starter john

random sentence starters!

here’s a list of dialogue prompts that you can request from bc i love making these and they totally help with writer’s block!! so feel free to send in a number and a muse :-) **i’ll probably continue to add on to this as time goes on btw

  1. ❝i think about it every day and every night.❞
  2. ❝i.. i can’t stay..❞
  3. ❝what did you just call me?❞ 
  4. ❝i couldn’t care less. i’m with you right now, that’s all that matters.❞ 
  5. ❝please, don’t go. don’t leave me.❞ 
  6. ❝you still love her, huh?❞ 
  7. ❝frankly, my dear, i don’t give a damn❞ 
  8. ❝i’m not ready for them to find out about us.❞ 
  9. ❝it was always you.❞ 
  10. ❝you’re a coward.❞ 
  11. ❝it certainly took them long enough.❞ 
  12. ❝you’re the best part of me.❞ 
  13. ❝stay the night. please.❞ 
  14. ❝well, well. my night just got better.❞ 
  15. ❝my life would be so boring if you weren’t in it.❞ 
  16. ❝i didn’t think love existed until i met you.❞ 
  17. ❝when were you going to tell me?❞ 
  18. ❝[name], you look tired. come to bed.❞ 
  19. ❝i want to marry you.❞ 
  20. ❝you’ll be fine, i promise.❞ 
  21. ❝please get up.❞ 
  22. ❝you know i’m/we’re here for you, right?❞ 
  23. ❝don’t look at me like that.❞ 
  24. ❝your lips are so soft. i could kiss them all day.❞ 
  25. ❝i can’t fall in love with you. i don’t want all the pain that comes with that.❞ 
  26. ❝it’s nice that your voice was the first thing i heard today.❞ 
  27. ❝aww, you’re blushing like a rose!❞ 
  28. ❝you don’t need to leave so soon.❞ 
  29. ❝i can’t believe i got the first date, let slone the first year!❞ 
  30. ❝i don’t think i can do this without you.❞ 
  31. ❝i tried to move on but nobody is you.❞ 
  32. ❝you know, [name], i’m glad we’re here together.❞ 
  33. ❝hello, i’m [name], and i’m completely available.❞ 
  34. ❝i never wanted any of this to happen to you.❞ 
  35. ❝whatever it takes, isn’t that what you said?❞ 
  36. ❝i’d give up so much to have another chance.❞ 
  37. ❝you think i wanted all this?!❞ 
  38. ❝i made mistakes.. and i can’t keep pretending they didn’t happen.❞ 
  39. ❝you made mistakes.. and you can’t keep pretending they didn’t happen.❞ [for a angstier fic] 
  40. ❝this is what life’s about.❞ 
  41. ❝i’m just saying.. please believe in something.❞ 
  42. ❝you’re going to be fine.❞ 
  43. ❝it’s easier to be by myself.❞ 
  44. ❝i made i promise and now it seems that i won’t be able to keep it.❞ 
  45. ❝they don’t hate you.❞ 
  46. ❝i’m an open book.❞ 
  47. ❝i’m not going to stop leaving marks until I’m sure that every knows you’re mine.❞ 
  48. ❝look! the is so beautiful tonight!❞ 
  49. ❝if you shut up people might actually think you’re smart.❞ 
  50. ❝you have something in your hair.. um–do you want me to get it out?❞ 
  51. ❝look, I know we don’t know each other that well, but i’m still worried about you. no one deserves to be alone.❞ 
  52. ❝you could’ve died, you know?❞ 
  53. ❝can i offer you a drink?❞ 
  54. ❝coming here was your idea.❞ 
  55. ❝chin up. there’s always next time.❞ 
  56. ’Fine’? Are you mad?❞ 
  57. ❝there are rules. even for one such as you.❞ 
  58. ❝there is a thin line between a martyr and a fool.❞ 
  59. ❝oh, c’mon! i came all this way.❞ 
  60. ❝shame.  i kind of liked you.❞ 
  61. ❝i still believe there is a good person in you.❞ 
  62. ❝you’re kidding right? Right?❞ 
  63. ❝i knew this day would come.. sooner or later.❞ 
