Dick: If you put ‘violently’ in front of anything to describe your action, it instantly becomes 100% funnier.

Barbara: Violently drives.

Jason: Violently reads.

Stephanie: Violently eats.

Tim: Violently dies a horrific death. Finally.

Duke: Violently worries about Tim.

Okay but clone wars au…

Talia is a Sith Lord and she sends her son Damian who she and Ra’s have been training in the dark side of the force to learn the ways of/ infiltrate the Jedi order

The justice league is the Jedi council

Bruce is a renowned Jedi master and the robins are his padawans, first was dick who has just recently become a master himself

Bruce goes missing/ is presumed dead just before Damian arrives, but Tim, his last padawan, is adamant that he can still sense him in the force and goes looking for him

Huge scandal when Damian shows up and it’s revealed he’s Bruce’s son (Jedi code and all that, nice going Bruce you horndog)

Babs is also a Jedi master, she was critically injured in the field and is now in a groovy hover wheelchair thing and is the Jedi temples librarian (ie she has access to basically all the knowledge in the galaxy lol)

The Jedi council is like we can’t take this kid in abt Damian he’s too dangerous and dick is like UM he is a CHILD who needs guidance and I’m gonna make him my padawan!!! And the Jedi council is like no and dick is like you know I’ll do it anyway and they’re like ugh fine

So now dick is training Damian and Damian is being a little piece of shit and is disrespectful to the clones but he’ll learn and he’ll get better

Fuck forgot to mention the batgirls are also Jedi they’re babs’ padawans

Doesn’t exactly follow the Jedi code but Steph and cass are how do you say….. Harold

Jason was Bruce’s second padawan, he was killed by notorious criminal/separatist general idfk the joker, was resurrected and Talia tried to train him as her sith apprentice but now he’s a badass bounty hunter owo

There’s BIG drama!!!

Maybe Alfred is like some super old retired Jedi idk

Not sure where duke fits in with this au yet. Hes definitely a jedi padawan but idk whose

Lois Lane is a senator!!!!!!

Selina is still a thief but now she does it IN SPACE!!!

Talia eventually breaks free of her father’s dark side brainwashing and learns true balance in the force, third eye opens becomes woke af and super badass icon

Jason and his bf roy (disgraced Jedi was kicked from the order) are both bounty hunters actually

Hondo Onaka is still hondo bc I love him and he’s in this au, dammit!

I’ll add more if I think of it but uuhh yeah this is good au like this au

Don’t think about

A/N: Time to bring back my favorite sad/angsty headcannon from my deleted tumblr. I even added some new ones to the list to make it so much better. 


- Dick’s heart beating hard right as a trapez act starts, fear that they might fall.

- Damian thinking Dick was dead when he got to come back to life.

-Damian coming back from the dead only to find the person who was always by his side not there. 

- Dick putting the video he bought for him and Damian to play on Damian’s gravestone. 

- No one telling Dick *cough Bruce* that Damian was alive again.

- Tim seeing his dad bleeding out and dead.

- Barbara having people judge her by her wheelchair not her brain.

- Kate’s last time she sees her mom and twin sister is when they are dead.

- Jason constantly excepting people to let him down.

- Bruce holding Jason, Stephanie (her hand at least in the hospital), and Damian as they all died. Him thinking back to his parents and how he couldn’t save them then too. 

- Duke having his parents go insane due to the Joker gas. Not knowing all the good their son was doing.

- Jason coming back and finding out everyone moved on. 

- Stephanie at 15 and deciding what the best option was for her baby and deciding it wasn’t with her.

- Tim losing Stephanie, his parents, Connor, and Bart all around the same time. 

- Damian seeing sons and mothers out together knowing he will never get that.

- Jason being sold out by his mother resulting in his death.

- People Tim care about dying and him feeling alone as Robin was taken from him.

- Alfred having to bury his love ones. Living to an old age when many of them died young.

- Harper losing her mother and trying her best for Cullen.

