starting to remember bad things

It was cat day today, so this had to be done– Sae-nyan (or would it be Nyan-ran) goes out to make a friend//

Bonus: a mini Yoo-nyan! ☆

One of the shitty things about Ni is that it’s so bad with details. It skips to conclusions because the processing of facts is primarily internal and done in the subconscious. Demanding that an Ni-dom give proof of their claims on the spot is like asking the impossible.

Relapse- Tyler Joseph and Josh Dun

Request-  I was wondering if you could do an imagine where you’re friends with Tyler and Josh and you have a depression relapse?

Okay seriously if you don’t do well with reading about suicide and depression, don’t read. Happy imagine coming later.

Today was your last day you had to deal with your issues. Today was the last day to face the world. Today was the day you were saying goodbye. You were ready for the pain to end. You were tired of the sleepless nights and the long days. You’ve dealt with it long enough. 2 months of the darkest days and cuts that lined your arms, you reached your end.

“Hey Y/N what’s up?” Tyler asked when you called him that afternoon.

“Nothing much, just wanted to see you today.” you told him, trying to not sound depressed.

“Then why don’t you come over and hang with me and Josh. We can watch movies tonight, like we use to. We tried calling you once we got back from Australia a few days ago, but you never answered our texts or calls.” you could hear the concern in his voice.

Josh and Tyler have been your best friends for the past 5 years. You had met them at one of their small shows and you got the chance of talking to Tyler. He gave you his number and told you if you ever needed anything to call him. You called him the next night and he helped you calm down from a major panic attack you were having. They were both strangers at the time, but you trusted them so much. They were so genuinely caring and now 5 years later you were headed to say goodbye. They deserved that goodbye for being such wonderful people. For dealing with you for so long, when you knew they probably just felt bad for you.

Pulling up to Tyler’s house you saw that Josh was already there. You knew there was no chance of you crying, you were too numb for that. You put on a smile and walked up to the door.

Knocking on the door you were met with a smiling Josh.

“Hey Y/N, it’s been so long. I’ve missed my best friend.” he said pulling you into a hug. You hugged him back accepting the fact that this was most likely one of the lasts from him.

“There she is. Best friends reunited.” Tyler said joining in on the hug.

After a while of hearing about their tour the attention was put on you.

“Are you okay? You’ve been very quiet.” Josh said.

“Yeah I’m fine, this is just me. You lied and tried your best to put on a smile.

“Bulllshit.” Tyler said moving closer to you. “Y/N that’s not you. I’ve been watching you all night. You didn’t even laugh at Josh’s dumb jokes that you always laugh at.”

“You can tell us what’s wrong.” Josh said a lot nicer than Tyler was talking.

You stared down to the ground.

“I have to go. I’m sorry.” you said standing from the couch. Tyler stood and stood in front of you. He took your hand in his hand and lifted your sleeve. Josh stood when he saw the markings that lined your arms.

“Y/N, why didn’t you tell us?” Josh said and you heard cracking in his voice.

“Tell you what? These are old.” you said pushing your sleeve back down and pushing between the boys making your way to the door.

“Why are you lying to us. Were your best friends. We’re here for you Y/N, just talk to us.” Tyler said following you, his tone now more sympathetic.

“I’m not lying, I swear. I’m just tired today. I’m going to head home.” you said and the boys exchanged a look of total concern.

“Y/N, please call us. For anything, please.” Josh said bringing you in for another hug.

“I will.” you said enjoying the last few moments with them.

You gave Tyler a hug and said goodbye.

You got in your car and started your drive home. You started remembering all the bad things that has happened in your past. All the heartache and all the unfairness of life was about to end for you. You were so concentrated in your thoughts you missed your exit to your house. It was okay with you though because you were enjoying the breeze as you drove down the vacant highway.

Once arriving home you walking in and dropped your purse, jacket and shoes at the door and went to your bathroom. You were so out of it you didn’t even realized the 2 people sitting in your kitchen.

You start the bath and grabbed a razor blade from your medicine cabinet. Placing the small piece of metal on the side of the tube you got undressed and got in. the warm water made you cold body shiver.

You sat back and stared at the ceiling. You slowly slide down under the water and stayed under denying your body’s scream for air.

When your lungs started to burn you came up and tears pricked your eyes. ‘This is it, I’m so close to being free’ you say aloud to yourself.

You grab the cold metal in your fingers and stare it’s sharp edge. Placing it against your skin you drag it from one side of your wrist to the other. You watched blood trickle from the cut into the water. You brought the blade back to your wrist this time pointing it to go upward. You winced at the pain when you pressed it into your skin. Before you could move it up your arm, there was a knock t the door. You jumped and dropped the blade and let out a cry.

Before you could grab for the blade again you were pulled from the bath and held tightly to someone’s chest.

“NO. Please just let me go.” you cried out.

Tyler kneeled down infront of you confirming that you were in Josh’s arms.

“Y/N why. You could have talked you us.” Tyler said in tears. He held your wrist upward and you looked down to see the damage you caused.

There was a lot of blood and your vision started to blurry. Your tears slowed and you could feel yourself starting to slip away.

“I’m sorry. I love you guys.” you weakly said, closing your eyes.

You heard more footstep enter the bathroom and Tyler stood. Josh handed you off to someone else.

This wasn’t the ending you wanted, but this is happening.

“Stay with us Y/N. please.” you heard Josh say once in the ambulance. The vehicle started to move and you heard on of the medics talking, but you could barely keep yourself awake.

“Okay, now’s your time. Start fighting, we’re almost there Y/N.” said the medic.

The last thing you remember was Josh taking your hand in his and kissing you knuckles. Then the world went black.

Josh’s P.O.V.

When Y/N left Tyler’s house I knew something was right. I felt it all night and it killed me seeing her so numb. She always had this light in her eyes, but when I saw her is was as if someone blew it out.

