step-nine

How to Learn Witchcraft

Step one - read some beginner witchcraft books.

Step two - do things explained in those books.

Step three - read more books. 

Step four - realize things in the books in step one were wrong.

Step five - do different things than in step two.

Step six - read more books.

Step seven - realizing, wait, no, things in step one might have been right but not fully explained.

Step eight - explore using different approaches to doing things.

Step nine - read more books.

Step ten - realize this is never going to stop. 

Guide to Shoplifting!

Hey, here for another guide to making sure you have a good haul next time you want to do some lifting!

STEP ONE: pick a store

STEP TWO: pick out whatever you want

STEP THREE: check to see if there’s any employees around

STEP FOUR: make sure you have everything you want

STEP FIVE: bring it to the check-out line

STEP SIX: strike up casual conversation with employee

STEP SEVEN: actually fucking pay for your shit instead of shoplifting

STEP EIGHT: tell the employee to have a wonderful day

STEP NINE: leave the store with your wonderful new item(s)

STEP TEN: don’t shoplift in the future either since you could get employees in serious trouble or even fired

Pro-tip!
Always remember, if you think that there is absolutely nothing wrong with shoplifting and that it won’t cause any problems for employees, especially when it comes to stealing $1,000+ in goods from a store, you’re full of shit!

Elementary Stills : 221b // Step Nine

Two hundred and twenty one b is my original sanctum sanctorum. It is the only aspect of my life in London I truly missed…two hundred and twenty one b is a good deal more than nice Watson. I spent the better part of ten years transforming it into a virtual womb of creativity, stepping inside it is not unlike stepping inside my very own brain. You will no doubt see things that will confuse or even upset you, odd experiments, texts in dead languages, trophies from old cases.

Man I was thinking about that “obese child” joke and I realized why it felt so weird. Usually when Sherlock makes a comment like that it’s the setup, so I was waiting for a punch line that never came. Like in “a giant gun filled with drugs” where he makes that joke about Joan’s period and jlm’s delivery is the exact same on that line as in “step nine” so when there wasn’t an equivalent to Joan’s “coaching it as a scientific observation doesn’t negate the misogyny”, the joke just felt incomplete.