-Alfred suffering from his grief of losing Thomas and Martha but still trying to figure out how to raise a lost boy. 

- Cass looking at them knowing she is the reason Miranda Row is gone.

- Bruce watching his whole world being laid six feet under at a young age.

- Luke living in his dad’s shadow. 


I dare you to try to not think about it.

Dick meets his son (Fanfic)

So I hope you guys enjoy this, also it turned out longer then I expected so warning. Parts of this is kinda like a songfic (where the lyrics are italicized) so if your interested in that song I’ll link it below.

“It was a rainy night, when he came into sight”

Quickly Barbara reached over turning the song off, that was is Dick’s favorite song, which was ironic considering the situation she was in right now. She glanced into the rearview mirror she could see the small bundle from the small mirror that faced his car seat. Thankfully he was still fast asleep. Barbara continued down the road toward her small apartment. She still couldn’t believe it, Dick was alive. He had been gone for so long that she feared the worst. She had seen him a couple times, and so far had been able to keep the infant a secret from him. She knew she couldn’t keep him a secret forever but she just needed to figure out a way to tell him, she couldn’t exactly say “Welcome back Dick, I know you’ve been gone a year so surprise! We had a baby”

She pulled into her parking spot but the rain was still pouring down, her baby was still sound asleep and there was no way she was going to risk waking him, he hadn’t been feeling well today and this was the first he had slept all day. So Barbara reached over turning the radio back up, letting out a sigh when she realized the song wasn’t yet over

“All I wanna do is make love to you, say you will you want me too”

Barbara felt herself thinking back to last year, it was about a month before Dick ‘left’.

Barbara Gordon was fast asleep in her watchtower bed when she was awakened to a soothing tingling feeling making its way up her neckline. Her eyes fluttered open meeting a pair of blue ones.

“Good morning” Dick smiled pecking her lips, his hair falling loosely over his face

Barbara stretched “Good Morning” she smiled wrapping her arms around his neck. Dick dropped his face and nuzzled it into Barbara’s neck “Last night was fun” she grinned running her fingers through his hair

“Uh huh” Dick agreed as he began trailing kisses on her bare shoulder

They weren’t dating but then again they weren’t not dating. Some people might call what had been going on between them for the past 8 months “Friends with Benefits” but Barbara didn’t like that word. Dick was more than just a booty call, but she was scared to admit that they were more than that. Ivy was to blame for all of this, it all started 8 months back when Nightwing and Batgirl were both hit with her sex toxin. Instead of using the solution that they kept in their utility belts which Batman had come up with years ago, they both made their way back to Dick’s Bludhaven apartment and gave in to the sexual tension that had been lingering between them for a long time. It was slightly awkward that next morning but not as much as it should’ve been. They swore it was a one-time thing and that they did it just to help each other out. But that wasn’t the case, 2 weeks later she woke with Dick in her bed again, she had been captured by Bane and Dick came by to check on her, he stitched up a wound than one thing led to another and they ended up here. After that it was a drunken night at one of Bruce’s gala, the next time was because they both were getting ready to go on really risky missions this dance had continued for the past 8 months. Always coming up with excuses to sleep with each other but the past month it had turned into just doing it.

Dick pulled Barbara out of her thoughts when he began sucking a sensitive spot in the nape of her neck, she let out a moan and Dick pushed himself up smiling at her “I love-“

“Shhh” Barbara cut him off pulling him to her lips and giving him a hard kiss

Dick pulled away after a moment “Babs, just let me say it”

‘Don’t do this Dick” she said as she began trailing his neck with kisses

He rolled off her “But we’ve known each other since we were 9, I do love you” he brought her hand to his lips kissing it, then began trailing kisses up her arm his free hand sliding down her waist

Barbara arched her back “Yeah Dick but when we used to say it, it was a different kind of love. Now it’s-“

She stopped when Dick rolled on top of her, his eyes bearing into hers “Why don’t you just admit we have been meaning it in a different way long before we started doing this” he gestured between both their bare bodies