  64. ❝i’ll be fine, i promise.❞ 
  65. ❝i just want to hold you.❞ 
  66. ❝you know we belong together. i knew it the first time i saw you, and you know it, too. i know you do.❞ 
  67. ❝could i sit here? all the other tables are full.❞ 
  68. ❝i came here to explain and i’m not leaving until you listening.❞ 
  69. ❝stay alive for me, please.❞ 
  70. ❝i promise.❞ 
  71. ❝you’re the best part of me.❞ 
  72. ❝are you really taking their side against mine?❞ 
  73. ❝i had to see you again.❞ 
  74. ❝help me understand.❞ 
  75. ❝look, i don’t have much time, but i wanted to tell you that i love you.❞ 
  76. ❝no one needs to know.❞
  77. ❝you people are insufferable.❞ 
  78. ❝yes, s/he is.. s/he’s perfect.❞ 
  79. ❝i don’t believe i’ve introduced myself properly. how rude of me!❞ 
  80. ❝may i ask for a name to put to a lovely face?❞ 
  81. ❝just hold me.❞ 
  82. ❝i’m with you, okay? always.❞ 
  83. ❝s/he started it!❞ 
  84. ❝i didn’t realize i needed your permission.❞ 
  85. ❝everyone i’ve loved has either died or left me and i’ll be damned if you name is added to that list.❞ 
  86. ❝how could you let this happen?!❞ 
  87. ❝i’ll be fine love.❞ 
  88. ❝stop worrying so much! i’m grown i can take care of myself!❞ 
  89. ❝if i didn’t know any better, i’d say you’re trying to seduce me.❞ 
  90. ❝i wish i never even met her/him!❞ 
  91. ❝you thought you had a choice?❞ 
  92. ❝i don’t have a choice, [name].❞ 
  93. ❝you’ll do amazing, just like always.❞ 
  94. ❝you’re ridiculously comfortable..❞ 
  95. ❝a little cuddling won’t kill you, i promise.❞ 
  96. ❝i always sleep better when you’re here with me.❞ 
  97. ❝it isn’t up for debate.❞ 
  98. ❝you’re so cute when you’re half asleep like this.❞ 
  99. ❝i can’t do this anymore.. not with you..❞ 
  100. ❝i’ve had a rough day and honestly all i want right now is a drink and someone to cuddle with.❞ 
John Mulaney Sentence Starters
  • : Here's how easy it was to get away with a bank robbery in the 30s: as long as you weren't still there when the police arrived, you had a 99% chance of getting away with it.
  • : It's 100% easier not to do things than to do them.
  • : I was once on the telephone with blockbuster.
  • : I think Emily Dickinson's a lesbian.
  • : Being president looks like the worst job in the world.
  • : Why do people shush animals? They've never spoken.
  • : Things don't exist until they exist.
  • : You have the moral backbone of a chocolate éclair.
  • : You all have a relative who is an expert even though they really don't know what they're talking about.
  • : Sometimes babies will point at me, and I don't care for that shit at all.
  • : I definitely look like a toddler.
  • : You will die on August 7th, 2037.
  • : Everyone get out of the way! I just want to sit here and feed my birds.
  • : One feels like a duck splashing around in all this wet!
  • : Anyone who's seen my dick and met my parents needs to die.
  • : They haven't let their minds wander since Egypt.
  • : Adult life is already so goddamn weird!
  • : This is an on fire garbage can.
  • : I look like I was just sitting in a room in a chair eating saltines for like twenty-eight years.
  • : In terms of instant relief, canceling plans is like heroin.
  • : Would like an old turnip that we found in a cabinet?
  • : Quack quack!
  • : I'll keep all my emotions in here and one day I'll die.

