steroids abuse

House of Cards in the Wind

TITLE: House of Cards in the Wind


AUTHOR: wolfpawn

ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine you were a powerful villain who was captured by S.H.I.E.L.D. and put in Cryogenic storage because there was no other way to deal with you. After doing some research, Loki learned about you and became obsessed. So much, that he looked for you and woke you up, knowing that you’d seek revenge and he would be more than willing to help.

RATING: Teen and Up

NOTES/WARNINGS: This story is the result of an imagine I saw on another blog theartofimagining13. The credit for the imagine goes to the author on that page.

Warning death of minor characters and violence in this fic

“I’ve got bad news, and I’ve got really bad news.” Tony declared as he walked into the room.

“I am not sure what I want first, there are so many great options,” Barton replied sarcastically.

“Loki is back on Earth and there is no way to contact Thor.”

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

You do realize that it's almost impossible to find a relationship with a girl due to today's society, right? If girls didn't have ridiculously high standards, and also didn't run off with abusive steroid-overdosed jackasses like the brainless sheep they are, then people like YandereDev wouldn't even exist. There would be far more love and happiness, and less suffering and despair. So, next time, why don't you think before shoving your foot in your mouth, and your head into your ass, mmkay? Bye.

Please tell me this is a joke, anon.

Calling women brainless sheep and then wondering why they run off to “steroid abusing jackasses” is exactly why you don’t have a girlfriend.

A loveshy in his natural habitat.

-Mod Sega

Every time a wrestler retweets Banksy the part of me that longs for the days of steroid abuse, and cocaine as a payday, grows a little bigger. Terry Funk ain’t retweet no Banksy.

anonymous asked:

Request for dating Seth and being best friends since you were little (like he Imprints on you later on)

Seth Clearwater had been attached to your hip growing up, always teaming together to pull pranks on the older kids in the tribe, even plotting to cut off a chunk of Leah’s hair. Soon all of your friends had started leaving for Sams group of steroid abusing hall monitors. Seth was always there to console you and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t have feelings for him. Though there is no possible way that they could be returned, right?
Seth started hanging around less and less, his temper flaring over the smallest things, it broke you but you tried to push it aside. Then Harry died. You tried to be there for Seth but he rejected your attempts to console him. Figuring he just needed time to mourn, you backed off and the two weeks without him hurt like hell.
A casserole resting on your hip you made your way up to the Clearwater house. You’d been stopping by the past few days to help console Sue. Making your way into the house you set down the casserole, noticing Sue was gone you let out a huff.
“What are you doing in my house?” You heard a rough voice ask. Knowing it was Seth you spun on your heel.
“Seth? -” shocked of his appearance you froze. His hair was chopped short and he was bulky with a large tattoo on his upper bicep. He avoided your eyes, turning his head as if he would be sick if he made eye contact.
“Y/N, we can’t be friends anymore” he spat but his face gave a look like he was in pain.
Stepping closer you started to get furious,
“After all that I’ve done for you? Seth!” You shouted as he jerked away from you,
“please,” you started with an exasperated sigh “I get if you don’t want to be my friend but just look me in the eyes and tell me” you finished, shrinking back as tears pricked your eyes. Seth slowly turned his head and he opened his mouth as if he was to say something, then it hit. Your heart felt whole, like every goal in your life had been met, you felt safe and protected as the rest of the world seemed to melt away. Seth reached out to you and pulled you into his arms. Snuggling into his chest the previous conversation slipped away as you two stood, both knowing all would be well.
“I’m sorry” he mumbled into your hair and at that moment you were content.
so this is the first ever imagine I’ve ever written so I apologize that it’s not that good but I tried! I’m sorry if it’s not the length of way you wanted it but I appreciate the request and have a good day!

Master List Resources For Eczema/Skin Conditions & Healing Methods

Topical Steroid Addiction & Withdrawal Information (Aka Why Steroids Should Be Stopped ASAP)

  1. Main blog with links to other Topical Steroid Withdrawal Sufferers blogs;
  2. National Eczema Association forms Scientific Advisory Committee Task Force to Study Topical Steroid Addiction Article 
  3. Topical Steroid Addiction and Withdrawal Question and Answers from International Topical Steroid Awareness Network
  4. The Mechanics of Topical Steroid Addiction & Withdrawals, How to Speed Up Healing: Questions & Answers
  5. Questions and Answers with Dr Marvin Rapport about Topical Steroid Addiction
  6. Healed Red Skin Syndrome/ Topical Steroid Addiction Sufferers Gallery
  7. Doctor Albert Kligman and Doctor Peter Frosch medical journal on “Steroid Addiction”
  8. Dr Marvin Rapport’s medical paper “Corticosteroid Addiction and Withdrawal in the Atopic: The Red Burning Skin Syndrome” 
  9. Doctor Moto Fukaya’s Blog on Topical Steroid Addiction and his book Atopy Steroid Addiction 
  10. International Topical Steroid Awareness Network (ITSAN) Voted into Coalition for Skin Diseases (CSD) in Denver, Colorado Meeting
  11. Dr. Needles Medical Blog: KILLER CORTISONE STEROIDS, TURNS 60
  12. Dermatologists Launch Initiative to Create Awareness about Topical Steroid Abuse
  13. Beware of Skin Ointments with Steroids, Times of India Article
  14. Dr Chris on how Wheatgrass Spray can help Topical Steroid Addiction & Withdrawal Sufferers
  15. Conventional Medical Treatments Of Eczema And Their Untold Side Effects
  16. Steroids Devastating Side Effects - Prevent and Reverse Inflammation Naturally
  17. The Medical-Pharmaceutical Industrial Complex Corruption in Drug Research and in Medicine
  18. Dr. Tsai: How to Deal with rebound conditions after discontinuing the use of steroids
  19. Why Suppressing the Immune System With Steroids is Wrong, & How It Make Things Worse.

