stay slammed

(x)

9:01 am

Does he remember what he did.
Does he realise it was him?
That with love songs and sad poems he ripped my bones from under my skin cracked each one into a more tangible size then shoved them haphazardly back in.
Does he know of the endless stream of apologies that have flowed from my mouth this past year.
Does he know how there’s scars on my feet from all those eggshells I walked on.
Does he know that even though he drank for two days after I got the courage to say ‘hey,’
‘I don’t think I can go on this way’
I still don’t regret it
Does he ever think of the things he said
And think of how they actually rang in my head
'No one likes me, I’m better off dead’
Did he treat her better?
Hair like snow and cursive letters
A year of them bound together she must’ve had a different him
When his mind had healed and he let her in
Rather than display his pain through bulletproof skin

I hope he’s better now than when I knew him
I hope I’ll be better soon, because he never meant to, he never knew it.

to anyone who needs it:

the day after you kill yourself, you’re going to wake up feeling empty. like your body is hallow and with every step you can hear your bones creak and like any normal day, you get up and go to school because you assume it’ll be just like any other day. right? you’re at school, and everyone is crying. why are they crying? you walk past all of the bodies with tears streaming down their cheeks. again, why are they crying so hard? you hear someone say, “i can’t believe they are gone” and another, “why did they have to go soon? they were always so happy.” and you know, this time, it’s real. you walk the hallway as every face you never thought noticed you, is color ridden, they are pale, sad, walking is too much for them. because they are without another happy face. and you see, your best friend she’s crying so hard in class she’s choking on her own tears because she cannot breathe without you. because she promised herself she would make it to school because you knew she was strong and you made sure you told her that everyday and she owed that to you, and she is broken because you promised you would call her when the nights became too heavy for her. why didn’t you call her? she’s sobbing harder now, she misses you, and she wants to join you because a life without you is like a life without sunshine, it’s simply impossible to thrive. that boy you liked so much, he liked you too. why couldn’t you see that? he loved you. he called you every time you were sad because he hated he couldn’t always be there to wipe away your tears and now, he’s the one with so many tears. he is crying and he’s not gonna stop anytime soon because he misses you, and he regrets not telling you he loved you sooner. he can’t stop thinking about the night he finally got the courage to hold your hand. he wishes he could’ve held onto you tighter, because maybe it would have kept you here. alive. your lunch table, is filled with people but one spot, it is empty. because you were supposed to be there, you were supposed to be making your god damn lame jokes and smiling that cheesy smile you did where your eyes lit up so bright. you know what im talking about, you just couldn’t see it. and everyone around you, they miss your laugh. they miss the way you always smiled at everyone, even if they didn’t know you, even if you were completely falling apart. kiddo, you kept everyone together. and everyone was convinced, you were kept together too and im sorry you didn’t see it. but look now, everyone is crying, everyone. even the people you thought didn’t notice you, bud, they did. it was impossible not to notice the one face that no matter how much they were falling apart, was always so bright and full of life. and your parents, they miss you. every time they come home now, they walk past your room and their hearts drop and break right outside your bedroom door and they stay there. because everyone is far too weak and broken to pick anything up after you left. and im writing this because i know. i see the broken smiles that have pieces of the lives lost still stuck in them. i hear the stories of how beautiful and caring she was and i knew her. and it hurts. because you think you don’t matter and you’re convinced you don’t, until it’s too late. please, don’t let it become too late. when you see people broken after a life is lost, you understand. and it’s terrible and for weeks after, you can’t help but cry every time you feel the sun on your skin because they won’t get to feel that anymore. and it rips you to shreds and changes you as a person. so please, take it from someone who understands, you are worth life. you deserve to live. i know things are hard, i know you feel alone, but things will not be dark forever. on the other side of the clouds there is still sunshine no matter how bad the storm once was. so i am begging you, stay alive.

Your ex boyfriend meets you in a comic book store.
He tells you that you give good hugs, he smiles,
He goes home after exchanging numbers with you.
He lives hours from you and you talk all the time to make up for the fact.
He shares your interests, your passions, your enthusiasms,
He clicks with you in no time whatsoever.
When he tells you that he loves you, your ex boyfriend
Will stumble and trip over his words
Like some form of obstacle, an accident, a mistake.
He does not realise this yet, but for now,
You are the gold in his life
You are long hair and flannel shirts
Obscure music and a passion for superheroes and comic books.

Your ex boyfriend stays with you over the summer.
You share souls, share stories
The week after he leaves, you spend time wondering
What might have been if he stayed longer. What might have happened
If he lived closer, was closer, got closer
Your ex boyfriend has big hands perfect for your own.
But you find yourself falling through his fingertips like sand
And it isn’t something that could have been stopped. Your ex boyfriend
Insists it’s his fault, that he’s the reason
You slipped out of his palms and into the open sea.