As soon as she pulled away we jumped in Tyler’s car and drove to her apartment. I was a nervous wreck when she wasn’t there. We sat in her kitchen for a half hour before she came home and headed straight to the bathroom.

We both called after her, but she didn’t hear. As creepy as it sounds I stood outside the bathroom door, something didn’t feel right.

When I heard her let out a cry I didn’t care about privacy anymore. She’s my best friend and I could let anything bad happen to her.

Seeing her bleeding into the tub, I didn’t know what to do beside call for Tyler to get help and gold her.

She was crying asking to leave and I couldn’t control my tears. I was shaking and when the medic took Y/N from me Tyler offered to drive me, but I had to stay with her.

Once at the hospital they took her away from me. They said it was up to her now for her to fight. Tyler came in and helped me calm down. Tyler somehow kept calm the whole time but seeing Y/N like this scared me.

“How is she?” he asked me walking me to take a seat.

“They said it’s up to her now to fight for her life. Ty, I’m scared. What if-” Tyler cut me off before I could go any farther.

“Josh, you can’t think like that. She’s a fighter she always has been. She’ll make it through.” his words gave me hope and when the doctor came out my heart was pounding.

“She’s sleeping right now. She hit a vein which made her bleed too much and when she got back there she was gone. We have her stable now and you can go back and see her now.” he lead us back and both Tyler and I stood at the end of the bed.

Tyler’s P.O.V.

I never thought she would actually do this. She was always so happy and she was a fighter. When touring I realized how she stopped calling so often to check in, I figured she was busy.

Josh and I went to her house before she got there and waited for her. Josh was a lot more nervous than I was. Thank god he was by the bathroom, otherwise we might not be standing in this hospital room right now.

I took a seat on her left side while Josh was on her right.

She woke up after a few hours and I knew neither one of us had plans on leaving her alone.

Y/N’S P.O.V.

You woke up in the hospital with your wrist wrapped in white bandages. You were so close to making it out, but the reasons you stayed were to the left and right of me. 

“Hey there.” Tyler said softly.

You looked at him and smiled the best you could. You were so tired and weak feeling.

You had just seen death and it wasn’t as good as you fantasied. You realized how much you wanted to stay here, on Earth with your two best friends. 

“That smile, god I love it.” Josh said kissing your knuckles again.

“I’m sorry I never said anything.” you said not being able to look at either on of them. this was going to probably scar them for life.

“Hey, don’t be. We don’t have to talk about it right now, if you don’t want to.” Tyler said pushing your hair out of your face.

“Thank you. Thank you for being there and thank you fro saving my life.” you said and the last part had more meaning to it then they would ever know. Not only did they call for help and stop you, but they were the reason you fought so hard earlier to stay alive. “I love you guys.”

“We love you too Y/N. So much, you would never believe how much you mean to us. You’re like out little sister and we would do anything to help you.” Josh said.

You were so lucky to have these two as your friends. They were always there for you even when you didn’t want it. They always just knew that right times when to either leave you alone or when to cancel all their plans to make sure your okay.

“We’re not letting you go Y/N, you’re like Josh said, you’re basically our sister and well fight anyone and all your demons for you.” Tyler said.

“Yeah, now get some rest, okay?” Josh added noticing how tired you were feeling.

With that you laid back in the bed and closed your eyes. You knew they would be there for you when you woke up. They would be there for you everyday you woke up from now on. This was the first time in a while that you actually felt wanted and loved. 


A/N: Just so you know, if I ever post a really depressing piece like this one I’ll post a happier one later just because I feel bad.

You’re sitting in your bedroom and you’re looking up at the ceiling. You’re remembering how the last time you were up this late doing the same thing, the love of your life was on the other side of the line with you. That phone is now is silently sitting on your pillow. You know you secretly hope when it buzzes it’s her, but you know it isn’t. You then start to remember what you guys would talk about- aliens, clouds, the future, the stars, comets, your favorite types of dogs, and she even got you to admit your favorite type of flower to her. You remember the summer, and all your crazy adventures. You remember the mac & cheese she would make you, and now everytime you eat it you just remember her. Everytime someone brings up anything about the moon, you remember how she was so fascinated with space. You smell lavender, and you immediately think of her- except that smell doesn’t bring you at ease anymore. You remember how you would go over to her house after school, just to lay in her bed while she plays with your hair, and you drift away into sleep. You remember how she smelled like cinnamon- so sweet it was almost tangy. You remember her dark brown eyes staring into you, and it feels like they’re looking through you. But you loved the light color they would become when she looked into the sun. You remember how she would lay on your chest, and sing her favorite songs, to then ask you if she was a good enough singer, and you would just go along with it to spare her feelings. You remember how when you kissed her neck she would giggle and push you away. You remember how you would look your worse- messy hair, scrubby face, a piece of lint in your curls, and she would hold your face in her little hands and look at you as if that was the only thing that mattered. You remember how she was ashamed of her stretch marks on her inner thighs , and you would try your hardest to make her feel as if those scars were the map to your heart. You remember how she brought the best out of you. How you danced in the kitchen and she desperately tried to show you how to get the steps correctly. You remember how she knew there was exactly 11 freckles on your face. You remember driving around in the afternoon, seeing the sunset at the Marina, while singing your favorite songs together. You remember the first flower you got her, and how she still has it framed in her bedroom- along with all the other roses. You remember how she would always wear that jean jacket ontop of everything- like her trademark. You start to remember how you once screamed at her because she didn’t tell you where to turn while you we’re driving. You didn’t notice it, but she was crying because you had never been like that before. You slowly start to remember every bad thing, as if it outweighed the good. You remember how you would get mad if she even smiled at another guy. You remember how much you made her hate herself before you were even together. You remember how you told her to wait for you, as if a heart could even contain that. You remember how she loved you more than her self, but you can’t seem to remember why you could have possibly let that go. You now think in present time and start to realize you’re not happy. You notice everything around you is so temporary. You notice you had never had a love that big- that mesmerizing. You regret. And you regret that you made her feel as if she was worthless. You know she’s everything and more. Maybe that’s what scared you. You didn’t want to get hurt by the very person that loved you the most. So you pushed her away. You see her smiling now, but for another reason. But this is you now, thinking of this girl- staring at the ceiling, and remembering how much you let go of. You never understood love- it seemed as if you were almost scared of it. The only way to understand it, is by getting your heart broken. But this ones on you. You broke your own heart. And that’s a damn shame that you did it to her too.
—  Remember.

whynotlewl  asked:

Hi! I'm writing about a super power ruled world. The thing is that I don't know how to write about the origin of said super powers without being too cliché. Can you help me? c:

Hello!

