stay strong my sunshine

Jonghyun - You really are still here.

Today was the worst. I couldn’t sleep properly. I couldn’t eat. I was lethargic and light headed. All because I knew that that kind amazing soul wasn’t still with us.

My Mum, being amazing and understanding how much this angel and the rest of SHINee changed my life, took me out to try and clear my mind, but only got worse as she tried to make me eat on a very empty stomach that I almost hurled.

So on the drive back she thought it would be a nice time to play one of my favourite songs from him, “Breath” ft. Taeyeon from 2014. I sang quietly to the words, tears streaming down my face as I looked out the window, the storm clouds beginning to roll in (even though it was +30 here in Melbourne, Aus.) It was like my heart was being torn apart.

But suddenly, just as Jonghyun’s part came on, at that exact moment, the sun appeared out of the clouds, shining brightly through the darkness of the storm.

My heart literally stopped, but not like it did when I found out the news of his death. My tears stopped as I stared up into the light, warm and comforting as Jonghyun continued to sing before finally the sun disappeared as his part ended.

It can’t be a coincidence! It has to be a sign. Our light, our Jonghyun, really is free now, finally able to embrace himself in the light, and will forever shine down upon us. He will always be with us.

Shawols lets be strong for our Jonghyun! Let’s support each other and the boys! I love each of you and know I’m here if you need to talk.

We will continue to remain strong for you Jonghyun, and though it may hurt for a while, I will remember you not as the KPOP idol who took his own life, but not only as the man who always made others smile and blessed us with your incredible gifts from God, your voice and breathtaking personality, but the man who helped me find my way back to live a life knowing it was okay to be lost at times.

To my dearest angel, rest well amongst the stars and clouds, I love you.

Originally posted by jj0ng

Let’s appreciate how almost all of You’s screen time in Episode 8 was devoted to her saying “Chika-chan…” and giving Chika worried looks.

a future // jonah marais


i wrote like half of this on a nyc bus so i apologize if it’s shitty lmaoooo but i think this was good? idk i loved writing this but sorry if it’s choppy and stuff but i hope you guys enjoy!

triggers: cursing


everything was beginning to feel wrong between y/n and jonah.

it started off small, almost miniscule. fights over the tiny things, like leaving the toilet seat up and not washing the dishes. small arguments that were resolved in a matter of minutes and kisses.

“babe!” y/n groaned in contempt, sighing deeply as she stared at the dishwasher.

“yeah babe?” jonah stuck his head out of the bedroom doorway, looking at his frustrated girlfriend.

“would you care to tell me why the dishwasher is still full after i asked you to empty it and put the dishes away?” she put her hands on hips, giving jonah an annoyed look. he sheepishly stepped out from the bedroom, walking to where y/n stood.

“i-i forgot about it. i’m sorry baby, i’ll put them away right now,” he offered, giving y/n a charming smile. almost instantaneously, her annoyance washed away, being replaced with the pure infatuation she had for this boy.

“thank you babe,” she smiled, leaning up and pressing a sweet kiss to jonah’s lips. he deepened the kiss, only to have y/n pull away a second later.

“nu-uh jonah, you have some dishes to put away,” and with that she waltzed away, leaving jonah with a full dishwasher and red cheeks.

then it escaladed into bigger things, not answering phone calls, not listening to what the other was saying. all cleared up with kisses and cuddles.

“jonah? babe? are you even listening to me?” y/n questioned, and irked tone being laced in her voice.

jonah shook himself out of his distracted daze. “what? oh, of course i was listening!” he tried to defend himself, but y/n knew better.

“if you were listening, then what was i talking about?” y/n inquired, rendering jonah completely silent. “yeah, that’s what i thought,” she huffed, turning away from him.

“baby i’m sorry okay? i promise that i’ll listen to every single word you say from now on,” he said, but y/n’s stubborn side was beginning to shine through.

“i-it just seems like you never listen anymore jonah,” she exclaimed, turning back towards him with pain in her eyes. his heart melted, guilt seeping through his skin.

“i promise that i will always listen to what you have to say baby, and i’m so sorry that it seems like i never listen, because i swear i do. i swear that for the rest of my days that i will listen to everything you say,” he pledged, causing a smile to form on her face.

“gosh, i love you jonah,”

“i love you more y/n.”

then, the big fights. being off the radar for hours, not texting back for what felt like days. ignoring, yelling, silence.

“you know what y/n? maybe if you weren’t so overbearing then we wouldn’t be having problems like this,” jonah yelled, causing the anger inside y/n to flame up even hotter than before. jonah had come home nearly four hours after the time he had promised, and y/n was mad. she had cooked dinner, which had already gone ice cold by the time jonah was finally home. and well, y/n was not ready to take any of jonah’s shit.

