steve mandy

  • Me: *watched 8 hours straight of shameless*
  • Shameless character: where the fuck were you last week? Fucking hell even I watched!
  • Me: IM SO SORRY.

Me: *watching season 1 of Shameless* I cannot believe anyone on this website sees any redeeming qualities in Mickey Milkovich

Me: *Watching Season 3 of Shameless* Holy shit Mickey Milkovich 10/10, the greatest, 100% a saint

Fighting Shameless Characters

Frank: You’d most likely have an advantage if you fought Frank, because chances are he’d be drunk. Just watch out for head butting.

• If you’re losing, go with a simple tactic and kick him in the balls.

Monica: If you want to win, make sure you’re in an empty area. Moni will grab anything in arms reach and use it against you. There’s a chance she could also manipulate you into not fighting her.

• If you’re losing, she is kinda light so you can easily use shoving or kicking as a plan B.

Fiona: Make her mad enough and she’ll pop you right in the nose. She’s not much for hair pulling, but will result in it if she’s helpless. She doesn’t take loss easily.

• If you’re losing, flail your body all around recklessly to hopefully get a good blow in.

Lip: Lip thinks too much when he fights, so there are good times when he’s off guard to slam him into a wall.

• If you’re losing, just slip your hand in his pants and you’ll be in charge from there on out.

Ian: Due to military and JROTC training, Ian could probably pull out some moves to beat you up with. If he isn’t feeling too fancy, he might just whip up a few punches, but that’ll be enough to hurt you pretty badly.

• If you’re losing, just take that fucking L. There’s no hope for you.

Carl: Also being in military school, he has skills, but it’s unlikely that he’ll use them. Most likely, you’ll be grabbed and slammed into a few things, then bruised and battered.

• If you’re losing, bite your lip or slide your tongue to seduce him. 9/10 chance this will lead to incredible sex.

Debbie: Debbie will not hesitate to do something if there’s a legitimate reason. If you happen to do something stupid, you better swing your head around like Beyoncé so she doesn’t snatch your weave, seeing that it’s her main attack.

• If you’re losing, grab Neil and run. Then, when she chases after you, just dip into an alleyway.

Liam: Why the fuck- Okay, well, if you happen to fight a fucking second grader, you’re going to win and then feel terrible.

• You won’t lose against Liam, but you will lose against all of the Gallaghers when they find out some dipshit tried to fight a fucking SECOND GRADER. Why would you fight a second grader?!

Kev: He’s kindhearted, so there’s a good chance you can talk it out and he’ll let you off. But, if you hurt V, you’re literally dead.

• If you’re losing, that means that you’re also losing your life.

Veronica: V is feisty, so unless you can match her attitude, then there’s not much hope for you. She will take off a heel and gouge your eye out with it if she has to.

• If you’re losing, you better shape the fuck up real quick because you have 2 seconds to get creative.

Mickey: He looks small and easy to fight, but one blow and you’re down. Two hits, and you’re out cold. Mickey has been fighting since he was a sperm, he knows where to hit you so it really hurts. And, if you bring a weapon, best believe that he won’t hesitate to pull one out of his ass.

• If you’re losing, tell him that something happened to Ian. He’ll either go attack whoever hurt his OrangeBoy, or tears will form in his eyes. If the second one occurs, FUCKING APOLOGIZE AND GIVE HIM A HUG, YOU MONSTER.

Mandy: Mandy is small but mean. She’ll pull you down by your hair, and hit you 1,000 times until she’s almost out of anger. Key word being almost. Then she’ll throw your helpless body into the street and hit you with her car.

• If you’re losing, DO NOT TRY TO HURT HER. You will have the Milkovich brothers on your ass, and you will not come out of that alive. Just try to run and hope you’ll get lucky?

Terry: Terry is drunk 11/10 of the time, so just shoot him. Hit him with a barstool. Smash a bottle over his head.

• If you’re losing, pull a dildo out of your pocket (I know you carry one, your secret is safe with me) and shove it up his ass. That will cause him to kill himself.

Svetlana: She’s a Russian badass. You’re so fucked.

• You’ve already lost.

Karen: She’s small and fragile and you can literally flick her and she’ll break. Best part is, you’ll feel no remorse.

• If you’re losing, you’re pathetic because this is KAREN we’re talking about. Just shove a long object in her mouth as a distraction and she’ll be busy sucking on it.