Oh, Hello on Broadway Sentence Starters

  • “Oh, hello.”
  • “Charmed I’m sure, I’m _____.”
  • “Theater is the hot, new thing right now.”
  • “We’re filming this as a special for Investigation Discovery.”
  • “But we like to joke that ____ is the master of fun.”
  • “How can I describe the kind of vibe we give off?”
  • “You know when you walk by a travel agency, and you’re like, ‘what?’”
  • “I’m the type of man you would catch at a party going through the coats.”
  • “Each death learning from and improving upon the death before it.”
  • “I am a Tony Award viewing actor.”
  • “It’s a cold wrap, a warm Sierra Mist.”
  • “He wouldn’t let me sulk for one single second.”
  • “We started doing heroin that afternoon.”
  • “It was inspired by, and directly stolen from.”
  • “Who’s that? Who’s that guy?”
  • “When a famous person dies, blame the year, and make it about you.”
  • “We come out with bowler hats on. We take them off, we got two tuna sandwiches on our heads.”
  • “It was like— hey, shut the door— it was like…”
  • “Have you fucking tried dealing with the Shubert Organization?”
  • “They have everything at this place. Old props, old costumes, the cast of Newsies huddled over a flaming garbage can.”
  • “Which the city of New York informs us is a massive fire hazard.”
  • “Why he wore a dress to make a phone call, we will never know.”
  • “Perhaps you didn’t have time before the show to eat at Guy Fieri’s Great American Garbage Fire.”
  • “Her head ended up where?”
  • “That guy is sick as a dick!”
  • “Do you wanna know why? Do you wanna know why, ___? Because I could not afford Adobe Photoshop!”
  • “Alright, we’re having a nice time, so…”
  • “Oh waiter? I’ll have one more root beer, please.”
  • “Not in life, or in the play, ever put your nail in between my nail, in my fingie meat.”
  • “For real, don’t ever do that again. For real.”
  • “What are we? Two characters with different perspectives?”
  • “Twenty-five hundred dollars for a measly five-bedroom with office, crown molding, and fireplace?”
  • “___, is there a— fucking wait!”
  • “Are we on the same team?”
  • “Yeah! The ‘86 Mets.”
  • “Good news comes in thin envelopes.”
  • “Boy, that guy’s going back to Chinatown.”
  • “My father’s in a pitch black room drinking whiskey, and we are not allowed in there.”
  • “On one hand, I was sad my mother killed herself, but on the other hand, I was happy it was my birthday.”
  • “I’ll go banana bread on you, and it’ll be too dry to swallow!”
  • “You need to lose like, seven pounds.”
  • “I’m at Columbia University— as a trespasser.”
  • “Fun fact: I’m the only guy to get kicked out of a cult for being too into it.”
  • “Watch out, raccoons, they’ll steal your food, but next thing you know, they’ll steal your heart.”
  • “First off, we do not have the rights to Bill Joel’s ‘Movin’ Out.’“
  • “You’re God’s born loser, you know that?”
  • “No. No escape. Hey— no, no!”
  • “You know what? Our game show where contestants had to guess what you knew?”
  • “And the one time that guy guessed it, I lied.”
  • “The menu is like nineteen pages long, and even though it’s a diner, it has stuff like lobster on it.”
  • “Could I get a 1970′s coffee? So watery, and grey, and a gun next to it on the table.”
  • “And they don’t at all get a huge fucking tuna comeuppance.”
  • “Thank you for that measured compliment.”
  • “Did Jews not control the world of art?”
  • “When I realized card tricks were actually a trick, I said there must be no God.”
  • “the point is, we used to drink fish.”
  • “Well, we could be living in the subway tunnel if you hadn’t blown it with the mole people.”
  • “I hate to be the first to say it, but New York has changed.”
  • “The 1990′s! Mad About You, pesto sauce, O.J. Simpson breaks his 45-year no killing streak.”
  • “Could you imagine doing something so fucked up, there’s no more Toyota Camry?”
  • “But you’re Jewish and she’s a raccoon!”
  • “It’s just— I’ve never had money before, and I want some.”
  • “The baby is demonic!”
  • “I’m on the floor.”
  • “Could you get me a Ferraro Roche chocolate? Or a Lindt Lindor Truffle? My favorite flavor is blue.”
  • “I need you to go to Just Salad, at like, one P.M. when they’re at their busiest, and just get online and be like ‘now let’s see, how does this work?’“
  • “Will you go to the Magnolia Bakery as featured in the Sex and the City walking tour and just open fire?”
  • “Will you go to Long Island City, Queens? ‘Cause I won’t.”
  • “A look that can only be described as Pussy Safari.”
  • “It’s like, suddenly jewelry stores do have a bathroom I can use?”
  • “You got clam juiced, you white trash idiot.”
  • “Would you stop the Super Bowl halfway through to do a bunch of bullshit?”
  • “You wanted to hear how fucked up I am inside?”
  • “Nobody’ll say it, but Shakespeare is a fucking hack, alright?”
  • “Have we owned this the entire time?”
  • “I’m so sorry that I lied to you about a life changing voice-over opportunity, and then bullied you for forty years.”
  • “I’m so sorry that I really didn’t do anything wrong.”
  • “Oh no, that’s okay, waiter. I bring my own chair places.”
  • “Most of those teens only bought the book because in it, I explained how to make a bomb.”
  • “Oh waiter? I’ll have— well, I’ll have two root beers, please.”
How to lose followers Starter Pack- Hamilton Addition