I love developing origin stories. So I hope I can give you some points to start from.

First thing to remember is that cliches aren’t all bad! They’re cliches for a reason. It’s virtually impossible at this point to write something without utilizing tropes or cliches in some form. The trick is taking the cliche and doing something unique with it, or combining two of them in a fresh way. You can reinvent almost anything with a little brainstorming and creativity. 

You basically have two broad ideas you can start with:

  • Magic has always been (”since the dawn of time!”)
  • Magic came about at a known point in time

Then you can take the next step:

  • Magic was gifted (from a deity, perhaps, or a trickster, or a natural phenomenon)
  • Magic was discovered by mortals

Say you’ve chosen, “Magic came about later,” and “Magic was discovered by mortals.”

Awesome! In many ways, you’ve already got a cool story because so often magic is rooted within the ancient history of a world. All of the details here are up to you. And you can just play around with it all you like.

When was magic discovered?

  • Many generations ago
  • Eons ago
  • By the protagonist’s grandparent’s
  • Last week

Who discovered magic?

  • An old guy
  • The town’s butcher
  • The village crazy lady
  • A toddler
  • A goat
  • The protagonist’s bratty little cousin

How was magic discovered?

  • Uncovering an ancient tomb
  • Eating some fermented berries
  • Doodling some cool designs in the dirt
  • Swallowing strange candy in Aunt Fifi’s purse
  • Falling into the fire pit and not dying
  • Almost drowning

Google image search random stuff and scroll through (appropriate) pictures. Let your mind go crazy. Jot down an idea that pops into your head and then mix and match them.

Read Steelheart by Brandon Sanderson.

In fact, just read anything by Brandon Sanderson.

Happy writing!

imagine : take care (TOU)

imagine running to Buck’s to see your ex-boyfriend, Dallas, after your abusive boyfriend has his way with you and you need somewhere to stay — he cleans you up, and you force him to cuddle.


Warnings — blonde!dallas, mentions of abuse, alcohol, swearing, but pure

 f l u f f.

.
.
.

Keeping the secret was hard, but remaining cool and composed was even harder. It was easy to lie now, because I’d isolated myself so much.

I don’t think they believed my lies at first but, damn, we were telling them good towards the end.

It was raining real hard. That only made a mess of the blood caked on my skin. If I stayed in one place too long, I could create a blood puddle. Crimson blood from various wounds swirled with said water, looking sophisticated against the ebony, cracked cement of the lonely, dreary street. I sort of wanted to take a picture.

I tried to count the number of friends I had and came up blank. My new friends needed just as much shelter as I did. But when we’re all together, it’s a gas. Why’s it like that? Why’s it like that if none of us are truly happy?

Dallas Winston was bound to be at Buck Merril’s. I hoped to Hell he wasn’t at Tim Shepard’s, even if it was unlikely, because then I’d know pain a lot better than I did now.

It was Angela’s fault that I got tied up with that loser. A prey in his silk spider web. How was this my fault, all of a sudden? Tim couldn’t stand the sight of me now because he knew it was his sister who did it. Most of it, anyway. Destroyed a good, quiet kid.

“I need to see Dallas,” my voice was barely above a whisper. Not because it hurt to speak, I was just so goddamn ashamed. I was wearing Pony’s navy zip-up sweater. It was huge on me, now. It used to be my size. What happened to me?

He was right when he said it was my fault, wasn’t he? Not Tim, but Him.

I knew that tonight would mean nothing in the means of escaping, because once the prey is captured it’s already dead.

Doesn’t help that my brothers can’t stand me, either.

“Glory, girl, he’s upstairs — I’ll go ‘n get him.”

I waited by the door like the stupid girl I was. I had no where else to go, and coming to Dallas Winston had become a daydream and not a nightmare. I remembered how he used to scare me with his rings and cigarettes. Then I remembered how he used to hold me.  

He came down looking annoyed. His blonde hair was sticking to his forehead but I knew better than to assume. He was sleeping, of course. Wasn’t he?

He didn’t have a shirt on — not that the foolish teenage girl in me minded — he was wearing a pair of his favorite low-cut jeans. They had a rip in the knee.

“He hit me,” it spilled from my lips. Everything was spilling and I couldn’t keep it back. “He hit me and it hurt this time —”

“The fuck do you mean ‘it hurt this time’? What the fuck is wrong with you, you dumb broad?” He ran a hand through his long hair and grabbed my arm.

I hissed, but he didn’t notice.

“You were right, okay?” I yelled, ready to fight. Not even a second ago I was crying, now I was daring Dally to try and take a swing at me. I yanked my arm from his grasp as we headed up the stairs. “What’re you gonna do, huh? Call my brothers?”

“Maybe I will!” He snapped, whipping open the door to his bedroom. I expected to see some girl, but the bed was empty.

I didn’t know what I wanted. I just wanted somewhere to stay, not to be criticized. It was funny, because Dallas of all people would know what being hurt then insulted would feel like. Didn’t he know I couldn’t take this anymore?

I stood, leaning against the wall. There was a puddle forming on the ground, my hair was dripping. Dallas sat on the corner of his bed with his head in his hands. “What's your problem, man? You want me to leave and I will, okay? I just wanted somewhere to stay.”

