stiarcase

#9 - Another Boy Finds You Self Harming (Part 2)

*possible trigger warning*

Ashton: When the two of you reached the bottom step, you watched Ashton’s head snap up, smiling before noticing Luke’s expression. “Uh,Luke, what are you doing?” he asked, coming a bot closer to you two. “Ashton, you have to remain calm okay, the last thing (Y/N) needs is her boyfriend to freak out at her.” He turned to you. “I’m sorry (Y/N), but this can’t go unnoticed.” Your head fell, embarrassment coming over you. “Why would I freak out?” Ashton had a nervous chuckle leave his lips. Luke glanced at you, gesturing you forwards with a head nod. You let the burning red arm come into view. Aston’s eyes fell to the intense red lines, his whole expression faltering. No longer was he oblivious to your little secret. “You guys need some time to talk this out,” Luke cut in quietly. “I’ll talk to you later guys.” Neither of you watched him leave. You couldn’t tear your eyes off of Ashton, who was shaking his head and turning away from you. He sat down on one of the kitchen stools, hiding his face in his hands. He was much more upset than you were expecting. But then again you would be pretty upset too if someone you loved had done something so awful to themselves. “When were you planning on telling me (Y/N),” he mumbled, peeking out at you briefly, waiting for an answer. “I-I…. I wasn’t….” Your answer was just loud enough that he would hear it. “So you’re meaning to tell me, if Luke hadn’t found you, this would keep going?” All you could do was nod. “And what if you went too far (Y/N). What if one day you went too far? I wouldn’t know what to do with myself. Hell, I should’ve noticed earlier!” Ashton’s anger was not towards you anymore, it was towards himself. “I should’ve noticed dammit.” You immediately felt an overwhelming feeling of guilt. And then you just broke. “Ashton I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry. I should’ve said something but I was scared! My last boyfriend knew and you know what he did? He left! I didn’t want that to happen to you because I love you too much to see you walk out the door because of this. I’ll try to stop just please… Don’t leave me like the rest.” It was as if you could hear Ashton’s heart actually breaking. He was speechless, looking upon you with hurt in his eyes. Getting up, you watched him stride over to you, taking your arm and gently pressing his lips to the wound before hugging you to his chest.“I’m not like the rest of them baby…” You sniffled into his shoulder, resting in his arms. “I promise babe… It’s okay… We’re gonna work together on this okay? We’re gonna get you better.”

Calum: You waited at the top of the stairs while Michael went downstairs to talk to Calum. Because you were too scared to do it yourself, especially in front of everyone, Michael had taken him off into a private space where he was able to explain. The whole time, you were leaning against the wall, anxiety pulsing through your body. You knew that at any moment, Calum was going to come up the stairs and that’s when everything would crumble. You were never quite a pro at confrontations. Listening to the conversations downstairs followed by the front door closing and silence, this was it. His footsteps made the floor creak as he got closer and looking down the long stiarcase, Calum’s sad face appeared. The two of you looked at each other from the different levels. “C'mere (Y/N)…” He spoke softly, quietly, gently. You hesitated, scared that he was just masking his anger until you got down to the bottom of the stairs. “A-Are you mad..?” you stuttered, taking a step down. “No. No I’m not mad. Just please come here…” Slowly you walked down the stairs until you were on step higher than him. “I just wanna see…” Slowly, he lifted up your baggy shirt, just nough so he could see the damage that had been done already. Your ribs were protruding to the point of being extremely unhealthy. With a nod, he lowered the material back down and looked at you with big sad eyes. “I-I… I don’t know what to say… I guess I don’t understand why… You were healthy and beautiful before… I mean, you’re still beautiful, but you’re not healthy… I… I guess I didn’t prove to you enough. But babe, this isn’t the way to go if you want to lose weight… I should be taking you to a hospital.” Your eyes widened at the word ‘hospital’. “No… Cal please.” He put his hands on your bony hips, rubbing soft circles. “If you don’t want me to take you to the hospital, then we need to start getting you back up to regular eating habits. We’ll start slow but… please? Eat something small tonight. And then we’ll go straight to bed so it can’t come up.” Not waiting for your answer, he took your hand and led you into the kitchen, setting you on one of the bar stools, he got a small yogurt from the fridge. “If you can even only get half of this small thing down, I’ll be happy.” Calum handed you a spoon and stood across the island. As much as you didn’t want to, you picked up the spoon and took a little on the end, slipping it into your mouth and letting it stay there for a little bit before swallowing. A small smile crept on your boyfriends face and you continued until the container was empty. “I was more hungry than I thought,” you admitted, looking down at your fingers. “And you finished. That’s wonderful. Now let’s go to bed, and we’ll have the same thing tomorrow. If you want to try something a bit bigger for lunch… well. we’ll figure it out then.” He smiled and put his arm around your waist, leading you up to bed for the night.

