stay genuine

solid reasons for why you should watch Classmates;

1. literally first full, all night, openly gay themed Japanese animation that doesn’t misrepresent the gay community, rely on quick, stereotypical or ENTIRELY MADE UP solutions of problems of character design and plot design, is not overly centered on the character’s sexuality, but treats them as real, plausible people in a delicate stage of their life

2. do yourself a favor 

How the houses survive college:
  • Gryffindor: honesty & grit
  • Owning up to their mistakes, keeping it 100% real with friends, classmates, and professors, pulling an all nighter to cram because they promised a friend they'd go that party the night before, sitting at the front of the class to make sure they hear everything, even if it means the professor will notice every absence.
  • Slytherin: hacks galore
  • Complimenting professors, pretending to share their music taste/political views/love of dogs, strategically sitting in a forgettable spot in the room, bouncing off of others' ideas to make it look like they did the reading, having friends sign their name on attendance sheets.
  • Ravenclaw: genuine curiosity
  • Staying after class to ask questions, going to office hours, always keeping their hands raised in class, writing interesting, thoughtful papers even if they don't fit the prompt exactly, getting into lively debates with the professor during class discussions.
  • Hufflepuff: being the ultimate team player
  • Bringing snacks to study sessions, holding hair back over toilet bowls, mediating roommate squabbles, always being ready to come to a friend's aid with homework or heartbreak, actually using group projects to learn efficiently, making new friends in every single class.
Quotes: Tony on BTS

“Not to talk about any other group, but they’re just different. BTS has so much to offer …  People were like ‘Look up BAP, look up EXO, or G-Dragon,’ and all these groups. I checked them all out, and it wasn’t the same for me, you know.”

Rap Mon can rap really good … but the fact that he wears makeup shouldn’t take away from it or the fact that he dances shouldn’t take away from it because that’s his culture.”

“… my favorite track is ‘Hip Hop Lover.’ It’s amazing- the rapping, the hook. I was really amazed.”

“My boy Suga pulled his phone out and said, “Hey I produced this track. Do you wanna listen?” So I heard [‘Let Me Know’] before but when I could hear it in speakers, that was a beast. Suga is amazing. He made that record. He produced the track, the hook, and everything.”

“It will happen eventually, whether I get Jimin to sing a hook or Rap Monster to rap or something. Something will happen in the future.”

“They’re so dedicated, always dancing, always practicing. It’s not all forced- they don’t have to do that. They just want to be good at what they do because they’re going to get so much flak for wearing makeup and for dancing.” 

“When he’s rapping on ‘Hip Hop Lover,’ you hear greatness in Rap Mon.”

“The most talented one of them all, even though they’re all super talented, is Jungkook who is the youngest. He can do all three. He can really rap, he can really sing, he can really dance as you saw in ‘Bulletproof.’” 

(x)

Dear people who multi-ship:   That’s it. I’m convinced. You’re all wizards. HOW DO YOU DO IT? I DON’T UNDERSTAND THIS MAGIC. YOU CAN ENJOY THE CONTENT FOR MULTIPLE SHIPS. YOU GET LIKE, TWO TIMES THE CONTENT.  YOU LUCKY DUCKS, THIS ISN’T FAIR.

The mind’s original nature is like space; it pervades and embraces all things under the sun. Be still and stay relaxed in genuine ease, be quiet and let sound reverberate as an echo, keep your mind silent and watch the ending of all worlds.
—  Tilopa

If they stay, they stay. If they go, they go. This year I have learned that you don’t own anybody. No matter what you have done for them, or how many beautiful experiences you may have shared, people should be free to do as they wish. If they stick with you and decide to stay, and genuinely devote themselves to you, then count yourself lucky because that type of commitment is rare and should always be appreciated.

Gaslighting

“Why did you stay?”
“Why didn’t you leave?”
“Why didn’t you tell anyone?”

These are the questions that are fired at a survivor of gaslighting.

So what is gaslighting?

It is one of the most manipulative form of emotional abuse. It is when the victim blames themselves and has lost the faith in their own abilities. It is when you start to question your own ability to make decisions or even think. It is when someone that you are emotionally attached to becomes the person who causes you immense distress and pain.

The victims stay because they genuinely believe that they may be the cause for the distress. They stay because when it comes to someone you trust, it isn’t someone who you’d give up on that easily. They stay longer than they should because it is painful to watch someone that you love and care about (in any form be it friendship, relationship or otherwise) turn into someone that you hate. They stay out of genuine concern for the abuser’s well being.

