❛ I’d rather die on an adventure than live standing still. ❜
❛ After all, you can kill people, but you cannot kill magic. Not truly. ❜
❛ Impossible. What a useless word, in a world with magic. ❜
❛ Everyone thinks I have a death wish, you know? But I don’t want to die – dying is easy. No, I want to live, but getting close to death is the only way to feel alive. And once you do, it makes you realize that everything you were actually doing before wasn’t actually living. It was just making do. Call me crazy, but I think we do the best living when the stakes are high. ❜
❛ You have two faces. One you wear for the world at large, and the one you wear for those you love. ❜
❛ Everyone’s immortal until they’re not. ❜
❛ It is as it is. It cannot be undone. So please, be grateful, and be done with it. ❜
❛ The thing about freedom? It doesn’t come naturally. Almost no one has it handed to them. I’m free because I fought for it. ❜
❛ I know you can do this. I know you can hear me. Stay with me. Listen to my voice. ❜
❛ Maybe you just got a taste of what it really means to be alive. You almost died. So now you know what it feels like to live. To fear for that life. To fight for it. And once you know, well, there’s no going back. ❜
❛ You made a mistake. Everybody makes them. Even me. I’ve made many. It’s only fair that you made one. ❜
❛ I did only what I had to do. If I could have given my life for yours, I would have. ❜
❛ A kiss for luck. Not that I need it. ❜
❛ I know. I know what and who you are. What will you do? Kill me? ❜
❛ Why am I the only one in this fucking world to be held accountable for my actions? ❜
❛ Aren’t you afraid of dying? ❜
❛ I’m sorry. For whatever happened to you. For whoever hurt you so deeply that you see things like friends and fondness as weapons instead of shields. ❜
❛ You know so little of war. Battles may be fought from the outside in, but wars are won from the inside out. ❜
❛ Between the two of us, we’ll tear the whole world down. ❜
❛ I am going to cut that smile off your face. ❜
❛ It hurts. More than dying ever did. There are days when I feel like I deserve this. ❜
❛ Death doesn’t scare me. Not nearly as much as the idea of wasting a perfectly good life in fear of it. ❜
❛ You’re always so eager to slash and stab, why couldn’t you have stabbed him. ❜
❛ Which is it, huh? You’re angry at me, or worried about me, or happy to see me? Because I can’t keep up. ❜
❛ Wouldn’t it be amazing, if we got away with it? ❜
description: in which you let him do as he pleases with you
warnings: dom/sub dynamic, daddy kink, spitting, bondage, honestly this is just pure and utter filth
notes: this is a combination of a request i received, and inspired by this ask.
“Why did I agree to this?
That was the thought, the only thought, that kept replaying in your head over and over. Why had you agreed to this?
In the beginning, it had sounded like fun. Wicked, sinful fun. You had been the one to bring it up, after all. You’d gone to your lover and proposed the idea. And he, ever the sinner, had eagerly agreed. The decision was mutual, and when he had asked you if he could do anything he desired to you, within reason and boundary, you had told him yes.
But now here you were, naked, writhing, trembling. He was above you, a devious smile on his handsome face. And in that moment, with his pale eyes burning right into your own, you were beginning to regret even suggesting this whole thing. He was punishing you in the most wonderfully painful way imaginable, and you weren’t sure how much longer you could handle it.
Hey! I recently started following you because as I read your headcanons I just fell for them, love them so much! 😍😍😍 So I wanted to say this and wanted to do a request, if you don't feel like it you can just skip it. I want to see in your eyes if RFA+Minor trio (everyone in mysme 😂) saw MC got shot from a 5 mt away (like she is right outside a market and when rfa+minor trio walks out from the shop they see her got shot. The reason is in your imagination! Cause I love your imagination way😍
Thank you so much, hun! I’m so glad you enjoy my writing, and my imagination for that!
I made it a happy ending but there is some angst in it too! Just enough to give us feels, I think. We all need some fluff and angst xD Thank you! I hope you like it, and happy New Year!
Trigger Warning: mass shootings – please do not read if this subject makes you uncomfortable. My intention is not to upset anyone, but to touch on a real life issue that sadly happen around the world, especially in the United States. You have been warned, thank you.
RFA + Minor Trio MC getting shot
★ Yoosung ★
Yoosung never knew what true fear was until he heard the sound of the gunshot and saw you on the ground besides your car.
Another gunshot went off, and people were screaming as they rushed to hide from the gunman who came barging into the hospital.
He should have been trying to hide, but he couldn’t. He had to get to you.
Even with being shot in the leg, it didn’t stop him from getting to you. When he finally did, you were alive, but terribly hurt and in a lot of pain.
He quickly called 911, holding onto you, absolutely terrified that if he would let you go for a second you may slip away from him.
“Stay with me,” he sobbed into your hair, “Just stay with me, honey.”
When the ambulance finally arrived, Yoosung was screaming at the top of his lungs when they tried to separate you two and put you in different emergency vehicles. Zen, who happened to be at rehearsals a few blocks away from the shooting, had to pry Yoosung away from you as you were lifted in a stretcher and rushed to the hospital by a helicopter.