Luke: Luke looked at Ashton and then down to you, the situation clear as day. He froze in the doorway, your crying the only sound in the room. Ashton knelt next to you, putting a comforting arm on your back and cautiously taking the razor from your hand. You didn’t put up any fight. You just gave up and fell against your friend as your boyfriend watched on. Ashton tried his best to comfort you, telling Luke to go get a bandage to wrap your arm. He did as he was told and returned shortly, finally snapping back into reality as he grabbed your arm gently and began wrapping. You had managed to calm down enough to sit up on your own, but not enough to look him in the eyes. You were scared of the disappointment, the hurt, the anger that you would see and you just couldn’t deal with it. Once he finished, he kept your wrist in his hands and looked at you. “Ashton, can I have some time with (Y/N) please?” Ashton nodded, getting up. “I’ll be downstairs if you need anything.” You weakly smiled as he left, turning your attention back to Luke who let out a sad sigh. “I thought you had stopped.” His face was almost blank, and you remembered the first time he had found out about your little habit. You had promised that if the urges came back, the first thing you would do is tell him or someone that you trusted and try to distract yourself from the initial thought. “I was in this trance I… I don’t know what happened…” You whispered, looking up into his blank stare. “I hate to say this (Y/N), but I don’t know what else to do… I don’t think I can individually help you. Maybe you need someone with more… experience. Get some different methods on helping yourself.” “You’re giving up..?” you replied quietly, not quite understanding the context of his offer. “No! No not at all! I’m simply taking the next step for you… I’m going to continue helping you and I’ll come to your appointments and everything but please… I’m so scared of losing you (Y/N), this can’t continue.” You knew he was right, so you nodded, feeling his arms envelope you. You took it in, wrapping your arms around his as well. “I love you… I refuse to lose you you… not this way.”

Michael: About 20 minutes later, low and behold, your boyfriend walked in, his hands tucked into the pockets of his jeans. He saw you guys and walked over. “Hey guys.” Calum smiled and pulled up a chair. He sat down next to you and took your hand, bringing it up and kissing it. “Not to be rude but why’d you call me?” Calum looked to you and then back to Michael. “(Y/N) has told me something that I think you need to know.” Michael looked to you, furrowing his brows. “Really babe?” You shook your head, having second thoughts. “Oh no, it’s nothing important.” You took a sip of your water, Calum narrowing his eyes at you. “If starving yourself isn’t important, then fine.” You widened your eyes at him, your first clenching that he would do that to you. “Wait what?” Michael chirped in. “(Y/N) what does Calum mean?” “Nothing,” you snapped, keeping your eyes on your friend. “I said if starving yourself is not a big deal than fine. But keeping it a secret? (Y/N) that is a big deal. It could’ve gotten out of hand if I didn’t say anything. You know that. You would’ve gotten so malnourished it would’ve killed you. You know we would’ve noticed you getting so deadly thin, but what if it was too late to do anything?” By the end of his small rant you had tears streaming down your face, the harsh reality hitting you like a brick wall. Calum was right. You knew it was dangerous, you had just been so caught up in the idea of losing weight that you were almost oblivious to the serious issues that were taking place at the same time. “(Y/N)..? Is that true?” Michael asked, squeezing your hand. All you could do was nod, a lump in your throat. You heard Michael sigh before speaking. “Cal, I’m gonna take her home. Thank you for calling me down… We’ll keep in touch okay?” Calum got up nodding, coming over to hug you. Michael led you out of the small restaurant, keeping a firm hold on your small hand. “We’re gonna work on this together okay?” Was the first thing out of his mouth. “If you were hiding it because you thought I was going to leave. You don’t need to think that anymore… Because I’m not going anywhere. We’re gonna get you through this. I promise.”