steal from the worst

myawseomeuniverse  asked:

Does PJ like Widow Maker from OverWatch ? xD

((will temporarily use Paint for reaction sketches to asks - but yeah he doesn’t know what Overwatch or Widow Maker are))

Ohkura: OK, so, we can wait for jam to end and wait 35 minutes to hit the bar and drink ourselves dead like some kind of fools or
Nishi: Put the booze in the water bottle and playing the staying hydrated bitch game?
Ohkura: Put the booze in the water bottle and playing the staying hydrated bitch game.

Like I screamed at that cinema worker (and later the judge at my trial for disturbing the peace): Despicable Me is blatantly false advertising. It teaches you no real-life ways of stealing the Moon, which totally ruined my business plan. And you might be asking: Why would I watch Despicable Me for Moon-nabbing strategies? Also: Why would I want the Moon in the first place? In order: 1) The movie’s Polish title is How To Steal The Moon so I’m clearly in the right on this one. 2) Two words: Lunar Porn, motherfuckers. Not only would I corner the market, the movie titles basically write themselves: Houston, We Have A Boner, Apollo 11 Inches, One Giant Lick For Mankind, etc.

But even though the entire movie revolves around Gru, a supervillain voiced by Steve Carell, trying to steal the Moon, it doesn’t really go into the specifics of such an operation. All it says is: Steal a shrink ray (from where?!), fly to the Moon (how?!) 

Worst of all, the whole thing irresponsibly glosses over the dangers of having the shrunken Moon in Earth’s atmosphere, and it suddenly going back to its original size, exactly like in the movie finale. But where Despicable Me has failed, science stepped in to address that question, and the answer they came up with is: “Oh God, oh Jesus Almighty, they’re all dead! My whole family … so many bodies!”

5 Mass Deaths You Never Noticed Happened In Cartoons

Okay.

illustration © attack on titan: lost girls by seko hiroshi

a very merry late christmas to attackthekilljoy! ta-dah, i’m your secret santa. i wasn’t sure what you wanted, so i hope this graphic isn’t too disappointing. i hope you had a great holiday!

Boyfriend Simon Dominic.

Originally posted by 50shadesofgraylee

 - always being too over protective, cause “I know better what is good for you and what is not”

- freaking workaholic, loves his job almost as much as he loves  you.

- but always assure you, that you are his priority.

- easygoing but sore-head.

- hot as fuck when he is angry or jelous.

- hates losing and becomes extremly annoyed even when he can’t just pass the next level in “Mario”.

- you are the only person that can make him calm down only with your smile, cuddles and kisses.

- the most adorkable guy  when you are alone.

- treats you as a queen and praises you in front of his friends.

- smutty jokes is his hobby.

- sometimes he drives you crazy with his self-appreciation.

- allows you to wear short dresses, skirts and shorts only when he is around “What if somebody steal you from me? No way you can wear this dress.”

- the worst idea ever to make him jelous, cause he gonna remind you about that guy from the bar who approached you but was brushed off at once. 

- never shows this in public but you can see this by the change of his mood, and that means that you must be prepared for an one hour lecture at home.

- this usually ends with a hot night of love.

- makes lovely short rap about you.

- you are the first to know about his working plans, songs and other stuff.

-adores when you trying to rap like him, but you usually messes up in the middle of verse.

- “I’m gonna sing a duet with you one day, when you not mess up my lirycs. So, practice, baby girl.” 

- never gave you a slight chance to jelous , because he wants you to be confident in your man.

- you are present on his every single concert, except times when you are too busy with your job.

- always worried about your family opinion and tries to show himself  as “your daughter best choice”.

 a/n: this thing was in my head for couple of days, I had to share this or else I would gone mad))) Hope you enjoy it!

Christmas Break at Finn’s ~ Part Nine ~ Wyatt Oleff x Reader


You were sat with Wyatt, Sophia and Jack. Jaeden, Finn and his mother had gone to pick up the boys and your mum and sister were shopping. Suddenly, you heard a key in the lock and the door open.

“Hola amigos!” You heard Finn shout, “We bought two more to join the party!”

Wyatt, Sophia and Jack jumped up and ran out into the hall. You were slow to follow since you were nervous. When you did go out there, it was a frenzy of hugs and greetings. Admittedly, you felt a little out of place.

“This must be Wyatt’s lady,” Chosen said with a massive smile, “From what I’ve heard he’s lucky.” Chosen then engulfed you in a hug
“Wow,” You smiled when he let you go, “I was never told how much of charmer you were. Wyatt better buck up his ideas.”
“Now now, Jacobs,” Wyatt came and hugged you from behind, “Steal Y/N and I’ll become your worst nightmare.”
“Step back, noodles. You wouldn’t dare.”
Wyatt turned you around and kissed you.
“I’ve been here for three minutes and I already want to throw up.”
You and Wyatt separated and saw Jeremy Ray Taylor standing there with a grin on his face.
“I’m Jeremy, nice to meet you.”
“Ditto.” He gave you a quick hug before going over to Jack

You were set to drive up to the mountains tonight. Chosen was old enough and had his license and so could you. Chosen was going to drive Finn’s mother’s car and you were driving Finn’s dad’s. It took a lot of persuading to get the adults to let you take the cars and go up to the manor on your own, but after a few days, they eventually came around. Wyatt took your hand and led you into the living room where everyone was taking seats. Jaeden and Sophia went to make drinks.

“So,” Chosen said, “What have we missed?”
“Not a lot,” replied Jack, “Just Y/N and Wyatt sucking face. Oh, and Jae and Sophia got together, so it’s been love central here the past week. Believe me, it’s been sickening.”
“Jack,” You said with an eye roll, “You’re just jealous.”

You pulled into the driveway of the log house with a huge smile on your face. It wasn’t the first and you knew it wouldn’t be the last. Wyatt was sat in the front of the car with you and had his hand on your thigh. Finn, Jack and Jaeden were in the car with you and the others were with Chosen. When you cut the engine, everyone clambered out of the car and got their bags out. Jeremy already had his bag and was walking up the path with the keys in his hand. The house was very impressive. It looked so inviting.

“Come on guys!” Jeremy shouted from the doorway, “I’ll start a fire while you pick your rooms!”

