Season 5 Episode 19. I started to watch this show because of stupid Tumblr. Being an SPN fan, our fandom kept making comparisons. Now I am five weeks in, watching the current episodes and binge watching at the same time. My lesson plans have suffered and well some of essays haven’t gotten the best look-overs. I have fallen in love with Danno and Steve. I love all the cast.
And then this episode…
This is Commander McGarrett finding the photos that a child predator took of his victims. I found myself crying right along with him. The only show that has been able to pull that off with me is SPN. And now this.
Why didn’t all you out there warn me about this?
Hawaii 5 0 you have ruined my life.
I’ve probably said it before sometime, somewhere but I am SOOOOO ready for extreme Danno whump. Ok? I’m talking, seasons finale Danno whump that reaches for a few episodes, because Danno whump and Steve angst is the best thing I know and I need it!
Charlie calling Steve, Uncle Steven. Steve’s heart melting when he hears Charlie say it because he’s a spitting image of his father and sounds just like him. Anytime Charlie gets mad at him and says “"Uncle Steven.” Steve can’t hide the big grin on his face because he says it with the same tone and facial expression as Danny. Steve watching Charlie. Steve trying not to laugh when Charlie gets cranky because he literally sounds like a 5 year old Danny.
Their most recent case
has a bad ending. Each team member’s resulting fallout at the end of the day
and their own way of coping/not coping…
Lou leaves HQ and just drives with no particular destination
in mind. The control he has over the vehicle seems to be the only thing giving
him comfort; comfort that he needs because he feels inches away from breaking
down. It is, of course, inevitable that he eventually ends up on his own front
porch and leaving that said comfort. Lou’s not sure how long he was on the road
but it’s dark outside now and it doesn’t look like anyone is awake. Not making
his way inside he just sits on the steps and lets his head fall into his hands.
Renee is coming outside not much later and he is both grateful and ashamed to
have her see him like this. However, when she finds a place sat next to him and
he looks to face her, there is no judgment in her eyes. So he cries and she
holds him and all the while Will and Samantha watch from the window in sad
Chin goes home as soon as he can to find Sarah and Abby
waiting for him. He doesn’t say anything about the day but Abby seems to know
just by looking at him and she gives him a long hug before going to fix dinner.
Chin is mostly quiet for the entire night except to answer the innocent and
carefree questions of Sarah. He takes a long shower after they eat and he
remains there for so long the water runs cold. He doesn’t cry but his body aches,
his head hurts, and he’s almost afraid to go to sleep due to the off chance he
might see it all over again in his dreams. When he enters his bedroom he doesn’t
expect to get into his bed for that very reason, but Abby and Sarah are there.
Both of them are tucked in under his blankets in their pajamas and Sarah holds
up a book she wants help reading. He slowly gets into the bed beside them,
wrapping his arms around his niece and laying his head on Abby’s lap. The
little girl begins to read and he’s asleep before the start of the third page.
Kono stays behind at HQ for a while, although not as long as Steve
and Danny. She gives both boys a hug before she leaves and calls Adam on the
way to her car. She immediately heads to her favorite surfing spot almost on
default and she admittedly breaks various driving laws in order to get there in
record time. Once she arrives she doesn’t do anything right away, instead just
standing at the edge of the water with the waves lapping at her feet. She
breathes in the salty air for a while and closes her eyes and feels as the sun
sets. Adam meets her there a while later and wraps his arms around her with a calm
and silence she needs and appreciates. Fully clothed they eventually wade into the
water together and Kono clings to her husband as they float in the shallow
waves. Her tears fall and mix with ocean and they stay there until well after
the stars have come out.
Danny remains in his office until nightfall doing paperwork
that could easily be put off for a week. Even Steve leaves before he does. The silence
surrounding him is what eventually motivates him to pack up and leave, not being able to
stand the loneliness anymore. He drives home with the stereo in the Camaro
blasted as loud as he dares to make it without ruining either the speakers or
his ear drums. The house is quiet too though, and it makes him mad to the point
where he’s kicking the side of the couch in frustration. He contemplates calling
Rachel and begging to see Grace and Charlie, if only for just an hour. But it’s
late and he’s a mess who hasn’t slept in at least forty-eight hours and hasn’t
taken a shower in an even longer amount of time. Danny doesn’t want the kids to
see him like this, only he can’t stay home to sit with his own thoughts. With
one last kick to the helpless sofa he stuffs his keys back into his pocket and
heads out of the door.
Steve is sitting on the lanai, starting on his fourth beer.
He can’t help but feel guilty for the day’s events, the whole week’s events,
and it’s eating him up inside. Different scenarios run through his head and he
asks himself over and over again what he could have done differently but the
result is always the same. He takes another sip of his beer and leans back against
his seat. Steve had immediately tried to compartmentalize and tuck away the
pain of the case the moment he got home but his usual walls used to deflect
these kinds of things don’t seem to be working. He stays like that, trying to
push down his emotions and thoughts for another long hour before he hears the
sound of the front door opening and closing. He doesn’t bother going for his
gun, preparing for a potential attacker, because he’d recognize the gait of
that person anywhere. He listens to what sounds like Danny digging through his kitchen
before the man comes out and sits beside him. Neither of them say anything but they
share a look and Danny puts a hand on his forearm and leaves it there before
they stare up at the night sky together and it’s enough.