Barbara sighed running her hands up and down his chest then moving her fingers to the circular necklace with a flower pressed into it a homage to his Ramani heritage. She played with it for a moment before tugging on it, bringing him closer to her till their lips finally met, “Fly me to the moon Hunk Wonder” she whispered against his lips when they parted for air

“With pleasure” Dick grinned wrapping his arms around her and pressing his lips back to hers [end flashback]

She looked up at her windshield, thankfully the rain had stopped, quickly she got out of the car she grabbed the infant car seat before making her way into her small apartment.

A few hours later the infant had woken up for a short time but still hadn’t acted himself, if anything he seemed to be getting worse so Barbara was keeping an exceptionally close eye on him he slept in his bouncer beside her, she had stripped him of his clothes and taken the blanket off him because he felt like he was starting to get a fever. What worried her the most was he was refusing to feed. Which was extremely out of character, for the first time since her son had been born she found herself breaking out her breast pump.

As she sat watching him sleep the song from in the car was stuck in her head

“We made magic that night, oh he did everything right. He brought the woman in me, to many times easily. And in the morning when he woke, all I left him was a note I told him I am the flower you are the seed we walked in the garden we planted a tree”

She thought back on the past year, between finding out she was pregnant, being scared to death, having a scare when she thought she lost the baby, finding out she was having a boy, the heart to heart she had with Stephanie about her own previous pregnancy that resulted in the girls forming a sister like bond that she cherished, not telling her dad till she was 5 months along, the day he was born being the best day of her life but also the saddest because Dick wasn’t there to share it with her at that point she didn’t know if he was alive or dead and finally to today—- Dick’s back he was alive yet she hadn’t worked up the courage to tell him about this amazing perfect tiny person that was half of him.

“Then it happened one day, we came around the same way”

Barbara paced the hospital floor beside the bulky metal crib that Nathan laid in, one side was down so that he would be easily accessible, a small IV was in his little arm pumping him with fluids. She paused when he beganq to squirm and quickly rushed over gently picking him up. Careful not to disturb his IV.

“Shh it’s okay baby I’m here” she soothed when he began to let out a cry. The cry was pathetic, it was raspy and weak sounding. “Shhh mamas here” she cooed bouncing him gently and brushing the sweaty locks of black hair away from his forehead.

There was a tap on the door then it opened revealing Stephanie “Hey, we came as soon as we heard” she said walking in Tim directly behind her

Barbara nodded “Better, they broke his fever, ran a bunch of test and he’s getting fluid now” she pointed to the IV bag. “Now it’s just a waiting game. “ she finished watching as Tim set the small Teddy bear he had been holding inside the hospital crib.

Stephanie smiled as she watched the 4 month old cling onto Barbara’s shirt his little eyes closed tightly, she stepped forward rubbing his back. “ Poor guys” she stuck out her bottom lip then looked up at Barbara “You did the right thing, brining him here immediately. Wouldn’t want to risk anything”

Barbara shook her head “I didn’t decide to leave till his fever was 102.5 when I got here it was almost 103”

Tim walked around the crib toward them “I wouldn’t call that bad parenting, you’re an amazing mom Barb.” He wrapped one arm around her waist giving her a side hug. His eyes caught the wrap the splint they had put on Nathan’s arm in order to keep the IV in place, along with the bandaids that were on his leg from where they had stuck him with a needle for blood tests.”They stuck my poor nephew with needles how dare them!” Tim leaned forward placing a small kiss on the top of Nathan’s head.