Your ex boyfriend asks if you can still be friends.
You snatch this offer in the same way he stole your heart so quickly
And you try to treat it with the same care he treated you. You sit at home at four in the morning.
You and your ex boyfriend haven’t spoken in months
And you accept his offer once again, you ask how he’s been
You hope you can be friends at least. Your ex boyfriend sees your message. He will not text you back.
—  Your Ex Boyfriend

My younger sister is only 10 years old
And already she knows what it means
To hate oneself and, if you ask her,
She can tell you right away what depression is.

My younger sister is only 10 years old
And she comes up to me asking me
Whether or not she is beautiful-
There are boys in her class who whisper
And she cannot find it in herself to keep her head up.

My younger sister is only 10 years old
And the weighing machine has become her best friend,
She steps onto it every day 
Asking me if the weight shown on the scale
Is the ‘ideal’.

My younger sister is only 10 years old
And when people call her pretty she casts her eyes downwards,
Mumbles a meek 'thank you’ and tells me
She thinks they did it out of courtesy.

My younger sister is only 10 years old
And already people are telling her
That 'if you don’t try to dress pretty people won’t like you’-
I’ve seen her look at my dresses and sigh
That she wished she was pretty enough to pull them off.

My younger sister is only 10 years old
And when I told her I was leaving to college
She cried for hours and told me that people were right
And that no one was going to stick around to love her
Because she wasn’t what people wanted.

My younger sister is only 10 years old
And her heart has been broken too many times
Despite her tender age and status as a child
And you ask me why I’m climbing on rooftops
Screaming 'let children be children’
Because, what people are taking is their innocence
And my younger sister is only 10.

—  s.r. // my younger sister
When you fell out of love with me, I left the door unlocked and the lights on incase you decided to come home.
2 years later and I realized you were my home.
If I could have had you sleeping in my bed every night i would have been happy the rest of my life.
 I told you the view was perfect but i was looking at you. 
The sky tried to steal my heart the day you left but i said it belonged to you.
Your words made a home in my veins and it’s a shame you decided to leave cause they’re forever engraved in the chambers of my heart.
you shouldn’t have slammed the door so hard when you left and if I could I’d take you back to when we first met just to show you the chaos you caused in my mind and maybe it’s all for nothing now, how you said “I think this is for the best” I asked you to “Please stay” and you slammed the door on my heart.
—  For the record, i love you

life is pretty, there’s so much beauty despite the pain and bad things that happen and you have to always look for that because there are gonna be days where even the sun doesn’t shine (but it’s always on the other side of the clouds, remember that) and there’s gonna be days where all you do is cry or where everything goes wrong and you have to find some peace in that. find peace in the fact that everything is temporary. life itself is temporary and you’re never ever promised tomorrow and i don’t know about you but id rather go out knowing i loved w all ive got and i know my mindset isn’t always like that and sometimes for days i’m just sad and that’s okay. feel the emotions that come to you, but when you start drowning in the ocean of sadness; stand up. find your footing. be your own anchor. hold yourself down because things will always try and take you out. but you can stand tall and you can make it out. you just have to find the good, the lovely things. appreciate the sun and the sky and flowers and pretty colors and pups and kitties and books and movies, etc etc. and soak them in, bask in the lovely things and you’ll feel lovely yourself. i promise. it all doesn’t have to hurt you so bad, you have the power to say “this doesn’t hurt me.” you have the power to make it stop hurting. so save yourself. it’s all up to you. your life is in your very own hands. remember that.

my mom is being so rude rn wtf

@theregoesthebellhop

Hunger coupled with any emotion spelled trouble. Gwen just hadn’t been prepared for that rush of cold fear to sting more than her initial anger at the news. She’d seen the victim- still alive, still human, and refusing to tell their story, which was both good and bad for Gwen and the party she knew to be responsible. 

Case most definitely not closed, Gwen still had things to do before sunrise. She excused herself from work and let herself into the hotel room she’d been secretly paying for Ricky to stay hidden in, slammed the door behind her, hissing until she cornered him, slammed his back against the wall, and stood on her toes to press her forearm against his throat, eyes wide as she stared, demanding an explanation. 

(Slams head off of a table)

Ok.. Let me say something here..


Being a fan of Undertale (this includes Underswap, Underfell, Underlust, Errortale, ect.) I’ve seen a lot of hate on shippings, AUs (Alternate universes), fanart, OCs, and fanfiction.

I just came to say one thing.

IF YOU DON’T LIKE A CERTAIN THING, DON’T POST HATE.

Hate on a certain thing causes fights, depression, regrets, and worst of all, suicide.

I just posted this so that you could see this, too.

It’s still important to see this even if you agree!

Thank you if you read all of this!

Please stay safe on here, everyone! And if someone bothers you, they’re just jealous because you’re nicer than them!


And please, stay the way you are..

Even if this is an Undertale reference, it’s true that you are filled with… Determination!

You are also filled with positivity, creativity, and kindness!


Take it from me….