This isn’t about trying to prove anything to anyone - not anymore. This isn’t about me chasing after some boy. This is about me having hope, about saving the one person who’s ever given a real crap about me. This is about keeping promises; about being a hero.
STEPHANIE BROWN aka THE SPOILER / ROBIN / BATGIRL - A Celebration of 25 years! (1992-2017)
Stephanie Brown is five years old, and her father is talking to his friends, and she listens to them. She doesn’t understand what they say, but she doesn’t like it.
Stephanie Brown is six years old, and she drapes a blanket over her shoulders and dances around the hall, chanting that she’s Superman.
Stephanie Brown is seven years old, and she’s locked in her closet, hyperventilating and nobody can hear her.
Stephanie Brown is eight years old, and she’s afraid of closets, and her father, and she’s not sure what’s wrong with her mother.
Stephanie Brown is nine years old, and she knows she’s alone. Gymnastics are her new best friend.
Stephanie Brown is ten years old, and her father’s locked away, and her mother keeps taking medicine, but she’s not sure what it’s for. She keeps thinking about Superman, and her father’s stupid orange costume.
Stephanie Brown is eleven years old, and she decides to make her own destiny, away from her dad, although she’s not sure how.
Stephanie Brown is twelve years old, and she can’t really sew and her grades are going down and she misses her mom so much.
Stephanie Brown is thirteen years old, and she’s kinda figured out the sewing thing, and she looks out the window and sees the Batsymbol, glowing in the sky, and she knows what she has to do.
Stephanie Brown is fourteen years old, and she hits Robin in the face with a brick, and wears a purple costume that makes her feel powerful, and Batman tells her to go home.
Stephanie Brown is fifteen years old, and Robin is her best friend, and she’s gonna have a baby, and Batman won’t stop telling her to quit, to put Spoiler away, but she knows she never will.
Stephanie Brown is sixteen years old, and she’s not Spoiler anymore, but only because she’s traded it for Robin, and she pushes and pushes and tries so so hard to prove herself, and–Batman still tells her to go home.
Stephanie Brown is seventeen years old, and she’s dead, except not really, but she sort of feels like it.
Stephanie Brown is eighteen years old, and death will not keep her down, and she doesn’t care what Batman says, and she pushes and pulls and stumbles and never, never gives up, and Cass lets her be Batgirl, and Steph feels less alone.
Stephanie Brown is nineteen years old, and she crawls into Wayne Manor through the window, and there’s a stiff movement of awkwardness, and she ignores it. After a while, so do the others.
Stephanie Brown is twenty years old, and she doesn’t know what she wants to do with the entire rest of her life, and she doesn’t really care, as long as it’s not boring.
Stephanie Brown is twenty one years old, and she was born into a niche she didn’t belong in, so she carved herself into a new one, and when she sees Bruce Wayne at her college graduation, smiling at her, she thinks it might have been worth it.
there are only two types of people: those who know just how different Stephanie Beatriz sounds and acts compared to Rosa Diaz, and those who have yet to experience that moment of “what the actual fuck”
Miss someone until they come back, or until you come back, until their absence in your life becomes something to be avoided at all costs. Miss them until you don’t have to anymore, until you’re reunited in your favorite booth in your favorite restaurant ordering your favorite meal, miss them until it feels like you never left. Or miss them until you can’t anymore, until the things you miss are identified and cataloged as things and not a person, until you figure out that easy company and long talks and unblinking, all-knowing eye contact will find you again the way they found you the first time. Miss someone until you don’t.