Forums & Sites:

  • No More Steroids 
  • Eczemag
  • International Topical Steroid Awareness Network

Topical Steroid Addiction Stories

  1. Miss Kitty: Why I Quit Topical Steroids Even Though I Knew It Would Be Awful
  2. Three Wonderful Mothers Share Their Story on Topical Steroid Addiction
  3. One Mom’s Eczema Journey: To Hell and Back (Guest Post)
  4. Members of Media
  5. Lawsuit For Unlabeled Topical Steroids that led to Steroid Addiction
  6. Child Warrior Overcomes Steroid Induced eczema
  7. National Eczema Association Task Force on Topical Steroid Addiction
  8. Isaiah in the new for Topical Steroid Addiction
  9. UK Woman Fully Healed From Topical Steroid Dependance After Realising it was causing her Worsening Eczema
  10. Healed Patient Rochelle Credits The International Topical Steroid Awareness Network for Helping Cure Her Steroid Induced Eczema
  11. Corticosteroids Index 
  12. Eczema Sufferer Celebrates her First Itch Free Birthday Thanks to The Topical Steroid Awareness Network
  13. Topial Steroid Addicted Sufferer Jack, Age Thirteen Once Hospitalised for “Incurable Eczema” Finds Cure 
  14. Rachel, Addicted to Oral Steroids to Burn Unit to Healed Sweet Sixteen
  15. The International Topical Steroid Awareness Network’s Healed Patient Karen Holland
  16. Skin On Fire: Topical Steroid Addiction on Fox News
  17. Top Five Signs of Topical Steroid Addiction 
  18. Eczema Non-Profit Organisation Shines Light on Topical Steroid Addiction

Eczema as an Auto Immune Disease & How To Heal It

  1. Overcoming Medical Dogma - Eczema
  2. Scientists Officially Link Processed Foods To Autoimmune Disease
  3. Why You Need To Ditch The Wheat If You Have Auto Immune Disease by Dr William Davis
  4. 4 Steps & Top 5 foods to Heal Leaky Gut and Autoimmune Disease by Dr Josh Axe
  5. How to Stop Attacking Yourself: 9 Steps to Heal Autoimmune Disease by Mark Hyman MD
  6. Is there a Cure for Autoimmune Disease? by Mark Hyman, MD
  7. 10 Signs You Have an Autoimmune Disease and How to Reverse It by Dr Amy Myers
  8. How Conventional Medicine Got Autoimmune Diseases All Wrong by Dr Amy Myers
  9. Why Diseases Don’t Exist and What Really Makes You Sick! by Dr Mark Hyman
  10. Eight Causes of Autoimmune Diseases and the Alternative Approach to Cure Them by Dr. Jake Schmutz 
  11. Mark Hyman MD “How Food Intolerances Are Making You Fat”
  12. Is Your Digestive System Making You Sick, and Fat? by Mark Hyman, MD
  13. The One Diet That Can Cure Most Disease: Part I 
  14. The One Diet That Can Cure Most Disease Part II by Dr Mark Hyman
  15. The Healing Foods Diet by Dr Josh Axe
  16. Which Diet Is Right You In order to Avoid Disease & Maximise Health Dr Amy Myers
  17. 8 Foods You Think Are Healthy but Aren’t (Especially for Autoimmune disease) Dr Amy Myers

Healed Eczema With Diet Stories

  1. The Eczema Cure
  2. My 10-Year Eczema Suffering Story (I ACTUALLY Cured It)
  3. How I Overcame Severe Eczema When Doctors Said There Was No Cure
  4. How the Elimination Diet Naturally Cured My Severe Eczema
  5. My Journey To Health: From Low-Carb To Paleo To The Autoimmune Protocol
  6. 10 Years of Eczema: What I’ve Learned (Guest Post)
  7. Eczema Remedies - My Story
  8. The REAL Truth About Eczema & The place to find the REAL truth about eczema and how to finally get rid of it forever like I did
  9. ECZEMA - My Journey To Health
  10. Heal From the Inside Out with Real Food: Emily Barlett
  11. Raw Paleo Diet Cure All Testimonial by Edwin Casimero in Manila, Philippines
  12. Healing the Skin from Within - Paleo, Gut Health, and Eczema
  13. How I Healed my Eczema, Psoriasis, Acne, & Allergies Naturally
  14. My Triumph Over Eczema: Healing Atopic Dermatitis Without Medication
  15. How an Elimination Diet Cured my Daughter’s Eczema and Gastrointestinal Tract {GUEST POST}
  16. Healing Disease via Diet: Eczema, Ulcerative Colitis, Gall Bladder Issues, Leaky Gut, Food Intolerances
  17. My Battle with Eczema, Perioral Dermatitis, and Corticosteroid Cream
  19. How I Healed My Son’s Eczema…In One Week
  20. 7 Natural Remedies for Eczema
  21. My Boy Now 12 is Eczema Cured – is on Paleo Diet – found to have an Authentic Rice Allergy
  23. Healing Eczema-The Story of a Mother’s Journey Through Her Son’s Recovery
  24. NEVER EVER GIVE UP! One Mom’s Struggle to Help Her Son (Guest Post)
  25. Healing from Autism, Hypoglycemia, Eczema, and More — Come Find Out How
  26. Eczema from a Holistic Nutritionist’s Perspective (Guest Post) | It’s an Itchy Little World
  27. My Cure for Eczema was cutting out the Deadly Nightshade
  28. Our Family’s Battle with Eczema (Part 2 of 2)
  29. Eczema….Gone! | It’s an Itchy Little World
  31. Eczema and Diet - How a Change in Diet Cured My Eczema
  32. how our daughter’s eczema was healed naturally
  33. How The GAPS Diet Healed My Son’s Eczema
  34. I Listen to My Intuition and I Don’t Give up on My Child: I am My Son’s Health Advocate (Guest Post)
  35. Michele Ang Cures herself of Eczema which manifested on her arm and leg
  36. Eliminating Life Long Eczema by Cutting Out Milk
  37. By Miranda Barzey
  38. Inspiring Talk from the Eczema Cured: “Haai” from Raw Paleo Diet Forum
  39. Our Eczema Trials – Cortisone
  40. Clearing up Eczema Naturally
  41. How I’m Healing My Daughter’s Eczema Naturally
  42. How to Heal Childhood Eczema Naturally
  44. What We Did To Help Our Son’s Eczema – Without Drugs
  45. bans me for sharing my eczema cure story!
  46. Eczema controlled or cured forever?

Natural Eczema Healing Testimonies:

  • Adriana Hubble - My son´s eczema is completely healed!
  • Aliya Khan - My psoriasis/eczema is gone!
  • Anika Thapliyal - My daughter is eczema free!
  • Anna Mihejeva - Doctors told me I had to live with it. Not anymore!
  • Chinatsu Kasahara - Atopic eczema
  • D. Cederbaum - Eczema and a host of other ailments disappeared!
  • Dawn Timmons - Baby boils are gone!
  • Dawn Timmons - Our son is now living a normal, happy life!
  • Donna Eng - Stressful job but no more eczema!
  • Dr. Betty Thalody - My child no longer has eczema
  • Erin Greatrix - My first eczema free Christmas!
  • Faisal Changez - My recovery was miraculous!
  • Greg McPhee - I liked the idea of healing myself from the inside out!
  • Ivan Yeung - I can now exercise and sweat without extreme itching!
  • Jeanine - My returning eczema is gone!
  • Jennifer Hall - Stay strong eczema warriors!
  • Jeremy Barnett - The miracle of natural healing!
  • Karen Kieffer - Your program is the only thing that worked for me!
  • Kathy Greig - My husband´s skin is the best it has been in 3 years!
  • Kristin Shellenberger - eczema dramatically improved
  • Lindy Vaughn - I can now wear shorts and dresses!
  • Lisa Gromada - Atopic eczema
  • Marina McCathie - I´m blown away by how much my skin has improved!
  • Marley Morgan - I feel great these days!
  • Neamah Smith - My eczema is gone!
  • Neda Abbas - Summer is here and for the first time in 7 years, I´m looking forward to it!
  • PS - I´m on my way to total healing!
  • Rich Hosking - My rosacea is gone!
  • Sam Chinn - Baby eczema
  • Shannon Rubicam - I feel wonderful!
  • Sharonne Lanier Isaac - We weathered the detox storm!
  • Sue Louie - Skin discoloration has vanished!
  • The Anderson Family - Bethany -child eczema
  • Uzma Naqvi - My daughter is eczema free!
  • Vina Sanchez - My prayers were answered!
  • Yolanda Eckerty - My daughter is going to second grade with healthy skin!