Excitedly, everyone made their way into the house. You and Chosen locked the cars and walked in together, talking about each other. It was nice to know that you were going to get along. When you walked into the house, you closed the double doors and set your bags down and looked up. There was a huge spiral staircase leading up to the second floor. The whole of the ground floor was open plan. You could see the kitchen, dining and living area and through to the garden. It was beautiful. Jeremy and Jaeden were crouched by the fire trying to get it to light.

“Come on,” Wyatt said grabbing your arm, let’s go pick our room before everyone else.“
"Good idea.”

The two of you grabbed your bags and began making your way up the spiral staircase. Wyatt opened the first door on the landing and saw a beautiful double room with an amazing view.

“This is it.”
“What about the others, Wy? This house is huge.”
“Screw the others, I like this one.”
“Yes but what i’m trying to say is that you haven’t seen any of the others yet so how can you make a decision?”

Suddenly you heard thundering footsteps coming up the staircase and Sophia and Jaeden claiming the room next to you.
“I don’t think there’s going to be any others left to choose from now.” Wyatt grinned

You gave Wyatt a quick kiss on the lips and made your way back downstairs to look around. The fire was blazing in the hearth and the kettle was brewing. Jeremy was also putting pizzas into the large oven in the kitchen. He was smiling.

“Hey, Jeremy.” You said, propping yourself up on the kitchen counter
“Oh hey, Y/N. Did you and Wyatt pick a room?” He winked and you rolled your eyes with a grin
“We did. Thank you so much for letting us all come up here. Especially me. I know you don’t really know me that well.”
“Well, we can change that this weekend. And I’m glad you’ve all come up with me. I love staying here and I’m sure you all will too.”
“I think you might be right, this place is insanely gorgeous.”
“I suppose it is.” Jeremy began pouring the tea and you went over to get the milk from the fridge, “So, you and Wyatt, huh?”
“Yeah. Me and Wyatt.”
“Do you like him?”
“Yeah, I do. I think we’re going to be together a long time.”
“What about the distance?”
“Well, we’re sixteen, so in a couple of years we can go somewhere, unpack our bags, and never leave. We could go to college in the same city and travel together when he has movies to film.”
“So you have it all worked out?” Jeremy looked happy for you
“I guess we do. I think I’m falling in love with him.” Jeremy raised his eyebrows and handed you the milk to put back, “Sorry if I overshared.”
“Don’t worry. We’re friends, it’s what I’m here for.”

Jack came rushing down the stairs with his swimming trunks over his arm, smiling like a madman.

“So when do we get to try out the massive hot tub I’ve seen out the back?!”
“Fucking hell, Grazer,” You laughed, “Slow down. We just got here. We’ll have dinner first and then go out there.”
“Fine. I am starved.”
“You always are.”

The others came down and over to the three of you. Finn came and hugged you. He looked so genuinely happy. It made your heart melt. 

This weekend was going to be phenomenal.
~

A/N: Part freaking nine? I cannot believe how long this story is becoming! Thanks to everyone who comes back time and time again for my writing! It means the world to me. And if you’ve been here since part one, congratulations because I’m really dragging this out.

Taglist:

@fandomblitch
@pastel-hauntings
@dauntless-initiate-hola
@horsiesandstuff
@gryffinclaw-marauder
@wificrazymisfit
@fcnnwolfhard
@spidey-darling
@philyylester
@lexirnichols0520
@memewolffhard
@queenbeverlytozier
@djisprobablydead
@huggingholland
@hannahthek
@tbhwolfhard
@dancerslovelife
@1angel-of-the-lord1
@spikeydolan
@mallorymint
@maazewolf
@goawayjules
@miza-spins-dat-pizza
@rosiexix

10

Sofia:“ Hello Mr: Cedric”

Cedric:“ Oh what are you doing here?”

Sofia:“I’m really mad at you. You lied to me, you tried to steal from me, but the worst thing you did…”

Cedric:“ I know, I know I tried to take over the kingdom.”

Sofia:“ No, the worst thing you did was saying we weren’t friends”

Sofia is right who cares about the Kingdom he broke her heart for goodness sake! I’m glad he redeemed himself for good this time!

it was kind of painfull to see Cedric behind bars, he looked so sad and remorseful! ( I was also surprised that he can play the harmonica so well)

amor proibido iii

Special thanks to @mercyonmendes for writing the Shawn blurb!

Get me out of my mind and get you out of those clothes - Fall Out Boy

Deep breath. I can do this. I have done nothing wrong at this point. Everything is good. My life is absolutely fucking amazing.

I can have this conversation with the man I am going to be marrying and not let on some kid tried to kiss me. Okay, he is not just some kid now…but whatever. I have a fiance and I love him. End of story.

I sit down on the edge of the bed, running a hand over my face and listening to Landon go on and on about his day. He is telling me about how hard his job is working at his dad’s company where he pretty much does nothing all day and how shitty his night was because he had to come home alone to an empty house because of my fucking job stealing me away from the worst time. Yet again, it is another ten minutes of listening to him talk only about himself and not even ask me about everything major. Even though he knows how much of a big deal this article is, Landon will always be more important than me. 

“Listen…” I say, trying to let on how much stress I am under from this shit show of my life. “I will call you tomorrow because I am exhausted. I just want to crawl into bed and fall asleep.”

Landon says, “I don’t like having to sleep when you aren’t next to me. What am I supposed to do when I want someone to make my dick hard?”

I think he thinks it is sexy, but I just find it annoying. I would never let on so I say, “Just know I am thinking of you, babe.” It is partially true. “I will be home in a few days and we can more than make up for any lost time, okay?”

“I love you, talk to you soon, sweetheart.”

“You too,” I reply, ending the call and lying back.

There is now a special place in hell for me. 


My phone chirps with a text early the next morning Concert day.

It is from an unknown number, but it must be someone related to this whole debacle because otherwise I am going to think there is someone stalking me. And trust me, I am not worth anyone’s time at all. In fact, I am a rather shitty person. Last night was the perfect case in point. 

I could just ignore the text because I have a lot of work to do in starting my article. I am going to be spending most of my day writing and planning because I have to attend this concert tonight as well. I have to write about the concert and still do one more interview with him tomorrow. Then I will be able to go home the day after and act like he never kissed me. It was just a stupid kiss, and I pushed him away. It means nothing at all. 

Who is this? I type back, sitting up in bed and debating about whether or not I want to make the trip down to have some kind of food or just have it delivered. I mean, work is going to pay for it but I don’t even know what I would choose.

