Season 5 Episode 19. I started to watch this show because of stupid Tumblr. Being an SPN fan, our fandom kept making comparisons. Now I am five weeks in, watching the current episodes and binge watching at the same time. My lesson plans have suffered and well some of essays haven’t gotten the best look-overs. I have fallen in love with Danno and Steve. I love all the cast. And then this episode… This is Commander McGarrett finding the photos that a child predator took of his victims. I found myself crying right along with him. The only show that has been able to pull that off with me is SPN. And now this. Why didn’t all you out there warn me about this? Hawaii 5 0 you have ruined my life.

Still not over this exchange:
  • Danny: Let me explain something to you, you do not know. I do not like cats.
  • Steve: I love cats.
  • Danny: Of course you love cats.
  • Steve: Yeah, I love cats. Who doesn't love cats? They're awesome. They're like adorable little ninjas. They're smart, and they're fast, they're, uh, cute and cuddly at the same time.

Charlie calling Steve, Uncle Steven. Steve’s heart melting when he hears Charlie say it because he’s a spitting image of his father and sounds just like him. Anytime Charlie gets mad at him and says “"Uncle Steven.” Steve can’t hide the big grin on his face because he says it with the same tone and facial expression as Danny. Steve watching Charlie. Steve trying not to laugh when Charlie gets cranky because he literally sounds like a 5 year old Danny.

Their most recent case has a bad ending. Each team member’s resulting fallout at the end of the day and their own way of coping/not coping…

Lou leaves HQ and just drives with no particular destination in mind. The control he has over the vehicle seems to be the only thing giving him comfort; comfort that he needs because he feels inches away from breaking down. It is, of course, inevitable that he eventually ends up on his own front porch and leaving that said comfort. Lou’s not sure how long he was on the road but it’s dark outside now and it doesn’t look like anyone is awake. Not making his way inside he just sits on the steps and lets his head fall into his hands. Renee is coming outside not much later and he is both grateful and ashamed to have her see him like this. However, when she finds a place sat next to him and he looks to face her, there is no judgment in her eyes. So he cries and she holds him and all the while Will and Samantha watch from the window in sad understanding.

Chin goes home as soon as he can to find Sarah and Abby waiting for him. He doesn’t say anything about the day but Abby seems to know just by looking at him and she gives him a long hug before going to fix dinner. Chin is mostly quiet for the entire night except to answer the innocent and carefree questions of Sarah. He takes a long shower after they eat and he remains there for so long the water runs cold. He doesn’t cry but his body aches, his head hurts, and he’s almost afraid to go to sleep due to the off chance he might see it all over again in his dreams. When he enters his bedroom he doesn’t expect to get into his bed for that very reason, but Abby and Sarah are there. Both of them are tucked in under his blankets in their pajamas and Sarah holds up a book she wants help reading. He slowly gets into the bed beside them, wrapping his arms around his niece and laying his head on Abby’s lap. The little girl begins to read and he’s asleep before the start of the third page.

Kono stays behind at HQ for a while, although not as long as Steve and Danny. She gives both boys a hug before she leaves and calls Adam on the way to her car. She immediately heads to her favorite surfing spot almost on default and she admittedly breaks various driving laws in order to get there in record time. Once she arrives she doesn’t do anything right away, instead just standing at the edge of the water with the waves lapping at her feet. She breathes in the salty air for a while and closes her eyes and feels as the sun sets. Adam meets her there a while later and wraps his arms around her with a calm and silence she needs and appreciates. Fully clothed they eventually wade into the water together and Kono clings to her husband as they float in the shallow waves. Her tears fall and mix with ocean and they stay there until well after the stars have come out.

Danny remains in his office until nightfall doing paperwork that could easily be put off for a week. Even Steve leaves before he does. The silence surrounding him is what eventually motivates him to pack up and leave, not being able to stand the loneliness anymore. He drives home with the stereo in the Camaro blasted as loud as he dares to make it without ruining either the speakers or his ear drums. The house is quiet too though, and it makes him mad to the point where he’s kicking the side of the couch in frustration. He contemplates calling Rachel and begging to see Grace and Charlie, if only for just an hour. But it’s late and he’s a mess who hasn’t slept in at least forty-eight hours and hasn’t taken a shower in an even longer amount of time. Danny doesn’t want the kids to see him like this, only he can’t stay home to sit with his own thoughts. With one last kick to the helpless sofa he stuffs his keys back into his pocket and heads out of the door.

Steve is sitting on the lanai, starting on his fourth beer. He can’t help but feel guilty for the day’s events, the whole week’s events, and it’s eating him up inside. Different scenarios run through his head and he asks himself over and over again what he could have done differently but the result is always the same. He takes another sip of his beer and leans back against his seat. Steve had immediately tried to compartmentalize and tuck away the pain of the case the moment he got home but his usual walls used to deflect these kinds of things don’t seem to be working. He stays like that, trying to push down his emotions and thoughts for another long hour before he hears the sound of the front door opening and closing. He doesn’t bother going for his gun, preparing for a potential attacker, because he’d recognize the gait of that person anywhere. He listens to what sounds like Danny digging through his kitchen before the man comes out and sits beside him. Neither of them say anything but they share a look and Danny puts a hand on his forearm and leaves it there before they stare up at the night sky together and it’s enough.