Paleo & Paleo Auto Immune Protocol Healing Diet Complete Reference List



  • Paleo Diet FAQ: Answers to 267 Paleo Questions
  • Paleo Websites and Blogs

Paleo Auto Immune Protocol 

  • About Sarah Ballantyne; Medical Researcher, creator of The Auto Immune Protocol Diet,  Suffered From Eczema/Psoriasis & Healed, Author Of Paleo Approach: Reverse Autoimmune Disease & Heal Your Body
  • Sarah Ballantyne: My Journey to Health: From Low-Carb to Paleo to the Autoimmune Protocol
  1. Modifying Paleo to Treat Eczema & Psoriasis by Sarah Ballantyne
  2. Comparison of 3 Healing Diets

  3. My Favorite Autoimmune Paleo Resources
  4. THE BEST DIET FOR AUTOIMMUNE DISEASE by Micky Trescott, Nutritional Therapy Practioner, Chef & Author of The Auto Immune Cookbook
  5. Introducing the Paleo Autoimmune Bloggers
  6. Autoimmune Paleo: How to get started
  7. The First Clinical Trial Using a Paleo Diet for Autoimmune Disease

 Autoimmune Paleo Resources

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  • AIP: An Elimination Diet for Autoimmune Disease
  • AIP Grocery List (also appropriate for GAPS)
  • A Starting Point for AIP
  • Autoimmune Paleo Print Out Guides of Foods To Avoid & Include
  • Breakfast Inspiration for the AIP
  • Do I Have To Do The Full AIP?
  • Gluten Free Cross Reactivity (how your body still may think you’re eating gluten, even though you’re gluten free)
  • Grocery Shopping for the AIP
  • How Do I know If I Have An Autoimmune Disease?
  • How Long Is AIP Going To Take?!
  • Reintroducing Foods on the AIP
  • Spices on the Autoimmune Protocol
  • The Nightshade Free Survival Guide
  • The Top 5 Mistakes People Make On AIP
  • The Whys Behind The Autoimmune Protocol: Eggs
  • The Whys Behind The Autoimmune Protocol: Nightshades
  • The Whys Behind The Autoimmune Protocol: Nuts & Seeds
  • Whole30 Shopping Lists for Autoimmune Paleo, Low FODMAPs and Low Histamine


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  • It Starts With Food: This New York Times Bestselling book is the template for a 30 day program called the Whole30. You can read more about what exactly a Whole30 is here. Chapter 21 of It Starts with Food specifically covers how to complete a successful Whole30 while also following the Autoimmune Protocol.
  • The Paleo Approach: This is the best compilation of information on Autoimmune Paleo out there! It covers everything from the science behind autoimmune diseases, to the logic behind the Autoimmune Protocol and then how to implement it within your own life and trouble shoot any problems as they arise. Take a peek at my review of The Paleo Approach here. Later this year, the companion The Paleo Approach Cookbook will be released, too!
  • The Autoimmune Paleo Cookbook: This is the first Autoimmune Paleo cookbook ever to be printed! Not only is it packed full of recipes, but it’s also got extra resources like meal plans and shopping lists. You can also check out the earlier ebook version here

Auto Immune Protocol Websites:

  1. A Clean Plate: Christina’s site is a treasure trove of delicious recipes that prove that a restricted or adapted diet doesn’t have to mean being deprived of food that is both pleasurable and nutritious!
  2. Alternative Autoimmune: This site is run by a health coach, which means it has all kinds of juicy information on Autoimmune Paleo and living with Autoimmune challenges, in addition to some tasty recipes. I especially like Angie’s adaptations of traditional holiday menus like Christmas and Thanksgiving.
  3.  Autoimmune Paleo: Mickey is the author of the very first Autoimmune Paleo Cookbook, not to mention a personal chef! She uses AIP to manage two different Autoimmune diseases – Hashimoto’s and Celiac. Her website is packed full of easy recipes that embrace the variety you can find within the Autoimmune protocol rather than the restrictions. You can take a peek at The Autoimmune Paleo Cookbook in hardcover here or take a look at the original ebook version here.
  4. AIP Lifestyle: Jessica is a Clinical Nutritionist and her site is GORGEOUS. Most importantly for me – since I’m somewhat food obsessed – is that her recipes are a) awesome and b) beautiful. If you thought you couldn’t have BBQ Chicken or an AIP Gravy, Jessica will show you how you CAN, while still being AIP compliant.
  5. Chowstalker: This Paleo recipe sharing site has its own Autoimmune Paleo category – it’s a great place to go to get inspired about what you CAN eat!
  6. Gutsy By Nature: Not everything here is AIP, but all the recipes are clearly marked when they are suitable. Jaime is using Paleo to heal her Crohn’s disease and you can read more about her here.
  7.  My Big Fat Grain Free Life: If a self confessed “gluten loving Italian” can go grain free without throwing in the towel and yelling “Fugettaboutit!”, then there’s hope for the rest of us! Jen has great approachable recipes and shares her AIP journey honestly & openly.
  8. Phoenix Helix: Eileen is quite the AIP Authority! She writes about all aspects of living while following the Autoimmune Protocol and she’s also the Autoimmune Ambassador over on Chowstalker! She hosts the weekly AIP Recipe Roundtable at her site, so you should definitely check that out for inspiration.
  9. The Paleo Mom: Sarah has only ended up at the bottom of this list because it’s in alphabetical order! She’s a powerhouse of knowledge about Autoimmune Paleo and makes the science behind it accessible and understandable: that’s no mean feat! She’s also the author of the definitive guide to Autoimmune Paleo – her newly released book The Paleo Approach.