A picture of a sleepy eyed Shawn appears on my screen, his hair askew and his lids half closed. 

Holy fuck. 

What the fuck is this kid doing? He has no reason to be texting me. I could ask how he got my number, but I am sure he has his ways since he is fucking famous. Also, why am I like half turned on by a photo of him lying in bed? There is something very wrong with me, and I am going to be atoning for these thoughts for a very long time.

I throw my phone down, deciding to take a shower and get dressed. Maybe he will get the hint if I don’t say anything. He is trying to get under my skin, but I need him to be as distant as possible. I have a fiance, and I have a life. This is going to be good for me as long as I don’t mess it up, but Shawn is making it so fucking hard.

Returning to my phone, I see two messages.

You don’t seem pleased to know I have your number.

I am not going to apologize for kissing you.

Fuck my life.

This is my fucking job, and I don’t have time for some fucking kid to think it is okay to mess with me as a joke. I am not interested in you. Please stop.

Oh, my god. I am such a fucking liar.

I bet you look beautiful in the morning.

FUCK. He is trying to be sweet. Okay, deep breath. He is just full shit and trying to get you to sleep with him. There is nothing genuine about his words, right?

You are so full of shit. No wonder your eyes are so brown.

So you noticed my eyes? Yours are gorgeous. You are gorgeous. I’ll see you tonight at the concert, yeah?

Go fuck yourself. It’s my job. That’s all. 

I want to fuck you. Tonight.

Holy shit. What the fuck is my life even?


Shawn

Sitting on the edge of the bed in my hotel room, I mindlessly strummed my guitar as I gazed out at the city and wallowed in my own frustration. I wasn’t even sure why I was frustrated. 

Her evident frustration was justified: I was an arrogant, irritating little prick to her. I also wasn’t sure why I did that either. It had been such a habit to crank up the sexually heated charm that it had now become second nature to me whether I wanted it to or not. But hey, I am still essentially a teenage guy. This was normal, right? 

 A heavy sigh escaped my lungs and I ran a hand through my hair, tugging at the ends in confusion. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t focus my mind on anything but her. Meeting attractive girls every day was a job requirement so obviously I was struck by some of them. Again, reiterating the hormonal teen part. But she was different. Could it be because she was an older woman? I did have a thing for that. God, do I have mommy issues? Is that even a thing? I cut off my own incessant rambling thoughts with a loud groan which prompted Geoff to bang on the adjoining wall and mutter something crude. Ignoring him, I loudly strummed the opening chords for Roses that I had just written down and released my pent up disgruntlement in the only way I knew how. I sang.


The concert is insane. The crowd is enormous, and Shawn seems more than ready. Looking from backstage, I can see the people waiting for the show to begin. It must be one of most exhilarating sensations in the world to be able to perform in front of so many. It reminds of how one day I would love for to be a writer everyone is reading. This is my first step there. A good beginning. There is the chaos of setting up the show and everyone making sure everything is perfect. Trying to stay out of the way, I roam back to Shawn’s dressing room.

Instead of finding his normal posse, he is just sitting there alone with his guitar. He looks otherworldly, just strumming softly and singing the words in his head. It has to be one of the most attractive things I have ever seen in a man. Not that he is a man… he is just a boy and…

“Can I ask you a few more questions before the shows starts, Shawn?” I ask, stepping towards him and breaking his concentration.

He looks up at me with a smile, placing the guitar down beside him. “Sure, why not,” he says.

I hesitantly sit down at a chair somewhat far away from him and tap my fingers on my knee. I don’t know why I wore this black dress because it’s way too short and too tight around my breasts. Then again, Landon was always telling me not to wear it so maybe this is my subtle fuck you to him. I know I look amazing. He just wants to fucking control me. 

“Do you have a favorite concert venue?” I ask, inwardly groaning at my shitty questions. Shawn is making me flustered to the point where I can’t even do my job properly. What I need is to have a few drinks during the concert so I can calm down and just forget about all of this weird tension we have going on. He has to know he is making me crazy. It is like he is doing it on purpose, trying to fuck with me and get me to notice him.

“I can’t hear you,” he says, leaning forward. His hair is perfectly done in messy perfection and he is wearing a charcoal button up shirt with the sleeves rolled up and black skinny jeans, his shoes are brand new all black Chucks. He looks fucking amazing. Not that I would tell him. And I probably should not be noticing?!

“You can hear me just fine,” I say and cross my arms over my chest, trying to cover my cleavage. However, it seems to make them more perky. Fuck. “Just answer my questions so you can play your damn show and this can all just be over for us, okay?”

Shawn raises an eyebrow. “Why do you hate me so much?”

“I don’t hate you, I just…”

“You just what?” he echoes, searching for answer I don’t fucking have.

This was just supposed to be a career maker. Not suddenly make me fucking confused about my entire life. He is a fucking teenager. I am a grown woman. He probably is reminded of his mom when he looks at me, there is no way he could be attracted to me. This is just a job I need to do so I can return to my life. My life where I have a fiance and a house and a job and all of these adult things. I am not someone who plays music all over the world and has this amazing, fun life all the fucking time. 

“Nothing.” I pause. “I don’t hate you. I don’t feel anything for you.” Lies. “This is just my job, and I want to do it well. This article is important to the both of us. You want to look good, and I am hoping this is going to help me be able to write more important stories.”

“You don’t look happy when you talk about your job,” Shawn says off handedly, like he can just see into my soul no big deal at all. “I don’t see the passion you are supposed to have. I am sure you have a passion for writing, but what do you really want?”

I don’t remember the last time anyone has asked what I wanted. It catches me off guard. “What.. what do you mean?”

“What do you want?” Shawn repeats, getting up and walking over to me. He looks down at me, waiting.

Without another word, I rise and look at him. “I want to be happy.”

“I am going on stage soon,” he whispers against my neck, tracing his lips along the curve and stopping right below my ear. His hands are moving lower than my waist now, lazily venturing towards his favorite place.

I try not to shiver at the sensation of his breath against my skin, but I feel those chills up and down my spine. He knows it too because there is a smirk on his face as he slowly slips his hand up my thigh, moving beneath my dress and locks his eyes with mine as though daring me to protest. I can already feel the moisture building between my legs and he hasn’t even touched me yet.

Gnawing my cheek to keep from alerting him about the status of my aching core, I just nod at him and keep my eyes on his. 