Stephanie smiled at the boy, they stayed for a couple more minutes hoping to catch some information but unfortunately, a doctor never came with news. “Well we need to get going, with you not being on patrol tonight the big guy could use all the help he can get.” Stephanie said giving Barbara a quick hug she nodded

“Dick he doesn’t- know about this…..does he?” Barbara asked

Tim shook his head looking slightly disappointed “No,  he wasn’t even home when you called. But you know you need to tell him. Your not gonna be able to keep him a secret forever”

Barbara sighed nodding her head “I know, and I will tell him soon. Now obviously isn’t the time. I’ll figure it out when Nathan is healthy again”

Tim smiled “Alright, well Spoiler, Red Robin, Batman and Robin will keep the streets safe tonight. You don’t worry about anything but this guy” Tim said waving a hand at the infant still resting in her arms.

She watched them leave before sitting down, Nathan still resting on her chest. Even though he was asleep he wouldn’t let her put him down. Every time she did he’d wake up and start crying again, he wouldn’t even allow Stephanie or Tim to hold him so she could have a break, he only wanted her. Another sign that he wasn’t feeling well, Nathan was the friendliest, happiest most relaxed baby there was.

She jumped lightly when the door opened revealing the Doctor along with a raspatory nurse.

20 minutes later

Barbara was alone again with her baby as she buttoned up her shirt and moved Nathan so he was cradled in her arms. She smiled down at the baby thankful that he had begun eating again and that they had removed the IV from his arm. She stood “I’m so happy your feeling better”

Nathan gave her a wide smile in response

Barbara laughed “Even if it’s only a result of the medicine they gave you. Do you think your feeling well enough for me to put you down so I can go to the bathroom?” she asked the still smiling baby. Gently she set him in the crib only for him to instantly start crying again, Quickly Barbara picked her son up again and he stopped as soon as he was against her “I guess that’s a no” she kissed his temple

A gust of wind blew and Wally was in the room

“Wally, hey” Barbara said surprised to see him

He nooded “Hey, I came as soon as I heard “

Barbara nodded “Who told you?” she rose an eyebrow

“Tim called after he left here” he explained looking slightly nervous. Barbara chose to ignore it though considering the situation

“How is he?” Wally asked looking down at the baby who was kicking his legs quickly in her arms

She smiled down at him “Better now that they gave him medicine, he has RSV basically a respiratory infection. They gave him some medicine and a breathing treatment. Which I think has made him hyper” she explained

They both let out a chuckle seeing that Nathan had pulled one leg up by his head and stuck his foot in his mouth

“Babs?” a voice said

Immediately Barbara’s heart skipped a beat, her eyes widening as she looked up at Wally

“Sorry” the speedster mouthed

Dick stepped into the room his tense shoulders relaxed when they locked eyes but then he furrowed his eyebrows upon seeing what was in her arms “Whats that?” he asked stepping further in

“A baby” Wally answered cockily earniung a glare from both Dick and Barbara.

“I can see that, I mean what is she doing holding it” he asked

“Him” Wally corrected

Dick nodded slowly “Okay, HIM. Tim said you were at the hospital is everything okay?”

Slowly Barbara nodded “Yeah, I gotta got to the bathroom. Will you hold him Wally” quickly she handed the infant to Wally and made her way out of the room. Ignoring the baby’s cries

Wally sighed “Come on Barbara, here take him” Wally said passing the crying infant off to Dick before following after the fellow red head

“You can imagine his surprise when he saw his own eyes”

Confused Dick looked down at the infant who was still crying a little bit. But that’s not what struck him, the infant’s eyes are what surprised him. Looking down at them as they looked up at him, they were the exact same eyes. Bright and blue. Gently Dick turned the little hospital bracelet on his wrist around ‘Grayson, Nathan, W’ it read

Dick felt his breath catch in his throat, he had to catch his balance as his legs fell weak. “What?” he said a little too loudly causing the baby in his arms to squirm.

Dick looked down at the infant in both awe and shock

Meanwhile Wally caught up with Barbara in the hallway “Barb wait, I ran over here as fast as could to try and tell you but I got nervous”

She turned to look at him “How did he find out?”