-Not ship the major ships in the fandom

-Not like Hamilton as he was in history

-Have knowledge that Thomas Jefferson and Hamilton were friends

-Like John Adams more

-Call Jamilton abusive and Lams over-sexualised by many because they lose insight into valid relationships only worrying about sex

- Call them out on what Hamilton and Laurens historically looked like

- Not agree with the white-washing argument ‘but they were white in history’

New In Town Starters

“I don’t look older, I just look worse.”

“I always thought quicksand was gonna be a much bigger problem than it turned out to be”

“if you watch cartoons, quicksand is like the third biggest thing you have to worry about in adult life behind real sticks of dynamite and anvils falling on you from the sky.”

“I think I’m becoming more like my mom. I was watching Access Hollywood, and one of the reporters said ‘up next we have and exclusive interview with Sandra Bullock’s former husband, Jesse James.’ And out loud I went ‘uhg! This oughta be good!’”

“One time I was in bed and my dad came in and said ‘good night (name) did you brush your teeth?’ And I said ‘yes’ but here’s the thing… I hadn’t.”

“If the court reporter reads back my remarks you will see that I did not purger myself.”

“She would just make wild accusations all day long and wait for something to stick.”

“My mom would blame me for things that happened on the news. That is true.”

“(Name) I have been here all night! You can feel the tv, it’s warm.”

“Luckily I had a good alibi because I was in Wisconsin and twelve.”

“My brothers and sisters and I had this babysitter when we were kids and I was in love with her.”

“Why was she in charge?!”

“That’s just like hiring a slightly bigger child.”

“That would be like if you were going out of town for the week and you paid a horse to watch your dog.”

“Why do people shush animals? They’ve never spoken.”

“This is the height of luxury!”

“Lost in New York? The streets are numbered! How did you get lost in New York?”

“It’s a grid system motherfucker. Where you at? 24th and 5th? Where you wanna go? 35th and 6th? 11 up and 1 over you simple bitch.”

“When I was in grade school I was bullied for being Asian American and… the biggest problem with that… is that I am not Asian american.”

“On the first day that he met me, the guy that is now my best friend went home and said ‘papa, today I met a boy with no eyes’ and that was me.”

“Thirteen year olds are the meanest people in the world. They terrify me to this day.”

“8th graders will make fun of you but in an accurate way.”

“No! that’s the thing I’m sensitive about!”

“First off: no.”

“If you’re comparing the badness of two words and you won’t even say one of them, that’s the worse word.”

“Midgets were never enslaved! Unless you count the Wonka factory!”

“It was really easy to get away with murder before they knew about DNA.”

“Here’s how easy it was to get away with bank robbery back in the 30s: as long as you weren’t still there when the police arrived, you had a 99% chance of getting away with it.”

“Oh good it has a mind of its own, that’s very reassuring.”

“It’s 100% easier not to do things, and so much fun not to do them. Especially when you were supposed to do them.”

“In terms of like instant relief, canceling plans is like heroin.”

“I’ve never been killed by hit men, so I don’t know what it’s like in the moments right before you’re killed by hit men, but I bet it’s not unlike when you’re on the subway and you realize that a mariachi band is about to start playing.”

“It doesn’t have to be right, it just has to be short.”

“A hero is any man that does his job.”

“A bozo is any man that cheats on his wife.”

“I went into the room to get the massage and the woman there told me to undress to my comfort level. So I put on a sweater and a pair of corduroy pants, and I felt safe.”