Three people died in the shooting, but you survived after a couple surgeries. Yoosung survived too, however, his leg had to be amputated. But his wounds were still the least of his concerns. All he could think about laying in his bed was whether you were alright.
After a couple of hours, nurses wheeled you into the room with him, and when he saw that besides the fact you were tired and bruised up, that you were ok, he just burst into tears.
He couldn’t believe that something like this happened.
He reached weakly for your hand, in which you tearfully grasped it back. “You’re ok, I’m so glad you’re ok,” he says.
“Yoosung, you must be in so much pain,” you wail. He just shakes his head, giving your hand a tight squeeze.
“No, I’m in no pain. I’m with you, so how could I be in pain?”
♪ Zen ♪
He never thought someone would be so crazy as to burst through the studio doors with a gun, shooting at everyone in it’s view.
Certainly not from a member of the light crew who was fired after being caught harassing an actress.
Never in yours or Zen’s wildest dreams did he think something like this would ever happen.
Zen was the one to tackle the man down, prying the gun out of his hand and holding him down with all force necessary until the police came.
But that was only because a bullet had been shot straight through your right shoulder, and you had fallen to the ground on top of him. Zen wanted to scream and shout and cry, because it should have been him in front of you, shielding you from the bullets. He was just thankful he was at least able to catch you from falling to the ground.
At the hospital, Zen put up a bit of fit when they had to separate him from you to get you into surgery. It was Jumin who had to calm him down and talk some sense into him.
“If you keep acting like this, they will kick you out. So calm down. She’s going to need you when she is out of surgery.”
Zen sat anxiously in the waiting room, his leg bouncing up and down and sweat dripping down his face as he waited for his name to be called so he could see you.
When it finally was, he leaped out of the chair and followed the nurse at a quick pace, the other RFA members doing the same.
It broke his heart when he saw you asleep in the hospital bed, tubes connected to you and your shoulder bandaged up. He felt like crying, but he held his tears back and decided to be strong for you. He didn’t want you to wake up and see him a crying mess. He needed to be there for you, to comfort you, and make sure you were ok.
Your eyes slowly opened back up, and you saw Zen besides the hospital bed with his head down. “Zen?” you muttered. “What happened?”
He looked up and gently took your hand, bending down to kiss your forehead.
“There was… an accident. I’ll explain it to you when you’re a little more awake and well rested. Please, just rest now. You need all the rest you can get. And I’ll be right here, beside you, and I’ll make sure nothing like this ever happens again.”
❀ Jaehee ❀
Absolute horror appeared on Jaehee’s face as she watched you crumble to the ground behind the counter.
Before she could even react, another shot had been fired at a woman eating cake by the window of the cafe.
Jaehee wanted to run to you to make sure you were ok, or just alive, but behind her was a frightened child who Jaehee could not abandon. So she crouched down and shielded the child, wrapping her arms around the small form of the little boy, and waited out the shots.
The gunman took all the money he was after and left, and Jaehee and the little boy had been left unscarred, as well as some other customers. But the room smelled of fresh blood, and all could be heard were the anguished screams.
Jaehee got to your side, and you were alive, barely. She held onto your hand the entire time waiting for the ambulance to arrive, and she stayed with you all the way to till the hospital.
At the hospital she broke down, her body racking with sobs as she waited and prayed that you would be ok and that you would survive this.
Jumin, of all people, was the one to comfort her, awkwardly putting his arm around her and promising that he would pay for all medical expensive, and even hinted to funeral ones as well if anything came to that.
Luckily, a funeral, for you, would not be happening.
After a few hours and a couple surgeries later, you awoke, woozy and disoriented, but you were alive.
Jaehee cried besides you, holding your hand and telling you how sorry she was that this happened.
“I wish I saw it coming.”
“I wish we didn’t open the cafe today.”
“I… I just… I’m so sorry. This shouldn’t have happened.”
You smiled tearfully at your wife and squeezed her hand weakly.
With little strength, you pulled her hand to your lips and give it a gentle kiss.
“Jaehee, I’m ok. We are ok. We are going to need time to heal, but we have each other and all the time to do that. Please tell me those who were at the cafe are alright. Please?”
☂ Jumin ☂
It was a cruel way an ex-worker decided to get back at Jumin Han for firing him – targeting you while you while you were out shopping.
Jumin fired every bodyguard who was there with you that day.
They were trained for instances like this. They were there to protect you. And yet somehow you ended up with a bullet in your hip, now in the hospital having surgery.
Jumin was furious. He had the whole city shut down until the gunman was found after having gotten away from the incompetent bodyguards.
He was this close from firing every single one, even if they weren’t there, but V stopped him, comforting his friend.
Jumin blamed himself for this. For sending you out without better protection and for not being there to guard you himself.
“You’re angry and upset, I understand. Please, please, if there is one think you have taught me is to not blame myself for every bad thing that happens to a loved one. Do not blame yourself for this.”
You were incredibly disoriented and confused when you came to in the hospital bed. The last thing you could remember was being at the mall, shopping for a gift to give to Jumin.
And then everything was black. Then white.
He was at your side in moments, pushing nurses out of the way as they tended to machines hooked up to you.
He began to ramble about how you couldn’t move and how you were in the hospital, and nurses awkwardly tried to move him out of the way so they could get to you. V had to pull him out of the room as you fell back out of consciousness.
