steal the lamp

recently this dude in my tech class got suspended for 10 days because he tried to steal a lamp from one of the teachers and gave a girl a card that read “roses are red, violets are blue, if I shot up the school, I wouldnt shoot you”. this guy is infamous due to him being so fucking weird and annoying… he was joking but the girls parents found it. he also got suspended 2 times earlier this year, one of them for selling computer parts on school grounds. one time he was on craigslist and just looking at dudes dicks… during class… and tried to make me n my friends look… hes not fun to be around

Not Unless You Wish It, Ch. 6

Robin, still recovering from the death of his wife, mistakenly steals a lamp from the King and releases the genie trapped inside. A woman. A stunning, captivating, and heartbroken woman. He vows to help her escape her prison and find happiness, not knowing that his own is closer than he realizes.

Stable Queen + Outlaw Maiden flashbacks. 

Previous chapters

ff.net


It felt like waking up from a deep slumber. From a curse. Like he’d been asleep for years without knowing it. Like he couldn’t see anything, couldn’t see his life unfold and go on without waiting for him to catch up. All he knew was everyone else kept on living and he was trapped, waiting for transport to take him where he needed to go. He couldn’t focus on the words, all he heard was noise, sharp ringing noise, muffled screams that pushed him forward. And he went, without thought or direction. He survived.

But now his eyes were wide open. He could see and hear and breathe again. And what he saw was his son running around the camp trying to dodge a mythical monster. He saw him dancing late in the evenings when the wine found his men fancying themselves musicians. He heard his honeyed laugh. His sweet voice begging for stories of his father’s scariest heists. He felt his son’s hand in his when he walked him to Regina’s tent. And his arms around his neck before each goodnight.

It had taken a few weeks, but he was now a father in more than just name. And blessedly, his son seemed to view him as such too. He was eager to share his meals with him, to go with him to redistribute stolen wealth to the neighbouring villages (seeing the people praising Robin certainly went a long way to earning Roland’s trust and affection), to help him knit his clothes (he had become a promising student under Granny’s tutelage and took great pleasure in watching Robin try and follow Tuck’s instructions).

When his bedtime came, Roland would ask about his mother. How Robin had met her, how they’d fallen in love, how much they’d wanted him. How she’d died.

Such tales deserved retelling, so she could stay alive in them if not otherwise.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

#13 With Derek, Scott Issac and Stiles?

Thank you for requesting and I hope you like it!

Originally posted by itsbecauseteenwolf

Originally posted by dylanmysunshine

Originally posted by fuck-feelings-brah

Reader x Derek Hale, Scott McCall and Issac Lahey and Stiles Stilisnki

Prompt:

13. “You’re bleeding all over my carpet.”

Warning: yeah, mostly blood as suggested by the prompt with minor swearing


You woke up startled in the middle of the night by weird sounds coming from your living room. You didn’t turn on the light on the nightstand to not alert the intruder that you were awake, instead, you silently got out of bed and grabbed your wooden bat from underneath it, slowly making your way to the living room, ready to swing your weapon on whoever thought about stealing from the wrong person.

The lamp next to the couch was switched on, a dim light illuminating the four guys in your apartment. When you saw who broke in, you sighed both in annoyance and relief while lowering you bat. “You’re bleeding all over my carpet.” Your calm voice startled Stiles, who shrieked like a little boy in fright.

“Who were you going to beat with that?” Stiles pointed at the bat in your hands.

“Now that you make me think about it, you! Why the hell did you break into my apartment in the middle of the night?! Couldn’t you have called first?” You weren’t mad, just annoyed that they had interrupted your dreaming of a wonderful long vacation.

Derek, Isaac and Scott were hurt pretty badly, with deep wounds all over them, and Stiles was the only one in good shape, apparently, just a little bit of dirt on his clothes and hands.

“Sorry…” Apologized Scott, almost out of breath, right hand on a bloody spot on his belly.

“Yeah, we thought that maybe you could stitch us up?” Isaac spoke, holding his left arm as if it were broken in some places.

Derek didn’t really know what to say, he knew right from the start that it was a bad idea, and you didn’t get along very well. “I’ll buy you a new one.” He offered you with a shrug, indicating the bloodstained carpet below his feet.

“I will stitch you up, but why didn’t you ask Melissa?” You were a young nurse and worked at the hospital with Scott’s mother, and you found it strange that they didn’t go to her first.

“Couldn’t go to my mom without a valid explanation.” Replied Scott. “And she’d kinda ground us for the rest of our lives.”

“Not me, I’m too old for that stuff.” Derek sneered, but when he noticed the death glare that you sent him, he eyerolled tiredly. “Yeah, never mind, she’s gonna ground me anyway.” He referred to you.

