you were busted. But the sight in front of you caused you to freeze and the only thing you could do was rub your thighs together. 

A throaty groan left his lips as he closed his eyes. Taking in the taste and recognising it instantly. 

“Strawberries? Hmm? That’s interesting. But you do know you’re in trouble right?” He asked and you nodded. Face now red and burning you could swear someone had just hit you across the face. But that wasn’t the case now. 

“I mean there is one way you could get out of this…” he said, and you weren’t sure if it was just you but you swore you saw his eyes darken slightly and his wicked smirk sent shivers down your spine. And then it hit you. 

“No.” You said sternly, you did not want to go back there. It was long ago and a stupid dare. It was your final year in high school, you all were gathered at Youngjae’s place and playing truth or dare when you got dared to sleep with Mark. 

You didn’t want to at first but you had always liked him and saw this as your only way of ever having a chance with him. If you couldn’t date him might as well fuck him. You two remained friends and you all swore you would never speak of it again. Until now at least. 

“What? C'mon y/n, I can tell you want to. You’ve been wanting to date me since high school.” He said and you furrowed your eye brows. 

“How did you–I’m going to fucking kill him.” You growled, Jackson couldn’t keep his mouth shut could he? 

“Why? Can’t you just control yourself until you get home or find some girl?” You asked and he chuckled, backing you up against the counter now as the tip of his nose dragged along the skin on your neck as his eyes flickered up to yours. 

“I can’t help it, you make me so horny.” Your knees went weak at that sentence. Your hands behind you to hold you up to make sure you actually don’t collapse. Why was he doing this? To be fair Mark had never been a player, he had never really had a girlfriend either. 

And maybe sleeping with him one last time could make him finally ask you out. 

“Do I now?” You asked as his face now was only millimetres from yours. His lips ghosting and constantly brushing over yours. As if asking you to kiss him. You lips began to ghost over his neck now, lightly peppering kisses along it. 

His bottom lip disappeared between his teeth as he sucked in a harsh breath and craved his neck back. His Adams apple bobbed as you kissed over it. Tongue slightly grazing over his skin to leave wet kisses. 

“Fuck, you never fail to turn me on.” He breathed, eyes closing as you both just stood there. Her hands now coming up to rest and press down on his shoulders to push herself up and continue kissing his skin. You pulled back and smirked, enjoying yourself and his reaction. 

“You’re think it’s funny to tease? Princess-” he suddenly picked you up and pinned you down to the cold metal counter. Your legs automatically wrapping around his waist as he hovered over you. 

“-I’m the fucking king of teasing.” And with that his lips connected with your neck. Kissing, sucking, nibbling in spots to try and create the desired purple circles. Your hands found his hair and began to thread your fingers through his locks, the tugging causing his to grown slightly against your skin. 

You found yourself bucking your hips into his and trying to create some friction. Thank god you finished your period a week ago. You continued to grind yourself against him. The thin material of your black suit pants able to move against the blue jeans he wore. 

The roughness of his material and his boner straining causing your pussy to throb and your arousal begin to soak through your panties. You began helping him undo the button and take off his kitchen jacket, discarding the material to the floor as his lips made their way down to suck at one of the ball of flesh. 

The red lace covering your hardened nipples now joining the jacket on the floor. His hands began to massage the skin, you couldn’t believe this all was still happening. 

“Have your tits grown since last time? Fuck they’re so big.” Your back began to arch as you craved for more of his touch. 

“Please just do something to me. Fuck me. Taste me. Touch me. Do something.” You whined, still grinding your hips into his. His fingers began to fumble with the dress pants button and the zipper. Your pants came off quickly to reveal your matching red underwear. 

He couldn’t help but chuckle as he noticed the wet patch. Fingers pressing against it, your underwear sticking to your wet lips. Fingers slowly moving up and down, along your slit and avoiding your clit. You began to whimper, bucking your hips as you basically begged for him to touch your bundle of nerves. 

You just wanted a release so badly, wanting to cum all over his fingers and tongue. Wanting to cum all over his cock. 

“Mark please…” you finally whined, your high and soft plea caused him to chuckle. Eyes scanning over your body as he watched how your body reacted with his simple touch. 

“What’s that princess?” He asked, placing a finger behind the shell of his ear and pushing it. Acting like he didn’t know what you said but he just wanted to be an ass.  

“Mark just please just touch me.” You practically begged like a four-year-old. 

“Like this?” He asked, fingers now grazing over your clit lightly, the feeling enough to cause your hips to rise and back to arch. 

“Y/n you don’t understand how hard it is for me not to fuck you so hard right now.” He growled, hand slipping underneath your panties and rubbing your clit in slow circles. 

“Don’t stop.” You moaned, hips continuously bucking into nothing as he sat there smirking. 

“You’re different from last time. You’re less vocal.” He said, fingers now gone and your panties pooling at your feet. 

“Lets change that.” He smirked, stepping back and watching you sit up on your elbows and look down at him as he began to get down on his knees. 

“Open your legs princess, I’m hungry.” Your knees were pried apart and his mouth immediately sucked on your clit. Your breath hitching as the sudden action happened. Your hands found his hair and tangled your fingers in it. 