“Stop fucking talking,” he demanded with a groan.

“Just call my brothers, then, Dallas. See if they care.” I started walking towards the bathroom attached to his room. It wasn’t anything fancy, but it worked. I opened a few drawers looking for the first aid kits Dally collected.  

“What’re you doing, kid?” He called, getting up and coming into the tiny bathroom behind me. It was small and beige-colored with tile floors and a cheap marmoleum countertop around the sink.

I didn’t bother turning on the light, so it was kind of eerie when I could feel his warm breath against my neck. For the first time in a long while, it didn’t reek of beer or cigarettes. Where was this Dally when I was still around? “I’m getting the first aid kit. Figured I should probably treat these things ‘fore they get infected.”

“No,” he says. “What are you doing here?”

I turned to face him with the first aid kit being the only thing between us. “I had nowhere else to go. Brothers hate me… I don’t have many reliable friends anymore, I guess.”

“You’re making a mess of the floors.”

“Stop fucking doing that! Stop asking me questions and ignoring me. If you don’t want me here I’ll go to Evie’s!”

“You hate Evie.”

I didn’t have anything to say to that, so I cracked my knuckles. I had to stop because I was reminded of the raw cuts on them. I hissed, and this time Dally heard me.

“What the fuck happened?” He breathed, tugging at his hair as leaned against the counter of the sink.

“I don’t wanna talk about it,” I said.

He shook his head, rolling his eyes. “I mean what happened to you. You were always such a wimp. Never did drugs, never drank. Now you’re coming to me with bruises 'n you don’t talk to your fucking brothers no more.” It was silent until he said real softly, “I never touched you like that.”

I shrug off the damp, heavy sweatshirt. It falls to the ground with a wet slosh that we both ignore. “Please help me,” I whimpered. I’m not sure if I’m talking about my wounds or my situation.

He gets the bandages out of the box and cuts some off the little roll. I hop onto the counter and use both hands to rid myself of my shirt. There was a cut along my collarbone. My stomach was red and purple and sore. There was a spider-like design of red somethings.

Dally puts both hands on my stomach. It’s strange because it hurts, but feels like safety. It feels good. But it doesn’t feel electric. Electric was ruined for me. “You’re so skinny, doll.”

I swallow hard as he starts cleaning my cuts and bruises, not just the ones on my stomach.

“He did this to you, didn’t he? I could fucking kill him…”

“I guess you were right. Remember when you told me that? When I first started going with him. You said he was a loser and I didn’t listen. Then I started doing all those bad things, remember? Well, I’m still doing them.”

His eyes are shielded black crystals.  “Yeah. You know your brothers miss you, right? They don’t where the fuck you’ve been, girl. I don’t either. I told 'em 'around’, 'cause they thought I knew. But I didn’t know, man.”

“What happened to us?” I knew I didn’t want the answer to that. “Where’s your little girls, Dal? You still running around with Sylvia and all the others girls too drunk to now what’s right and wrong?”

He wraps my wrist with a bandage and puts plasters on my middle. Every now and then he looks at me to see if it hurts when he dabs my cuts with alcohol, but it doesn’t.

“Man, I haven’t been with no one in forever. I keep thinking about you and that guy. How’d he do all this shit to you, baby?” He asks me, and then it hits me  that we’re both without shirts. He isn’t like how used to be. I like that we can be like this without anything being awkward or tense.

“With his fist and his legs,” I smile grimly. “Might of been a switch involved. I don’t know.”

He finished not long after that. He leaves the bathroom and I’m afraid he’ll go, but he comes back with a pair of pajama pants. I know they’re probably Darry’s, but they smell like Dallas and that’s enough for me.

I think he was waiting for me to go somewhere or something, but I shed my bottoms right then and there. I think Dally wanted to mention the bruises on my legs that I neglected to mention, but then he’d be telling me that he was watching me change.

“Thank you, Dally, for everything.” I sit on the side of his bed. “Hey, can I have a shirt?”

I laughed a little. He’d blush and tell me he forgot sometime soon. But he didn’t. “I don’t got any others,” he grinned. “Just the dirty one from earlier. Was gonna put on those pants, too, but you’re kinda wearing 'em, doll. Left my shit at your brother’s.”

I rolled my eyes. I don’t feel uncomfortable or anything. I mean, I’d grown more comfortable with my body than I was when we were going together. I don’t know how he can remain cocky like that, like he thinks I’m cute.

Covered in bruises and bandages, I was a beauty, wasn’t I? Wearing his/my older brother’s PJ pants and a pretty lacy bra. God, we were sick.

“Can you cuddle with me, Dallas?“ I sound timid. How’re you supposed to sound when you’re asking some tough gang member to cuddle with you? I could feel myself morphing back into the girl I used to be. Shy and all that shit.

"I don’t 'cuddle’, Y/N. You know that.”

“First off, that’s a lie. I remember a few occasions. Hope you know cuddling is the maximum of anything that could happen here.”

“Yeah, don’t fucking remind me, man.”

I slither under the covers and he follows suit, wrapping his around my middle. It’s not electrifying, but it’s love, I think. I scooted in towards his body so I could feel his bare chest against my back.

I try to match my breathing to his. “You’re taking me to my old house tomorrow, aren’t you?”

“It still is your house,” he mumbles into my hair. “After I do that, I’m gonna bop that fucking loser some, Y/N. Put him into the hospital or maybe worse, man. I’m not sure yet.”

I shift us and Dally groans. He stops when I lay my head on his chest and tangle our legs together. His rough hands stroke my head and my hair. “Say it.”

“Say what, doll?”

“Say what you’ve been wanting to ask me, Dallas.”

He moans when I reach up and run my hands through his hair. He’s always been so obsessed with that. “Be my girl again, baby. I missed you so fuckin’ much, Y/N. You won’t ever leave again, I'll make sure of it, babe.”

