We had a fucking fantastic weekend at Fred and Sarah’s place. It still seems crazy that I am now so attached to two people who I had never met before Thursday night. I knew Matt and Fred were bofyriends and madly in bro love, but other than that I didn’t go into this knowing much more than what we all know from their Tumblrs. However, from the moment they picked us up at the airport they were friendly, fun, loud, normal, welcoming, and awesome. Sarah brought me to her bridal party and bachelorette party, Fred cooked for me and yelled at me, the dogs attacked my face constantly with their tongues, and I got to see old and new friends who mean even more to me now. I’m going to shut up soon and just give you a few highlights:

  • Fred & Sarah’s cooking and baking
  • Dog heaven
  • winning the “Who Knows Sarah Best” game at the bridal shower 24 hours after meeting Sarah 
  • telling a poop story at the (tea party) bridal shower to a dead silent reaction from the other guests
  • Sarah’s dad and the frozen shark
  • going out to bars in only a twin bed sheet and a belt
  • drunk passing out in bed with Sarah
  • “I think Erika is going to steal our dog”
  • beating Matt at Mel-burger-eating
  • whipped cream vodka and cheap bourbon
  • kolachis
  • Mac sleeping in the driveway
  • a very special beer run

Anyway, totally gay for these people and this was terribly uninteresting for anyone who wasn’t there this weekend. SORRY I’M NOT SORRY. 

I’m sick. I look like a douche in this picture and always. I miss my girlfriend. The Rock is on TV and that makes me happy (“Winners go home and fuck the prom queen”). I get to visit Fred and Sarah in a couple weeks with Erika, Steffy, Jacob (in spirit), Kris, Cocksman, and maybe Azzman and others and that makes me even happier. Flu medicine and bourbon are a good mix, right? Chest hair.