sticking lip up

**Grunge Fashion Aesthetic**

Walnut (Evan Hansen x Reader)

TW: SMUT, really smutty, like use of the word boobs and condom

Words: 2,176

Requested: Nope lol

Disclaimer: this is my very first smut… ever. if i am absoloutley garbage - please tell me. seriously. i will stop lol. anyways, this is a super fumbly/nervous smut thing bc lets be real… evan would not be the most confident in this region. 


Yours and Evan’s relationship seemed to fall into a format that could be related to English literature: repeated and rhythmically patterned. The moment you two start doing something, you couldn’t stop. After your first kiss, Evan would not stop pecking you on the lips. After your first time holding hands, Evan couldn’t bare not capturing your fingers and intertwining them with his. Just last month, you and Evan had your first make out session.

It was strange at first. It took a while to getting used to. It would start off with a kiss, standing up. Then Evan would have to break away to control his breathing from excitement. It took a while to find a sitting position where you were both comfortable to lock lips. A few fumbles and bumped heads later, it was decided that the best spot was if you straddled Evan’s lap whilst he sat on his bed - leaning against the wall.

The make out session would include straddling and hair pulling at the bare minimum. It was so new to both you and Evan that you had to make a code word. Every time one of you got a little too excited, you would murmur the word walnut. That would give you or Evan time to calm down before continuing in kissing. At the beginning of the month, it was quite rare that the word would need to be used. 2-3 weeks into the make out month, Evan had used it 6 times and you twice. Now, at the end of the month, Evan needed a break every 10 minutes.

           Today was like every other day of the month. Evan greeted you after last period with a kiss. You two would walk to his house, holding hands. Stepping through the door, he led you upstairs. The two of you giggled like children. Evan’s mom was rarely home. Which could give you the range of make out spot possibilities, but Evan didn’t like change. Evan liked security and being able to know what goes on around him. Because of that, each afternoon snog would be in his room, with the door shut.

           You reached up onto your tip toes and grabbed Evan’s face in your hands. Smiling widely, you connected your lips together. Evan immediately placed his hands on your hips, pulling you into his lanky frame. Smiling against his warmth, you slowly led him to the edge of his bed so he could scurry against the wall; for you to get into your regular seating position. The moment you swung your legs around his hips and sat on him, his eyes grew wide.

           “Walnut,” he whispered, as if the world could hear him.

           “Already?” you question curiously.

           He nodded quickly, swallowing hard. You nodded with a small smile, obviously respecting his wishes to take a quick breather. After a few moments passed, he gave you the nod to keep going. You pressed your lips back to his, moving your mouth in sync. Your hands brushed up his blue polo and into his sandy locks. He let out the smallest of whimpers. It left butterflies in your stomach. Evan’s hands ran up and down your sides. Pulling away from his lips, you looked into his sunken eyes.

           “We are going to try something a little different, okay?” you searched his eye for approval. He gulped and nodded slowly.

           You continued to kiss him, then slowly trailed them down his neck. About two inches away from his ear, he seemed to become weak. You applied the smallest amount of pressure, and you felt his body stiffen.

           “Walnut,” he stammered.

           You kept going. Taking his hands in yours, you slowly guided them north – up to your breasts. 

          “Walnut,” his eyes flew open and watched intensely as to where you set his hands. You held his hands there, making them apply pressure to the new destination. 

          “Walnut, ohmygod, walnut,” he pracitcally hollered. 

            You pulled away quickly, looking at your loving boyfriend. His hair was sticking up, his lips were swollen, eyes were wide, and a small tent forming in his khakis. 

             “I-It was a really close call this time,” he breathed out, blushing like a mad man. 

              “Evan, we should really talk about this,” you looked at him with wide eyes.

               “Ohmygod, you think I’m so weird, don’t you? I-I can try my best, next time? I will try and last as long as I can without saying it-”

               “No, no, Evan. It’s not that,” you chuckled. You could hear him sigh with relief. “I’ve been thinking about this whole thing. You have been saying the code word so often, that it’s just- I don’t know-”

           “W-What is it?” he scrambled to hold your hand, running his thumb over your knuckles.

           “You’ll find it silly,” you laughed sheepishly, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

           “Me? F-Find it silly? No way…José,” he gave you an awkward, toothy grin.

           “Okay, okay, I was just thinking – God, I don’t know, - that it’s silly how we go so far and you get so worked up and then we never… I don’t know… finish?”

           “Y-You mean, you want to-“

           “Only if you want to-“

           “W-Well maybe we could-“

           “Oh my gosh, Evan, i-it’s okay-“

           “No,” he took both of your hands in his, looking up into your eyes. “I want to. I-I really want to.”

           Evan’s mom was coming home in an hour. So you and Evan decided that tomorrow evening would be the best.

-

It was the next morning; you had just gone to the guidance counselor to ask for a condom. You asked Evan to pick up a package of them at the corner store, but he was afraid that somehow – they would end up telling the whole town.

The entire day was filled with excitement. Yours and Evan’s face stayed a shade of firetruck red all afternoon. During lunch, Evan rested his hand on your thigh, which only made your blushing worse. Of course, Jared picked up on it and made an obnoxious comment. Something the along the lines of being “fucking gay”, and calling Evan a “weird sex freak”.

The final bell had rang and you practically ran into Evan. You giggled at each other, knowing that he had rushed to meet you too.

-

Evan closed his bedroom door and suddenly got nervous. You frowned when you saw him fumbling with the material of his shirt.

