So i saw an au somewhere wherein the names you get called are tattooed on your skin and i keep thinking abt it
TW: racial, homophobic and ableist slurs
Names have power. You learn very quickly to use them to your advantage. Repurpose words for your own use. Give them new meanings, don’t let the ugly words take up too much space. Especially when you’re a Loser.
Richie’s words are all over Eddie’s skin. He hates it, hates that anyone has the power to blemish him, and that Richie thoroughly abuses that power.
The first time Richie starts calling him something new, he always flips his shit.
Eds has a special place in his heart though, and on his body. It’s right under his ribcage, the left side of course.
‘So now I’m going to have Ederick tattooed on my skin forever,’ Eddie grumbles to Stan one day. They are both lying back on Stan’s bed, having originally planned to finish off each other’s homework (they had a nice little system; Eddie sucks at algebra, but is a rockstar at biology. Stan’s a math whiz, but finds bio mind-numbingly boring. Trade offs in a few subjects is perfectly logical) but had eventually abandoned that to talk.
'You know he just does it to cover up the nastier stuff you get called, right?’ Stan points out. 'He does the same to me, and the rest of the losers.’ Eddie thinks about that, and he realises that it’s true. Bill has big bill and billiam covering more obscene things like retard. Mike’s nigger on his wrist has faded into mom, (okay mom, Eddie hears Richie say in his head) and whenever it returns, Richie calls him something new and even more ridiculous every day until Mike stops worrying at the skin there. Eddie’s own faggot has been pushed aside for spaghetti head, which he finds he much prefers.
He feels a great surge of appreciation for his trash-talking friend. He’s the real mom, he thinks. A lot more things that Richie does that are seemingly designed solely to annoy them are starting to reveal themselves as acts of kindness. Eddie realises that sometimes people show love in different ways, and Richie’s is just a lot more subtle.
Stan sits up suddenly, and Eddie follows him when he sees him tug down the collar of his shirt to show Eddie filthy jew scratched into his collarbone. Right above it, written in delicate cursive, superman. Eddie grins, his eyes a little watery.
'This,’ he taps the slur, 'gets a little easier to handle when I have this,’ he brushes superman delicately, 'sitting above it, reminding me that people love me, care about me for who I am, not what I seem.’ He pulls his shorts up, exposing another word on his thigh. freak. And then he pulls them back further, and Eddie reads stan the man. Stan touches the latter fondly.
'That’s been there ever since freak showed up,’ Stan sniffs, still smiling.
'Oh Stan,’ Eddie breathes, and hugs him. He’s crying a little bit too, he realises, giggling sheepishly as he feels his wet cheeks.
'Thank you,’ he tells him after he pulls away. Stan looks confused.
'What are you thanking me for? Richie’s the one who started it,’
'For being so observant. Richie deserves friends who recognise the things he does for them,’ He explains, feeling a little ashamed. He should have realised. He should have had a little more faith in his friends.
Stan shakes his head.
'You do more for him than you will ever know. He has trouble…’ Stan sighs frustratedly, 'expressing it, but he loves you. More importantly, he appreciates you. He wont tell you, but he does,’
Eddie clutches at the blanket under him. He remembers a phrase spoken to him when he was a kid, and at the time he hadn’t really thought about it, but now he realises the extent of it.
'Sometimes actions speak louder than words,’ he tells Stan. 'For all Richie talks, he doesn’t really say a whole lotta meaningful shit,’
'He’s not exactly Charles Bukowski,’ Stan says in his flat voice, like Eddie is supposed to know who that is.
'You’re weird. But I love you,’ he tells Stan seriously. Stan laughs.
'I like poetry,’ he says by way of explanation.
'That makes sense. You’re an obscure nerd,’
Stan twists around, reaching for the bottom of his shirt at his back. He lifts it up and they both collapse into laughter as obscure nerd grafts itself onto his skin, letter by letter.
Sometimes the words are a curse. But they’ve brought Eddie closer to his friends today, and he’s grateful for that. He makes a promise to himself to always look for the good.
Writers remember everything…especially the hurts. Strip a writer to the buff, point to the scars, and he’ll tell you the story of each small one. From the big ones you get novels. A little talent is a nice thing to have if you want to be a writer, but the only real requirement is the ability to remember the story of every scar.
Art consists of the persistence of memory.
me, coming out of watching the new It movie: new theory what if the movie It is just a sequel to Stranger Things and Mike’s family moved away to Derry after the stuff with the Upside Down, changed their names, and Mike tried to forget about Eleven and everything he left behind and then the plot of It happens (he also got glasses) and here he is, still riding his bike towards Bad Things
“My little brother loves creepy clowns. He’s only 3 so I won’t let him watch IT, but he still loves Pennywise. He asked me to paint his face like Pennywise. He’s done pennywise before but I lost most of the pictures. And since we’ve gotten more pictures of the movie Pennywise, I decided to redo the photo shoot and really go big. The shot in the water was actually a last minute decision. I thought about the scene in the basement and my friends own a lake, so I asked them if I could stop by and toss him in the lake. They said it was fine so he got in the lake and made his “mean face” and I got the perfect shot. “This is the first IT photo shoot I did. At first, he had a plastic bag on his head and a wig and I edited the forehead to look more real. He didn’t have the full costume. So I decided to redo it. And the new one it’s his real hair, and his forehead is edited just a bit to look bigger because these costumes I make from household things I happen to have. So I didn’t have a bald cap and liquid latex, and I threw that old orange wig away. That’s my favorite part of doing it. I don’t really plan things out and make these fancy costumes. Occasionally I do, but with Pennywise, he’s got on an old white blazer, I tied the sleeves with some string to give it the puffy look and the little cuffs at the end. He’s got a dress on under that’s rolled up under it to give it the puffy thing on his hips. The collar is a dress my sister has that I just turned inside out and put around his neck. So really the only thing I bought was orange hairspray and some balloons. I make most everything from simple things I find around the house.“
Photo Credit: Eagan Tilghman
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