You remained in the hospital for two days before you were released. When you were able to go back home with Jumin, you were absolutely terrified to leave his side. And he was ok with you always besides him. He felt better, and he felt like he had more of a chance to protect you.
This was something the both of you would have to heal from together.
☺ Seven/Saeyoung ☺
The world stopped.
For a single moment in time, the world around him had stopped and the only two people were you and him. But he was standing sturdily, and you were on the ground in a heap as you writhed in pain with a bullet nestled in your lower abdomen.
The third gunshot pulled him out of his daze, and he darted to your side.
“Shh Baby, baby, it’s ok, it’s ok.”
“Keep your eyes on me, just keep looking at me.”
“Don’t think about anything else. Just me.”
“You’re going to be ok.”
Having been an agent for a long time, he knew how to do first aid, and he knew how to remove a bullet as well as stop the blood.
The pain was excruciating as he removed the bullet and bandaged you up with his jacket.
He could still hear gunshots in the distance, so he knew this wasn’t another agent who had finally caught up to Seven.
No, this was just some crazy bastard shooting at anyone in his sight.
He lifted you up bridal style and cradled you against his chest as he ran out of the town center in which you were at for lunch.
He brought you to his car. For once, he didn’t care if one of his babies would get dirty.
He was a little conflicted. He knew you needed stitches for your wound, but he didn’t want to take you to a hospital only because he knew what a risk it would be.
“Shit,” he spat as he made his final decision and zoomed back to the bunker.
He busted through the door, screaming for Vanderwood and Saeran, who both had a look of horror on their faces when they saw you bleeding against him.
The three of them got to stitching you up. Vanderwood was in charge of the needle and thread, Saeran was in charge of pain medicine, and Saeyoung was in charge of comforting and keeping you calm.
After the whole ordeal was over, you had fallen asleep on the couch, Saeyoung watching over you. He broke down, sobbing to his brother about how scared he was and the thought he almost lost you just terrifying.
“Yeah, but you didn’t. And you won’t. So stop crying. You don’t get to cry.”
Saeyoung nodded, wiping at his eyes and kneeling before you. He kissed your forehead then rested his head on the couch besides yours. Saeran was right, he hadn’t lost you, and he won’t.
❆ V ❆
Nothing felt real. The ever-so-calm V felt nothing near serenity as he bolted to your side.
You were lucky that the bullet only hit your ankle, since the gunman had a terrible shot.
Even so, you were in agony and withered around on the hard gravel. V’s entire body shook as he dialed emergency services.
He took your hand and let you squeeze it whenever you felt a rush of pain, which seemed to be every second.
His hand hurt terribly but he knew it couldn’t amount to the pain you were in.
The police came in no time and you were rushed to a hospital. V felt a sudden anger and wanted to stay to help the police find the gunman, but rationally the police turned him down, and V quickly realized he needed to be with you at all costs.
“V, I’m scared,” you said softly in the ambulance.
Of course you were scared. V rubbed just bellow your hairline, his thumb caressing your forehead. He gave you a soft smile.
“I know you are. But you are doing so well. So well. We’ll be at the hospital soon. Just continue to squeeze my hand and do not strain yourself.”
It was hard recovering from the shooting; you lost your foot, the both of you had vivid nightmares, as well as both of you getting insomnia.
But the two of you were able to gradually recover together, taking the time you both needed, and reassuring each other you two were safe and unscathed.
☻ Saeran/Unknown ☻
Saeran killed the man.
That man could have killed you.
The second the bullet went straight within in your stomach, Saeran was screaming and pouncing on the man who flung the gun around, shooting aimlessly at random people.
Saeran really did pummel the man the death for dare disturbing the peace of the ice cream parlor, for dare trying to hurt innocent people, but most importantly, for dare trying to hurt you.
Though Saeran was titled a hero by the city hall, he didn’t feel like one,
Because he hadn’t been able to protect you,
He hadn’t been able to stop the bullet from nestling itself within your abdomen.
For the first time ever, he prayed to god and went to church, and preached his thanks that you survived, but you were in a comma, and he begged the lord to let you come out of it, to let you be ok, to let him be able to comfort you.
For the whole month of you in the hospital, deep in slumber, Saeran completely shut down.
Visions of you falling limp in his arms as the gun pointed straight at you, firing it’s shot plagued his dreams, keeping him from having a restful sleep.
Whenever he had a nightmare, you would be there to soothe him, wrapping your warm arms around him and holding him against you.
But you weren’t there because of everything that happened in his dream.
And the bed felt so empty.
First the first time ever, Saeran would find comfort in his brother, weeping his sorrows and screaming how much he wanted you back, and how much he hated what had happened, and how he needed you to be ok.
How scared he was, how terrified he was.
“She has to be ok. I can’t lose her, I can’t lose her, I can’t, I can’t!”
“Don’t take her from me God. Please.”
“Put me in her place, I’m begging you.”
“I can’t lose her.”
Seven didn’t even know what to say at first because he knew he couldn’t promise to his brother that you would be completely alright.
So he just held his brother and let him cry.
A heavy weight was lifted off of Saeran shoulder, by what he thought could only have been an angels doing at this rate, when the hospital called to tell him you were awake and besides being very tired and weak, in good health.
