So lil’ update:
Took an NBME on Saturday. Did better than my last NBME, but still didn’t pass.
I was so mad after seeing my score, guys. I was so mad and so upset that I cried and screamed with rage the whole 25 minute drive home. I called Sweetheart and asked him, “Why? Why? Why am I having so much trouble with this? What is going on? What am I doing wrong?” We were supposed to go out to see Wonder Woman that night, but instead I opted that we stay in with take out. I binged three episodes of OITNB and he played Blueprint Tycoon.
Sunday, I sent some emails to my school’s learning specialist, the assistant dean of curriculum who’s tracking my progress with step 1 studying, and texted my attending.
The assistant dean emailed me back saying, “I’m so sorry to hear that you are still struggling with this. I’m sure this is very discouraging. Keep your head up though; you are a very capable student, and I am confident that you will be a terrific physician!”
(Side note: she was my biochemistry professor and when I started getting D’s on my biochem exams I started to meet with her to figure out where I was going wrong. After a couple meetings with her and a few exams later, I was able to pull my grade from a D to a B at the end of the semester, so she knows my history.)
I’m meeting with the learning specialist next week and having a phone call meeting with my attending tomorrow.
Meanwhile, today I met with one of my step 1 course instructors. He wanted to observe me doing some questions on my own to see my process. I was nervous and a little anxious that he was watching and listening to me think out loud, so much so that it threw me off during the first question and I got it wrong. I had narrowed down my answer choices to 2, and, like always, I chose the wrong one. Story of my life on every NBME I take.
So then we did another question. And another. And another. In total, we did 10 questions.
And that first question I got wrong? That was the only question I got wrong.
I got 9 questions right in a row. 9 out of 10. That’s a 90% right there! Which solidified to both my instructor and myself that the issue isn’t that I don’t know anything. I know lots. I know lots and lots of stuff! But that sometimes, I second guess myself, or I talk myself out of an answer, or I make one answer choice into what I want it to be rather than what it actually is.
So my instructor gave me some tips on how to approach questions and improve my critical thinking skills. And the next NBME that I take? I’m going to own it. And I’m going to pass.