Head now thrown back as loud moans left your mouth and the sounds of his lips sucking away at you echoing throughout the kitchen. 

“Fuck Mark!” You basically yelled when he began to nibble at your clit and slid two fingers into your dripping pussy. The feeling of yourself wrapped around his fingers while he thrusted them in and out of you. Trying to get you to cum. 

“You’ve always been a slut haven’t you?” If Mark said that sentence to you casually you would have back handed him but right now, him using dirty talk to edge you closer only build up the frustration in your stomach. 

You could feel yourself begin to clench around his fingers, your moans grew louder and you began to squirm as he tried to hold you down. 

“Y/n if you keep moving I’ll stop and leave you without an orgasm.” He warned, eyes dark and you could tell he wasn’t kidding around. Not even daring to challenge him to managed to keep your body from moving too much and continued to enjoy the feeling of his tongue and fingers on you. 

“I’m gonna cum, fuck make me cum Mark.” You whined, hips bucking into his mouth more as the last flick of his tongue on your clit was what sent you over the edge. His wet muscle pulling away while his fingers pumped in and out of you to ride out your high. 

Your heavy pants and sweaty forehead was not enough to tell Mark you were fucked out. You weren’t ready to get straight into fucking yet but he didn’t care. He quickly pushed down his own pants, his boxers along with them and thrusted himself in. 

No warning, no teasing, no nothing. Just hard and fast and before you knew it you were clutching onto his shoulders with your legs wrapped around his waist. Enjoying the angle and position but it wasn’t enough and Mark could tell. 

“Fuck, turn around and lean over the table.” He ordered, pulling out and getting off you. Quickly following his order you now mated your body against the cool metal table as he ran his tip through your folds before sliding back in and going back to his pace. 

“Fuck, keep doing that.” He said through gritted teeth with a clenched jaw, you weren’t sure what he meant but picked up on your constant clenching around him. 

“Nice and fucking tight, just like last time.” He hissed, throwing his head back as his high began to approach and you weren’t far behind. The familiar stinging feeling in your stomach growing with each thrust into your g-spot. Your legs began to shake as you got closer and closer to your orgasm. 

Your pussy beginning to pulse against his cock as you basically screamed at the feeling of how hard he was thrusting into you at this point. 

“Fuck, I’m gonna–” the choked groan he let out was what sent you over the edge, now riding out his and your high before both finally coming to a stop. You stood back up straight, legs slightly wobbly as he helped you sit on the cool table. 

All Mark could do was smirk at you, before placing the familiar red heart shaped fruit to your lips. 

“Open.” He demanded and you obliged happily, eyes never straying from his as he slid the piece between your lips and watched as you hit down into it. Taking it all except the part with the green on it. 

“So did you really have a thing for me in high school?” You knew this would come back to haunt you, hence why you were never going to tell the guys anything again. Especially Jackson when they cousins seem to keep their mouths shut. 

“I mean, yeah. Like you were always there for me and all and you were always my ideal type.” You said, looking down at the floor as you began to slowly get dressed. 

“So do you want to go out sometime?” He asked and you met his eyes, searching for the joke but there was none. 

“Define ‘go out.’” You said, adding the quotations with your fingers to high light the key words. He just chuckled and looked at the ground before looking back up and licking is lips. 

“Well, I don’t exactly have the money to take you to some fancy 5-Star restaurant but I’m sure my old red truck, some blankets in the back and the drive-in could do?” You couldn’t help but smile, you had some good memories in that truck. And you meant that in a very, non-sexual way with Mark. 

Most were good but there were still some bad ones but in the end they turned out alright. 

 "Pick me up at eight.“

crispykrimi  asked:

I read your fic Sticky Notes last night when I couldn't sleep and oh my goodness. Really good job. I loved every second and laughed by butt off so many times. Great characterization and beautiful writing, just 10/10 thank you for writing that.

AHSLDHFLSHDJF THANK YOU

I did my best to live up to the premise and my favorite bnha ship. Every compliment I get on my characterization is amazing because I really worried that they were being too dumb for such smart people ahaha.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read it, that really means a lot! I’m so glad you enjoyed it!

Originally posted by cainternn

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via snoopslimes on insta!

anonymous asked:

can you do one where you and harry are best friends and you walk in on him jerking off or something and smut ensues?

You and Harry had made plans to spend the day together at his place. He had the weekend off from touring and since he was close to home, he figured it was a good weekend to spend some time with you.

However, the night before you were supposed to come over, he didn’t sleep very well. His body felt tense, and it just wouldn’t let him fall asleep. So he turned to what he knew helped him relax, forgetting that you tend to show up early with donuts and water in hand, as if the water cancels out all the calories of the donuts.

And since Harry forgot about that, whenever you arrived at his house, you let yourself in. You couldn’t find Harry anywhere on the first floor so you took the donuts and water upstairs, only to hear faint sounds coming from Harry’s room.

The noises sounded like your name, and since they were so faint, you thought Harry was still in bed but was telling you to come inside since he knew you were there.