“Bet your ass I will.”

anonymous asked:

Imagine Roger Waters sneaking into your house, stealing all your lamps and pencils, leaving behind half of his bass.

“What is my perfect crime? I break into Tiffany’s at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No, I go for the chandelier. It’s priceless. As I’m taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It’s her father’s business. She’s Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning, the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico, but I go to Canada. I don’t trust her. Besides, I like the cold. Thirty years later, I get a postcard. I have a son and he’s the chief of police. This is where the story gets interesting. I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris by the Trocadero. She’s been waiting for me all these years. She’s never taken another lover. I don’t care. I don’t show up. I go to Berlin. That’s where I stashed the chandelier.”

- Roger Waters (1985)

7

Because no one’s done it yet, I thought it was time we had a Princess appreciation post for Jasmine.

First off, her story isn’t about not wanting to marry. Sure her story revolves around being forced into marriage, but it isn’t what she really wants. She says she’s never been outside the palace walls, that she’s told how to speak and how to dress and she’s being forced to get married on top of it all. Jasmine doesn’t want to stay single, she longs for the freedom to make her own decisions and be her own person. She’s playful and sassy and says what’s on her mind rather than being submissive because she wants to be heard. And that’s why her ending is so important, because the boy she chose came from the ends of the earth and battled an all powerful dark sorcerer just to save her, even if he couldn’t legally marry her, even when he could have backed out and left them. And her father sees that she’s right, that maybe she doesn’t need a prince to be better off, and it ends with Jasmine choosing Aladdin.

And let’s talk about how progressive she is? Because I love how on a site like this people still call her the “slutty princess”. Jasmine speaks her mind, she fights laws and social norms she knows are hypocritical and wrong, and she stands up for herself. She knows how sexist the law is that she has to marry a prince, and she rebels. Instead of doing what everyone tells her to, she wears what she likes, says what she wants, and does whatever she can to live her life in the restrictive environment she’s forced to live in, and that’s why she ran away: Because she reached a point where she couldn’t live in the palace and be herself anymore. Which brings up another thing:

She is so wonderfully flawed. Jasmine’s stubborn, sarcastic, she jumps to conclusions, and she does things without thinking. She sees Ali is another jerk and refuses to speak with him, and after A Whole New World she snaps at him for lying to her. It doesn’t matter if they sang, she still thinks he’s only after her money or her power and she’s not afraid to let him know what’s up. And let’s talk about the fact she continuously defies Jafar after he steals the lamp. Because even knowing he could kill her or hurt her father or destroy the kingdom, she defies him even though it’s a poor move. Or how about when she runs away? Because wow, how irresponsible do you have to be if you’re going to leave your kingdom without someone to keep the line going? Let’s face it, if she hadn’t gone back Jafar would be Sultan within the week.

But despite that she’s still compassionate, girly, kind and gracious, caring and headstrong, brave and good. She’s flawed and selfish but she’s still a good character, and above all the idea that you should fight for your right to live your life for yourself and make your own choices is still one I think everyone can get behind.

tl;dr Jasmine’s not just the stereotypical one-dimensional princess she’s advertised as and deserves more respect for sticking up for herself.

I’m a moth witch! I stay up all night and they often visit my window~ I saved a moth from drowning in a pool too so I dunno, I have tender feelies for moths. For my magic powers they could whisper the secrets of the night to me Gandalf style, and they could steal some light from lamps for me and accompany me on my secret night time walks.

P.S. Here’s my witchsona from last year! 

http://brianasalcedo.tumblr.com/post/75806512910/witchsona-i-made-a-witchsona-id-cast-silly

First, here’s the logline for the winter finale: “When she learns that our heroes possess a weapon capable of defeating her, the Evil Queen steals Aladdin’s magic lamp from Jasmine and makes a wish that could sideline the Savior forever. Unwilling to wake Snow while Emma is missing, David works with Hook and Henry to hold the Evil Queen at bay in Storybrooke as Regina goes on a rogue rescue mission. Meanwhile, Gold and Belle face a surprising danger to their newborn son.

Executive producers Adam Horowitz and Edward Kitsis also provided this tantalizing tease about what’s in store: “In a season that’s seen a returning Evil Queen, a Savior in crisis, and a renegade genie all facing a dire prophecy, hope returns to Storybrooke in the form of a magical wish,” the OUAT bosses tell EW. “But of course, like all magic, it comes with a price — and this price upends the world of all of our fairy tale heroes and villains as they are thrown into an adventure involving new worlds, old loves, and an impending destiny that can no longer be ignored.” Ruh-roh!