Saeran let out a sob as they told him the first thing you said was his name, and that you had began to call out for him, and cried when you thought something happened to him at the parlor.
He fell to your side, a weak spot of himself he always tries to hide now showing, bawling as he clung to you.
The both of you clung to each other.
“I thought I lost you,” you sobbed.
Saeran smiled against your cheek, kissing it lightly. “I thought the same for you. But I didn’t. And I won’t ever. We’ll never lose each other.”
✌ Vanderwood ✌
His first reaction when he heard the first gunshot was to protect you, but as he pounced on you to shield your from the bullets, he realized you had been the victim of the first shot.
As he laid on top of you, careful of where the bullet had nestled itself just below your hip, he wondered if this was the agencies doing, and if they had caught up to him.
But as he looked around at the screaming people, a few more bodies fall to the ground, he realized it was nothing but a heinous crime, a mass shooting, and nothing he could have prevented if not being with you.
It was his turn to fight when he saw the gunman strutting towards you two. You were still beneath him, barely holding onto consciousness, and Vanderwood was reaching into his holster, pulling out a gun he brought around with him for safe keeping.
God, he was glad he did.
As the gunman prepared to shoot once again, this time at Vanderwood, in a split second Vanderwood had his gun pointed at the man, and he shot, killing the man on impact as the bullet went straight between his eyes.
As other people around him were disoriented and scared, Vanderwood used this moment to scoop you up and run you back to his car parked somewhere on a corner on the outbreak of town.
He strapped you in, and kept you talking to him so you didn’t fall asleep.
Back at the bunker, with the help of Seven, he was able to remove the bullet and stitch you up. He was grateful that you did not lose a lot of blood, because then he would have needed to take you to a hospital, risking the safety of you, Seven, and him.
When the rushed stitching was done, you were exhausted and panting as you tried to focus on Vanderwood who was standing in front of you, blood on his coat.
You tried to speak to him, but he shushed you by gently placing his lips against yours, whispering softly into your ear, “Don’t try to speak. You can rest now.”
He carried you to the spare bedroom in the bunker; he wanted to get you back to yours and his apartment as soon as possible but he knew trying to move you too far at this moment would be too much of a strain.
He tucked you in, and within seconds of being laid in the bed you were asleep.
Vanderwood never left your side that night. He rested his head in his hands as he re-lived everything of that day in his thoughts. He got no sleep that night. Too afraid that something could happen even though he knew chances now were slim.
“You’re ok,” he mumbled, though he knew you couldn’t hear him. But it was more of a comfort to him. A reassurance that you were ok, and that he would make sure you were always ok.
Requests are closed right now, but to find rules of requests you can check out my masterlist page!
You froze as you heard you father’s voice and looked down to
see him standing on a walkway, staring ahead. Standing in front of him with his
back turned, was your brother.
Pushing away from the column—paying no mind to any
Stormtroopers that might have been there—you made your way towards Chewie, who
lowly growled in worry. Despite being higher up, you could still feel the
tension between your father and brother.
“Han Solo.” The tone in his voice was low—the way it would
be if you were speaking to an enemy. “I’ve been waiting for this day a long
time.” Your father’s boots heavily hit against the metal of the walkway.
In honor of Jaebum’s birthday here’s a JB sugar daddy smut I wrote a while back!
You X JB (GOT7)
Disclaimer: Smut. Usage of Daddy. Dont read if this kind of thing offends you.
You sat in the taxi cab staring out the window, wondering
where the hell you were going. Jaebum sent you a white envelope with a gold
seal on the back of it. He was so rich the seal had “Im Jaebum” engraved on it.
Inside was the address to a hotel and a
time to meet him. He even sent the hotel
key card. The envelope smelled like his cologne, which made a knot in your
throat. It was like he knew all the
right things to do to make you want him.
You were a little nervous about meeting him at a hotel. It
wasn’t like you knew much about him. He could be a serial killer for all you
know. But between the deep conversations
over the phone and the fancy restaurants he took you to, you really liked him.
You weren’t looking for anything serious. Especially because you knew your ex
wanted you back. You wasn’t really sure how you felt about that. Jaebum had to
have other women. Right? I mean with his
black hair, his cute eye smile, and gorgeous face he had to have a couple of
girls on the side. You couldn’t be the only one.
This was a request from @roleplaymeranda , hope you like it :)
You were antsy, waiting for Jungkook at home. This was the third night in a row that he’d gone out with his co workers. You were glad that he had friends at his new job. He had honestly worried so much about starting to teach at this new school. It was new and prestigious and he’d only graduated two years ago, but he had rocked his interview just like you knew he would.
You two had been married for a year and three months and even had a little dog named, Buster. It was true, the first year of marriage was hard. Despite the fact that you had dated for four years before he asked you to marry him. You’d met in college but you knew him before you’d became friends.
You had seen him in one of your classes a semester before one of your friends, Jimin, had introduced you. You thought he was gorgeous. You were in a class of over one hundred people and you sat toward the side, in the middle, near the door. Jungkook had sat in the front row, in the middle. He was very sweet and always ready to answer questions, the teacher loved him. Luckily, you had taken a class pretty much exactly like it in high school because you definitely didn’t pay attention to anything but him.