“Hey mister! I found your treasure!”

“If I got a plate of crack for the table would you have some?”

“I have a girlfriend now myself, which is weird because I’m probably gay, based on how I act and behave and have walked and talked for 28 years.”

“I think I was supposed to be gay. I think in heaven they built like three quarters of a gay person and they forgot to flip the final switch and just sent me out.”

“Everyone get out of my way! I just wanna sit here and feed my birds.”

“You want me to do what?”

“We’ve been going pretty hot and heavy lately, I think it’s time we brought in two older catholic people.”

“I listen to everything my girlfriend says. I don’t mean she bosses me around, I just mean that before I had a girlfriend, I never had someone who was always standing next to me and could just point out obvious things that are happening.”

“I don’t look like someone who used to do anything.”

“Oh hey, (name), would you like an old turnip we found in a cabinet? Would that be good for you? Would you like that? I know you don’t drink!”

“I’m really sorry about last night, I was just so drunk.”

“I’m really sorry about last night, it’s just that I’m mean and loud. It probably will happen again.”

“I don’t drink anymore because I used to drink too much and I would black out and ‘ruin parties’ –or so I’m told.”

“ I was 20 and I was at a party at someone’s house and I blacked out drinking and someone came out of one of the rooms at this party holding an old antique bottle with some liquid in it and they said ‘hey, is this whiskey or perfume?’ And apparently I grabbed it, drank all of it and said ‘it’s perfume.’ And it was.”

“(name) was an asshole and one weekend he and his wife decided to leave town, which you should never do if you’re an asshole.”

“Okay, lets go over there and destroy the place.”

“I walked into this party, everyone I had ever met was there and everyone was drinking like it was the end of the world.”

“People were drinking like it was the civil war and a doctor was coming to saw our legs off.”

“They had a pool table in the basement, one kid got a running start and threw his body onto the pool table and broke it in half.”

“I’m standing in the basement and I’m holding a red cup - you’ve seen movies - and I’m starting to black out. And I guess someone said like ‘something something police’ and in a brilliant moment of word association, I shouted ‘FUCK DUH POLICE’ and everyone else joined in. A hundred white, drunk children yelling ‘fuck. duh. police’ with the confidence of guys that have like already been to jail and aren’t afraid of it anymore.”

“My friend – who is now a father, this man now has a baby – grabbed a 40, smashed it on the ground and yelled ‘SCATTER!’ And everyone ran in different directions.”

“I ran into the laundry room and hopped up onto the washing machine and climbed out a window into the back yard and I’m running through the back yard and there’s this huge chain link fence and I thought ‘I have never climbed a fence that high before!’ And then I woke up and home.“

“And I said ‘no’ you know, like a liar.”

“And I had that thought, that only black out drunks and Steve Urkel can have: did I do that? I figured no, I wouldn’t have done that, but I was never sure.”

“he takes me into his bedroom and then he takes me into a side room off of his bedroom- never a good thing to have.”

“WHY? WHY DO YOU DO THIS?”

“Because it’s the one thing you can’t replace.”

“That’s the end of that story but how fucked up is that?”

“I was going into my building late at night and in front of my building I saw a wheel chair knocked over on its side, with no one in it. That’s a bad thing to see. Something happened there, you hope it was a miracle, but probably not.”

“That wasn’t what I was telling you, but alright, let’s talk about this entirely new topic.”

“Excuse me, I am homeless, I am gay, I have AIDS and I’m new in town.”

“That is not the most dramatic thing that you just said.”

“Hey would you help me out? I’m very gay, I’d like a few dollars.”

“Yeah that’s the type of lowbrow shit I’m looking for.”

❝   john   mulaney   /   starter   sentences.

here   are   some   john   mulaney   starter   sentences !   you   know,   the   salt   and   pepper   diner   guy.   feel   free   to   change   the   pronouns   to   make   these   fit !