(EW)

creepykittennn  asked:

Petty: one of the people I work with hates me for whatever reason. So we had our work Christmas party last weekend and did secret Santa and overheard her say she was gonna steal a lava lamp from someone during her turn. But I was before her, so i took it. The look on her face was worth it fully... Especially considering I already have 4 lava lamps at home I'm trying to get rid of

this is my favourite one so far tbh bc it’s slightly innocent and just so #me. also why do u have so many lava lamps

‘Wish You Were Here’ - Press Release

“Wish You Were Here” — When she learns that our heroes possess a weapon capable of defeating her, the Evil Queen steals Aladdin’s magic lamp from Jasmine and makes a wish that could sideline the Savior forever. Unwilling to wake Snow while Emma is missing, David works with Hook and Henry to hold the Evil Queen at bay in Storybrooke, as Regina goes on a rogue rescue mission. Meanwhile, Gold and Belle face a surprising danger to their newborn son, on the winter finale of “Once Upon a Time,” SUNDAY, DECEMBER 4 (8:00–9:00 p.m. EST), on the ABC Television Network.

“Once Upon a Time” stars Ginnifer Goodwin as Snow White/Mary Margaret, Jennifer Morrison as Emma Swan, Lana Parrilla as the Evil Queen/Regina, Josh Dallas as Prince Charming/David, Emilie de Ravin as Belle, Colin O’Donoghue as Hook, Jared S. Gilmore as Henry Mills, Rebecca Mader as the Wicked Witch/Zelena and Robert Carlyle as Rumplestiltskin/Mr. Gold.

Guest starring are Lee Arenberg as Leroy/Grumpy, Keegan Connor Tracy as Mother Superior/Blue Fairy, Beverley Elliott as Granny, Karen David as Princess Jasmine, Deniz Akdeniz as Aladdin, Gabe Khouth as Mr. Clark/Sneezy, David Avalon as Doc, Faustino Di Bauda as Sleepy, Mig Macario as Bashful, Geoff Gustafson as Stealthy and Giles Matthey as Gideon.

“Wish You Were Here” was written by Edward Kitsis & Adam Horowitz and directed by Ron Underwood.

The Wish

This is a combination of prompts from holysmoaksoliver and you-broughtmehome

AO3

“What is he even fighting with right now?!” Eve shouted just as she punched another ninja, where they really ninjas?, in the face before turning to block an attack from another.

“I’m pretty sure,” Jake replied while dodging a punch from his foe, “It’s a crowbar.”

“How-where’d he get it?!”

“I have no idea.”

Colonel Baird and Jake Stone were currently fighting their way toward a dais that was occupied by Flynn Carsen, who was in the middle of a duel with Lamia, and Ezekiel Jones, resident thief who had been caught by a Jinn while attempting to steal said Jinn’s lamp.

From what they could gather, the Serpent Brotherhood was planning to perform a ritual to enter The City of Bronze so they could pull whatever power they could from the magical realm. And of course, the key ingredient was a jinn.

Keep reading

threadsketchy:

YOU KNOW WHAT I REMEMBERED THO?  (Because of your BAMF meta, LOL.)

Sorry to kind of totally change the subject here, but it hit me this afternoon that while Luke repeatedly shows way, way more respect to droids than nearly everyone else - Threepio, Artoo, and even Two-OneBee - treating them like actual people instead of machines, and in ANH even though we do see one minor incident of him talking back to his guardians - his line, “Looks like I’m going nowhere” - it’s obvious that Luke does love and respect his aunt and uncle because he actually refuses Obi-Wan’s tantalizing offer of adventure - “I can’t get involved!” - because he knows he has a responsibility to his family first.  So yeah, in this respect he seems like a total cinnamon roll.

And then we get to Dagobah.

Okay.  Granted, Yoda was hamming it up acting like an obnoxious, kooky gremlin, something that would test anyone’s patience.  BUT.  Without knowing anything about him, true identity or otherwise, he’s still an obviously elderly being.  He’s annoying and makes a pest of himself and his soup tastes vile, but he takes a complete stranger into his humble abode, out of the pouring rain, and feeds him.

What does Luke do?  Act like a totally rude little turd.  He not only loses his temper, he even has the gall to throw the soup bowl to the floor, insulting his host’s generosity in the most arrogant way possible.  In that moment, he hasno respect for an elder, regardless of whether he’s really Yoda or not.

It’s…a pretty jarring thing to think about.  It’s easy to side with him because Yoda’s being so loopy, but…wow.  This is a scene where Luke’s actually being inconsiderate as hell, and…well, yeah, this is necessary as part of his character arc.  I’d just never quite stopped to focus and mull over this particular scene.  Heck yeah, I totally don’t blame Yoda for saying, “Much anger in him, like his father.”  No kidding.

He totally deserved to smack his noggin on that ceiling.