“You want to tell me what the hell’s going on, Dean?”
Cas has been gone for all of thirty seconds, but Sam is
determined to get to the bottom of it.
“Dunno what you’re talking about,” Dean says brusquely. He
finishes putting the fridge stuff away and grabs a beer, twisting the cap off
and flinging it across the room.
Sam heaves a frustrated sigh. “I’m talking about whatever-
“Sam,” Mary says warningly.
Dean brushes past Sam and heads towards the living area.
“No, don’t walk away from me,” Sam snaps, following him.
“We’re gonna talk about this.”
“What? What exactly are we gonna talk about, Sam?” Dean shrugs.
“I don’t have anything to say.” He flops onto the couch and lifts his feet up
onto the table, crossing one ankle over the other, refusing to make eye contact
with his brother.
Aries Sun, Aquarius Moon:
"I won't let you close enough to hurt me."
Taurus Sun, Virgo Moon:
"The very things that hold you down are going to lift you up."
Gemini Sun, Aquarius Moon:
"I already know I'm going to hell. At this point it's either go big or go home."
Cancer Sun, Scorpio Moon:
"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."
Leo Sun, Aquarius Moon:
"I'm almost never serious, and am always too serious. Too deep, too shallow. Too sensitive, too cold hearted. I am like a collection of paradoxes."
Virgo Sun, Pisces Moon:
"Don't just dream it, be it."
Libra Sun, Virgo Moon:
"So you plant your garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers."
Scorpio Sun, Pisces Moon:
"Some people just can't fit into your life, no matter how much you want them to."
Capricorn Sun, Aries Moon:
"Stay close to anything that makes you glad you're alive."
Aquarius Sun, Gemini Moon:
"You were born an original, don't die a copy."
Pisces Sun, Pisces Moon:
"So, I guess we are who we are for a lot of reasons. And maybe we'll never know most of them. But even if we don't have the power to choose where we come from, we can still choose where we go from there. We can still do things. And we can try to feel okay about them."
How long had you been into him? A quick digging through your memory told you three years, your unconscious said more. Three long years, yet your feelings hadn’t died.
“How late will you be back?” You leaned into the door frame, arms folded across your chest. It was a bad attempt at figuring out how much time you had to rob the storage room under the house and get wasted, without embarrassing yourself in front of other people. That, and you didn’t want your brother to find out about your drinking habits. Some things should stay secret.
Your brother raised his eyebrows, but decided not to ask any questions. Honestly, he never cared what you were up to whenever he was absent. The only thing he cared about is that you were still alive and hadn’t broken down the house. To him, you were nothing but a shadow cast on the wall, contrary to what your parents had taught him. He was rather indifferent to you, which, to be honest, was positive, as you rather had that than him always creeping around so he could watch your every move.
He mumbled something, then shrugged. “When I’m fucked up enough, I guess. Yoongi’ll have to decide when that is.”
Request: Hey there! I’m from France and I just discovered your feed and your imagines and lmao i’m even more in love with it than Bellamy Blake though, could u pleeease if one day you accept requests again make an imagine where the reader and Bellamy reunite after 6 years in space like in the end of season 4 and they were dating before… make him overprotective❣❣❣❣
Your eyes stay on the horizon, trying to put a visual to the sound of the ship you can hear but can’t see. Could it be Bellamy? After all these years? Your chest won’t stop screaming with each beat of your excited heart.
“There!” Clarke shouts, her arm outstretched to a black silhouette in a patch of blue sky, “Is it them?”
Pairing: Rhaegar Targaryen x Fem!Reader (who I wished I could’ve turned gender neutral, but it didn’t go together with the request)
Reguest by @zeetao-hime : Well, if it’s too dark, i’ll change the request =3. The only thing that doesn’t change is Elia’s death, but how she died is your choice. After a few months, everyone is invited to the tourney in Harrenhal and when Rhaegar wins, he names the reader as the queen of love and beauty and proposes to her in front of everyone. Her family wants her to accept (and i still want a kiss in the end)
Note: I completely forgot that he was suposed to ask her in front of everyone, sorry; I hope you like it anyways. And please excuse it there are any errors regarding how the actual event played out, I can’t remember reading much about it and this will probably be as good as it gets from my part.
Trigger warning: The reader gets a little hurt, there’s a little blood. Nothing bad.
It was the last day of the tourney in Harrenhal. You had gotten most of the days off, almost everyone in the castle had, and you had used it to the fullest. Preparing yourself a little extra in the morning, to look good for the occasion, then meeting up with your friends to stroll around the area, chat and look in shops. Then finding your seats in good time with your family to enjoy the show.
As your family were nobles, though not the most important ones, you had been arranged with seats that gave you a good view over the arena, Lord Whalter Whent and his maiden daughter for whom this whole party was thrown (and she was still named the Queen of love and beauty, her brothers had defended that title well for her) and the royal family. Prince Rhaegar’s two sons were enthralled by the knights in shining armors already being seen preparing at each end of the arena (and sending each other not so friendly looks). They knew that their father would be up soon, everything they could hope and know to be like. And for a second the music, pretty people and festivities seemed to make them forget that their mother wasn’t sitting beside them.