And suddenly, everything felt okay again.

Xiao Yang!

2p!China:

- High pretty much 25/8
- Lost his virginity to rape but he’s pushed down that memory so deep he doesn’t even remember
- Don’t try to bring it up
- If he starts remembering bad things will happen
- His best friend(s?) are Al and Viktor(?)
- Down to fuck with anyone
- Might have a small thing for Viktor
- Loves to bother Kuro and shower him in brotherly love.
- Just to watch Kuro get annoyed and flustered
- Usually ends up with him getting a black eye and more.
- Despite being a party dude, he won’t pressure people to drink or do drugs.
- He’s a huge flirt and very kinky
- He’ll try anything once
- Viktor has a restraining order against him

- Xiao considers it as more of a suggestion rather than an order

- Feels like everyone truly hates him even Al

- He may be on plenty of drugs and even drunk at times, but he’s very lovable

- Accepting of everyone really

- Except if you’re an asshole

- In that case go fuck yourself

- At World meetings he places bets on who’s gonna throw the first punch

- When fights break out he does nothing to help

- The lil shit just records it

- Loves to make bets and dare people to do shit

- He can be scary when he becomes serious or pissed

- But he usually relaxes and chills out before doing anything rash.

eating is hard

eating a full 3 meals a day is really, really hard.

don’t feel bad for taking baby steps. don’t feel bad for eating nothing but an apple for lunch, don’t feel bad for having soup for all 3 meals, don’t feel bad about the days when all you manage to feed yourself is tea.

eating is hard, and not being able to eat is okay. it takes time. recovery takes time. you will get to a place where you can eat again. i believe in you.

We Happy Few AU

So with the new update coming out and kinda getting into We Happy Few again I decided to spurt out some ideas for an AU I’ve been thinking about:

- So, basically this AU is Uncle Jack slowly getting off Joy, and starting to remember things. Like “The Very Bad Thing” in particular along with his daughter and his dog. At the same time, Arthur has ‘left’ his job and is trying to escape the town of Hamlyn, fighting/surviving, doing all that junk.

- Arthur’s watching TV one day, just as he’s passing it on the street and he can tell something is off with everyone’s favourite Uncle. His smiles are forced, he’s not laughing as much, he keeps spacing out, looking around. Not to mention he never once brings up Joy, he just answers questions.

- At first Arthur doesn’t think much of it but soon the signs become more frequent, until even the Wellies are confused. He knows what’s wrong though: Uncle Jack is a downer. And he remembers everything.

- They start repeating older episodes and the Wellies just forget that Jack was acting weird. But one day it gets revealed pretty obviously.

- It’s a live thing, Jack is supposed to be reading jokes and he’s trying really hard to act jolly but as the episode progresses he gets more and more irritated, upset. He calls jokes “rubbish” and says they’re all the same. By the end he’s rambling and begging everyone to remember. And Arthur just stands there in awe as the station cuts off and Wellies freak out about him.

- No one sees Uncle Jack on TV after that. Arthur’s pretty sure he’s dead as a doornail.

- Then one day he sees a short, skinny man in a tweed suit, wearing a happy mask, trying to turn a tap to get water from it. He comes closer because ’hey, this guy is familiar?’ and when he gets near he sees who it is.

- It’s Jack.

- He gasps really loudly and frightens poor Jack out of his skin. Jack drops the bottle he’s holding and stands there in horror, then he starts begging Arthur not to hurt him.

- Arthur freaks and stutters out that he won’t. He gives Jack one of his bottles as an apology and Jack is just ’???’. He thanks Arthur though, polite as ever.

- Jack is confused. Because he didn’t think sane people existed.

- He just scarpers.

- They meet again when some Downers are chasing poor Jack. Arthur ushers him into his hidey-hole and they shelter there.

- In the end Jack essentially ends up staying there with Arthur. It’s safer and warmer and Arthur gives him food. Jack proves good company too, he can talk for hours about nothing and Arthur is glad, as talking isn’t his strong point. His dark humour matches Arthur’s too, so they can laugh at their own situation without Joy.

- One time, after being gone for a few days, Arthur turns up and Jack’s mask is smashed up all over the floor. Jack’s curled up crying in the corner of the room. Arthur tries as best he can to comfort him. It’s awkward and weird but… Jack appreciates it.

- Both of them have awful nightmares and are generally very traumatized. Jack remembers more, and feels worse as he was older and more responsible when “The Very Bad Thing” happened.

- Jack’s a huggy man. He sometimes just holds Arthur when the guy has a nightmare. And chatters randomly for ages, since that calms down Arthur. He’s always hella concerned when Arthur leaves. (“Have you got everything?” “How long will you be?” “Remember to stay hydrated.” Etc.)

- They basically work together to get over their guilt and also to get out of the mad place that is Wellington Wells.

This is Night Vale !

Inspired by this famous song ~

Maybe we can fix each other

Rating: smut

Plot: you were one of the first people ever in the glade. Years before Thomas arrived, you had survived a night in the maze. One night, you pass by Newt’s shelter and hear him cry during a nightmare so you calm him down. Next day he sees you crying and comfort you and smut happens

……………………

The sun has set and i had finished training Thomas. He was the new Greenie and was going to be a Runner, and i was the Runner’s trainer, since i wouldn’t set foot in the Maze after spending a njght there almost two years ago, but Alby said i shouldn’t waste my skills. So here i am, training Greenies

“Night, Y/N”

Thomas waved at me

“Good night. Take care in the maze tomorrow”

“Thank you. For everything”

He went to his hammock and i headed for my shelter.

I was walking past other shelters and heard a quiet sob. I moved closer and listened to the sound. It was a cry and it came from Newt’s shelter

I took off my shoes and slowly opened the door. The blonde boy was curled up into a ball in his bed, quietly sobbing and with sweat forming on his forehead.

