stephenmichaelhaas

Home.

yes the place that has been gutted and paved over

to get rid of all the nasty memories so a new family can start their lives 

fresh…  If I where to make a suggestion, I would tell them never to live 

in that house, no matter how temporary.

when I drive by home I see a dog and laughing kids

but when that was my home, it was a crack house

and cops where always on the look out

what was scarier than the cops in my home, was the man 

this crack beast, flippant attacks at the drop of a hat

and for nothing more than a slight in convenience.

I moved out of home and so did all of my family except for the Man

and one time,  when I was quite immobile I road a bike past my old

HOME.

it was staring me down casting hideous shadows of overcast- memories and oppression

and there the Man walks by with his gardening tools and his tattered 

metal band shirts and jeans.. and he just looks me down as I ride my

bike by.. my

natural tendency is anxiety and fear so I speed up and as I look back he

is still looking at me.. still staring me down. and this fleeting moment 

couldn’t go by any sooner cause I have been trying to rid myself of this

for the past twenty years. 

   our front door was bolted shut at a point so that the cops wouldn’t see

us come and go. friends where afraid to come over, and when I left I  

was in constant scrutiny. when I finally had a chance to slip away 

to college things got really bad..

 I couldn’t help but think, daily, why such a terrible human being 

would make a seven year old witness crack deals or violence.

these friends 

of yours.. yeah we’ll call friends.. how are friends happy when the

moneys there but then the next minute the siblings have to hide in the 

closet because you and your friends are at each others neck..? 

a kid shouldn’t have to come “home” to a trashed house, and listen

to your violent stories “the glory days” about how you had never

lost a fight… 

but the most fucked up thing of all is that you where so dissilusioned

that thought that you where a 

good father.. a healthy family provider.. milking disability. letting mom 

do the cooking, cleaning, and the working? what is this?

egging on you step son

and trying to catch your self on fire 

to win your wife back….

Sometimes thats home for you.

And sometimes a despicable human being will teach you a lesson 

3

   I have always been in love with elongated features.. and I have been seeing this idea in my head for a while, I just havent had time to get to it.. so here it is.. This is the first time in a while that I have been excited enough to do a whole series.. so Im going to take mundane things like sleep,eating,sex and dance and depict them through this skewed lens.

 I will also be doing a shirt of the blue one..

I hope you all enjoy.

-stephen 

So this year is coming to a close and I think it is time to express gratitude and talk a lot about things that are important to me.

I am sure many of you have been seeing a lot of the stuff I have been putting out. It is all the product of a year long Artist in residency I was fortunate enough to take part in. The whole thing has left me with a lot of room to learn. See I have had time to fail, time to do commissions, time to work under my Heroes and most importantly time to realize what making artwork means to me. 
Around August I was utterly exhausted on making things and so I had to collect my thoughts. I was thinking that being an artist meant making things full time and being payed for them. That was a big misconception as I am sure you know. So I realized that making art (for me) isn’t about how people receive it, it is about how you yourself feel when you make art. So I realized the best I had ever felt is when I didn’t care at all about how the stuff was supposed to be received.. At that same time I realized that I had never made one concise body of work. So I set out to kill two birds with one stone (Im a savage I know). I would find said Joy through making my own body of work and so it all began.
As all of the stuff kept progressing I started getting more and more ambitious and what was going to be a small show turned into a 5 month project, It would bookend my residency perfectly…A one year study on myself as an artist, I couldn’t ask for a better life lesson. So anyway at that same time I had been starting to near the completion of an album I have been working on for the better part of four years.. And all of this magical stuff just seems to be lining up right with the closing of 2014.
So now I am starting to see both the art show and the album as the closing of my first big chapter of life. I am 23 years old now and I believe that both the art show and album will say everything I have to say on life thus far.

In closing I wanted to let you all know that both the art show and the album are nearing completion.. The album will wrap up tracking in early january and the art show will happen on january 16th. I am trying hard to make it easy to keep track of everything (expect a website soon) enough of my ranting! thank you all for your endless love and support! I cannot express how thankful I am.

Wayne White Day TOOOOOOO

All I gotta say is…. YEAH! I am pumped, overly pumped. that I get to spend most of my day just doing this thang!  What sorta dream, what sorta wild experience is this. I get to learn a lot about spatial reasoning under a hero of mine for FREE! its great.. Today I made a hat and re-enforced weaker parts of the structure.. and here is me with this beast of a confederate cubist sculpture.

Enjoy Y'all

P.S did I mention that I am working with the nicest group of people.

Day one with wayne white.

    woke up, out of sorts and slightly nervous. Trying to get acclimated with an environment that I am really not at all comfortable with (A house of artisan bears and baskets). Last night I was way negative about it which is not my usual thing.. So I wake up get all my things ready I head there.. and I am nervous.. thinking to myself “what if Im not good enough?” “what if wayne gets angry at me for being incompetent?” “Im just going to show up and not know what to do." 

So I got there and they where all out to lunch all except one guys.. he directed me to a big cardboard head.. which I quickly got to work on.. then Wayne got back and he remembered me from last thursday.. and he was instantly into what I was putting down.. from the second I stepped in the room all of my stresses went away.. This is where I belong, this is not the least bit exclusive, this incredibly talented and experienced artist isn’t just breathing fire on all of us for sucking.. No he is encouraging us all, and making hilarious jokes and just making a warm environment that I never want to leave. He tells me to make the foot, and it’s just such a good time.. I don’t know what else to say.. I look forward to seeing where the next few weeks go. 

I will keep y'all up to date!

Dear Me,

    first off, I really do love you. No matter how hard I am on you. Keep that in mind next time your angry at me. I know that doesn’t justify my tantrums. Just know that I say what I say because I truly care about you. I want what is best deep down in our heart. I know its a struggle sometimes but I have seen so much improvement in us recently. Your truly trying and I applaud that.

   don’t get mad at me when I mess up. Your certainly not a test taker or a morning person so don’t be stressed when you aren’t good at being a test taker or a morning person. Work hard but don’t overwork, think but don’t over think.. you will be ok, trust me. Remember, you’re just a human, your aloud to fuck everything up.. I mean you sorta have to. and you also have to be a bad person too sometimes you know?

Think about this next time your sad, I love you

Sincerely,

Me