Ok but soulmate au

Where person B has ‘Fuck you!’ As their soulmark and their entire life they’ve been made fun of for it so when they walk into someone while texting and the person says 'Fuck you!’ B just says, ’ OH! SO YOU’RE THE MOTHERFUCKER WHO GAVE ME THE WORST FUCKING SOULMARK EVER! WELL GUESS WHAT I WILL NEVER LET THIS GO THERE IS NOTHING WORSE THAN HAVING THE WORDS “Fuck you!” PERMINATLY MARKED ON YOUR SKIN!’ And A just looks at them and says 'Well imagine having that fucking essay written on you in caps-lock…’

my date: so, what are your hobbies?

me: uhh,,,I like to read

my date: oh, what do you read?

me: *thinks of all the smut and fanfiction I read until the early hours of the morning* anything, really. Anyway, let’s look at the menu I’m starving-

Person A: *Sighs*

Person C: What’s wrong?

Person A: I have a feeling that Person B doesn’t like me.

Person C: Like you?
Person A: As in you know….

Person A: *Blushes* 

Person A: …like like me. 

Person C: You love Person B?

Person A: *Blushes harder* Yeah. I don’t think that they feel the same way.

Person B: *Kicks door down*


Office Shenanigans

Person C: I heard you hired Person A as your secretary.

Person B: I did.

Person C: Were they good at making coffee?

Person B: Very good.

Person C: Were they effiecient at filing?

Person B: Very effiecient.

Person C: Were they fast at putting on clothes?

Person B: Very fast

Person C:

Santa Claus:



Person B: I can explain.