I moved closer to the bed and shook him a little bit

“Newt”

I shook him more

“Newt please wake up”

He didn’t respond, to deep into his nightmare to even sense my presence, so i did what my instinct told me to. I crawled under the blanket and wrapped my arms around his torso. He wrapped his aems around me and nuzzled his face in the crook of my neck, still sobbing but calmer now

I ran my fingers through his soft hair and hummed a song into his ear for a few minutes, then the sobbing stopped

I kissed his forehead and he slowly opened his eyes, tensing up when he saw me there

“Y/N what are you doing here?”

“It’s ok. You were having a nightmare so i tried to stop it”

“You did”

He smiled

“Go back to sleep Newtie”

“Will you be here when i wake up?”

“Yes”

His eyes lit up like a kid on Christmas morning and i kissed his cheek before he fell into a deep sleep

…………………..

NEXT DAY


Thomas came back from the Maze and Minho said he did well so all i had to do until the next Greenie was to just help around whoever needed it, but right now noone needed help

I walked to the deadheads and leaned against a tree and memories just washed over. The night in the Maze. The Grievers. And then Newt last night. He told me he had nightmares about his suicide attempt. And then i started remembering things from before the Maze. WCKD. WCKD is bad. They need to go. We need to get out of here. They did this. They did this to the world, to the people. And i was too wek to stop them. They shot me with a dart but i didn’t die. So they put me in here

I just couldn’t do it anymore. I broke down crying

I sobbed with my head in my hands for a long time, remembering each and every detail about that terrible night and that terrible world

Then i felt a hand gently grabbing my wrist and pulling my hands down to reveal my face

“Y/N?”

It was Newt

“What happened?”

I just turned my head away

“Y/N please”

“It’s bad. They’re bad. They did this. They DID THIS!”

I practically yelled it out loud

“I know. We’ll get out of here. We’ll fix the world. Or at least ourselves”

“Newt i can’t be fixed”

“I tought that about myself too. Until last night. You fixed a little part of me last night Y/N. So maybe it’s possible. Maybe we can fix each other”

He looked deep into my eyes and i believed him. Maybe he was right. Maybe we could all be okay in the end

He leaned towards me and our lips touched. Slowly at first, but then it got heated. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer . His hands rested on my hips. He felt safe. He felt like home. I wanted him. I needed him.

“Fix me Newt”

He leaned on top of me and i brushed my fingers through his hair, bringing him even closer. Newt’s hand slipped under my shirt and caressed my breasts. I wrapped my hands around him and under his shirt, running them along his back

He pulled my shirt over my head and looked at my exposed breasts

“Shuck Y/N you’re so beautiful”

He kissed my collarbone and down the valley of my breasts. He unzipped my pants and pulled them down , leaving me in my panties. He threw them, but they got stuck in a tree branch and then fell on top of us

We both chuckled a little bit before he grabbed my pants and tossed them away again, this time without it falling. Sex wasn’t like Alby had describes to us: swift movements, exactly placed kisses and strokes and weird experimental positions. It was cute and clumsy and filled with mine and Newt’s love and passion.

“It’s not fair. I’m almost naked and you’re fully dressed”

He smiled and took off his jumper and vest. I leaned over him and kissed his lips , moving down to his neck and chest. He wasn’t buff like Gally or Alby but shuck, i didn’t want him to be.

I kept kissind around his chest and then went up to the base of his neck. I kissed and sucked and left little love bites. Just in case Teresa ever has plans with my Newt

He smelled awesome. I don’t know what it was but i loved his scent. I just did

I slid my hands lower, hooking my fingers in the loops of his pants and pulled them down, his bulge was now obvious forming a tent with his underwear. I gently rubbed the tip and went up to hiss his lips. He caressed every part of my body with his hands

“You’re beautiful”

He pulled down my underwear and his, throwing them aside. I looked down at his member. It was big, and seemed even bigger since you wouldn’t expect it from him. I mean, he was so tall and skinny.

He aligned himself at my entrance and slowly pushed in. He kissed me and tangled his fingers in my hair and i wrapped my arms around him pulling him closer

This was my first time, but he was so gentle and sweet i didn’t feel even the slightest amount of pain

He increased his speed and little beads of sweat formed on his forehead from concentration. His kisses became wild and his tongue slipped in, exploring my mouth and i felt myself clenching around him

Soon i had my release and it made Newt have his own, both hot and shaking

He pulled out of me and we layed there, hugging, with our legs interwined, for a few more minutes

“We should probably get dressed and go back to the Homestead”

“Yeah, they’re probably looking for us”

“Newt?”

“Yeah”

“Can i wear your jumper?”

“Sure love”

He gave me a peck on the lips, then we got dressed and went back to the Homestead

I find hope in the darkest of days, and focus in the brightest. I do not judge the universe.
—  Dalai Lama

Today’s terrible thought from work:

SO one night Tim takes a really bad hit during a fight, gets really banged up, and when he comes to he has amnesia, like cannot remember Alfred bad, and sure things start to come back– his own name, he’s Red Robin, Bruce being his adopted dad, ect. But than some things DON’T come back and after a bit Dick and Bruce make the decision to not tell Tim about Kon, who’s still dead, because they both figure that trauma and loss is better off forgotten.

It’s a struggle with his friends having to pretend Kon never existed for Tim’s sake now that they have fucking Batman threatening them to keep up the lie and it sucks because Tim does seem….lighter. Like it’s not SO bad.

Except Kon comes back and suddenly Tim’s there not knowing him and it’s the worst thing in the world because Tim’s freaked out, Kon’s heartbroken, nothing is right, and now they’ve got to struggle through with Tim getting his memories back or having to make new ones.

