steal salad

at lunch in the self checkout I accidentally rang up my salad as green beans which was ab $3 cheaper and in the 30 seconds it took to place the salad in the bag and pay and exit I experienced a complex cognitive dissonance wherein I felt pleased that I had gotten away with stealing the salad followed by guilty for stealing the salad followed by pleased by the anarchist action of stealing salad from a corporation followed by shame at the subversively inconspicuous (and therefore interpretable as cowardly) method of stealing the salad until I reached a final harmonizing rationalization wherein I felt a) pleased that I had saved money and b) excused from guilt since it had been an accident

Ok I’m all for criticizing America, but I’m really tired of people making fun of how America has “no culture” and just “steals from other cultures” like that’s the whole fucking point of the country. It’s people from other countries coming here and bringing culture with them. You don’t get mad at salad for “stealing lettuce’s culture” or “ripping off carrots and calling them yours”. America’s nickname is the melting pot. It’s a deeply flawed country, but to say it’s devoid of culture is vastly incorrect. It has every culture, just in small pieces.