Paleo Success Stories

  • Success Stories of  The Paleo Auto Immune Protocol on Paleo Mom
  • Success Stories of Paleo Auto Immune Protocol on Phoenix Helix
  • Success Stories on Mark’s Daily Apple
  • Sucess Stories on Robb Woff
  • Success Stories on Paleo Non Paleo

Cause of Eczema, Food Sensitivities, Role of Nutrition & The Importance of Gut Health for Eczema

  1. Causes of Eczema
  2. Causes of Eczema
  4. Eczema and Inflammation: The Cause and The Cure
  5. 5 Natural Ways to Treat Eczema
  6. Radiant, Healthy Skin Is a Reflection of Optimum Internal Health 
  7. Skin Health, Eczema, and Preventative Strategies
    by Chris D. Meletis, ND, Dean of Naturopathic Medicine/Chief Medical Officer NCNM and
    Jason Barker, ND
  8. Free eBook: 13 Eczema Questions You’ve Always Want Answered Truthfully
  9. Causes of Eczema
  10. Guest Post by Dr. Kellie Ferguson: Food Sensitivity Testing – Let’s Talk About Your Options!
  11. Eczema Diet
  12. The Truth About Dieting For Eczema
  13. 11 Diets Claim To Heal Eczema, But Do They Work? (And What’s Best?)
  14. Diet and Eczema: Part 1 – The Link Between Gluten and Eczema
  15. Diet & Eczema: Part 2 {Updated} - How to Use Anti-Inflammatory Foods to Cure Eczema Naturally | Prime Physique Nutrition
  16. Why Healing Your Gut Will Improve Your Eczema
  17. 7 Steps to Cure Eczema
  18. GAPS Diet For Healing: This Food Contains 100 TIMES More Probiotics than a Supplement
  19. Today’s Diets: Delicious But Ridiculous

  20. Eczema Treatment - Supplements

  21. Curing Eczema! Dr Rodney Ford

  22. Probiotics And Eczema: How The Bacteria Living In Your Gut Can Help Improve Your Eczema

  23. Eczema is not a Disease, Eczema is a Symptom of something much worse

  24. Eczema & The Immune System: Balance Your Immune System To Improve Or Eradicate Your Eczema

  25. Suppressing the immune system is wrong, don’t make things worse.

  26. Eczema Cure – Natural Cure For Eczema

  27. Updates In Eczema Research & Treatments: Learn The Latest Developments Of This Common Yet Debilitating Skin Condition

  28. The Eczema Diet: Nutrition To Improve Your Skin Health

  29. Eczema And Nutrition: The Nutrients Your Body Is Lacking Could Be Contributing To Your Eczema

  30. 5 reasons why your eczema isn’t healing

  31. Eating For Eczema: Super Foods & Recipes

  32. Healing Eczema from Within

  33. What Facial Eczema Says About Your Health

  34. My Dream: Western Medicine Grows up and Cures Psoriasis and Cures Eczema Routinely

  35. Healing Your Gut Series: What Is Leaky Gut Syndrome And How It May Apply To You! (Guest Post)

  36. Healing Your Gut Series: Healing Your Eczema Inside Out! Where to Begin. (Guest post)

  37. Announcing a Breakthrough in Eczema Treatment: Chicago Integrative Eczema Center

  38. Eczema and Psoriasis Cure Protocol

  39. Eczema Cure Is Both Scientific and Picture Anecdotal

  40. Not All Fruits and Veggies Are Eczema-Friendly (The 4 Types)

  41. Eczema & Candida: Yeast Could Be Causing Your Skin Eruptions

  42. Eczema & Asthma – Testing for Food Triggers (Guest Post)

  43. Food Intolerance vs. Food Allergy

  44. Are Some Foods Doing You More Harm Than Good?

  45. The Incredible Healing Powers of Organically Grown Raw (Living) Foods and Juices


Recommended Natural Creams & Ointments 

  1. Dr Wheatgrass Products
  2. Blue Ice Fermented Cod Liver Oil Beauty Balm
  3. Neal Yard’s Rejuvenating Frankincense Collection
  4. Neal Yard’s Wild Rose Collection
  5. Young Living Essential Oils Beauty Collection;
  6. Young Living Rose Ointment & Animal Scents Ointment
  7. Primal Life Organics Paleo Natural Skincare Made Fresh
  8. Aurelia Probiotic Skin Care
  9. Vintage Tradition


  1. iHerb (Where To Buy)
  2. Radiant Life Company (Where To Buy)
  3. Bio Kult Probiotics
  4. Prescript Assist Probiotic
  5. Blue Ice Royal’s Fermented Cod Liver Oil & Butter Oil Blend
  6. Radiant Life Company 
  7. L-Glutamine
  8. Omega 3
  9. Vitamin D
  10. Digestive Enzymes
  11. Glutathione

Other Natural Products For Skin & Health:

  1. Minera Dea Sea Salts
  2. Alitura Naturals Healing Mask
  3. Tropical Traditions
  4. Radiant Life Company
  5. Taoist Soap For Scalp & Skin
  6. Ancient Minerals Magnesium
  7. Himalayan Salt Lamps: Ambient Air Purifiers
  8. Moso Natural Air Purifying Bag
  9. Braggs Apple Cider Vinegar
  10. Allergend Allergen Bedding
  11. Dermaveen Oats Bath & Shower Oil
  12. Seaweed Detox Soap
  13. Michael Todd Blue Green Algae Healing Toner
  14. George’s 100% Distilled Aloe Vera
  15. Clay Baths - Environmental Detox
  16. Avene Thermal Spring Water

Eczema Living & The Environment

  1. Why Western Doctors Are Useless For Eczema (Solution Included)

  2. 5 Natural Ways to Treat Eczema

  3. 7 Natural Remedies for Eczema

  4. Guest Post by Dr. Kellie Ferguson: Naturopathic Medicine for Autoimmune Disease
  5. Guest Post by Dr. Kellie Ferguson: Food Sensitivity Testing – Let’s Talk About Your Options!
  6. Moisturiser Withdrawal + Detox & Healing Baths For Flare Ups & Itching
  7. How to Heal Flares Naturally Part 1
  8. Studies Find Doctor-Prescribed Treatments Make Eczema Worse
  9. Food sensitivity elimination diet: find your food intolerance triggers 
  10. The First Step in Fixing Eczema: Where to Begin?