I started snorting cocaine when I was 17 and I don’t remember much in that time period except the intense sexual encounters we had. I’d call it making love, but I think we all know you have to be in love to do that. You never had much of that for me, but I had large amounts of it for you. I don’t see how I had any room for love in my heart when I filled it with drugs and bad things. I did though, and I still remember the way you’d kiss me at night when the world was quiet and no one was alive except for you and I. I remember when we would do bad things. I don’t remember when I started stealing my mothers credit card, I also don’t remember when I stopped telling my little brother I loved him. Either way I was melting and you weren’t listening to the words I would say. I look back at my writing when I was with you and I almost feel like publishing it to show girls what not to do. I’m a bit scared they’d fall in love with you like I had, despite the large amounts of tragedy intertwined in your veins. Every one wants a tragedy. If only they knew three months into it I was listening to nirvana on my bathroom floor while putting bad things in my body, contemplating doing myself off as kurt cobain did. Without you of course, because you were with the pretty blonde girl that liked fucking you and got you free drugs. I never could pinpoint the exact reason it never crossed my mind that you were burning me, but when I emerged from my daydream I looked in the mirror for the first time and screamed at the burn marks all over my thighs and wrists. I think that might have been the time that I started inhaling cigarettes, because I guess I needed another bad thing to ruin me in a different way than you did. For five months I was writing books onto my thighs to cover up your burn marks, and opening my veins to see me on the inside, because I know that the only thing inside of me was you. And I never saw much of you anymore. I think maybe that I was crazy, my mother sure thought so because after finding me passed out on the bathroom floor she sent me to a woman called a therapist. I don’t know why I told that woman about you because the next thing I knew she was crying and I was in a straitjacket cause apparently I started screaming. I wonder what she’s doing now, and I wonder if she still thinks of me at night when she’s falling asleep. Most people who meet me don’t stop thinking of me, but not in the good way. I leave scars instead of gardens and I think that’s why my mother began crying in her sleep every night. I started kissing girls at night, because let’s face it, after him I wasn’t too ready to feel like I wasn’t in control again. I wonder when I started making girls feel like he made me feel, I guess I liked controlling them and making them fall in love with me like I did with you. You should have seen the look on this blonde girls face when I fucked her for 3 hours then told her I didn’t give a fuck about her. I think you would have been proud. My mother started hiding the knives and I wonder if she was scared I was going to hurt myself, or her. Regardless I slapped her and she kicked me out and I’ve been sleeping on pretty blonde girls satin sheets. She promises me if I stay that she’ll buy me all the coke I want so of course I had to stay. There’s only so much coke, there’s only so much interest I have in a person. when I left she screamed at me about ripping her soul out and I told her there’s no way I could’ve done that because I was never interested in her soul. I wanna know when I started making girls rip their veins out. I wanna know when you made me rip mine. I ponder my unanswered questions over black coffee in the daylight hours, and I’m sitting on a brunette bombshells bedroom floor, fucked up on coke and smoking a blend 27. She looks at me and asks me why I was such a drifter, and why she had to scream every night in her sleep because she was scared id be gone in the morning time. I remember laughing and I think that’s when she cried in my lap and begged me to open up to her. Whether that was before or after we fucked for an hour I don’t know, but I’m going to go with after. I started shooting up with one of my temporary girlfriends, I really thought I loved this one but after shooting up heroin I think I could’ve loved the guy who shot John Lennon, ha ha ha, I’m totally kidding but if he would’ve heard that he would have gotten a laugh cause he knows how much I love The Beatles. I don’t remember falling asleep in a Waffle House located on 19 but what I do remember is waking up to my mothers face crying down at me. if I hadn’t have felt the restraint of my limbs I would have slapped her and I think she knew it too because she started crying harder, harder, and harder. I remember her telling me she didn’t know where she went wrong and that’s when I glanced at my wrists to see the track marks of my lovely habit and I realized what landed me in the asylum that day. When I was allowed visitors my favorite girl to fuck dropped by and held my hand for an hour while I told her I loved her over and over. I didn’t of course but I needed a place to get high when I got out of that shithole and my other girls didn’t call or come see me so I figured they weren’t going to be there. I was wrong of course, cause I woke up high as fuck on my brunettes bed and I heard her whimpering under me and that’s when I realized that I had probably fucked up and slapped her, cause she did remind me of my mother and the doctors told me I was damn insane and I wanted to cry with her but I didn’t want her to know I could provide salt water at my eyelids because that makes people want to lick your tears away and I never wanted a pity party. I told her I was just looking for good sex and drugs before I left to wander the streets and be picked up by a cop that thought I was homeless. i told him I was cause the truth is I never felt like I had much of a home anyways. I saw him at the flea market at 7:26 pm, I remember because I had to check the clock so I could know the exact moment I realized I might be getting bad. I ran to you with open arms to be greeted with confusion. I slapped you in your face and I just remember fucking you for two hours in your truck after that but it could very well be a dream. because I woke up in my mothers front yard with blood inside my mouth. I figured I had just bitten down too hard on my cheek, but the police showed up at my mothers door later that day saying I had violated my probation and I had to go to jail for 30 days. my mother cursed and screamed at me and I don’t remember her asking them not to take me so that’s when I first realized my mother didn’t love me anymore. jail was a funny thing, I liked it because no one sugar coats, no one acts like they give a fuck what you have to say. i liked it cause people in jail lack empathy. I spared them my story, because even when people ask what’s my history I think of my therapist that probably cries herself to sleep every night. Although I enjoy leaving people I never wanted to leave scars, or maybe I did. or maybe I just liked coke and heroin and not much of anything else. either way I don’t remember which girl picked me up from jail, I just know she took me to her place and had the heroin and the needles ready to be used and goddamn it felt lovelier then I could’ve ever dreamed of, I really fell in love with that girl but once I came down from my lovely high I asked her what her last name was and she told me we’d been fucking for a year and so I realized maybe I didn’t quite love her as much as the heroin led