starter john

Looking For Alaska Starters!
  • “That didn’t happen, of course, Things never happened the way I imagined them.”
  • “No one can catch the motherfucking fox.”
  • “Now, about this Jesus fellow…”
  • “I know so many last words. But I will never know hers.”
  • “I’m really not up for answering any questions that start with how, when, where, why, or what.”
  • “Y’all smoke to enjoy it. I smoke to die.”
  • “He honked my boob!"
  • “This is so much fun, but I’m so sleepy. To be continued?”
  • “I’ll have more time for reading when I’m old and boring.”
  • “I’d finally had enough of chasing a ghost who did not want to be discovered.”
  • “I’m just scared of ghosts, _____. And home is full of them.”
  • “That deep, can-still-taste-her-in-my-mouth sleep.”
  • “If people were rain, I’d be a drizzle and she’d be a hurricane.”
  • “You never get me. That’s the whole point.”
  • “Could the two people who are making out please be quiet?”



  • ❝  you ever see a painting by john trumbull?  ❞
  • ❝  the reality is messier and richer.  ❞
  • ❝  the reality is not a pretty picture.  ❞


  • ❝  that’s why i hustle hella hard, never celebrate a holiday.  ❞
  • ❝  i refuse to ever lose or throw my shot away.  ❞
  • ❝  if i have given it all i got i cannot regret it.  ❞
  • ❝  when opportunity knock, you don’t send anyone to get it — answer the door, welcome it, let it in, or regret it.  ❞
  • ❝  i surprise you guys, i’m a prize fighter.  ❞
  • ❝  be leaders, believers in yourself and mean it.  ❞
  • ❝  i mean you only get one shot, take it or leave it.  ❞
  • ❝  we ain’t got no other choice, we need to rise up.  ❞
  • ❝  inside i feel that fire that’s burning.  ❞
  • ❝  see i’ve been patiently waiting for this moment.  ❞
  • ❝  give me my one chance to grab the torch and properly hold it.  ❞


  • ❝  i had no foundation, no friends and no family to catch my fall.  ❞
  • ❝  running on empty, there was nothing left in me but doubt.  ❞
  • ❝  writin’ songs about rights and wrongs and bails bonds.  ❞
  • ❝  competition near, i’m a spartan without the spear.  ❞
  • ❝  this poetry in motion, i’m a poet.  ❞
  • ❝  running out of time like i’m jonathan larson’s rent check.  ❞
  • ❝  my mind is where the wild things are.  ❞
  • ❝  oh, you think you smart?  ❞
  • ❝  oversensitive, defenseless, i made sense of it.  ❞
  • ❝  these sentences are endless, so what if they leave me friendless?  ❞
  • ❝  damn, you got no chill.  ❞
  • ❝  fuckin’ right, i’m relentless!  ❞
  • ❝  i know abuela’s never really gonna win the lottery.  ❞
  • ❝  i was born in the eye of a storm.  ❞
  • ❝  this hurricane in my brain is the burden i bear.  ❞
  • ❝  i’m here cause i wrote my way out.  ❞


  • ❝  an open letter to the fat, arrogant, anti - charismatic national embarrassment known as  ______.  ❞
  • ❝  the man’s irrational.  ❞
  • ❝  trick, please!  ❞
  • ❝  at least i do my job up in this rumpus.  ❞
  • ❝  the line is behind me, i crossed it again.  ❞
  • ❝  they were calling you a dick back in ‘76 and you really haven’t done anything new since.  ❞
  • ❝  you’re a nuisance with no sense.  ❞
  • ❝  you’ll die of irrelevance.  ❞
  • ❝  go ahead, you aspire to my level, you aspire to malevolence.  ❞
  • ❝  i don’t care if i kill my career with this letter.  ❞
  • ❝  sit down, _____, you fat motherfucker!  ❞