Sheila: You’re a very bad person for even considering fighting this angel.

Jimmy/Steve: Isn’t he dead, anyways?

Horoscope Shameless series characters:

Aquarius: Carl Gallagher/White chocolate
Pisces: Veronika Fisher
Aries: Debbie Gallagher
Taurus: Monica Gallagher
Gemini: Frank Gallagher
Cancer: Steve Lishman
Leo: Ian Gallagher
Virgo: Mandy Milkovich
Libra: Lip Gallagher
Scorpio: Mickey Milkovich
Sagittarius: Fiona Gallagher
Capricorn: Kevin Ball

SHAMELESS DRINKING GAME

** This is an updated version of the shameless drinking game that Jill (mm-milkovich) and I created last summer, so it includes season 4 now. ENJOY!

1 DRINK

  1. Every time you see naked boobs.
  2. Every time they mention ROTC or military.
  3. Every time Fiona is at a new job.
  4. Every time Sheila shows her agoraphobia.
  5. Frank does something shitty to the kids
  6. Every time Fiona gets laid
  7. Whenever Frank offers a round to the bar – bonus drink when he actually follows through with it.
  8. Every time Vee does medical things.
  9. Every time Fiona questions the other kids motives behind something.
  10. Every time Jimmy/Steve flashes his money.
  11. Every time the family mentions paying a bill or groceries or money of any sorts.
  12. Every time Lip – the smart kid – does or says something stupid.
  13. Every time Debbie or Carl does something nice for Frank.
  14. Jimmy/Steve and Fiona have a fight.
  15. Every time Fiona isn’t wearing a bra.
  16. What you missed last week.
  17. Every time Kev and Vee have kinky sex.
  18. Every time Linda yells at Kash.
  19. Every time it is mentioned that Frank never pays his tab at the Alibi Room
  20. Every time Frank worries about getting paid by the government (ie disability checks, fraud injuries)
  21. Whenever Ian is working at the Kash and Grab (mentioned or otherwise)
  22. Whenever Mickey denies his feelings for Ian
  23. Whenever Kevin or Vee mentioned babies or having kids.

2 DRINKS

  1. Every time Lip has a run in with the law.
  2. Every time Ian is in army wear.
  3. Every time someone gets robbed.
  4. Lip and Ian have a heart to heart.
  5. Every time they mention that Lip’s full name is Phillip/he’s called Phillip.
  6. Monica is in an episode.
  7. Every time Frank is brought home drunk.
  8. Every time Fiona breaks down and cries.
  9. Awkward slomo scene.
  10. Every time they make fun of glee.
  11. Kash and Grab sign is seen.
  12. Every time Karen is a mega bitch.
  13. Cute family moment.
  14. Every time Mandy is jealous of Karen.
  15. Frank gets kicked out.
  16. Carl drinks.
  17. Frank goes missing
  18. Every time Frank does something homosexual.
  19. Every time someone gets punched/beat up
  20. Every time Carl does something psychopathic.
  21. Mickey makes a threat.
  22. You see a naked butt.
  23. Every time Mickey doesn’t understand Russian.
  24. Every time Mickey hates on old skeezy men.
  25. Every time Sammi does something creepy with Frank.
  26. Whenever Fiona hates on the Milkoviches.
  27. Awkward moments between Mandy and Lip.
  28. Every time Debbie obsesses with her virginity.
  29. Every time Chucky is eating.
  30. Every time Liam is at College.
  31. Every time Carl bullies someone/it is mentioned that he’s a Bully.
  32. Mickey and Ian are a domesticated couple.
  33. Whenever Ian is wearing Guy-liner.

FINISH DRINK (Three drinks if you’ve already finished a drink in the episode)

  1. Someone refers to Jimmy/Steve as Jimmy/Steve.
  2. Every time Mickey gets shot.
  3. Every time Mickey gets out of jail.
  4. Every time Lip thinks sex can cure homosexuality.
  5. Every time someone is at the train station.
  6. Lip and Ian have a fight.
  7. Every time Mandy is oblivious to the fact that Ian and Mickey are fucking.
  8. Every time Debbie gets mad at Frank/beats Frank up.
  9. Every time Terri tries to kill Ian.
  10. Everyone Mickey gets angry about someone calling him gay.
  11. Ian calls Mickey “Mick”
  12. Every time Mickey initiates a kiss with Ian.