  11. How to Reject Steroids & Ask For the Tests of the Underlying Cause of Eczema
  12. The Hardest Part of Eczema Recovery (I Failed Many Times) - Cure Eczema Slowly

  13. Set your goals higher than just being eczema or psoriasis cured

  14. How to Detox Your Body and Home and Why It Helps Heal Eczema
  15. Eczema And The Environment: How To Minimize Your Exposure And Reduce Your Risk

  16. What’s on my Shopping List? Products To Detox In a Toxic World
  17. The Link Between Contact Dermatitis and Cosmetics
  18. How to choose the best probiotic to help heal your eczema

  19. 5 Easy Daily Detox Routines
  20. The Herbalist’s Guide To Eczema

  21. 5 Minutes to Heal Eczema with Essential Oils
  22. Why Essential Oils Heal and Drugs Don’t
  23. Natural Eczema Treatment: An Ayurvedic Approach

  24. How To Get Rid Of Eczema Scars Naturally: Low Cost, Minimally Invasive Options

  25. Clean At A Cost: Household Cleaning Products And Detergents May Be Causing Your Eczema

Books for Healing Eczema & Healing Diet

  1. The Eczema Cure by Emily Bartlett
  2. The Paleo Approach, Reverse Autoimmune Disease & Heal Your Body by Sarah Ballantyne
  3. Skintervention by Liz Wolfe
  4. The Autoimmune Paleo Cook Book by Micky Trescott
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Healing Crisis During Healing Diet

  1. Eczema Healing Naturally Through Detoxification

  2. Is There Toxic Waste In Your Body?

  3. Healing Crisis Explained: Detox and Retracing

  4. What is a Healing Crisis?

  5. Understanding the Healing Crisis by Ginger Chalford, Ph.D

  6. Are you experiencing a healing crisis?

Food & Healing Videos

  1. Food Heals- Documentary Trailer
  2. Food Matters Official Trailer
  3. Inflammatory disease - the main cause and best cure
  4. How To Heal Your Gut Naturally

Do you ever think about Young Jack Zimmermann, immediately after his overdose? Waking up in the hospital, on suicide watch/mandatory psych hold. Desperately trying to explain to his doctors that he didn’t purposely try to kill himself, he just needed to make things calm down and STOP for a second because everything was running out of control. Going to rehab, not only because of his dependency on his medication, but because it is the only place he would be able to get the kind of intensive therapy he needed to be able to help himself deal with his anxiety disorder WITHOUT his pills. Because he didn’t go to rehab long-term in order to detox. He went to learn how to manage his disease in a healthier, functional way.

Like, how did he even get the scrip anyway? Was he living with a billet family at the time, and told a doctor he was having issues with anxiety? And was just given the prescription with no real guidance other than “as needed, X refills before Y”, or was he told to follow up with a psychiatrist and he just DIDN’T? He, at the very least, wasn’t closely monitored by a professional regarding his dosage if he had to keep taking more and more and more to make things better instead of trying a different medication combined with cognitive behavioral therapy. Did Bad Bob and Alicia only find out the extent of their son’s problem when they arrived at the hospital? I feel like had he been living with them at the time, they’d have been in the loop and would have moved heaven and earth to get him the help he needed before he got to the point he did.

Also, imagine Bad Bob and Alicia just tearing into the adults who were supposed to be supervising their child. Bob, using his name and influence to institute oversight and regulations regarding billet families, so other parents aren’t left in the dark. Adults having to go through training and be certified before acting as de facto guardians of these rising teenage athletes. In the years following, seeing a decrease in steroid abuse and underage partying and even things like orthorexia and athletic eating disorders because the adults know what to look for and how to get help for the kids in their care.

Bad Bob, making the junior professional sports world safer for kids in a way that he couldn’t for his own son.

A family can be two lesbians, a brawler, a falconer with a drinking problem, two dorky women with terrifying reality bending powers, a steroid abusing gun nut freedom fighter, a meme loving soldier boy, a mom, a number, a teenage girl genius with a terrifying robot friend, two perpetually shirtless yelling men, a bomb maker, two mechanics, a surgeon without a medical license, a gun merchant, a biologist, and a pirate.

A Somewhat Decent Rick And Morty Episode Guide!

So, I decided to put this thing together because… Rick and Morty is, for the most part, a really good show, and I feel like it has the potential to reach an even bigger audience than it already has, BUT since it’s an adult cartoon some people might feel some apprehension about it, which imo is understandable considering some of the genre’s other popular hits.

With that said, I present the Rick And Morty episode guide! Which includes which episodes are a must-watch to follow the major arc/relationship developments, basic synopses and warnings for sensitive material where it’s necessary, because honestly, there are people out there who like to know what they’re getting into. I just wanted to put this together for anyone who might need it, so if anyone thinks this is too, I don’t know, compassionate or helpful, you can just keep your mouth shut tbh because I don’t want to hear it.

It’s worth mentioning that every episode has funny and important scenes/moments that add to the characters, relationships and the general vibe of the show, but for those who prefer plot-relevant episodes I decided to list the must-watch episodes for both seasons as well! It’s also worth saying that almost all of the really sensitive topics I mention in this post with a simple tag aren’t just spoken about or dealt with in passing, but treated seriously.

Some very basic plotline descriptions under the cut, but nothing too spoiler-y!

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So I just watched "I'm Not Ashamed"

Sorry if you’re extremely hypersensitive over spoilers but I’m going to lay this shit down on you anyway.

Firstly, Rachel’s story, for the most part, was told moderately accurate. They had her outfits to a tee and even had her real car which was pretty lit (it was still intact after all these years and was shown in an overly cheesy, sentimental scene at the end of the film). They had her faith down (obvs as it was the whole point of this film even being made) as well as her portrayal of character. However, as a result of this “holy af” reputation, they COMPLETELY stripped Rachel of her typical teenage antics by showcasing her as NOT being a smoker at a point in her life (hinting as if she was anti-smoking) and by also being anti-liquor. They also got the whole prom scene wrong as they made her attend it with an Asian guy and not Nick Baumgart. Furthermore, in this scene, they made Dylan look at her bitter sweetly as he was dancing with Robyn, giving a sense of him “wishing it was her” rather than Robyn, who they also made to appear as disinterested and not wanting to be there with him (which was totally false as we all know- Robyn was the one that urged HIM to go).

Secondly, there were a shitload of inaccuracies with Eric and Dylan (shock). Eric was a steroid abusing, middle-aged, hairy motherfucker in high school apparently who recited all the lines from his journal as he walked through the halls. Eric and Dylan apparently also wore their natural selection/wrath shirts to school every day without fail (probably for symbolism though). However, they weren’t in it as much as I would’ve liked tbh haha, like they legit only had a few lines. Anyways, at the beginning of the film (ish) Eric, Dylan and “Sean” (who really was Brooks Brown) walk through the halls and bag out a disabled kid called “Austin” who Rachel was VERY fond of. Then, a wild herd of jocks decide to rain on their parade as they reach for a bottle of baby oil, grab Eric Harris randomly and throw him through the halls whilst cackling loudly saying “now that’s what I call dork bowling he he he” or some shit. Then, Eric gets up and says “ I’ll kill you!” And the main jock is like “oooOooOooooO so scared” which leaves Dylan to mutter to “Sean” (Brooks) I’m going to make them pay (he has his boy’s back) with “Sean” (Brooks) replying with “ well that’s Columbine”. Then, Eric and Rachel have an interaction as she’s looking at him with pity to which Eric proceeds to shout at her “WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT???!!!!?!!!l” to further exemplify his built up, all consuming, homicide inducing RAGE. Also, at the end of the film they try to attempt to “redeem” the jocks of their unscrupulous behaviour by having the jocks accept the disabled kid “Austin”.