One night - Steve Mcgarrett

You were in the libary at the Hawaiin University. Studying wasnt your favourite part to do today. But because you always wanted to study this you needed to get your shit together and learn for this exam next week. You had difficulty to understand certain areas. But it was your wish to study so you left Germany behind you to become a history and german teacher in Hawaii, your dream place. At 22 you were still young and everyone who knew you wanted that you take a break to just do something for yourself for once. And you agreed, when this exam would be over you promised them you would go out with them and forget your responsibilities for once. Forget your job, forget University and just have fun. At least for a night, what should go wrong? I mean your friends let go all the time and nothing bad happens. So why shouldnt you do it too?


Well now you know why you shouldnt do that. You drank way to much but your exam just went so well that you wanted to celebrate that. And now you were laying in bed with a stranger that was way to good looking for you and all you could think about is how could you have done that. And how could you get out of his house without him noticing. After all his arm was wrapped around you. But you tried anyway. You did not want to wake him up and be even more embarrased than you are now. You would swear that you havent even moved yet, but somehow Mr. Handsome, as you would call him now, until you would know his name, woke up in a blink. The only think you could to was to just say “Hey”.. “Morning, you are awake early. Havent thought you would be. Not after what you drank last night.” “Ehmm.. well I can never sleep long, when I had a little bit of alcohol. Its a thing since my teenage years.” “Teenage years? So underage drinking was your thing?” You were shocked. You totally forgot that America was the country of 21. You hated it when people thought bad of you, or that you did something illegal. So you were quick with your answer, maybe to quick. You fell into some kind of ramble, which was to easy with his watchfull eyes. He seemed to get every information out of you without even asking. “Nooo of course not. I just drank beer. It is legal in Germany at the age of 16. I would never go against the law. I am way to nervous for that. Once I accidentally stole a hairclip from my piercer. I felt so guilty that I came back to pay for it. They all laughed at me. And…” “Stop stop” He laughed “I believe you.” He smirked “ Before you tell me anymore about you, do you maybe want to have some breakfast? You can contiune your story there.” You did it. You embarrased yourself even more. You were pretty sure you looked like a tomato by now. If he hadnt stop you, you would have told him your lifestory, with all the unasked footnotes. But he didnt seem to be bothered by it. He was calm and not at all annoyed. So you agreed to some breakfast.

And you realised, that Mr. Handsome wasnt just to handsome, he was also a great cook. He made the best pancakes you ever had. It was really unfair. He was good looking, seemed to be smart and well educated, and he could cook. He was the all around package. With that in mind you just could not stop your mouth from moving. “What is your goddam flaw?” He seemed perplex. Like he was surprised by your question. “What do you mean?” “ Well, see ehmm?” He laughed again, even his laugh sounded to good to be true. “Steve. My name is Steve.” “ Well okay Steve. Sorry for forgetting it. But you see. You are handsome, very handsome. You seem to be smart. And you are nice and a great  cook. What is your goddamn flaw. You arent even messy. That is not normal. Everyone has a flaw. Mine is clear. I talk to much and to often and I never know when to shut up, so help me out here and interrup me, or I will never stop talking.” “That is really kind of you but we all have flaws, we just dont see them sometimes. And just for your information, I think your talking is very cute. It suits you.” You blushed. “Thank you.” After that you ate your breakfast in silence. But it was comfortable. With that you had enough time to imagine what his flaw could be. Until his phone started to ring. “McGarrett? Yes Danno I am alive and well. I decided to sleep in today.” You were sure you heard something about super seal and never sleeping in but you were to concentrated with your sirup. It just did not want to come out of the bottle. It was frustrating. “Y/N, I am sorry but I need to go to work. Can I drive you somewhere ?” “Yes that would be really nice of you. I am just going to put my clothes back on.” “Take your time. I am going to make the dishes.” Great now he is even doing the dishes. This man is perfect.


“Well here we are. That is were I live.” “Y/N,  I really liked your company. If you may, you know, ever want to hang out again… just give me a call.” “With that he gave you a card with the inscription: Hawaii5O - Special Task Force: Lt. Commander Steven J. McGarrett. Before you could say anything he was already gone. 

You did not call him for 5 days. You werent sure if it would be a good idea. But at the end you just could not resist and called. “McGarrett.” “Hey.. Steve here is Y/N” “Y/N. One moment.” You heard him moving and saying something like “Shut up Danno” “Hey Y/N I already thought you would not call.” “Well I actually thought about it. But you just stucked in my mind and I could not resist anmore.” “Well then I am happy that I am so memorable.” You laughed “You have no idea how much.” “Enough to go on a date with me?” “Definitly.” “Good I am picking you up at seven. You like steak?” “Will you be angry if I dont?” “I am going to be confused but I am ready to listen to your reasons for not liking steak while I cook something different, okay?” “Deal. See you tonight.” “See you.” 

After a few dates you finally found out what his flaw was. He was reckless. 


Hey readers :) 

My next one is finally up. Spent a wonderfull day in Netherland. The sun was shining it wasnt to hot but you had still summervibes. 

Like always it would be great if I could get a like, reblog or whatever you have in mind, to know if you liked this one. 

If you want to see pics of my day in the Netherland then follow me on Instagram and on Snapchat. Both @chrissiswworld. 

Love Chris