stephanie banks

Twas The Night of Wrestlemania

Twas the night of Wrestlemania 

And all through the house 

Not a creature was stirring 

Not even Shea-Mouse 

The snacks were laid out in the fridge with care 

In hopes that the Big Show wouldn’t be there

The beers were nestled all snug in their place 

The Network buffered quickly with a smile on my face 

The mixed tag match contenders kept displaying their love 

As Maryse stared down Nikki even giving her a shove

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter 

Many superstars were brawling, looking for dreams to shatter 

Away to the window I flew like a flash 

To enter the ring and try to win the Andre The Giant Match

The glare of my TV on leather sofa that’s actually faux 

Gave the lustre of moonlight to the laminate flooring below 

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear 

But Paul Heyman announcing Brock Lesnar was here

With a beefy presence, and a neck so thick 

Brock flexed his biceps and let Heyman do all of his schtick 

More rapid than eagles his opponent soon came 

As smoke bellowed on stage and the crowd chanted his name

“GOLDBERG” was heard from the mouths of every fan 

The problem is, well, Brock just didn’t give damn 

To the corner of the turnbuckle to the top of the tron 

Wrestlemania was soon starting, the excitement had begun

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly 

There was a boo from the crowd and a glint in an eye 

Triple H walked the ramp, looking to end all the games 

But Seth Rollins, determined, limped on through the pain

And then, in a twinkling, with footsteps a flurry 

The crowd went wild to the sound of “Here Comes The Money” 

The commissioner of Smackdown was at Wrestlemania again 

But he was stepping in with an AJ just wanting to cause pain

Backstage all the women prepared for their match 

The rise of Bayley could be destroyed by the powerful Nia Jax 

And poor Alexis Bliss must face one and all 

Who will be the one who will get to stand tall?

Their eyes how they twinkled! Each one is a cutie! 

New Day were here to prove that they ain’t booty 

The hosts of the night pushing their New Day Pops 

The crowd go wild shouting “New Day Rocks”

Randy Orton’s opponent didn’t care for him at all 

It was clear this match would be and out and out brawl 

The Eater of Worlds stepping into the Viper’s nest 

To retain his belt and prove he’s the best

Betrayal after betrayal, this match was for revenge 

And Kevin Owens proving that he doesn’t need friends 

And let’s not forgot the other gold on the line 

Dean Ambrose and Neville must keep their eyes on the prize

I spoke not a word as the music soon played 

The games were over, the WWE logo displayed 

Michael Cole, Byron Saxton even JBL too 

Welcomed us to Wrestlemania with a how-do-you-do

The fireworks exploded and the excitement rose 

I felt a buzz from my head right down to my toes 

As Michael Cole beamed and roared, getting zanier and zanier 

“Welcome ladies and gentlemen”… “To WRESTLEMANIA!”

You know what really grinds my gears?

When you’re trying to make a point about WWE with passion as a fan and then people come at you with “you know it’s scripted” or “you know it’s all fake” and blah blah blah. WE KNOW!! We know it’s all fake and scripted but that doesn’t mean we fans can’t talk about what happens on the show with passion. That’s literally the whole point of being a FAN. Everyone else does it with every other show on tv, so why is WWE and any other wrestling show considered an exception? It’s stupid really.

I know that WWE likes to credit The Four Horsewomen for the Women’s Revolution… and sometimes you’ll hear it from Stephanie McMahon and the Bellas that they started it too… but all reality, it was AJ Lee, Paige, Emma, and Kaitlyn. But AJ Lee and Paige more so than anyone. They were different and gifted. Like X-Men I guess…. I love the Four Horsewomen, I really do… but had it not been for AJ Lee pushing limits, “shattering glass ceilings, breaking down doors” and being one of the most over talents both as a face and a heel on the main roster, the other women to follow her would not have seen the “revolution.” AJ Lee was a spark and a flame at the same time, while everything else would be the flame and the Four Horsewomen just burn exceptionally brightly especially because the women’s revolution was coined during their transition to the main roster. AJ also summed up the women’s division beautifully in her shoot promo on Total Bellas back in the summer of 2013. The women’s/divas division was shit for years and she was the hope and shining star that was needed to change things. She called it out and it showed that things were going to change.