To go on further about Eric and Dylan’s inconsistencies (because that’s why you’re on a Columbine blog ma dudes), they pretty much just make Eric this Hitler fanboying Neo-Nazi as he pays attention to Hitler’s ideologies in class and later on in another scene he’s depicted reading a book -wait for it- covered in swastikas. Also, there’s a cafeteria scene which most of y'all have probably already seen. Dylan is apparently obsessed with Rachel: he can’t take his eyes off the glorious, Christian temptress and they share a moment amidst Eric spewing his journal shit whilst wearing his natural selection shirt yet again. This scene also just pretty much makes Eric to be the “ring leader” and Dylan the “follower” who just fuels Eric’s ego by agreeing with him.

Furthermore, the film also aims to depict the deterioration of Eric and “Sean’s” (Brooks) relationship, mainly by picking up a recounted argument that Brooks wrote about in “No Easy Answers” (they also plugged his book at the end of the film I swear but maybe it was just coincidence. Rachel says it while talking to “David” (Richard Castaldo) in conjunction to how there’s no easy way to say that a divorce between parents doesn’t get better). “Sean” (Brooks) was oversleeping and Eric calls him FUMING, demanding him to hurry up and take him to school. They get in a fight and to sum it up, Eric says to “Sean” (Brooks) “I’LL KILL YOU” (edgy) and then hangs up the phone (fuck the natural selection shirt, Reb should just be seen wearing Regina George’s “a little bit dramatic” one).

Another inconsistency with Eric and Dylan (surprise) is where they’re playing video games in Eric’s basement. Dylan pretty much is depicted as kissing Eric’s ass as he says “oh man!!!! Imagine if this were Columbine???!!!” And Eric says really REALLY seriously “why shouldn’t it be?” To this Dylan replies, “oh no way man that’s sick.” This just further propagates that Eric came up with the idea and shared it with Dylan (totally false) and further reinforces that Eric is the “leader”.

The next big inconsistency was Rachel’s speech on causing a chain reaction with kindness. First off, Eric and Dylan weren’t even in that class and secondly, they never even heard that recital but they were depicted to have. Rachel goes on and on about how much of a Christian she is and the camera pans showing Eric and Dylan looking affected. Then, the teacher proceeds to play the iconic “Hitmen for Hire” short film (which tbh had better editing skills than Eric and Dyl’s original one did but it was the 90s when they did it so we can cut them some slack). As she introduces it, the bitch is like, “and NEXT we have Eric and Dylan’s PIECE on how they would change the WORLD”. She legit only goes through it for like a second and Rachel is all squeamish like “oh do we really have to watch this?” To which the teacher states “no we DO NOT HNNNNGGGGH”. Then Dylan pretty much shouts with his “boisterous” personality “and that right there is the BESTTTT WAY TO CHANGE THE WORLD HAHAHAHA PEW PEW PEW” *makes gun motions with fingers*.

Now the funniest thing ever is the scene that follows the “pew pew pew” one and its this fictitious, add-on scene. Pretty much, Eric and Dyl are having this super secret meet up (ooooOoooO perfect for those chicks that ship them. The directors really provided for ALL of their target audiences) on this stairwell. Then, Rachel proceeds to walk up this stairwell and encounters them. Eric gets all mad and gangs up on her “so what’s with this Jesus crap?” to which Dylan intervenes, “yeah think you’re better than us???¿¿?” And Rachel’s all like, “no I don’t think I’m better than anybody. I have to get to class.” Then Eric full on staunches and shouts out “yeah compassion????!!! That’ll work!!!” (Major foreshadowing here kids).

Lastly, we have the scene you’ve all been waiting for: The Massacre Sce- oh wait it’s just total and unequivocal blackness after Rachel gets shot. Realllllly riveting and reallllllly climactic. It literally made me go all Reb after watching it because that’s what I was waiting for! That’s what it was building up to!!!! But it totally and utterly disappointed. In this scene, we have the infamous propaganda painted all over it that has been circling the Columbine archives for far too long now and that is the most overused, shouldn’t-be-recognised-as-fact quote… The question that was “supposedly” always stated by the boys: “DO YOU BELIEVE IN GOD????” I didn’t think they would have it in those specific words (tried to have hope) because of what was depicted in the trailer but they fucking were. The scene starts off with Rachel and “David” (Richard Castaldo) talking about “David’s” parents getting a divorce. He confides in Rachel because she’s gone through it but she has “no easy answers”. Then, “David” sees Eric and Dylan approaching and says, “woah what is this, like a prank?” to which he is replied with by gunshots. Rachel is slain and is gasping in pain and Eric states mockingly, “where’s your God now?” At this point, he grabs her by the hair and says “ do you believe in God, Rachel?” She then says simply “yes” and at this stage of their supposed interaction, Eric puts his gun to her temple and says maliciously, “well, go be with your God now.” After this, the screen goes blank and shows real footage of the massacre’s events and this is then followed by a dramatisation of the flowers being put on her car by friends, family (grieving Craig Scott) and foe alike and also a simulated funeral.

Well, this was longer than I thought it would be but I surely fucking hope it gave someone an insight of what the movie is like without spending a dime; someone who didn’t want to see the film for obvious, understandable reasons. I love you fellow Columbine-infatuated kids. Stay murderous 😉😘❤️

anonymous asked:

Mermaid!Percy <_<

  • Sally meets Poseidon during a summer at the beach. Thinks he’s a normal human guy who likes the ocean a little bit more than he should, but w/e, he’s got a great face and whoa, those abs. They have a several month-long affair and Sally eventually figures out the whole King of the Merpeople thing out. Poseidon follows Sally back to Manhattan after the summer is over, though he leaves in the winter because of the ~call of the ocean~, just a few weeks before Sally finds out she’s pregnant with Percy. 
  • Percy is half-mer, half-human and born with webbed toes. When he’s exposed to large amounts of salt water, his legs transform into a tail (iridescent blue scales, natch) and gills appear on the side of his neck. He and Sally frequently visit Montauk so Percy can learn how to swim with his tail. 
  • Percy has few friends growing up, partly because Sally’s concerned someone will find out about the whole fish-tail thing and because, part merman or not, he’s Percy Jackson and he still manages to get himself in trouble all of the time. He meets Grover and Annabeth at a summer camp for troubled kids when he’s 13; he and Grover hit it off from the start, but Annabeth… not so much. 
  • However, they have plenty of time to get to know each other, because Annabeth also goes to his new high school! They share a few classes, bicker, Annabeth might beat up one of Percy’s bullies because she’s the only one who gets to condescend to Percy like that, and they eventually become BFFs. 
  • Against his mother’s advice, Percy joins the school swim team because he’ll take any excuse to be in the water, even if it’s chlorinated. Even without his tail, he’s the fastest swimmer on the team and wins all the holding breath underwater contests. Annabeth starts to notice some of Percy’s weirder behavior as they get older and she’s paying him more attention (because he’s a weirdo, duh, not because she, like, has a crush on him or thinks he looks good with his shirt off or anything, god.)
  • She thinks he might be abusing steroids, but when she sits him down for an Important Intervention, Percy laughs it off and decides to tell her the truth (not because he likes her or anything, but she’s Annabeth and if there’s anyone he can tell this to, it’s her. (Okay, yes, he kinda sorta maybe adores her, whatever.)) She doesn’t believe him until he fills up the bathtub, pours in a whole bucket of salt, and gets in. 
  • Annabeth absolutely does not faint at the sight of his tail. She… well, it’s a bit overwhelming, that’s all. But no, she did not faint, “stop telling people that, Percy!”
Warhammer 40,000 Rogue Trader 28mm - Shootout at Sourbridge