Keep reading

WHAT DOES HONK MEAN THIS TIME YOU WHIMSICAL PIECE OF SHIT????? DON’T YOU START WITH ME. DO. NOT. START WITH ME. I WILL GET YOU IN A HEADLOCK SO TIGHT IT WILL BE A MIRACLE IF PEOPLE DON’T MISTAKE OUR TUSSLE FOR AN ILL CONCEIVED VENTRILOQUIST ACT. I WILL SHOOSH YOU AGAIN, SO HELP ME GOD. I WILL SHOOSH YOUR CLOWN ASS TO SHANGRI-BULLSHIT-LA AND BACK, AND FILL YOU EAR WITH MY WHITE HOT PALEBRO SPITTLE. I AM FULL AND FUCKING WELL PREPARED TO GET CONCILIATORY WITH YOU AGAIN IF YOU SO MUCH AS PASS GAS MURDERUOUSLY, DO YOU UNDERSTAND? IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT??? DO I NEED TO CALM YOUR FAYGO-STICKY TENTSQUATTING SHIT DOWN AGAIN????
—  Karkat Vantas (page 6250)
XF Tipsy Challenge - Ice

discliamer: consistent perspective and accurate characteriization is for… sober people. 

Jesus fuck, what a little spitfire.

With her cute little ponytail. Sweet little lips. Fuck.


Palms his dick in the dark, over his pants.

Cute little ponytail… wanna pull on it.. mmm. Like the way you gasp. Are you saying, Ms. Scully, that mean old Fox Mulder pulled your ponytail at recess? Means he likes you, that’s all.

It’s hard to be rational in a winter storm. Hard to remember that she’s his colleague. Hard to remember there are worms here. Hard to remember that a guy died like… three hours ago. Hard. Very, very, painfully… hard. He slips his fingers under his waistband.

Mmmm. Cute lil ass tackling the Big Bad Bear… spunk. That’s what it is. She’s got spunk. Wanna… wanna pull that cute little ponytail. Make you say my name. Mmm. Fiery little thing. Wanna make you come.

Warm hand gripping his shaft. Mmm. Love your cute little hands… yes, Dr. Scully, I think you’d better take a very close look. Yes, closer. Mmmm. Wanna see it on your sweet little face. Wanna rub it on your pretty little nose. Why yes, Dr. Scully, it is a fine specimen, thank you very much. You like it? You want it?
  

Thumb traces the head of his cock, gently, precisely, like he imagines she’d touch him.

You’re a bad girl, Dana –
Um, yikes, maybe Dana was too intimateScully, then… You’re a bad girl, Scully… I’ve seen the way you look at me. What are you thinking about? My cock? You’re thinking about my big cock between those pretty lips of yours? You wanna suck me off? You wanna show me what else that smart little tongue can do? You wanna see if you can say ‘hypothalamus’ with my dick in your throat? Well… I’m nothing if not obliging…

Stroking, now, tight-fisted and jaw clenched. That’s right baby, swirl your tongue around the head. Good girl. Good, good, good girl. Yes, baby, play with my balls… mmm. Lick 'em. Good girl. Such a good girl. Yes, look up at me with those pretty blue eyes… mmm. You’re so good to me, Scully. You like my dick in your mouth? You’re so pretty with my dick in your mouth. So pretty.

Oh god, FUCK gotta make this last. Slow down. FUCK. Slow down. Slow down. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Phew.

Mmmmmmmm… So pretty. Wanna see your pretty little pussy.
Ooo, shaved? No. Not a bush… she’s no Phoebe… something neat and tidy and definitely red. Yes. Natural redhead. Of course. Sweet pink little pussy… gorgeous. Wet for me. So wet for me. Glistening. Dripping. Oh, fuck yesssss… Naughty girl. I’ve seen the way you look at me. Yes… do I make you wet, baby? I do? So wet that you keep an extra pair of panties at the office? So wet that you have to scurry off on those cute little legs and touch yourself in the bathroom sometimes?

You naughty little whore.
Oh, that didn’t feel so good… okay, not a whore. Slut? No. Um. Baby’s good. Scully. And baby. And good girl. Okay.

Scully, you’re a naughty little…. you’re so naughty, Scully. Sweet pink little pussy. Red hair. Cute little landing strip. Wonder if she’s got freckles on her belly, too. Souvenirs from sunbathing on holiday… Yes. She does.

Cute little freckles. Cute little pussy. Wanna lick it. Wanna taste it. Mmmmmmm, baby, so wet for me. So hot and sweet and good… yes, say my name… scream it, baby, no one’s listening… Fox!!
Oh, wow, yikes, no. Mulder!! That’ll work. Yes, Scully, grind on my face, baby, yes, come for me, come for me… wanna make you scream… yes FUCK grind your cute little pussy against my mouth… yesssssssssssssFUCK. FuckfuckfuckScullybabyfuuuuhuuuuuuccccccccccckkkHNNGGG…

… holy fuck. goddamn. phew. 


Shit, can’t keep doing that. Gonna get attached. Shit, chest’s all sticky now. Shit. You’re an asshole. She’s a scientist and a damn good agent. You dumb fuck. She’s your partner, you dumb fuck. Okay, that’s the last time. The last time. I swear.