Yoongi thought he would have finished something by now. A guide, a rough draft, a melody, ten seconds of something, anything — but tonight, he only has the way you make him feel when it’s raining and the way your eyelashes look as you sleep on his couch. Cozy under a wool blanket, you are radiant — every inch of you, all the time, anywhere — and he still sometimes can’t believe you are real and alive and his.
He had been staring at a spot below his screen for half an hour already, a little dazed and distracted by your gentle, even breathing. In his cold studio, you are the warm spot on his back, reminding him that he isn’t alone and that he shouldn’t keep you there until three in the morning; he has to take you back to your place. It only stuns him that you manage to make him feel good even when you’re not beside him or pressed against him, when you’re not even doing anything but just existing.
This night was shaping up to be one of the fruitless dozens he has had. The fact that he still couldn’t write or produce anything about you bothered him to no end. He didn’t have to, the pressure was self-inflicted, and he had other songs to develop, but he wondered why inspiration wasn’t shaping up into something he can present to you as a gift — especially when you were so wonderful, when you give yourself so freely to him. He still believes music is the only thing he is truly good at, and so it is only natural that he is determined to make music for you.
In many ways you are like him, similar to the ideal type he had to describe over and over again during interviews — but god, you’re so much more than that.
You are the only person he knows that still carries handkerchiefs with your initials embroidered on them. You confidently whip out the steel straw you always carry in your bag whenever you eat out, politely asking servers not to bring you anything made of plastic. We have to leave our world better than we found it, you always say. You also tried to explain to him why you thought your new menstrual cup was a revelation, and while that conversation made him uncomfortable, doubtful that this information is relevant to him, he was just happy that you now wore your beguiling lingerie all month long (and sometimes none at all, you naughty girl).
You are also charming and creative with your love. Yoongi can count the number of times you’ve told him you love him with one hand, throughout the years you’ve been together, but he doesn’t mind this — not when you’ve made him look forward to the pots of little flowers you bring and discreetly position in his studio whenever you visit him. Chamomile, forget-me-nots, daffodils, baby’s breath, sweet pea. You do this for him, but he also knows you do this because you miss your mother, who taught you to see the beauty in humble, finite things. Somehow you’ve made the bits and subtleties in his life seem bigger and more meaningful. And when you leave, a part of you stays with him, watches over him, imbues the air with sweetness.
Surprisingly, you read more than Namjoon — thick, heavy books with splitting spines that talk about the world and the human mind and potentialities Yoongi finds too academic and exhausting to dwell on for too long. He tried (and failed) to keep up with your pace, and kept inserting himself between you and that damn brain during group dinners — not so much because he was jealous (he would never own up to this) but more so you would actually eat and drink instead of straining your voice from talking all night long. While this makes him feel a little inadequate against Namjoon, he is glad he gets to see you so passionate and articulate, and that you get along well with his brothers.
He also finds it impossibly endearing that since you’re normally so quiet and reserved and straight to the point, it doesn’t take a lot of words and volume until you start sounding a little husky. At this point, you will start using your body to communicate with him — clutching his thigh under the table to let him know you wanted to call it a night, your hand inching higher up his leg as your lips teased the sweet spot behind his ear, not caring that the cab driver kept glancing your way. In the bedroom, your beautiful mouth lavishes him lewdly, lovingly. It’s unbelievable how much you love his cock in any state — when you stare at it shamelessly in a crowded room, when it’s hard and raging inside you, when it’s soft and you just want to hold it while you watch television with him. You are similarly not devout, but when you worship him using your body, he feels as if something divine has touched him, blessed him, irrevocably altered the course of his life. This connection you build with him is something he finds profoundly sensual, and he uses everything he has to draw out the last threads of your voice to gasp and beg and moan his name and make you want him until you’re overwhelmed and delirious. The morning after, you make ginger tea for yourself and pack him a thermos to bring to rehearsal.
Supple and fragrant and so attuned to his touch, you are — and this is something he holds close to his heart. Slowly and surely, you took the time to learn how he likes things in certain ways and conditioned your body to remember, to respond in kind that excited him immensely. Your intelligence and mighty heart made it so. You come to him easily, you take charge when you want to, and you yield in the most delicious ways. With you, Yoongi feels steady and thrilled, peacefully content yet hungry for more, always more.
And arguably, the most pleasing of all — Holly really, really, really likes you.
He sighs deeply, convincing himself that he’s done for the night, and swivels his chair around to look at you — ninety percent bundle, ten percent bed head. He quietly wheels himself closer to you, knowing he has to wake you up in a while — but a few more minutes of peace wouldn’t hurt.
His lack of progress could be because it seems inconceivable to turn the beauty and complexity and truth of you into a few verses strung together with music. How do you fit the ocean in a glass? How do you fit the universe in the palm of your hand? Maybe he should ask Namjoon for help (or not).
He strokes your cheek hoping for an answer, and you stir, still asleep, into his touch. But there is only silence inside his head again, and the memory of raindrops on your eyelashes and the first time you called him your best friend.
In the thick of this drought, he smiles at you and stops worrying, as he is certain of one truth, the most important thing: you make him want to try and try and try and try and try until he gets it right. You make him dream and reach for the impossible. You will adore him anyway, song or no song.