You were in the libary at the Hawaiin University. Studying wasnt
your favourite part to do today. But because you always wanted to
study this you needed to get your shit together and learn for this
exam next week. You had difficulty to understand certain areas. But
it was your wish to study so you left Germany behind you to become a
history and german teacher in Hawaii, your dream place. At 22 you
were still young and everyone who knew you wanted that you take a
break to just do something for yourself for once. And you agreed,
when this exam would be over you promised them you would go out with
them and forget your responsibilities for once. Forget your job,
forget University and just have fun. At least for a night, what
should go wrong? I mean your friends let go all the time and nothing
bad happens. So why shouldnt you do it too?
Well now you know why you shouldnt do that. You drank way to much
but your exam just went so well that you wanted to celebrate that.
And now you were laying in bed with a stranger that was way to good
looking for you and all you could think about is how could you have
done that. And how could you get out of his house without him
noticing. After all his arm was wrapped around you. But you tried anyway. You did not want to wake him up and be even more embarrased than you are now. You would swear that you havent even moved yet, but somehow Mr. Handsome, as you would call him now, until you would know his name, woke up in a blink. The only think you could to was to just say “Hey”.. “Morning, you are awake early. Havent thought you would be. Not after what you drank last night.” “Ehmm.. well I can never sleep long, when I had a little bit of alcohol. Its a thing since my teenage years.” “Teenage years? So underage drinking was your thing?” You were shocked. You totally forgot that America was the country of 21. You hated it when people thought bad of you, or that you did something illegal. So you were quick with your answer, maybe to quick. You fell into some kind of ramble, which was to easy with his watchfull eyes. He seemed to get every information out of you without even asking. “Nooo of course not. I just drank beer. It is legal in Germany at the age of 16. I would never go against the law. I am way to nervous for that. Once I accidentally stole a hairclip from my piercer. I felt so guilty that I came back to pay for it. They all laughed at me. And…” “Stop stop” He laughed “I believe you.” He smirked “ Before you tell me anymore about you, do you maybe want to have some breakfast? You can contiune your story there.” You did it. You embarrased yourself even more. You were pretty sure you looked like a tomato by now. If he hadnt stop you, you would have told him your lifestory, with all the unasked footnotes. But he didnt seem to be bothered by it. He was calm and not at all annoyed. So you agreed to some breakfast.
And you realised, that Mr. Handsome wasnt just to handsome, he was also a great cook. He made the best pancakes you ever had. It was really unfair. He was good looking, seemed to be smart and well educated, and he could cook. He was the all around package. With that in mind you just could not stop your mouth from moving. “What is your goddam flaw?” He seemed perplex. Like he was surprised by your question. “What do you mean?” “ Well, see ehmm?” He laughed again, even his laugh sounded to good to be true. “Steve. My name is Steve.” “ Well okay Steve. Sorry for forgetting it. But you see. You are handsome, very handsome. You seem to be smart. And you are nice and a great cook. What is your goddamn flaw. You arent even messy. That is not normal. Everyone has a flaw. Mine is clear. I talk to much and to often and I never know when to shut up, so help me out here and interrup me, or I will never stop talking.” “That is really kind of you but we all have flaws, we just dont see them sometimes. And just for your information, I think your talking is very cute. It suits you.” You blushed. “Thank you.” After that you ate your breakfast in silence. But it was comfortable. With that you had enough time to imagine what his flaw could be. Until his phone started to ring. “McGarrett? Yes Danno I am alive and well. I decided to sleep in today.” You were sure you heard something about super seal and never sleeping in but you were to concentrated with your sirup. It just did not want to come out of the bottle. It was frustrating. “Y/N, I am sorry but I need to go to work. Can I drive you somewhere ?” “Yes that would be really nice of you. I am just going to put my clothes back on.” “Take your time. I am going to make the dishes.” Great now he is even doing the dishes. This man is perfect.
“Well here we are. That is were I live.” “Y/N, I really liked your company. If you may, you know, ever want to hang out again… just give me a call.” “With that he gave you a card with the inscription: Hawaii5O - Special Task Force: Lt. Commander Steven J. McGarrett. Before you could say anything he was already gone.
You did not call him for 5 days. You werent sure if it would be a good idea. But at the end you just could not resist and called. “McGarrett.” “Hey.. Steve here is Y/N” “Y/N. One moment.” You heard him moving and saying something like “Shut up Danno” “Hey Y/N I already thought you would not call.” “Well I actually thought about it. But you just stucked in my mind and I could not resist anmore.” “Well then I am happy that I am so memorable.” You laughed “You have no idea how much.” “Enough to go on a date with me?” “Definitly.” “Good I am picking you up at seven. You like steak?” “Will you be angry if I dont?” “I am going to be confused but I am ready to listen to your reasons for not liking steak while I cook something different, okay?” “Deal. See you tonight.” “See you.”
After a few dates you finally found out what his flaw was. He was reckless.
Hey readers :)
My next one is finally up. Spent a wonderfull day in Netherland. The sun was shining it wasnt to hot but you had still summervibes.
Like always it would be great if I could get a like, reblog or whatever you have in mind, to know if you liked this one.
If you want to see pics of my day in the Netherland then follow me on Instagram and on Snapchat. Both @chrissiswworld.