His hazel eyes bore into mine, anticipating something will happen soon. His lips ghost kisses beneath my ear before he delicately kisses the shell of my ear and whispers, “I am going to make sure you remember me while I am on stage.”

I just nod my head and arch my hips up to his hand, not quite sure how else I am supposed to behave while he seems to have rendered me speechless with just his touch and a few words strung together. It shows how well he can get beneath my skin, but it makes me wonder what he has in mind for me.

His hand slides down to my hip and he grips it tightly as he tilts my head so my lips are pressed against his, his kisses are deep and meaningful. He nibbles on my bottom lip eagerly, chuckling at his deviancy for a moment before I find myself completely melting into his advances.

I try to reach my hand out and slide it up his thigh, but he bats me away, stating, “I am in charge right now, and we are going to do what I say. Hands to yourself or else.”

It is hard for me to listen to him when there is this part of me that craves so badly to make him want me the way I tend to want him. I know he is turned on right now by the apparent bulge in his shorts. I want to run my hand up his leg and tease him, to feel his length in my hand and know I am the one who is able to make him so fucking hard. I want to do that more than anything else, but he cuts me off from that. Shawn has set up the parameters I am supposed to follow, but I am curious to know what could happen if I dare to break them. His fingers resume their journey, two of them pressing against the fabric of my lacy panties. He runs them over my clit, raising his eyebrow at me. Shawn adroit fingers skim over the damp area, and he tells me, “I made you so fucking wet, and I have barely even touched you.”

It is not something I want to admit out loud to him, but I adore the way he just tells me exactly how it is. The words coming from his mouth are so attractive and make me even wetter for him.

His thumb rubs my clit lazily, not trying to rush what he is planning. My hips buck up to meet his touch, and I still long to make him seem so desperate the way I am. Instead he gets to be all calm and collected while I am a total mess, which I do not think is very fair at all. “Shawn..I..” My hand stretches out to cup his erection, ready to alleviate the tension building between us.

He pauses for a moment, his eyes darkening as he stares down at my hand touching him. Shawn stops his motions, leaving me desperate for the finish. I can feel myself slowly getting closer, and he has just denied me the release. I want to grab his hand and force him to continue, or I could do it myself. But I find myself transfixed by his gaze as he takes my hand away and says to me, “And now you are going to have to learn your lesson the hard way. I warned you that you should not touch me. Hands to yourself was rather a simple command…” he sighs. “But now you are going to have to deal with the consequences of your actions.”

I expect him to take his hand away from me and say he is not going to allow me to experience any pleasure at all. It will be cruel, but I would not be surprise I want to kick myself for being so eager to touch him, but I could not help myself.  I fucked everything up. My hips begin to pull away from him, allowing him to pull his hand off. But he doesn’t do that.

Instead, he slides my dress up, sliding my panties off me with one hand, and tosses them on the floor. His index finger slips in between my folds, allowing him to feel more of the moisture he caused to grow from his actions. He moves his finger in and out of me for a moment before bringing it to his lips and gently licking it in front of me. “You taste so good,” he murmurs, “I. Want. More.”

There is no chance to speak before he has grabbed my legs and pulled my entire body towards him; he spreads my legs with his hand and guides my hips to his mouth.

His blue eyes gleam as he looks up at me before slowly taking his tongue and running it along my clit. He grips my thighs tightly, pushing them down onto the bed as he glances up at me with those hazel orbs while never taking his tongue off my wet center.

He takes one of his digits, sliding it inside of me and quickening the pace to match the movement of his tongue. I can feel my hips pressing towards him, small moans falling from my lips as I beg him to keep going. He nibbles my clit gently, using his fingers to probe on with his ministrations.

I can feel myself slowly getting closer to release as his tongue traces circles around my core, his own moans causing me to become even wetter. He removes his finger and brings it up to my mouth, instructing me with his eyes to lick it off for him. I take his finger between my lips and slowly suckle, hoping he is going to allow me to repay him soon.

“You are so beautiful,” Shawn whispers as she takes his finger back, now placing two inside of me. I can feel him going deeper, his knuckles brushing my folds and causing me to gasp at how intense he is causing me to feel. His mouth continues to tease my clit, lapping up the juices eagerly and making me feel as though I am going to completely lose it at any second. His fingers have found my g spot, carefully teasing it and causing me to gasp out his name. He has to know how unfair this is for me; I am feeling as though I am going to lose myself completely and he is just taking his sweet time. His tongue continues to flick at my clit greedily as my hips pump up against him from the combination of both mouth and hand.

“Shawn, please…” I beg, needing the overstimulation to stop. I need to release or I am just going to…

“Oh, so that is what you want, love?” he teases from between my thighs, slowly taking his mouth away from me.

I reach down to place his hand back to its previous position, but he raises his eyebrows at me and just repeats, “I told you twice about hands to yourself and now you don’t get to orgasm for me just yet.”

I stare at him dumbfounded as he takes his hand out of me and sits up for a moment, licking his fingers like a clever cat. His eyes flash with amusement as he sees the frustration furrow my brow, causing me to let out a groan. I close my legs, feeling the wetness dripping down my thighs and it makes me want to strangle him for being such a tease. There is nothing fair about bringing me so close and just stopping, but he seems utterly pleased with himself.

Just then, there is a knock on the door. “Shawn! Showtime!” 

He stands up, quickly wiping his face and looking at me. “Make sure you’re watching from backstage, I am sure you won’t be able to stop thinking of me.” He raises an eyebrow again before he leaves with guitar, leaving me standing there with trembling thighs and no panties on.


Standing stage side to Shawn is one of the best experiences I’ve had in a long time. He is pure talent and he has so much stage presence.  He just shines with the guitar and his voice is beautiful. It is hard to deny he is doing what makes him happy. But it brings up all of the thoughts running through my own mind right now. 

I have a fiance. And we are getting married in a month. Yet, I let Shawn…

Oh, my fucking god. What have I done?! This is the worst thing I have done yet, when everyone find out I am going to lose my job and be labelled a slut. Because Shawn is famous. And a man. he will be forgiven because boys will be boys. But I should know better because I am supposed to be a lady. Fucking double standards. Fuck society.

He has been looking at me all night too. The most intense eye contact in the world. I can feel his eyes on me no matter and that stupid smirk is glued onto his fucking face. I blush every time he looks at me because well… there is no way I am going to think of him as a kid any longer. He is a man who has given me the best head I have ever had. Because Landon thinks it’s only for “sepcial occasions”. Fuck that. Shawn seems like he would ravage the fuck out of me with that mouth all the time, ad I just…. I need to stop because this has already gone too far. He is just a kid, and I have a fiance. Nothing else can happen between us. 