(Copied because I didn’t want to derail that post)

This was actually something I was meant to put in the meta but I forgot because it’s a really good point.  I LOVE that scene and the fact that Luke is acting really bratty and arrogant and thinks he knows everything.  This is actually the first of Yoda’s tests that he fails.  The key to being a Jedi, to be able to successfully stay in the light, is humility.  It’s not getting so self-important and uppity about your magic powers that you forget your role is to serve others, not rule over them.  Incidentally, this is something the old Order really struggled with towards the end, and I think Yoda appreciates that in hindsight.    

The test is to keep pushing Luke to see how he reacts to someone who seems harmless but is completely stymieing Luke’s progress.  Yoda is disruptive in the little camp - he throws things around, almost breaks equipment, steals his food and lamp.  Innocuous, maybe, but Luke’s still in a strange and potentially dangerous place and that behaviour is hella annoying.  But he relents, halfheartedly asking Yoda to move along and when he doesn’t just sighs in frustration and lets him have the lamp because it’s not worth the effort.

But that’s not enough - Yoda promises assistance and then keeps putting up roadblocks, pushing Luke further and further to see how far his patience will stretch.  It’s not far as it turns out, because Luke is half-convinced he imagined the whole Obi-Wan thing, and if its true he wants to start learning from Yoda right away, because it’s already been three years since Ben died and as much as he’s been able to teach himself it doesn’t make him a Jedi.  He’s not focused on the present and with being gracious to his host and guide, all he can think of is the future, and how to get there as quickly as possible.  

This one, a long time have I watched.  All his life as he looked away, to the future, to the horizon.  Never his mind on where he was.  What he was doing.”

I love this line of Yoda’s not only because it tells us that Yoda had some way of watching over Luke all those years, but that he immediately focuses in on Luke’s major flaw, which is his tendency to rush into things without thinking, flying by the seat of his pants and trusting that he’ll get through because he’s resourceful, skilled and actually pretty lucky.  He’s so focused on his goal that he misses the small details, and at this stage of his life, he has a drop of arrogance.  Oh, there’s Darth Vader, and Ben’s voice in my head is telling me to run?  KRIFF THAT I’M GONNA FIGHT HIM.  Out in the middle of snowy nowhere having completed my task when there’s a storm coming?  NAH THAT’S OKAY I WANT TO EXPLORE.  Get shot down and have to evacuate snowspeeder?  IM GOING TO TAKE DOWN THAT AT-AT BY MYSELF.           

I find this is an aspect of Luke’s characterisation that often gets forgotten about - I’m sure I’ve done it. I’ve written shy!Luke, socially inept!Luke, nerd!Luke etc. But a great force of Luke’s personality, particularly shown in ESB, is capable!Luke. He’s a Commander used to having (most) people follow his orders. He’s cocky, brash and sexy confident. He’s one of those people who just command attention by the force of their personality - in a different way than both Leia and Han do. Oh, he can fade into the background if he wants to, but when he wants to be Commander Skywalker, hotshot Rogue pilot? He can BRING IT.  

But that side of him needs to be controlled, it needs to be tempered, because his luck is going to run out (and it does, on Bespin.)  And he learns how to do that, because look how carefully planned Han’s rescue was, but still leaving him room to improvise.  He took a risk surrendering to Vader on Endor, but it wasn’t completely reckless - he knew exactly what he was going to say and how he wanted to get through to Anakin. 

Again, I think it’s about finding balance between those two sides of his personality - not just conquering his anger, but his reckless nature.  It starts on Dagobah, when Yoda shows him the mistake of pursuing something with blinders on, rather than taking into account everything that’s going on around him.  

2

Once Upon a Time winter finale: Why have the Charmings gone regal? — exclusive

Can the residents of Storybrooke stop the Evil Queen?

As revealed in EW’s exclusive first look photos from Once Upon a Time’s winter finale, the heroes have found themselves turning regal once again. Is this just a dream? Have they returned to the Enchanted Forest?! Or could that lamp discovered by Aladdin explain what’s going on?

First, here’s the logline for the winter finale: “When she learns that our heroes possess a weapon capable of defeating her, the Evil Queen steals Aladdin’s magic lamp from Jasmine and makes a wish that could sideline the Savior forever. Unwilling to wake Snow while Emma is missing, David works with Hook and Henry to hold the Evil Queen at bay in Storybrooke as Regina goes on a rogue rescue mission. Meanwhile, Gold and Belle face a surprising danger to their newborn son.”

Executive producers Adam Horowitz and Edward Kitsis also provided this tantalizing tease about what’s in store: “In a season that’s seen a returning Evil Queen, a Savior in crisis, and a renegade genie all facing a dire prophecy, hope returns to Storybrooke in the form of a magical wish,” the OUAT bosses tell EW. “But of course, like all magic, it comes with a price — and this price upends the world of all of our fairy tale heroes and villains as they are thrown into an adventure involving new worlds, old loves, and an impending destiny that can no longer be ignored.” Ruh-roh!

x