(A repost from my old blogspot blog, an AAR of a game we played back in June 2014)

Another day, another Imperial proclamation.

Mhorrghan, Captain of the House Guard cleared his throat ready to address the crowd that clustered around the foot of the raised platform he and his detachment occupied. Weather-wise it was a typical day down at the bottom of the arcology near the great iron bridge that spanned the long-lost, flooded lower levels of Hive Termitius - the ancient Sourbridge. A continual drizzle fell from the rusty heights above and splattered brown tidemarks on Mhorrghan’s olive green greatcoat. The stench of the The Sourbridge remained eternal - a mix of diesel fumes, fecal matter and balti pie.

This won’t go down well, thought Mhorrghan to himself. By Decree of the House of Huriatat taxes were up on Soylent (all flavours/colours), Lho-Sticks, and brown ale, and the curfew was being extended to sectors 13 through 17 following a spate of thrill-kills and happy slapping, and the vandalising of the 200 metre tall bronze statue of Count Huriatat himself - an incident that had been seen a giant erect penis painted on the statue’s forehead in day-glo yellow paint.

“Citizen-serfs of Termitius Hive. By Decree of the House of-”

There was one crack and sizzle, the distinctive sound of a lasgun being fired.

Mhorrghan had just enough time to recognise the las blast before the blinding white pain erupted in his right hip and he was flung to the cold, hard surface of the rusty floorplates. There was screaming from below, the sound of panicked flight and then more of the crack-sizzle as the men of the detachment fired wildly in all directions.

As he slipped into unconsciousness he heard the sound of a trooper desperately radioing on the Commvox for urgent backup.

Jhonndil Injer lowered the lasgun and cursed himself. That old knife wound in his hand playing up again - spasmed and jostled the barrel as he pulled the trigger. The hated Guard Captain was now out of sight between an length of pig iron walling.

He turned his grotesquely over-muscled body towards the waiting gangers of the Typtun Taliban hive-gang.

“Get him!” he spat. “Don’t let the Housedogs recover him. We’ll have his decapitation live on all vid-channels before the day is out!”

Another of our “play to make a story” Rouge Trader games. Phil as GM and chief toy-provider. The terrain is all from Mantic’s Deadzone range which makes for good Necromunda proxy stuff. The forces of House Huriatat are Copplestone “Neo Sovs” and the Typtun Taliban are old Necromunda “Goliaths”. You’ll notice a monochrome theme to this week’s AAR (or as it is sometimes known “grey”).

This might be a satire upon the limited horizons and limited palette of the typical hive-dweller of of the bleak, grimdark future where there is only war, it might be a deliberate stylistic choice and nod towards German expressionist cinema of the 1930s, a veiled dig at the hordes of modern 40K players who think that a single coat of Chaos Black spraypaint constitutes “painted” figures, or might it be that Jason only had access to a black-and-white laser printer when printing out the street tiles to go on his baseboard and that Phil’s plastic terrain is only at the primer spraycan stage.

(2016 edit - Phil’s plastic terrain now very nicely painted).

The upended figure is Captain Mhorrghan “bleeding out” having been shot in the tangley. House troops panicking.

My command - that’s just six gangers with assorted firearms and no armour, and a man with Heavy Stubber. We are not in list-picking mode here.

Note how pasty-skinned they are. This is because while not busy Rouge Trading, they run a secret underground shop selling Magic cards somewhere in an isolated, out of the way area of the hive. In keeping with the hipster nature of the area they neither advertise nor even bother with a sign pointing to their basement location. You’ve probably never heard of it. (In-jokes? Yes, we have them).

Finney’s lot on the right flank. By their distinctive orange skin these can be identified as the members of the Typtun Taliban who live in Jo E'essecks hab-block - the Umpa-Lumpa chapterhouse.

House Huritat troops rushing to the rescue. Note that in the full spirit of 1987 vintage Rouge Trader, the headless figure of Dicky chose to attend the proceedings in a retro Birmingham City top. He later stabbed a Luton Town supporter on the Intercity train home.

This tunnel over the railway line (some form of coaling or watering station I guess. What do Dark Millennium trains run on anyway? Probably the crystallised essence of the crushed dreams of the quintillions of Imperial subjects, or just the rendered-down body-fat of ginger babies drowned in a bucket at birth) which later provided a lot of cover for my gangers in Wild West “ricochet” style.

Aerial shot from the passing Inquisitorial spyplane, I Know What You Did Last Wednesday (When You Thought No-one Was Watching You Dirty Fecker). Dicky’s troops are using the alleyway as a field of fire, Jason’s troops are hugging the chest-height ferrocrete walls and Mhorrghan is still bleeding everywhere.

Dicky had a Heavy Stubber. It fired one burst. It didn’t wound so he didn’t get to use the Following Fire rule which basically states that if you wound you can fire again at same target or another within 4" and keep going until you miss or fail to wound. And then he got shot and died.

Aunt Sally, gang “heavy”. I had a Heavy Stubber. It fired one burst. It didn’t hit so I didn’t get to use the Following Fire rule which basically states that if you wound you can fire again at same target or another within 4" and keep going until you miss or fail to wound. And then he got shot and died.

Finney gets up on a rooftop across the street from the position where House Huriatat troops are defending the fallen officer. Finney later attempted to jump off into the street but this shit the bed as he rolled some 1s and two of his steroid-abusers died on the way down. I think either their shinbones couldn’t take the impact of all that muscle landing on them and splintered when they hit the pavement, or their disco tits overbalanced them such that they landed head-first.