  • ❝  these are the times that try men’s souls.  ❞
  • ❝  tyranny, like hell, is not easily conquered; yet we have this consolation with us, that the harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph.  ❞
  • ❝  i am seeing the best minds of my generation waste away in pestilence and starvation.  ❞
  • ❝  is this all a test or have we met our doom?  ❞
  • ❝  i am beyond comprehension of their nonsense.  ❞
  • ❝  do you have no influence at all, you fucking skinflints?  ❞
  • ❝  tone it down.  ❞


  • ❝  it’s really astonishing that in a country founded by immigrants, immigrant has somehow become a bad word.  ❞
  • ❝  we all came to america trying to get a lap dance from lady freedom.  ❞
  • ❝  don’t think i didn’t notice those tombstones disguised as waves.  ❞
  • ❝  all you got to do is see the world with new eyes.  ❞
  • ❝  immigrants, we get the job done.  ❞
  • ❝  look how far i come.  ❞
  • ❝  we’re america’s ghost writers, the credit’s only borrowed.  ❞


  • ❝  congratulations, you have invented a new kind of stupid.  ❞
  • ❝  truly, you didn’t think this through? kinda stupid.  ❞
  • ❝  i begged you to take a break, you refused to  ❞
  • ❝  so scared of what your enemies might do to you. you’re the only enemy you ever seem to lose to!  ❞
  • ❝  you’ve redefined your legacy.  ❞
  • ❝  i lived only to read your letters.  ❞
  • ❝  i look at you and think ‘god, what have we done with our lives, and what did it get us?’  ❞
  • ❝  i’m back in the city and i’m here to stay.  ❞
  • ❝  i know what i’m here to do. i’m not here for you.  ❞


  • ❝  and whether or not you want it, guys, that is the final compromise we made.  ❞
  • ❝  we cannot cure prejudice or righteous, desperate hate.  ❞
  • ❝  but we can’t address the question if we do not have an answer.  ❞
  • ❝  is it my turn? good.  ❞
  • ❝  a land of the free? no it’s not, it’s hypocrisy.  ❞
  • ❝  how dare you.  ❞
  • ❝  well, you asked how i feel. i don’t pretend to know the answer, but the question is real.  ❞
  • ❝  let’s take this moment to establish a precedent.  ❞
  • ❝  do you really wanna have that conversation?  ❞
  • ❝  let’s hope the next generation thinks of something better.  ❞


  • ❝  it’s kinda crazy ‘cause people think i got it made just ‘cause i got paper.  ❞
  • ❝  i do got it made but that’s ‘cause i made it myself.  ❞
  • ❝  don’t matter what most people say.  ❞
  • ❝  i did everything that i want, i still don’t care what anybody else think.  ❞
  • ❝  it must be nice to have everybody on your side.  ❞


  • ❝  when i die, will heaven be done?  ❞
  • ❝  what will my legend become?  ❞
  • ❝  the path to perfection is rarely achieved. i head in that direction, i dream and believe.  ❞
  • ❝  the quills that i dip into the ink go to document and you’ll remember me when i’m extinct.  ❞
  • ❝  through hard times, we spark minds to keep the flame on.  ❞
  • ❝  will they tell your story in the end?  ❞