“This song is for a very special person…” Shawn says, once again with the fucking intense eye contact. “It’s called “Roses.” “

And I have to be honest with you baby
Tell me If I’m wrong, and this is crazy
But I got you this rose
And I need to know
Will you let it die or let it grow?
Die or let it go?

Oh. My heart… what is happening? I barely know him. There is no way I am falling for Shawn Mendes. 

Right?

Will you let it die or let it grow?

He looks at me as the song finishes, and I realize my heart may slowly finding its way to unexpected happiness.

How the fuck am I going to tell him the truth now?

Avengers Headcanon-Adopting a Street Urchin

Original request:  Preference for the Avengers taking in a homeless and orphaned kid with a knack for stealing. Like this kid picked their pockets and none of them realized it until AFTER the kid was just disappearing from view….

  • Tony is the kid’s first victim.
    • He’s out walking to get a coffee from his favorite coffee shop after a long day of dealing with the rest of the Avengers. 
    • He doesn’t notice anything is amiss until he reaches in his back pocket to grab his wallet only to find it missing. 
    • And he knows that it didn’t fall out because his pockets are deep and his wallet can’t just fall out. 
    • It doesn’t concern him too badly though. He just cancels all the cards that were in the wallet and keeps an eye on his accounts to make sure no one got the information.
    • He decides not to tell anyone because to him it’s not important. 
  • The next person is Steve. 
    • Generally he doesn’t walk around with anything more than a few emergency dollars. Especially if he’s just on a walk. 
    • The day his money gets swiped he’s running through one of his favorite parks early in the morning. He feels a tug on his pants, but he doesn’t pay attention to it assuming it was just a branch getting caught. 
    • However, when he get’s back to Avenger’s Tower he notices that the twenty dollar bill that he was positive he stuck in one of his pockets is missing. 
    • He assumes it just fell out while he was running, so he doesn’t say anything about it and moves on with his day. 
  • After two easy successes the kid finally chooses the worst person to steal from. 
    • Natasha doesn’t normally walk through New York without a purpose so it’s very dangerous to distract her. 
    • She’s also hyper aware of her surroundings and it’s impossible to pickpocket her. 
    • As soon as the kid starts following her suspiciously close she’s onto the scheme. 
    • The kid has hardly touched the fabric of her pants when she whips around and grabs the kid’s arm. 
    • “Have you been pickpocketing for very long.” She asks in a menacingly calm voice. 
    • The kid very quickly nods, terrified of this woman who still hasn’t let go. 
  • Natasha drags the kid back to the tower and makes them apologize to all of the Avengers whose money mysteriously went missing. 
    • She thinks its a good way of discouraging the kid without being overly threatening. 
    • However, before the kid can even say the first apology they start balling. 
    • Natasha thinks that they’re faking it, but Steve thinks that something else is going on. 
    • While everyone else watches in confusion, Steve kneels down next to the kid and starts asking questions in a quiet voice. 
  • Eventually he finds out that the kid is homeless and learned to pickpocket to survive and buy food. 
    • For some of the Avengers the sight of the kid sobbing so hard they’re dry heaving is enough to convince them that they need to help. Steve, Bruce, Bucky, and Thor all think that they should try and help the kid.
    • The others are less convinced immediately and it takes a couple of hours of being around the kid for them to accept the fact that maybe this kid wasn’t acting just to mooch of off them. Clint and Natasha are both naturally skeptical while Tony is cautious only because people have used him for his money before. Wanda and Pietro are both suspicious because crying and sobbing was the kind of thing they were forced to do to gain pity from people to survive. 

Keep reading

So I work at WcRonalds for overnight shifts. The drive thru is 24hrs. Every night at 2AM we go into ‘manual mode’, which is when we restart our computers and start writing down orders and hand calculating everything, which means it’s cash only. Last night 7/18 we got a bit of rush. There was this couple that order like $30 worth of food so it took a few minutes before we got them on their way.
About a half hour later they’re back. They didn’t bother stopping at the speakers to talk to me, just came to the last window and honked until I noticed them. Once I did, they told me one of their large fries had been stale and the bread on their quarter pounder was stale too. Okay. Usually it’d be no problem to give them a replacement, but these guys had eaten half the fries and had maybe two bites left of the sandwich. So I told them no, because they had already eaten the food. They started complaining and took down my name and had me grab my manager, who gave it to them because she didn’t want the deal with it of corporate got involved. The customers wanted a receipt but it’s manual mode so. There is no receipt. They wanted us to hand write it but I was like no. Because they can just write it themselves if they really want to, it’s not my job.
Then that night I came in for another shift. Found out the woman had called asking for a refund. She said she wasn’t satisfied with the replacement food because she’s worked fast food and she knows people mess with the food when it has to be replaced (like no?? Who would do that??). She complained about me being stupid and how it was illegal to not give out a receipt. My manager refused to give her a refund but she said she would try with another manager.
Some customers are just the worst. She’s basically stealing from us.

anonymous asked:

For the OC dating ask: Alex, from Seattle Bites. Or, if Alex has already been discussed, Seattle Bites WILDCARD!

Pros Of Dating Alex:

  • Is a Morning Person ™ who is really dedicated to the concept of breakfast, so you get breakfast in bed a lot
  • Can fix like… 80% of the appliances in your house-blender, toilet, crooked doors. he’s got it.  Fuck the water heater though.
  • Excellent memory for dates and anniversaries and is a very cheap date.  He’s good to be taken on a moonlit walk through the park for a date.

Cons of Dating Alex:

  • Love Doesn’t Fix Mental Illness, and the paranoia, nightmares, and phantom pains can be hard to cope with if you’re not ready for it.
  • Might end up Booby-trapping your house. To Make it Safe.
  • Is like, the WORST covers-hog.  He’ll steal them from other rooms.

nbcblindspot Fun fact about @sullygram77: Sully is like a little kid and I love it. He’s an Australian boy through and through and he always has delicious Aussie treats, that I steal from him. He’s also probably my worst partner in crime when it comes to eating. We can’t hang out if we’re trying to be “healthy” because the two of us will end up ordering every dessert on the menu before the night is over. Him and I could eat anyone under the table and it really is a point of pride for us. He’s also an incredible cook. Bolognese, lasagna, curries, you name it. — @ashleythejohnson

Random talks

A/n: requested by moonlightonroses. I’m so sorry it’s just I had all these random ideas and I tried to thread them together and it’s horrible. I’m so sorry I’m a bit off my game it’s just that I just can’t focus and I’m sorry.