Martha and Gigi left not long ago. I asked them to come over for dinner so we could hang, and then they ended up staying longer when I offered them a glass of wine and my life as a topic of conversation. It was nice to actually forget Joe for a few hours, although he had to come up during our conversation….
You woke up in a cool grey room with no visible windows or doors. The cot you were laying on was hard and very uncomfortable. The lights on the ceiling illuminated every crack and pattern on the floor, walls and ceiling. You looked down and found yourself still in your black uniform. Almost all of your pockets and compartments have been searched, but there were still some pockets left undisturbed. You opened one of the compartments and looked at your tracking device that you always left on. Why in the world are you in Gotham? That’s when you remembered what happened.
You jumped out of the cot and started to pace while cursing in many of the languages you are acquainted with. Damian had ordered Nightwing to take you to the manor and that means you were close to Batman. What if Damian has told him about you? You swore that you would never involve yourself with him again but it seems that Damian is a stubborn ass. You punched the wall in anger and left a dent. You slid your fingers through your hair and realized you didn’t have your helmet on. The helmet could not be seen in the room, but you still had your mask on that covered most of your face. A piece of the wall slid opened and revealed Damian.
(This whole conversation with Damian is in Arabic) “Why did you do this?” you asked him, “I did not return to him for a reason and now you threw all of that out of the window!!”
“You needed to return. I did not tell him anything, but he does know that you’re here,” Damian said.
“Wonderful!! Let’s just tell him another one of his dead partners is alive and has Batman issues!!!” you shouted while throwing your arms up, “I chose to stay in the League because of two things: to watch over you and never see Bruce again. When Jason died he almost killed the Joker!! Then Jason returned as the Red Hood and tormented him. Do you think I want to repeat that?!?! I just wanted him to move on and live his life! Now he has to go through that all over again because you are too stubborn to realize that I did this for him!!”
Tears were running down your eyes by the time you were done talking. You sat on the cot and held your head in your hands. You haven’t cried ever since you were resurrected and it was not comforting. You always hated to cry because it involves too much emotion. Damian sat next to you and hugged you. You did not return the hug but Damian still held onto you tightly.
“It is not right to keep this from him and you know it. My father gave you a home and a family, but you still refuse to let him know that you are alive. I did this so we can put our family back together.”
Damian broke the hug and walked towards the piece of wall he came through. You remained still as you waited for him to come. Two pairs of footsteps were echoing in the corridor and you knew who they were. Damian went by your side as Bruce and Dick walk into the room still in uniform. He grabbed the mask and removed it. You flinched but never attempted to stop him. You let out a shaky breath and looked at them. They both froze and you looked back at the ground.
“(Y/N)?” Dick spoke up while taking off his mask.
You nodded and refused to make eye contact with them, especially with Bruce. Dick ran up to you and lifted you into a gigantic bone-crushing bear hug. He was slightly shaking and tears were soaking the fabric on your shoulder. He didn’t let go until you relaxed and returned the hug.
“Where have you been?”
His eyes were red and tears were still falling down his cheeks. You looked away and didn’t respond.
“She has been carrying out her duties, Grayson,” Damian said, “while avoiding the two of you, father especially.”
You didn’t even bother to glare at him because it was true. Dick looked at Damian before his brows furrowed.
“You knew she was alive the whole time and didn’t tell us!” he shouted while pointing his finger at Damian.
You grabbed his hand and pulled it down, “He didn’t tell you because I told him not to. If you’re going to blame someone, blame me.”
You looked over to Bruce and sighed, “I was resurrected a month or two after I died.”
He walked up to you and pulled you close. Dick joined Damian at the wall and waited for your moment to end.
“I don’t care how long you’ve been gone or what you have done, I’m just glad you’re alive.”
“That’s it? I have been avoiding you for years and you just welcome me back?” you said, “How can you just forgive me so easily?”
I really wish I could just roll over and go to sleep. I can’t, I can’t roll over, and I can’t go to sleep. I’m not really awake either. I’m not asleep and I’m not awake. My name is Will Byers and I have been in a coma for 5 months, one week, 3 days and 13 hours. I know the hours because my brother Johnathan got me a talking clock the 4th day in here, it tells me the hours.
Okay I can hear what you’re think, well not really, but I can image, so stop it! don’t you go feeling bad for me. I spent way too long feeling bad for myself, it was depressing. So I’ve decided to try and focus on the positives. There are more than you might think. I’m alive for one thing.
My mom brother and me got into a car wreck. It was horrible, the car flipping over and over. Mom broke her arm and I was really scared for her. I didn’t realize I was the one in trouble till we got to the hospital and threw up blood. I had to get rushed into surgery, and that’s when I met Nurse Jackson. She held my hand and told me it’d be okay and she’d be right there when I woke up. I feel kinda bad about that because I didn’t wake up, and I know she wants to be there when it happens.
Sorry I was being positive! Nurse Jackson is a positive, she’s really nice. She always talks to me when she’s in my room. She doesn’t talk like I’m a baby or stupid the way a lot of people do, she just talks like I’m awake and answering back. She’s always really gentle and says sorry when she needs to stick me with a needle. Some of the night nurses aren’t as careful. Nurse Jackson is how I know what’s going on in the hospital, I think she gossips more about the doctors and other nurses then she would if I was awake. She sings a lot when she isn’t talking she’s in her church’s choir. Sometimes she just stays late and reads to me.