“When Tim called he saw that it was him and asked me to put it on speaker I did cause I didn’t have an excuse, so I did. All Tim said was that him and Stephanie had just left the hospital after seeing you. I hung up on them before anything about the baby was said. But as soon as he heard your name he was out the door.” Wally defended

Barbara breathed “Wait, is Dick by himself in there now?”

Wally nodded, then realization hit him “Oh my God, we better go back in” he grabbed Barbara’s wrist pulling her along

When they reached the door they paused hearing muffled talking

Dick stood cradling the baby in his arms lightly rocking him “His movements were gracefull all the girls he did please and my love he stole her away” he sang softly

He glanced up looking at the two redheads peeking through the crack, knowing their presence had been known they entered the room slowly “He flies through the air with the greatest of ease the daring young man on the flying trapeze his movements were graceful all the girls he did please and my love he stole her away” he finished before gently setting the sleeping Nathan in the crib

“How did you?” Barbara began surprised that he not only got Nathan to stop crying but was able to get him to sleep and let him be put down.

Dick stepped forward “Shouldn’t I be the one asking questions?” he crossed his arms

“Who is he Barbara?”

“I’m gonna go” Wally said before quickly speeding off

“Who is he Barbara?” Dick asked again raising his voice slightly

Barbara sighed “I know you already figured it out in the 10 minutes I was gone, it doesn’t take rocket science”

Dick shook his head “How could you keep this from me?”

“You wernt exactly accessible” she retorted

“I’ve been back for a week” he pointed

Barbara shrugged “What was I supposed to do, just walk up to you and be like oh hey Dick guess what we made a person!” she said feeling slightly aggravated even though it wasn’t his fault

Dick’s face softened “We made a baby” he stepped toward the crib looking at the sleeping baby “Is he okay?”

Barbara nodded “Yeah, he has RSV they’re keeping him over night just for percaution but he’ll be okay”

Dick nodded “I’ll stay the night with you guys”

Barbara shook her head “You don’t have to do that”

Dick nodded “Yes I do, Barbara he’s my son. “ a wide grin spread on his face “I have a son, do you realize I haven’t laid eyes on someone I share DNA with since my parents died?’

Barbara nodded

“I want you to tell me everything about this little guy, I am going to spend the rest of my life trying to make up the time I missed”

Barbara shook her head “Dick it wasn’t your fault”

Dick nodded “I know but that doesn’t mean I cant make it up to my son. Now start from the beginning, when did you find out you were pregnant?”


Hope you enjoyed, let me know. Heres the sang link:

https://youtu.be/OAfxs0IDeMs

To any superheroes who can fly or at least have the capacity to travel through the air, like Batman or Spiderman

If you don’t freefall from the tallest building in your city on a regular basis for like at least 30 seconds before taking flight or opening your cape or throwing a web or whatever it is you do then what the fuck is wrong with you? When you go out one night, just go out an extra few minutes early, climb a building and just freakin dive man, feel the wind flow around you, listen to it whip past your ears cause that’s the only way to live

New HC:

Considering Victor Stone is a member of the Justice League in the New 52, imagining Bruce coming to him for advice on how to handle his kids LITERALLY ALL THE TIME because he is the ONLY ONE who will understand:


Bruce: Victor, you and I need to chat in private

Victor, Scared out of his goddamn mind: Ok 👍🏻

Bruce: …so does Dick like Kori cause I really can’t tell??
——————-
Victor: You know, most kids I know are REALLY into Xbox but if Tim really wants good quality and longevity, a PC would do him better. Plus, you could just get him some cheap parts and he could build it himself over break

Bruce, furiously writing this down: Yeah, yeah, go on
——————
Bruce: So, awkward question, but, uh…what would you say is an appropriate way to propose to your latest sidekick that you wanna adopt him

Victor: I literally have no idea but I like where this is going
————————
Bruce, in a panic: Am I really comfortable with Cass going out with Harper and Stephanie every night?? Is this really what I want for my daughter?? She can take care of herself, right Victor??

Victor, not even looking up from his phone: I think it’s fine n