“me? overbearing? maybe if you would even try to come home on time, maybe i wouldn’t have to worry about you! i’m your girlfriend, not your fucking mother! you said you’d be home by five. guess what genius? it’s fucking nine thirty and you just came home!” she seethed at him, angry tears beginning to sting at the corners of her eyes. jonah scoffed angrily and clenched his fists.

“i was busy! they held us back at the studio, and afterwards i went out with the boys. we lost track of time! i don’t have to fucking tell you where i am all the time,” he shouted out, causing y/n to roll her eyes.

“so you can’t shoot me a text? tell me you’re gonna be late? tell me that i don’t have to take an hour out of my day to fucking cook?” she exclaimed, the hot tears beginning to roll down her face. she hastily wiped them away, the anger she felt coming in strong waves.

“i’m fucking sorry then okay? i’m sorry that my job requires me to stay late. i’m sorry i want to actually have a fucking social life, rather than stay locked up in the apartment like you,” jonah scoffed, gesturing about fiercely.

“excuse me? i’m in this apartment all day because i have work to do! i’m trying to get a fucking degree so i can have a future!” she paused in her yelling, breathing in deeply. “and now i can see that maybe i don’t have a future with you,” her voice trailed off, breaking slightly at the end of her sentence.

jonah’s breath caught in his throat, the pure anger he had felt moments again washing away when he heard the words come out of her mouth.

“w-what?” he whispered, nearly collapsing on the floor. they had fought before, but they always resolved it. it had never gone this far, neither of them ever thought it would go this far.

“i-i have to go. it’s best if i just, go.” she whimpered, grabbing her purse off the couch and rushing out of the door. jonah stood in shock for a moment before rushing out after her.

the night sky seemed even darker as he ran out, catching y/n as she started her car. there were no stars to be seen, the eerie moonlight shining down on the broken couple.

“y/n, please, i’m sorry baby,” he pleaded. tears began welling up in his eyes. y/n sighed, her own bloodshot eyes looking up into his teary blue ones.

“give me a reason.” she said, stepping out of the still running car.

“what?” jonah wiped away his tears, looking at y/n in confusion.

“give me a reason to stay,” she said, and jonah’s eyes widened, but he nodded. he took at moment to collect his jumbled thoughts before speaking.

“stay because-” he took in a deep breath. “stay because i love you more than anything in this world. i know we fight, and i know we don’t always see eye to eye. but no matter what, i know we’re strong enough to get through it,”

“stay because you’re my sunshine, you’re my light. you’re the most amazing girlfriend i could ever imagine, and i don’t deserve any bit of you. but for some reason you’ve stayed so long, despite me being a complete dickhead so often,” this made y/n smile just a bit.

“stay because even though you said you can’t imagine a future for us, i can. and i’m willing to do anything for you to start imagining one too, because you, y/n y/l/n, are the most important thing in my life, and a life without you isn’t one i’m willing to imagine.” he was practically on his knees at this point, looking up at the girl he loved with his whole heart.

y/n’s eyes began tearing up again, but this time not out of anger or sadness. it was out of the pure beauty of jonah’s words.

“i was lying,” she mumbled, causing jonah to furrow his brows in confusion.

“lying about what?”

“lying about not seeing a future with you,” she looked up into jonah’s eyes. “because, i see a future with you so bright it’s practically blinding. there is nothing i want more than to be with you until the end of time jonah marais roth frantzich,” she breathed out. a wide grin painted itself on his face.

“i love you so fucking much, no matter what happens. because me and you,” he paused, but y/n jumped in before he could finish.

“we’re in it for life,” she finished, crashing her lips onto his. he deepened the kiss, relishing in the feeling of her warm lips finally being on his. they stood there kissing for what felt like hours before the broke apart, gasping for breath.

“can we go inside now? it’s kinda cold,” she mumbled, being met with a laugh and a nod. they ran inside hand in hand, laughing lightly together. they were already inside when jonah came to a realization.

“oh shit,” he groaned, getting a perplexed look from y/n.

“what is it jo?” she asked him.

“we left the car on.”

and so they went back outside again.


150908, Happy Birthday to The Ark’s super talented and charismatic leader Jeon Minju! Thank you for staying strong after all these years of hardships so you can finally be on that stage, where you’ve always wanted to be and belonged to. You are the warmest sunshine and the brightest light that shines through my heart and I can’t thank you enough for that, you’ve changed my life. You were born to be a star so keep on shining! Always take care of yourself and never stop smiling! Love you till the end and please stay forever cute ♥ #HappyLeaderMinjuDay #HBDMinju