Watch a movie. Make sure it’s a superhero/spy thriller action movie. Doesn’t matter which one. I assure you dear reader, that there will be a cheesy line at some point.

And in the vigilante community no one was more notorious than your family.

They weren’t always cheesy lines, just really random conversations. You hadn’t really noticed till you were on patrol with your oldest brother, Dick.

You two had just been roof hopping when you heard shouts for help from an alleyway below you. You both dropped down and saw some of black mask’s henchmen.

You and your brother quickly set to work. “Looks like you got a black eye to match your boss’s face!” Dick shouted as he punched the leader.

You actually stopped fighting your opponent and groaned. Your opponent was kind enough to allow you five seconds of embarrassment from your brother before he attacked again.

When it was all over, you and Dick had an argument about better lines.
***********

With Jason it was a bit different. You both had recently been on a Hamilton kick and could sing most of the songs by heart. (This next part is inspired by a chat thing on here. I forget who made it sorry)

You two had cornered a couple thugs. Jason held his gun up and aimed at the one. “Fools who run their mouths off wind up dead” he sang.

You facepalmed as the one crook joined in. He didn’t even make it to the third yo before Jason shot him and his friend.

“Jason! B said no more killing!”

“Relax sis, it was just rubber bullets. But the song was a nice touch, right?”

You sighed as you grappled up onto a rooftop. “Don’t talk to me until you stop being so cheesy.” *******************


Tim was probably the worst one. He’d steal the one liners from movies and the comic books that he reads. There was one night where he spent the entire time punching baddies in the gut and asking them about their stomach pains.

You had just left the building not even bothering to try and talk to him like you did the other two.

It wasn’t until the night that your father had needed all of you to work on a mission. It was nonstop talking and cracking jokes and you were about ready to murder someone.

At least Damian was quiet, you thought wistfully. That was until he started screaming at Tim about something stupid. Then Jason got involved and he dragged Dick into it. You were done.

Moving to sit next to your father, you rested your head on. The dashboard and let out a loud groan. He patted your back sympathetically.

“Will you all SHUT UP?!?!” You finally screamed. They all listened to you and you finally had a peaceful night.

[Warning, Spoilers]

….. I just want Akechi to have some love
I mean, I know he technically tried to kill Akira and pretty much end the Phantom Thieves, but his intentions weren’t focused on just them

As everyone knows, he was after his father the whole time, the Phantom Thieves were just another step in his revenge. I’d hope that everyone also knows that it didn’t go quite as planned.

Why?
Well, he did the one thing he tried to avoid.
He took off his mask.
He allowed himself to grow attached to the group and especially Akira because he could *trust him*. He never felt like he could trust anyone, he felt like he was a puppet for his father’s use. He never felt like he would be wanted for anything other than someone else’s profit. As we all know, though, that was proven wrong.

And you’re gonna hate him because of the way he is?

I know this post is completely unnecessary, but I felt like I SHOULD post about this because Akechi was and is receiving hate because they feel like he’s ‘despicable’ or he 'doesn’t deserve a second chance’

*Well I’m sorry to disappoint you, but the entire game was set on second chances.*

What makes Akechi so different? Just because he was an 'antagonist’? Because he 'is a terrible person?’
If you think that, what you’re doing is exactly what society did to the rest of the Phantom Thieves. You’re pretty much confirming that what happened in the game can actually happen (besides the Persona part, I wish though).

Look, I’m not saying that Akechi is an innocent angel or he did nothing wrong. I mean, obviously, he was at fault because he did it, whether Shido was controlling him or not. What I’m saying is that no matter what you’ve done, there should be a chance at forgiveness. This isn’t the case a lot of times, because people forget just how much everyone is so deserving of a second chance. To steal that from someone, that can make you the very worst kind of thief. Stealing someone’s right to actually live their life without ridicule or mockery is absolutely cruel.

Now, back to Akechi. Our ace detective is the perfect example of someone who is ridiculed by people because they just don’t like him or they like Yusuke better. I’m sorry, but Atlus decided to make Shuake/ Akeshu lowkey canon (I ship ShuKita as well as ShuAke, so I’m sort of happy and sad at the same time). It’s more of a mutual understanding than full blown romance, but it’s there, and there may be DLC like what they did with Persona 4. Don’t hate because your OTP isn’t canon. We all have our ships that we never got to see canon because the creators didn’t want it that way. It’s fine to ship those other characters, but no need for hating.


In conclusion, though he is an Antagonist, Akechi Goro might as well be one of the characters with the deepest and relatable stories (to a degree) that you don’t see every day. All of the main characters in Persona 5 had some really messed up stories, but he was the only one who didn’t get to see his 'justice’ unfold. If he is still alive, he should get a second chance, because in his final moments in the game he proved that he could change. He *did* change. He decided to save his friends. He sacrificed himself for them because he decided to care. Don’t believe me? Look at the note for the Level 10 Justice Confidant.

,,,,, just don’t hate on him for no good reason. If you have a particularly good reason for not liking Akechi, feel free to reblog this with your opinion.

Thank you for your time.

Aye just an update from the hospital:

My porker coworker got fired for stealing food from the nourishment on top of not coming in for work for the last month and a half.

It was always a new excuse:

  • I got into a car accident
  • I feel sick
  • My husband is sick
  • My granny died
  • My cat died
  • My aunt died
  • My car won’t work
  • Doesn’t call or accept calls but swears her phone lines are down 
  • My feet/back/legs hurt so I can’t come in today
  • No parking spot on level 2 and the elevators don’t work in garage so I can’t come in 

leaving me and the other human sized coworkers to pick up her slack despite her being hired on to work those few days.

I had to skip out on my workout routines, my homework hours and neglect family time just so our babies could leave on time from the hospital but nooooo the fat fuck who is ’oh so nerdy so therefore she’s better than us “skinny” bitches’ was just fucking around.

How do I know this?

Miss ‘nerdy’ is Facebook friends with a (ex)mutual of mine who I have yet to delete/block yet.

