stay shaq


*wipes sweat and tears off my tablet* what do you mean that isn’t even all of them?

anonymous asked:

thoughts on camping in alaska?

new album is sick, get stoked


(i didnt know this was the name of a band when i typed this) my friend bernie and his family used to camp in alaska every year around the iditarod but one year he got separated from them and ended up wandering around for a few days hungry and thinking he was gonna die. he eventually found one of those trendy ice hotels that were popular at the time, like where all the shit is made of ice. he goes in, no one’s around at all, he finds a room with a vcr and a tv running off a generator and a little box on the table.  he sits on the couch made of ice and takes a little rest, wondering what hes going to do, when he hears a noise and fuckin shaquille o'neal is there for some promo event, haha.  shaq doesnt say anything tho, he just hands him a vhs tape and nods at the vcr.  bernie puts it in, its rewound to that scene from star wars: empire strikes back where luke has to cut open that animal, the tonton or whatever, and sleep inside its warm dead body for warmth to just stay alive.  shaq whispers “you know what you have to do.” bernie opens the little box and finds a scalpel