“What’s wrong, Evan?” you asked softly. You sat him down on his bed, sitting next to him. Running your hand up his arm, you tried your best to comfort him. He shrugged in response. “We don’t have to do this,” you reminded him. “I’m more than happy to wait. This is a consensual thing. I love you, you know that, right?” you cracked a smile, and saw him crack one too.

           “I-I want to do this. I-I’m just scared. What if I mess up? What if I…” he began to trail off. He looked up at you and whispered, “what if I cum too early?”

           Your face turned red to match his. “It’s okay if all of that happens. This is a learning experience for the both of us. We can go slow,” you kissed him gently on the cheek. You waited for him to respond. Obviously, you would never pressure him to do something like this.

           Evan turned to you, “can we still use walnut?”

           Giggling, you nodded, “Of course.”

           Evan scooted to rest his back on the wall, pulling you up onto his lap. “I-I’m ready,” he whispered against your lips.

           You two started out as per usual. Evan didn’t use the code word once. You were kissing his neck, until he pulled away, gesturing to his shirt.

           “Should I take this off?” he asked very calmly.

           You nodded, helping him remove his polo. You were breathless at the sight. His pale form was structured like a sculpture. Every muscle, vein, and freckle was beautifully scattered on his flesh. Birth marks, moles, and little chest hairs dusted his torso. You ran your fingertips along the stretch marks that had been placed there from his middle school growth spurts.

           “You, Evan Hansen, are beautiful,” you reminded him. Evan turned an even deeper shade of red.

           Taking his hands, you guided him to the hem of your sweater. You allowed him to pull it off of you, revealing your bare skin and plain push-up bra.

           “Wow…” he breathed out, absoloutley mesmerized. You began to feel the familiar tent beneath your lap.

           “You can-um, you can touch me,” you reminded him nervously, with a small giggle.

           He reached up shakily, cupping your bra in his hands. He felt you cautiously, as if he could easily break you. He was speechless. It was the first real pair of boobs he had ever seen.

           You giggled at his expression, reaching behind you unclasping your bra. As Evan kneaded your skin, he gasped as the material fell off of your breasts. His tent grew tighter and his eyes became wider. You guided his hands to your nipples, letting him touch the sensitive nubs. You threw your head back with a whimper. Evan was shaking. 

W-Walnut, ohmygod, shit, walnut,” he whispered between his teeth. 

You nodded, watching as his eyes shut tight and his hands froze in place. You could tell that he was trying to calm his breathing. You were surprised at his sudden colourful language. A few moments passed, and your boyfriend slowly opened his eyes. 

“Did you-”

“N-No, I’m still- um- full,” he mumbled back quickly. 

You giggled at his word choice and placed his hands on your hips. You pressed your lips to his, trying to give him a feeling of familiarity. Evan soon became comfortable, taking the slightest bit of control. His fingers traced down to the hemline of your jeans. He popped open the button. Climbing off of him, you laid down beneath him, watching him hover over your body. He slid your jeans down your legs, placing the material to the side. His eyes gazed over your body, drinking the sight before him. 

Walnut,” he whispered. 

You sighed, leaning your head back on the pillow as his eyes shut tight again. 

“I-I’m sorry, I’m sorry. It’s just that- You’re laying there- fuck- you just look so good. And holy hell I don’t know if I can-” 

Giggling, you stopped his rambling. “Ev, it’s okay. I will wait as long as you want me to.” 

After the second walnut calling, everything went smoothly. You were finally fully bare, and Evan was left in his boxers. 

“A-Are you okay for me to take these off?” you asked him, placing your hand on the band of his underwear. He nodded quickly, watching your every move. 

Carefully, you pulled the white cotton off of his pelvis. His length sprung out of his boxers, hitting his stomach. You looked at his newly exposed flesh, then back at his face. “You’re doing great, Ev. You really are,” you whispered to him. Slowly, you reached out your hand and stroked him once. 

“S-Stop, or I’ll-” he whimpered out. 

“Okay, okay,” you nodded, reaching over to grab the condom before he stopped you. You raised an eyebrow to give him a questioning look. 

“I-I want you to cum, too. And I… I won’t last that long,” he mumbled sheepishly. You smiled at his concern, giving him a kiss on the cheek. He was doing so well, and you really admired that he thought of you and your pleasure. 

“Is there any way to get you, um, closer before I… ya know…” he asked quietly. 

Nodding slowly, you guided his hand to your heat. You let him rub you in a repeatitive motion. Soon, Evan got the hang of things, letting you put your hand on his shoulder - rather than guiding him. His thumb found your most sensitive nub. 

“What does this do?” he asked in a whisper, lightly tapping it. 

You inhaled sharply. “That felt really good,” you admitted with an even bigger blush. 

His continuous tapping brought you closer and closer to a high. You stopped him when you were almost at your breaking point.

“O-Okay, I’m ready,” you whispered up at him.

Evan opened up the condom, rolling it on to himself. He looked at you once more for permission. You gave him a nod, smiling. Before he entered you, he whispered against your lips.

“I love you.”

He slid into you, neither of you lasting more than 15 seconds. Evan hit his orgasm first, absolutely melting in your hands. His whole body shook. Then it was your turn, grappling your finger nails into the flesh on his spine.

-

Hedi came home around 10pm that night. You and Evan were cuddled on the couch, bones aching and hearts swelling. She opened the door with bags full of groceries.

“Aw, my two little lovebirds,” she mumbled. Putting down the grocery bags, she pulled out a plastic container. “Do you guys want some candied walnuts?”

Evan turned red.