‘ you have the moral backbone of a chocolate éclair. ‘
‘ anyone who’s seen my dick and met my parents needs to die; i can’t have them roaming around. ‘
‘ i’ll keep all my emotions right here, and then one day i’ll die. ‘
‘ i was once on the phone with blockbuster video, which is a very old-fashioned sentence. ‘
‘ because bill clinton never forgets a bitch. ‘
‘ in terms of like, instant relief, canceling plans is like heroin. ‘
‘ excuse me: i am homeless. i am gay. i have aids. i’m new in town. ‘
‘ the more you do stuff, the better you get at dealing with how you still fail at it a lot of the time. ‘
‘ i’ll book a ticket on some garbage airline. i don’t wanna name an actual airline so lets make one up, lets just call it delta airlines. ‘
‘ i was always the squarest person in the cool room, and alternatively, sometimes the weirder person at the mainstream table. ‘
‘ i have a lot of stories about being a kid because it was the last time I was interesting. ‘
‘ why do people shush animals? they’ve never spoken. ‘
‘ comfort is everything. you start doing something and you want it to be perfect right away, but most babies are born ugly and then they shake it out and you get beautiful toddlers. ‘
‘ i’m a very lucky person. i’m an idiot, and i’ve shoveled through life rather nicely so far, so i don’t feel like i deserve good treatment. ‘
‘ i always thought that quicksand was gonna be a much bigger problem than it turned out to be. ‘
‘ one thing that the character mickey mouse is lacking is any personality traits whatsoever. ‘
‘ you can do good work simply staying up all night and eating nothing but junk food, but probably not in the long term. ‘
‘ you can’t always see both sides of the story. eventually, you have to pick a side and stick with it. no more equivocating. you have to commit. ‘

2

Some Sentence Starters + Gifs (1/?):

(for anyone who needs a bit of inspiration)

  • “Is there anything else I should know, (Y/N)?”
  • “Y/N, stay outside. I’ll handle this.”
  • “You should go… now, (Y/N).”
  • “What are you doing here?”
  • “Now’s not a good time.”

John Mulaney: Comeback Kid Starters

❝ You have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair. ❞

❝ Anyone who’s seen my dick and met my parents needs to die. ❞

❝ Jesus Christ! What, were you two in the Eagles together? ❞

❝ What is the animosity about? ❞

❝ My vibe is more like, ‘Hey, you could pour soup in my lap and I’ll probably apologize to you.' ❞

❝ You will die on August 7th, 2037. ❞

❝ That’s pretty good. ❞

❝ Huh! It needs a belt. ❞

❝ Don’t get me wrong, my parents loved us. They just didn’t like us. ❞

❝ We were'nt friends. ❞

❝ My mom’s my best friend. ❞

❝ Oh, is she a super bad mom? ❞

❝ Somtimes babies will point at me, and I don’t care for that shit at all. ❞

❝ Don’t snitch, motherfuckah! ❞

❝ Eat ass, suck a dick and sell drugs. ❞

❝ If you eat enough ass and suck enough dick, one day you can sell drugs. ❞

❝ Here’s an on fire garbage can…could be a nursery. ❞

❝ Oh we have to go!! We have to go see ________ ! ❞

❝ Why? It’s not like he/she’s gonna remember you. ❞

❝ The other shoe has dropped. ❞

❝ Can I walk you home? ❞

❝ Can you imagine watching one of the people you went to school with becoming the president? ❞

❝ You can do everything you want forever. ❞

❝ So my dad pulled up to the drive thru window and ordered a black coffee. The one thing no kid can every enjoy ❞

❝ Because he never forgets a bitch ever! ❞

❝ Are you going to talk the entire time? ❞

❝ Black coffee. Same motherfucker. ❞

❝ I think Emily Dickinson’s a lesbian. ❞

❝ And also with you. ❞

❝ THAT’S MY WIFE! ❞

❝ Marriage is going to be fun ❞

❝ Can my girlfriend come? ❞  

❝ I am the king and I can eat first whenever I want! –As long as it fits the schedule of a dog… ❞

Looking For Alaska Starters!
  • “That didn’t happen, of course, Things never happened the way I imagined them.”
  • “No one can catch the motherfucking fox.”
  • “Now, about this Jesus fellow…”
  • “I know so many last words. But I will never know hers.”
  • “I’m really not up for answering any questions that start with how, when, where, why, or what.”
  • “Y’all smoke to enjoy it. I smoke to die.”
  • “He honked my boob!"
  • “This is so much fun, but I’m so sleepy. To be continued?”
  • “I’ll have more time for reading when I’m old and boring.”
  • “I’d finally had enough of chasing a ghost who did not want to be discovered.”
  • “I’m just scared of ghosts, _____. And home is full of them.”
  • “That deep, can-still-taste-her-in-my-mouth sleep.”
  • “If people were rain, I’d be a drizzle and she’d be a hurricane.”
  • “You never get me. That’s the whole point.”
  • “Could the two people who are making out please be quiet?”