Shit. I hadn’t noticed this. This remarkable LOS was being laughed about in the gangers turn and ended up being one of the few shots throughout the game that wasn’t hampered by cover. I could have fired back but chose not to as I hadn’t noticed it of my own accord and was only aware of it because it caused much amusement. So I roleplayed “my character wouldn’t know that” and green mohawk chap fired at somebody else and didn’t shoot back until he’d been shot at and missed.


Here he is drawing a bead on that Muscle Mary. Who is he anyway? Trooper Lee? Peart? Lifeson? Emerson? Lake? Palmer? Wakeman? Brock? Fripp? Gilmour? Waters? Anderson? Who cares, I fucking hate prog anyway.

Mid-game overview. My lads are in cover on the left side of the board and starting to whittle down the house troops that were originally heading towards the rooftop where the injured officer was.

Finney’s heroic descent to ground level via the lamppost isn’t going too well. See above.

Probably the closest in game equivalent to Jhonndil Injer’s vantage point from the Sourbridge Book Depository (also functions as a combined incinerator and memory hole). House troops ready to defend the fallen Captain and await back-up.

It didn’t end that well for them. In fact hidden from view in this shot is a Juve with a laspistol who calmly plugged three house troops on three consecutive turns from a range of about 4" and didn’t receive a single scratch from lasgun fire coming back at it. (+2 for laspistol fire up to 8" probably helped here).

After most people were dead (helped by ignoring the unit coherency rules and ignoring morale) there were only two players left in the game and I declined to pursue the retreating troops. The survivors were dragging the wounded man at half rate and managed to retreat from view around a corner. It might have been possible to outflank them but with three players now out of stuff to command I felt that it didn’t justify dragging out the end of the game.

And here’s the thing that amazed me. We got about two hours gaming (i.e. not long enough to outstay it’s welcome) with less than 30 figures on the board for five players, and with only two (crap) support weapons and everyone else with popguns and the house troops wearing papier-mache bulletproof vests.

The charred apartment of mass murderer Pedro Vargas, who set fire to his home before going door to door through the apartment building shooting anyone who he could find. In the end he murdered a total of 6 victims, before finally being killed himself in a fatal shoot out with the police. His motives were unclear, although it was reported that he was generally antisocial and abused steroids.

If The Whole World Has Forgotten, The Song Remembers When

Beta: black-john-lennon

Rating: PG 

Spoilers: 6x02

Summary:  In avoiding the New Directions Kitty runs right into the one person who understands.  

Characters: Kitty, Blaine

Author’s Note: It’s no secret that Anderwilde was one of my favorite dynamics of seasons 4&5.  With as mean as Kitty is, she’s always exempted Blaine from it. (Manstruating is pretty tame insult by Kitty’s standards) So with both of them being angry at New Directions for various reasons and both of them separated from the Homecoming stuff I wondered what would happen if they happened to see each other. Also I need one of the graduates to say “we fucked up and we should have helped the new kids” and figured Blaine would be the one to do that. 

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Before I continue, allow me to say the following: I am not anti-organized religion, and I am not anti-gun. I feel the need to say these things first to place whatever I write next into context. And for all we know, these may have nothing to do with what’s written next. I just need to write, to help me process what’s going on. So please bear with me… Know that you are not required to read this.

Over the last 48 hours I’ve been reading as much as I can on the violence at the Pulse nightclub in Orlando, FL. Pulse has touted itself as the hottest gay nightclub in the area, and it’s a place where people go not just to party, but to find acceptance, community and love. It was also Latin night, and who doesn’t love a healthy dose of Latin music while on the dance floor?

And then 29-year-old Omar Mateen arrives and sprays the room with bullets. 49 people were killed and over 50 injured, some seriously. Mateen himself died during a shootout with the police. Prior to the shooting he called 911 saying that he pledged allegiance to ISIS/ISIL.

On the surface, this looks like a radical Islamic terrorist attack, something that we are all very quick to condemn. Even Muslims decry the violence, saying that Islam does not teach hate. Memorials are erected on social media pages everywhere, and tributes to the fallen are given, including on the Tony Awards. Not to mention on the Twitter feeds of several politicians from both sides of the aisle. Thoughts and prayers, anyone?

Still on the same surface, because a gay club was targeted, Mateen is painted as a homophobe, and the shooting a hate crime. He allegedly got upset seeing gay men kissing only a few days before. If he’s a follower of a radical form of Islam, then this makes sense. This realm isn’t owned by radical Islam, just so you know. There are members of certain Christian religions that send their children to camps, hoping to “pray away the gay.”

More information then begins to come out. He’s an American citizen, born in New York. His ex-wife says he’s bipolar and abusive, as well as abusive of steroids. His father says he wasn’t particularly religious, something confirmed by the Imam of the mosque he occasionally attended.

Then over the last day or so, news articles have been coming out that speculate that Mateen was gay. That he visited Pulse on around a dozen occasions, sometimes getting drunk and belligerent (he would get escorted out on those occasions). That he had gay dating apps on his smartphone. An old classmate alleged that Mateen asked him on romantic dates which were turned down because at the time, the classmate himself hadn’t yet come out.

So… What if… Just what if Omar Mateen was a closeted homosexual engaging in self-hatred over much of his young life? If he wasn’t a religious man, might his previous religious history planted a seed of hatred that blossomed into what pushed him to kill? Might there have been homophobia within his family unit? Might he have been rejected by enough gay men? Could that 911 call be merely a cover for a sin he felt was even greater than being a terrorist? Could he have just… Snapped? This is mere speculation, you understand, not statements of fact. Not at all.

Yes, we should all rally for stricter gun laws, not to take the guns away, but to just make it tougher for them to be purchased. I’m talking about extensive training as well as more extensive background checks. Make buying a gun as difficult as it is to buy or even drive a car. I mean, before you’re licensed to drive, you are required to take so many hours of driver’s education, plus written and practical testing. As for those background checks, doesn’t it make sense to speak to, I don’t know, a prospective gun owner’s ex-spouse to check if they easily fly off the handle? Had the gun vendor spoken to Mateen’s ex-wife, things might’ve ended differently.

Or things might not have. His ties to the security company he worked for could’ve still made it easy to purchase that rifle from the black market.

Who knows……. Really…….. Who knows……..

Like many people around the world, I’m sitting in the dark trying to make sense out of chaos, but it’s tough to do. And all the information making its way into my devices isn’t always helpful in processing things.

It’s just so easy to dismiss this as a terrorist attack, that Omar Mateen was nothing more than a homophobic radical believer of Islam, an ISIS/ISIL fighter that committed this heinous act because of his religious beliefs, but there’s something in my gut that tells me to keep looking. There might be more to find.

Hopefully some sense. Heaven knows I need some of that right now.


On another, but somewhat related note, I’m skeptical that stricter gun laws will be passed in the United States. If that Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting wasn’t able to light a fire in the hearts and under the derrières of those sitting in Capitol Hill, nothing will.