me to believe. ha ha ha it makes me laugh to think about her clawing her long black nails into my arm out of anger, or maybe it was because she was trying to give me physical pain as I had given her emotional pain. either way it sucked leaving her cause we ran out of heroin and that bitch really thought she loved me. oh but no, it sucked because she was fucking hott and she liked nirvana so I think she’s the only girl I ever thought about loving before I realized I couldn’t love. i left her and I think I remember actually crying while getting into my car but coming down off of heroin could make a grown fucking man cry at the drop of a hat, so I never really thought much of it. I never really thought much of anything. except my free drugs and the great sex. I sat on a new blonde girls bed while she was shooting up d’s (not really my thing, but she was pretty trashy) drinking black coffee when I thought about him again and naturally when I think of him I leave to find something to spark my interest because obviously new blonde girl wasn’t taking my mind off of him, but I stayed, cause let’s face it, every other girl I could go to I had left too much baggage, and I don’t think I could work my magic without slapping one of them in the face, so I stayed and I slept, I must’ve slept quite some time because when I woke up, new blonde girl was fucking a black dude next to me and I don’t remember punching her in the face but I do remember her screaming for me to stay, that he made her do it and I couldn’t just fucking break her heart. I also remember laughing till I cried while walking out that sluts house. crazy bitch looked for me at brunette bombshells house but we were too fucked up to open the door and I really loved this girl. ha ha ha don’t I always seem to think I love someone when I’m shooting galaxies in my veins? it makes me laugh later when I’m sober, if I ever am. I don’t remember fighting with the girl but I do remember waking up at my moms house with my whole family surrounding my bed. I remember them asking me if it mattered to me that I was hurting them, or myself and I laughed and laughed and told them I was life, and life was fucking painful while they cried and sobbed. it was then when I went into my bathroom where I had previously been crying over the dickhead that fucked me up so bad I couldn’t walk straight, that I looked in the mirror and I saw someone. yeah all that poetic bullshit but I looked so fucking crazy. my eyes were blue as ever but beneath them were black circles, I was skinny as a rail and my hair was black, wild, cut short and shaggy. I had black eyeliner on, probably a couple days old. my favorite jean jacket with my favorite nirvana tee underneath, ripped jeans and my old chucks. honestly I was wondering when I became such a dyke, ha ha ha. I remember leaving that night and hearing my mom scream that I was such a pain on the family, I just whispered that pain was inevitable. and I was the definition of pain. she didn’t hear me, but she will learn one day. I walked to my nirvana loving long black haired beauty’s house only to find her on the bathroom floor with a razor to her wrists, fucked up part is she wasn’t even crying, just kept whispering over and over that she wanted to get me out of her veins. God she looked so fucking beautiful sitting there I almost wanted to take a picture but instead I picked her up and lay her on the bed that we’d shared meaningless (to me) sex on countless times, shot up countless amounts of heroin, and I kissed her until we both fell asleep. when I woke up that morning I hated to leave her, and I think it was the first time it ever hurt me to leave because leaving was my expertise, so I left her a note on her bed post that said I’ll be back. even though we both knew there was never any guarantee to that. I think I went to my fathers after that, cause at this point my mother and him had split and although everyone knows it’s because of me no one says anything about it for my sake, if only they knew how much I don’t fucking care, but like i previously stated people enjoy sugar coating, never saying what they mean which might be the reason I shoot up so many drugs but hey, like I said maybe I just fucking love heroin. My dad let me crash at his place, because let’s face it without my mom he didn’t really give a fuck what I was doing, weird part is he loved that I was fucking girls and I think it gave him a lot of pride as a father, ha ha ha maybe he’s just as fucked up as me. I told him that and we had a long laugh, but he walked in on me and his current girlfriend and slapped me in the face before kicking me out. so naturally I went to this girls place, funny thing about this one is I really never caught her name, she’s the first girl that never really gave a fuck if I left so I wonder why it was so hard leaving. well I left anyways because she wasn’t doing much for me, and plus she didn’t really fuck with drugs except she was a strong potthead, never really was my thing, I wanted to go as high as I could, not low. I guess you could say she was a hippie, those fuckers never care about anything anyways so maybe that’s why when I was leaving she woke up and smiled a goodbye smile. I did my famous wave that I always did when leaving a worthless souls house ( unless they were trying to beat my ass or something ) and I left with absolutely no intentions of ever coming back, because shit I thought I might have just stayed but everyone knows that’s not me, ha ha ha sometimes it makes me laugh when I think about how many girls I’ve left without explanations. maybe when I stop coming back they’ll know not to ever love someone like me, like him, because we are the definition of pain, and as previously stated pain is fucking inevitable. I remember walking into a coffee shop and seeing this long black haired, side bangs beauty that had on black right jeans, a nirvana tee and some converse. Fuck I actually stopped in my tracks cause she kinda looked like a girl version of me. she glanced at me and I knew right then that id end up at her place and we’d probably have some great sex, I just hoped she liked my kinda fix, cause a good fuck isn’t anything compared to a fuck high on heroin. seems kinda like a book or some poetic shit but I remember distinctly that she said absolutely nothing to me, just grabbed my hand and led me to her black mustang. I was almost thinking this bitch was perfect. I almost told her I loved her but then my eyes flashed back to him and I kept quiet. we couldn’t even make it into the door before she began shoving her tongue in my mouth, we somehow got to the bed and I’ve never been inside of someone like that, sober as fuck, and felt like I was on too of the world. I had a new favorite fuck, but I had to test the waters first cause I couldn’t let her fall in love with me because something about me didn’t wanna hurt her veins. I got up to leave the next morning but she was already awake blasting lithium and she asked me if I wanted to go get a tattoo, her treat. I said why not but we shot up some heroin before we went so I just remember waking to the next morning to a pain of my side and when I checked to look I had a lithium lyric on one side and pain is inevitable on the other. I guess I fucked up and talked to much. I never knew what my point was until she broke my heart. I am not mean to love, I am meant to be loved. I am here to teach people that pain is inevitable. I am here to take the human form of pain
—  The story of the girl who wasn’t a girl, but the purest form of pain

Regina Harris