I have been able to go back to all the times she’s called in with a lame ass excuse to see porker is just playing on the beach and taking (time stamped) selfies of herself because after working maybe one day in a months time while STILL reaping benefits (healthcare and the like) from the job because she “deserves” it as many of her selfie captions proclaim.

 I take this to our boss who seems more than relived that I have this evidence because guess what? The only reason porker got hired is because her church congregation pressured my boss into doing so.

Apparently my boss absently minded stated she needed to find more workers in a private conversation with another church goer and porker’s mom overheard it and then with plenty of eyes on our boss was forced to interview/hire her. 

My boss agrees with me that porker shouldn’t have been hired since out of all 5 of us she’s the one that not only gets the most negative reviews here when she does decide she’s fit (as if I can fit 2 of me inside her skin and STILL have room to wiggle around) to work BUT I’m not the only fit nurse that sees her stuffing her face with our food meant for the mothers.

So far my hospital is doing one of those hidden camera sting ring things to see who is stealing from nourishment but want to take a guess who the worst offenders are?

Our horrendously overweight/obese porker nurses!

What a shock!

They have been documenting what they’ve been taking (my ex coworker included) for review to see if they’re worth keeping or if its enough to fire them on the spot.

They’re also got a cameras on the floor as well meaning they get to see who has been leaving food shit on the floors/files and who is taking more than their fair share for a break.

As far as I know that’ll take out a good 8-15 nurses off the payroll for this meaning we’ll be understaffed until they find new (hopefully human sized) nurses that won’t be such lazy fucks who steal food but only if they don’t decided to ’give them a warning’ so they have time to fuck up again.

I just really hope they just fire the porkers just like my former fatty coworker because honestly they are just a drain on everything.

I shouldn’t have to do the job of 5 nurses because they all decide that their ‘suga’ fix at Starbucks is more important than their patients. 

I shouldn’t have to do their jobs for what I get paid.

I’m supposed to be their for babies only and not their fucking outsourced maid to start doing their shit for them for the sake of the moms/babies or babysit their fat asses to DO THEIR DAMN JOB.

Fuck I even had 9 nurses all decided to have lunch together at Crisper’s leaving only one (human) nurse and me to cater to the mothers and babies on the floor for nearly an hour and we had a full floor that day.

I was supposed to be out by 3 but here I was at almost 6 trying to help the only other nurse get the medications, baths, IVs removed, questions answered, paperwork delivered, food and shit because no one in their fat minds thought it would be a bad idea to leave just one nurse and a technician on the floor!

The sooner we get rid of the dead weight the sooner our hospital will be running at full efficiency.

I am tired of this fat ass shit. They need to get rid of them and do it quick for the sake of our patients and the hospital.

TLDR; you fat fucks crying about this being mean because its ’totes all being looks and not what ALL FATS are like, I actually bust my ass to do things for my work wah wah this is why we need fat accpetance wah wah ignore all my sick days cuz im healthy wah wah’ can sit the fuck down. It’s all you porkers do anyway.

You don’t get off your asses to do your jobs at 100% you do the BARE MINIMUM before sitting down with your king sized snickers because you “earned it” and remind the human sized coworkers to finish what you started.

 Your bodies show a direct correlation to your sloth and gluttony otherwise you wouldn’t look like the Goblin King from the Hobbit. 

Human bodies do not look like that overnight and they sure as hell don’t 'magically’ happen to active healthy people in the course of a month.

You fucked yourselves up with your eating habits and lifestyle. Your bodies reflect the sins from within.

Either get jobs in call centers or get healthy because you 100% are doing shit for actual healthy bodies in the system.


Disclaimer: The above is an anonymous submission.

There was a comment on /v/fatpeoplehate of a person who knew a fat nurse who also stole and ate from nourishment lmao. Idk if that was you or someone else though.

The Condition - Part 2


After that night things progressed pretty quickly in many ways. The following morning Kevin and I continued where we left off the night before and brought ourselves to another set of mutual orgasms before we finally decided we were both pretty ripe and in need of a shower. We showered together even though we barely fit into the stall, and we explored each other’s bodies in a different kind of intimacy.

We were really quite similar in terms of volume, only with different specifics. His stretch marks were faint and concentrated on his lower belly, whereas mine we an obvious and angry red all around my sides and lower back. We both had prominent guts, but Kevin’s body seemed to mold into his jutting torso seamlessly, while my anatomy delineated itself with folds and crevices, making it look like I wore my excess weight as a fleshy suit of armor. It also meant that I had bigger tits and love handles than Kevin did, which he never failed to both remind me of and manhandle every chance he got.

At first it was weird. I’d never been particularly OK with my weight, but as the days turned into weeks and Kevin and I became ever more comfortable with our physicality I started to see things differently. Every time he touched a soft bit of belly that had fallen out of my shirt, or he kneaded my fleshy man-tits, or even just poked a finger down my belly button I found the sensation increasingly erotic. I put it down to the fact that nobody had ever touched me that way - mostly because much of that anatomy had only developed recently.

And continued to develop, as I’d find out.


“Hey, it’s starting to get hot out - you got any shorts?” I asked offhandedly. It was well into Spring, just past midterms, and I felt like embracing the season in shorts rather than my usual jeans.

Kevin was still waking up, as is his want, but he groggily rummaged through drawers of clothing until he tossed a pair of shorts over his shoulders. Kevin and I had been wearing each other’s clothes for the past several months, and I knew that I wouldn’t have any shorts that fit since I hadn’t bought any new pairs with my last wardrobe update.

I stuck my stocky leg through one hole, and then the other, and then hoisted the fabric above my rear. Then I began the now-familiar ritual of sucking in my gut while I tried to do up the button - only no matter how hard I pulled I couldn’t get the two ends of cloth anywhere near each other. I tried a few more times to no avail before finally exhaling in defeat.

“Uh, these don’t fit dude. You got anything bigger?” I asked, somewhat sheepishly. Kevin just looked at me standing there wearing what only in hindsight seemed like shorts way too small to fit someone of my bulk. Then he looked up and shook his head.

“No, actually - those are my biggest pair,” he said, and then realized why he’d stared at me so long. This was the first time I’d been unable to fit into Kevin’s clothes.

I was bigger than him now.

For all of our relationship, Kevin had always been the lovable fat guy. It was a role he enjoyed and never really had any desire to steal from him. But now I’d surpassed him, and worst of all I had no idea how that was even possible. Sure, we both maybe pigged out a little too much on the weekends, but Kevin always seemed to out eat me wherever we went. How could I possibly have grown larger than him?