Nurse Jackson is my favorite, but Nurse Gomez is a close second. He’s all energy comes in talking a mile a minute. He talks like we’ve known each other for years and I’m another 30 year old gay guy not a 13 year old boy. So I know maybe a little more about his life than my mom would like but I don’t mind, I’m just happy he talks. It’s funny I know about his boyfriend, his dogs, his landlord, the ex from hell, his Christian sister, but I don’t know what he looks like. Nurse Jackson was the last person I really met, I “met” Nurse Gomez after, I’ve never seen his face.
Another positive is that my mom and Johnathan visit a lot, I’m in the pediatric ward in Indianapolis about an hour from home in Hawkins. Mom cries a lot and I wish she wouldn’t, I try really hard to move, to wake up when she cries. I never can and that makes me feel shitty. Johnathan is better he talks some, about stuff we did together. Best thing though is he made sure my room had a boombox and lots of good music. Though the nurses only play it with the volume turned way down. It’s not really the same to listen to The Clash when they’re whispering.
A lot of what you know about hospitals isn’t really right. I’ll leave out the gross stuff, thats embarrassing enough without you all knowing. I bet you’re imagining a machine beeping with my heart rate right? and the machine is there but they only beep when something is going wrong. Really it’s very quiet, I can hear the machines humming softly, the drip drip of my IV, “Should I Stay or Should I Go?” is playing very softly.
I hear it out in the hall way, click, click click, Mike’s crutches on the smooth hall way. It’s hard for me to work out the others’ schedules because I never get to leave my room, and I can’t talk. I don’t think Mike has physical therapy now, or school. He could be going to see Jane in the eating disorder wing, or visiting Lucas who’s room is next to mine. Mike could just have a doctor’s appointment or test, though the Nurses tended to insist on wheelchairs for those. Mike hated the wheelchairs and I couldn’t really blame him.
I heard the clicking stop in the doorway and then I heard him coming in. Mike is a positive, very much a positive. “Hey Will” He says I wish I could say hi back, I try but nothing happens, as always. “Mind if I sit down, my leg is killing me” He laughs. His leg, his real leg, nearly did kill him, he had a kind of bone cancer I can’t say, they took his right leg off just above the knee. I hear him sit heavily in the chair next to my bed. It’s more of a crash than anything else and I worry he’ll tip over end up on the floor, again, and I won’t be able to help, again.
I hear some grunts and swearing then a long happy sigh I feel something plop onto the bed next to me. It’s Mike’s fake leg it rubs the skin of his stump raw and he hates wearing it. I feel Mike take my hand, he doesn’t always do this but it’s nice when he does. “You doing okay?” he asks like I can really answer him. “Sorry i didn’t visit for a few days I got a bad result and they gave me an extra dose and…. it was pretty gross, Dustin can tell you later” Dustin loves telling me all the gross stuff that happens around here, I don’t know why, maybe I look like the kind of kid who likes that?
“Jane is doing better, eating, I hope she can get out of here soon” Mike goes on. “Lucas is doing really well, they have him on something new” Lucas is next to me so I hear him coughing all the time, he has cystic fibrosis, I don’t think he’s doing as well as Mike thinks. There are times I’m glad I can’t talk. “Oh there’s a new girl! her name is Max, I know boy’s name, but she’s cool. I guess she’s got an enlarged heart or something. They’re making her wear a heart monitor all the time, and they won’t let her skateboard she’s so pissed”
I wonder what Mike looks like, really looks like. I’ve seen Mike, well a version of Mike aways. When we met he had hair and I know he’s bald, and he had both his legs. Mike is still talking when I feel something pull at the corner of my mind.
I’m standing in the front entry of the hospital, I don’t know why it’s always here. It’s the front of the hospital, but it’s also not. It’s empty for one thing, for another it’s spotlessly clean, and there’s no outside showing through the windows. This has happened a few times, the first time was about 3 weeks into my stay. It’s when I met Mike, he lost his leg, and I decided to stop feeling sorry for myself. I look down and she a girl with red hair laying face down on the floor.
“Max?” I ask and she lifts her head and looks at me confused. “What the hell?” she saids looking around “where the hell are we?” I shrug, everyone asks and I have no idea. I can still hear Mike talking his voice far off and echoing. Max is staring at me now, “you’re… you’re the kid in the coma aren’t you?” i nod and say “hi I’m Will, nice to meet you” She gets up slowly still looking at me like I might be dangerous. “Does this mean I’m dead?”
“I’m not dead!” I object. She thinks about this for a second “yeah I guess not, so why am i here?” I don’t really have a better answer to that question than I do the where question but I have a theory. “Well, if I had to guess you had some kind of heart attack and nearly died” Max looked horrified. “Don’t worry, I’m pretty sure you’ll be okay” I wasn’t lying so far no one I had met like this had died. “What the hell is….” she just looked at me and then around. “You’ll get used to it?” I wasn’t sure that was true or that it should be. We both heard the low growl from deep inside the building. Oh yeah that’s the other problem with being in a coma, I can’t really warn any one about that…..