  • Wish me luck out there.
  • That’s pretty good.
  • Nice to see you again.
  • Thank you. That was very nice. Thank you.
  • We’ve all gone too big too fast.
  • You totally forget the lesson.
  • We’re all violent here, but you’re very friendly.
  • I don’t like confrontation.
  • I’ve never been in a fight before.
  • Do not fuck with me.
  • You could pour soup in my lap and I’ll probably apologize to you.
  • I’m so open and vulnerable.
  • I got married since then.
  • I love saying “my wife/husband.”
  • Stay away from my wife/husband!
  • Marriage is gonna be very magical.
  • Being married is so nice.
  • I never knew relationships were supposed to make you feel better about yourself.
  • I’d been in relationships where I got cheated on, like, long ones.
  • I don’t know if you’ve ever been in a long relationship
  • where you got cheated on, but it changes your whole worldview.
  • How could another person kill someone?
  • I’m not gonna do it, but I totally get it.
  • No one else can have you.
  • I don’t care about that.
  • It’s just creepy to have an ex out there after things have ended badly.
  • They have a lot of information.
  • Anyone who’s seen my dick/pussy and met my parents needs to die.
  • That’s not even a situation.
  • Aw, she’s/he’s ugly.
  • I know that’s awful, but wouldn’t you give a million
  • dollars to see that video?
  • Cause you know, how you lie to your parents. 
  • I got this under control.
  • They introduced a bunch of new shit.
  • Let’s see. What problems can we solve? Problem one. No.
  • It’s just a little bit wrong, isn’t it?
  • It’s just a little off.
  • I don’t have any children, I have a dog.
  • Go tell your fucking jokes.
  • Let’s pretend. It’ll be fun.
  • Let’s talk before we go in.
  • What is the animosity about?
  • So, this could be an office. Or maybe a nursery.
  • I went outside about as much as Powder from the movie Powder.
  • I didn’t mean to make it sound like we/I don’t want children. We/I don’t, but I didn’t mean to make it sound like that.
  • Sometimes babies will point at me, and I don’t care for that shit at all.
  • You’re never too young to learn our national no-snitching policy.
  • Someone can’t keep a secret!
  • It’s fun to be married.
  • I’ve never been supervised before.
  • I’m supervised. 
  • I had no supervision when I was a kid.
  • No one cared about my opinion. No one cared what I thought.
  • What do you think you’re doing?
  • I think Emily Dickinson’s a lesbian.
  • That’s not how life works.
  • I have had a very long day.
  • My dad/mom loved us. He just didn’t care about our
  • general happiness or self-esteem.
  • My dad/mom is cold-blooded.
  • Are you going to talk the entire time?
  • No one look at me or I’ll kill myself.
  • Hello? Hush!
  • What kind of a person are you?
  • I need you to believe me.
  • Remember, ______, at five o'clock, you need to keep looking like a hard-boiled egg.
  • I think about that every goddamn day.
  • The things they/you say mean nothing to
  • them/you, but they mean everything to me.
  • Eat ass, suck a dick and sell drugs.
  • I’m sorry you all had to hear that.
  • What should I do with my life?
  • What the hell is/are he/she/you trying to pull?
  • Hey, can I walk ya home?
  • It’s not like he’s/she’s gonna remember you.
  • What the hell are you talking about?
  • It was the best night of my entire life.
  • You have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair.
  • In terms of instant relief, canceling plans is like heroin.
  • I have a lot of stories about being a kid because it was the last time I was interesting.
  • You should be nervous.

Just One Word BPC - March

Day 1 - Travelling

The struggles of being a bookworm and going travelling…

John Mulaney: Comeback Kid Starters

❝ You have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair. ❞

❝ Anyone who’s seen my dick and met my parents needs to die. ❞

❝ Jesus Christ! What, were you two in the Eagles together? ❞

❝ What is the animosity about? ❞

❝ My vibe is more like, ‘Hey, you could pour soup in my lap and I’ll probably apologize to you.' ❞

❝ You will die on August 7th, 2037. ❞

❝ That’s pretty good. ❞

❝ Huh! It needs a belt. ❞

❝ Don’t get me wrong, my parents loved us. They just didn’t like us. ❞

❝ We were'nt friends. ❞

❝ My mom’s my best friend. ❞

❝ Oh, is she a super bad mom? ❞

❝ Somtimes babies will point at me, and I don’t care for that shit at all. ❞

❝ Don’t snitch, motherfuckah! ❞

❝ Eat ass, suck a dick and sell drugs. ❞

❝ If you eat enough ass and suck enough dick, one day you can sell drugs. ❞

❝ Here’s an on fire garbage can…could be a nursery. ❞

❝ Oh we have to go!! We have to go see ________ ! ❞

❝ Why? It’s not like he/she’s gonna remember you. ❞

❝ The other shoe has dropped. ❞

❝ Can I walk you home? ❞

❝ Can you imagine watching one of the people you went to school with becoming the president? ❞