As for why they don’t leave, it’s because they believe that they wouldn’t be able to make it without their abuser. To put it dramatically, they think that they wouldn’t be able to live without them. They believe (as they have been made to) that they are incapable of doing anything without the abuser.
Sometimes, they don’t leave out of fear of the abuser spreading false information about them or maybe because he/she has threatened to reveal the victim’s weaknesses.

They don’t tell anyone the full extent of damage being inflicted because isn’t it a human tendency to protect the people that you care about? Regardless of the type of behavior, when it comes to someone you trust, you’d tend to be protective of them and wouldn’t want anything that you say to hurt them.
So they don’t tell anyone about this sick form of demagoguery fearing whether they would even be believed or whether they would in turn be questioned about their willingness to submit to the oppressor’s wishes.

How did you let it get so bad?

What people don’t seem to understand is that the changes are so subtly done and the manipulation is so carefully implemented that the victims don’t even know what they’re falling into.
These are people you trust so at first they believe that maybe they have some hidden agenda which would lead to the betterment of themselves when in reality they are falling face flat into an emotional trap.

Then, the victims start questioning the very facts that have been presented to them because the oppressor would have made slight changes to the version of the truth which in turn would result everything being the fault of the victim.

They cut off the attachment with them only when it reaches a point where they have been hurt so badly or the abuser does something so morally wrong that no amount of excuses could pardon their behavior and they run out of instances to defend the manipulator.

This isn’t something that the survivor can “move on” from or just “get over”. It takes time to heal the wounds that have been cast on their minds.
They have been through a mental trauma, an emotional rollercoaster and a psychological assault on their very mind and these aren’t the type of scars that can be healed very soon.

It is a battle with themselves and their mind that follows in their path to recovery.

It is enough to drive anyone to the point of insanity and requires and immense amount of grit and emotional strength on their part to overcome such an ordeal.

These abusers may actually be someone who may have cared for them, or someone who may have been dealing with their own issues in such negative way or just a manipulative piece of shit who cares only themselves and don’t give a damn about how their words and actions have destroyed someone that they may have claimed to care for.

The process of healing is slow and painful. There may or may not be any physical injuries but the degree of hurt that has been cast on their minds takes a different duration for different people depending on the extent of trauma, the support from genuine well-wishers and their own strength.

that last message hit me a little bit,, it’s not intentional but I feel like I tend to hide my emotions on social media because I’m kinda always going through something and tend to overanalyze everything I do. this is probably due to my anxiety / perfectionism ocd / various insecurities but I just want you guys to know I truly care so much about my viewers and what I’m doing with my platform. staying genuine and truly connecting with people who enjoy my content is the most fulfilling thing on earth. I love what I do and I want you to know I never intend on selling out or changing how much I interact with you all. so much love. 

IM SO IN LOVE???

Can we just take a moment and talk about how the cast just stayed on that stage getting on their knees twisting their bodies in weird positions so fans can get selfies and they can sign everything, and when their boss told them it was time to go they actively ignored it and kept going trying to get every single person. & This is not the first time this cast has done this, they do it everywhere they are allowed to. That’s not apart of the gig!! Always remember that, they are doing that because they want to. They want to hug you and hear you and take selfies with you and sign your stuff. Make it a point to thank them for stuff like that because they don’t have to, their job is done once the panel is, but they always stay because they genuinely care. We are incredibly lucky to have such incredible humans as a cast, every single one of them is humbled by fans and always grateful to meet them. I know that they are lucky to have us but we are just as lucky to have them.

So apparently sometime between last night and earlier today, my favorite fic author deleted her blog, orphaned all of her work, and deleted her ao3 account. This is absolutely devastating to me. Her fics were one of my primary coping mechanisms. I was stupid and didn’t memorize the titles or bookmark my favorites, because it was so easy to go to her account and find them. Now they’re lost to me, over 100 fics that I loved. I know she had to have had a good reason to do this, I have an idea of what it was, and I don’t hold it against her. If I’m lucky she’ll start writing again one day and I’ll stumble across her like I did the first time. For now if anyone has fics by Lady Face Elena bookmarked that they can link me to, or has any good fic recommendations, I would be beyond grateful.

Yoga!

So I just got back from Yoga, it was an hour and a half session. I’m sad to say I really didn’t enjoy it. I actually wanted to come home after half an hour but I decided to stick it out to the end. I’m not really sure why I didn’t enjoy it. I felt a bit insecure as I was the only ‘new’ beginner and everyone knew each other. However, I did remain mindful and used my DBT skills to notice my negative judgements, accept my feelings and continue to stay present.

I genuinely feel like I preferred Pilates to Yoga. It was a bit too intense for me and not as meditative and mindful as I wanted it to be. But at least I tried it once. Even though it wasn’t for me, I’m happy I was willing to go and take my therapists advice.