I picked up my belly and let it drop, watching the rest of me wobble in response. “I guess I’ll wear jeans then,” I said despairingly, and Kevin simply nodded. It seemed like he was a little shocked at this morning’s revelation as well.

On the morning walk to class I took stock of myself physically for the first time in months, ignoring the beautiful weather I was marching through. Comparing myself now to last year, I certainly knew I was bigger, but it was more than that. My gait had changed, more of a lumbering shuffle than an easy stroll. My feet stuck out at a diagonal with each step when previously they were straight. My thighs rubbed together with every step, wearing the inside of each pant leg to the point where it was clearly visible.

I then took a few more steps and noticed how my front jiggled with each step, and how my chest and belly rubbed against the inside of t-shirt, chafing my tits. After a few more steps I could feel a sliver of cold as my lower belly escaped the inadequate fabric that tried to contain it.

I was also hot; the real reason I’d wanted to wear shorts was so I wouldn’t be sweating by the time I got to school. I could already feel beads of sweat on my back and forehead.

Checking my phone’s weather app, it reported the current temperature to be a mere 14 degrees Celsius - well below room temperature.

By the time I got to school I was winded and had sweat through my shirt. As I wheezed my way to class I made two promises right there: first, was that I’d start going to the gym to get in shape, and second, I was going to book a doctor’s appointment. Something was wrong - there was just no way I could be this big, and I planned to find out why I was.

Gas Station Girl Again

So in that 4 months I witnessed a TON of buckwild shit. But I think the best and also worst was when I got accused of stealing from a customer.
For some reason the area I worked and lived in had a high amount of straight off the boat polish people. Now, usually, everyone’s pretty nice. Except for the older crowd. There is nothing worse than being berated by an ancient old person who is yelling in half polish half English. It’s the stuff of nightmares. Anyways, an older gentleman walks in, and asks for EXACTLY 13 gallons of gas. Now, like I stated before, my training was absolute dog shit so I had no idea how to charge for exactly 13 gallons, so I did the math for dollar per gallon with the .009 cent for every gallon margin, and charged his debit card the total. He seems satisfied enough, and goes out to pump his gas. During that time, another old family friend comes into the store and is buying coffee & cigarettes. We’re having light conversation when all of a sudden, the old man rushes into the store like a bat out of hell and starts yelling all types of profanities at me. He proceeds to call me a bitch, a whore, a painted slut, and asks if I steal from all the customers, or just him. I’m genuinely confused. I felt like I got blasted into the twilight zone or something. So I’m just staring at him with a blank face like, “what?” And he then continues to tell me he paid for 13 gallons worth of gas, but he was only able to pump 11. I then realized my math was off. So this old shit bag thought that I had charged him for the price of 13 gallons, but only allowed him to pump 11. Like I was some sort of Gas Pump Wizard. I tried explaining this to him, that I didn’t know how to charge him for exactly 13, so I did the best I could. He wasn’t satisfied and was still convinced I was stealing, like I personally profited from this exchange. I let it run for about another 10 minutes of just him yelling at me, and me trying to get other customers through before 3 different people forcibly pushed him out of the store. And I’m glad they did. I was about 2 seconds away from macing him in the face with the pepper spray I kept on my store keys :/

anonymous asked:

I respect the right to boycott media, but I hate that by doing that, or by watching a "stolen" version it takes away from the good people involved in it. I was wondering what your opinion is on that specifically? Is it worth taking advantage of the many to stand up against the few?

Complicated question which deserves a more thorough answer than I can give. 

I think you have to look at the whole thing, yeah? Your point mirrors the point the last anon just made. Ultimately, who will it affect?

First, I’ll say that I’m not going to watch a stolen copy, exactly for that reason.

Second, everyone in that film has made the choice to be there. Unless they are bound by a contract - and some are - it’s a choice. Others are there because they need food on the table. I get that, too. That’s an oversimplification, but I’m not an economist and can’t work with the full complexity of the issue. 

And despite this specific circumstance, I’m generally not a fan of boycotts. They’re often founded in misinformation, ineffectively organized, and rarely yield results unless they’re professionally organized.

Who would a boycott affect? Unsure. It’s important to recognize that my dollars, or your dollars, will individually make very little difference, to WB, JK, Depp, etc. Collectively? Might make a point, but WB will still pour a ton of money into the franchise. And the franchise will probably, ultimately succeed because it is a Potter film, and enough people won’t care about the d*pp 

I don’t know if the prop hands will be affected. I sure as fuck hope not, but ultimately, I have to act with my conscience. And my conscience says this:

With my limited consumer dollars, I can’t support this franchise. If I boycott - it might change, it might not. If I carry on as usual - for sure, nothing will change. And if I do nothing, my principle is reduced to laptop activism.

So, if my kids really want to see it, we will watch it through the library or from a friend. No stealing - because that would affect the prop hand. Worst case - we will rent it. We sure as hell will not spend $50 seeing it in the theater.

Ultimately, you have to do what is right for you. 

We’re a big fucking fandom. And we’re pissed. And the media has noticed. Just google it and you’ll see more articles than you can count. See this Forbes article about the continuing PR nightmare they’ll face for keeping depp.

There are pros and cons and multiple sides to this issue.

Go, enjoy the movie! No judgment here. There will be plenty of poeple who love it.

Boycott or don’t. 

But if this bothers you, do keep talking about it. Make it a damn PR nightmare for them. Even if these efforts aren’t successful in changing their mind, it’s important to take a stand. 

Finally, let’s not forget that we’re fucking millennials. We’re killing diamonds, napkins, golf, and fuckall knows what else that didn’t adapt and grow. If we really put our minds to it, we can kill the ‘put abusing asswipes in starring roles’ industry.

Companies really out here trying to convince us that people who steal are the worst of the society but y'all stealing from your employees by paying them less than $10 an hour while you’re out here making billions and billions of dollars a year

A list of this movie’s sins:

  • shitty lighting
  • awkward camera positions
  • bad plot that went nowhere (kind of like One Away, come to think of it, but One Away is much better than this)
  • terrible characters
  • jokes that were either stupid (like the bad attempt to hop a rail) or “Hahaha WTF?” kind of humor (like Russ doing a jump in front of the car before jumping back in through the window head first)

In short: bad.