❝ You can do everything you want forever. ❞

❝ So my dad pulled up to the drive thru window and ordered a black coffee. The one thing no kid can every enjoy ❞

❝ Because he never forgets a bitch ever! ❞

❝ Are you going to talk the entire time? ❞

❝ Black coffee. Same motherfucker. ❞

❝ I think Emily Dickinson’s a lesbian. ❞

❝ And also with you. ❞


❝ Marriage is going to be fun ❞

❝ Can my girlfriend come? ❞  

❝ I am the king and I can eat first whenever I want! –As long as it fits the schedule of a dog… ❞

John Mulaney Sentence Starters
  • “I was hoping by now that I would look older, but it didn’t happen.”
  • “I always thought that quicksand was gonna be a much bigger problem than it turned out to be.”
  • “I have been here all night. You can feel the TV, it’s warm.”
  • “Why do people do that? People always shush animals. They’ve never spoken.”
  • “Now when people make fun of me, I deserve it.”
  • “I meant to learn about cars, and then I forgot.”
  • “If you’re ever behind me on the highway, I just want you to know that I hear you honking, and I also don’t want me to be doing what I’m going.”
  • “I sure would like to.”
  • “If you’re comparing the badness of two words, and you won’t even say one of them, that’s the worse word.”
  • “You’re gonna have to get used to that.”
  • “I don’t like robots. Thinkin’ o’ things.”
  • “In terms of instant relief, canceling plans is like heroin.”
  • “That guy’s a bozo!”
  • “Hey mister, I found your treasure.”
  • “I think in Heaven they built three quarters of a gay person but forgot to flip the final switch.”
“You want me to do what?”
  • “I don’t drink, which is not what you’re supposed to do when you’re Irish.”
  • “I’m really sorry about last night, it’s just that I’m mean and loud. It probably will happen again.”
  • “Okay, let’s go over there and destroy the place.”
“Everyone was drinking like it was the end of the world.”
  • “I’ve never climbed a fence that high before.”
  • “That wasn’t what I was telling you, but alright. Let’s talk about this entirely new topic.”
  • “Excuse me. I am homeless. I am gay. I have AIDS. I’m new in town.”
  • “You had me at AIDS.”
  • “What are three other things about him?”
  • “I’ll take your advice, friend I’ve never listened to before.”
  • “This might as well happen. Adult life is already so goddamn weird.”
  • “Psh. You’re not gonna faint.”
Pride || Teenlock

It was a sunny day, rare in London for such an early time in the year, but amazingly fitting to the atmosphere that filled the busy field. Men, women and all those in between walked alone, hand in hand, with groups of friends, and all bore grins etched onto their lips.

The green grass sparkled and the teen found it to be littered with glitter and confetti as he walked across it. He was in awe of what was going on, everything surrounding him, but tread carefully and stuck to the sidelines. If he had been given permission to be here, he might be less cautious about being seen, however his parents had harsh disproval for the event, and everything it stood for, and so John Watson sat in the grass under the shade of a tree. Alone, lost only to his thoughts as he wondered if he could ever show his true self.

He’d known he had attraction to both Men and Women for over a year now, but after his sister was kicked out for her drunk habits and girlfriend, he dared not speak of it to his parents. If he had to leave home now he would have no clue where to go.

With a sigh he pulled at the grass beside his knee where he sat crossed legged, and watched once more the bustling crowd of people all joyous and caring.

