steal something

richie: self care is actually getting in fights with randoms in dark alleys

stan: no self care is taking a bubble bath or taking a nice warm nap and stuff like that

richie: self care is when you feel the bones crack under your powerful fists. self care is the fear in your enemies eyes

stan: self care is getting off the couch and brushing your teeth. it’s forcing yourself to go for a walk because you haven’t left of the house in like days. let’s not be cute here, it’s time to talk about real shit

richie: nothing is more real than the streets

anonymous asked:

Just like women, not all men are same I think you should be lesbian. bc when every-time a man will be kind and caring towards you, you'll think he's manipulating you. every-time he'll ask you for something you gonna think he's about to steal something from you. every-time he tries to kiss or hug you, it'll remind you of your horrible past when someone groped you. you should never end-up with a man. you deserve no man and no man deserves you. thank you and bye.

cool judgement. i’m straight and you don’t know anything about my life. but thanks for trying! have a nice day :)

Y'know i realize jokers appearance and personality, old timey jokester in a suit, was mostly accurate for the time he was created, maybe like a decade or two off, but never really changed….

So like, Imagine a modern joker who’s just as much of a goofball as 40’s - 66 joker but wears bright neon clothes from the 80’s and 90’s and has a more modern sense of humor. Like he’s still a clown but all of his crimes play out like shitposts, he robs taco bells at midnight, get’s everywhere on a pair of heelies and orchestrated the clown epidemic of 2016

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idk about you guys but I’d gladly join Griffin in the sewers over Animal Crossing Mobile being anything BUT an Animal Crossing game.

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The jacket origin story that no one asked for

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My rendition of this fic by @destieldrabblesdaily.

You should also definitely click to have better quality.

Signs as artist problems

Aries: “Can you draw me??”

Taurus: “You’ll never make a living like that!”

Gemini: Scared of ruining a brand new sketchbook

Cancer: Realising all the mistakes once you post the artwork

Leo: “Did you draw that?”

Virgo: “Can I have that drawing once you’re done?”

Libra: Becoming paranoid that people will steal your characters

Scorpio: Drawing something and not knowing what to do with the background

Sagittarius: Too broke for art supplies

Capricorn: So difficult to create a distinctive art style,,,

Aquarius: The sketch looks better than the lineart!11!!1

Pisces: Proud of a drawing you did late at night but hating it in the morning

Due to frequent thievery in the manor, Tim has taken to protecting his secret snack stashes with dye packs. If any of his family members try to steal his food they instead end up with faces and hands covered in bright, luminescent, pink. 

this morning i was thinking about the way, men, tend to play videogames, open world ones like tes are a good example. rather than existing in the world, they see the world as theirs. its for them, it at their whim

when men talk about killing npcs indiscriminately, because they annoyed them or literally just because. taking stuff from the world with reckless abandon. i literally felt bad for mining stalhrim because of its historic and cultural importance and stopped, lol.  joking about soultrapping vivec/almalexia in morrowind just because of the enchanting value of their souls. taking all the shit you want from a pretty place or someones house or something and leaving it empty. but most especially the killing npcs thing because of the Man Dude shit skyrim in particular attracted (not that it wasnt there before) because every time i hear a man talking about skyrim he mentions some character(s) he killed and im like…why? they didnt do anything? or like killing them just because they saw you steal or something…fucked up

Background: We’d just finished our first room in a dungeon and we enter a hall that contains a single peculiar gem sitting on a pedestal. Because our rogue’s one flaw is he must steal something valuable the moment he sees it, he immediately attempts to investigate. The rogue rolls a nat. 1

DM: It’s a pretty stone.

Cleric (also the rogues brother): Can I do an arcane check?

DM: Go for it

(Cleric rolls 19)

DM: Upon studying the stone, you realize it possesses the unique ability to channel lightning while attacking.

(Cleric turns to the Rogue)

Cleric: It’s completely worthless brother

DM: Roll a deception check

(Cleric rolls nat 20)

DM: You believe him.

(Cleric successfully deceives our rogue and pockets the gem)

Bonus:

Later on while we are fighting some fish monsters, our Cleric rolls a nat 20 on an attack and the gem in his pocket releases an uncontrollable force of lightning through his weapon.

Rogue: Gee brother, I’ve never seen you do that before. I wonder what could have recently come into your possession that would grant you such a unique ability.

(Cleric fails deception check)

Cleric: I….. lied

Rogue: I know where you sleep brother