John stepped out of his dorm, ready to join his new classmates on his first day at Avenir. As he walked throughout the beautiful campus, he couldn’t help but greet everyone he walked by. It was enjoyable to interact with his peers. It was at one point, when he was departing with his latest meet-and-greet that John turned, and ran right into the person who’d been trying to walk past him. 

“Oh dear!” John exclaimed, “I’m so very sorry! Are you alright? Here–”John offered his hand–”Let me help you up!”

     are you free to talk?    uh,   it might sound a bit  silly …    but it’s about  SHERLOCK.    

The Jumper ||

John huffed as he leant against the inside of 221B’s door, saying he’d had a long day would be an understatement by now. After running around the streets of London for a few hours he’d finally managed to escape the unforgiving jaws of… birthday present shopping.

Now something like that may sound incredibly easy but alas when one is shopping for no other than Sherlock Holmes, gifts are a wide and yet incredibly empty topic. After all what does somebody buy for the worlds only consulting detective?

With a sigh at the thought, John tucked the roll of wrapping paper under his arm and shifted the bags in his hands. He couldn’t know if Sherlock would actually like his gift, but it was too late to go back now. Treading carefully he walked straight to his room, knowing full well Sherlock may easily deduce what he was carrying, but at the very least /trying/ to keep it secret.

@julietthotelwhiskey ( continued from our text adventures. )

                                             This was FAR from how Sherlock Holmes had expected his evening to play out; never had he imagined that a couple TYPOS in the beginning of a text conversation would result in him now sitting in the corner booth on the mezzanine is some pub downtown. As CAPTAIN JOHN WATSON made his way over through crowds of people like a man on a MISSION to save him from a bit of unwanted company. It was only sheer amusement at the drunken, new money lawyer’s obliviousness ( or down right lack of care ) to his rejections & in how VEXED the idea of said lawyer made his friend that had kept Sherlock from saying something that would evoke a scene. That, mixed with the strong truth that he cared very little about the moron, who had INVITED HIMSELF to the seat he had SAVED for John, to engage with him in a more serious way. However, the texts he had tipsily typed & the redness of his face, told Sherlock that he would LIKELY not have to tolerate this IDIOCY much longer. Besides, the texts that the two had been sharing had proved to be very REVEALING, and he was curious is seeing where further INVESTIGATIONS would lead them.

                                                The DRUNK, who kept referring to him as the barkeep ( but that was due more to the disguise he had been using, and less the impairment of alcohol ), hardly REGISTERED the fact that Sherlock continually looked PASSED him & down on his mobile to send John texts through the crowds. A group of office co-workers out for after dinner drinks served as the remaining BARRIER; a gaggle of mostly female, middle-class with medium pressure jobs, between the ages 25-40 stood between him & salvation. Allowing him to send off ONE LAST message & receive a damn near instant reply ( impressively fast, as John’s other hand held the third glass of Whiskey that Sherlock had sent his way ).

                [txt: john watson ]: Now, kindly remove this imbecile. 
                [txt: sherlock holmes ]: With pleasure.

Worse than Hell

Azazel laid curled up, a weak smile on his lips as his hand softly brushed his slightly rounded stomach. That John… even now he didn’t quit the plan to kill the demon.

The pain was excruciating. Azazel had no idea how John’s soul ended up stuck inside him instead of going to Hell, or how did he begin growing. But it happened, and now the demon was carrying his worst enemy in the same way mothers carried their infants.

The new being was absorbing all the energy from Azazel to sustain the new life - his power and his strengt. His essense was painful and his vessel was in constant agony - it’s vitals were reforming to adjust to the… fetus?

And though Azazel refused to get rid of John despite all the cirumstances. Some kind of maternal instinct, or his obsession with children it was, didn’t let him to. He will protect that little creature with his life or death. He will raise his little soldier strong. No, not for Lucifer. For himself. Only for himself, nobody will touch his John.

Suddenly, his gaze shot up, eyes wide as two people crashed into the place. The… Winchesters?