Just One Word BPC - March

Day 1 - Travelling

The struggles of being a bookworm and going travelling…

RP starters inspired by Elton John songs
Feel free to change pronouns !

  • “I’m not one of those who can easily hide.”
  • “I know it’s not much but it’s the best I can do.”
  • “Yours are the sweetest eyes I’ve ever seen.”
  • “I miss the earth so much.”
  • “I’m not the man they think I am at home.”
  • “It’s cold as hell.”
  • “You’ll marry a music man.”
  • “How it feels so real, lying here with no one near.”
  • “You had a busy day today.”
  • “They set you on the treadmill and they made you change your name.”
  • “Your candle burned out long before your legend ever did.”
  • “You hide behind that mask you use.”
  • “I’m still standing after all this time.”
  • “The threats you made were meant to cut me down.”
  • “It’s enough for this restless warrior just to be with you.”
  • “Can you feel the love tonight?”
  • “It’s two hearts living in two separate worlds.”
  • “They’re weird and they’re wonderful.”
  • “Don’t look at it like it’s forever.”
  • “I could honestly say that things can only get better.”
  • “Picture my face in your hands.”
  • “Live for each second without hesitation.”
  • “I should have listened to my old man.”
  • “You know you can’t hold me forever.”
  • “You can’t plant me in your penthouse.”
  • “There’s plenty like me to be found.”
  • “You could roll around the globe and never find a warmer soul to know.”
  • “You will never know anything about my home.”
  • “I’ll never know how good it feels to hold you.”
  • “Do you ever see the letters that I write?”
John Mulaney: The Comeback Kid Starters

“Wish me luck out there.”
“We’ve all gone too big too fast and then run out of room.”
“We’ve all made a ‘Happy Birthday’ sign.”
“I don’t need to trace it. I know how big letters should be.”
“Yeah, but that past is the past.”
“I mean, we’re all violent here, but you’re very friendly.”
“And I don’t like confrontation cuz I’ve never been in a fight before.”

“I don’t give off that vibe.”
“Some people give off that vibe of like ‘Do not fuck with me.’ My vibe is more like ‘Hey, you could pour soup in my lap and I’ll probably apologize to you’.”
“I’m so open and vulnerable. I look like a doll that you point out molestation on.”
“Show us on this white comedian where the man touched you.”
“I got married since then.”
“I love saying ‘my wife’. It sounds so adult.”
“’My wife’ just has some kick ass to it, y’know?”
“Marriage is gonna be very magical.”
“I didn’t kill my wife!”
“Ooh, who’s that fella? I bet he did kill his wife.”
“When I was a kid I used to watch ‘America’s Most Wanted’ and I would always think to myself ‘How could another person kill someone? How could a human being kill another human being?’ And then I got cheated on and I was like ‘Oh, okay. I’m not gonna do it but I totally get it’.”
“Anyone who’s seen my dick and met my parents needs to die.”
“Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?”
“It’s a bananas insulting expression.”
“You’re not allowed to milk a cow that you don’t own.” 
“Ah-ha-ha, I take your milk!” 
[ mooing angrily ]
“Roping in cows and getting milk out of them was never anything you were known for, ____.”
“A lot of people think that you like bulls.”
“Sure, s/he’s a bossy little Jew, but s/he takes care of you.”
“I was raised Catholic, I don’t know if you can tell that from the everything about me.” 
“What’s the name of the bishop?
“That’s actually stand-up comedian Dan Levy.”
“And a hush falls over the room.” 
“I was a French maid for a period of time. I was treated well in my day. I worked for a variety of sirs.” 
“Aw, she’s ugly.”
“Cause you know how you lie to your parents?” 
“And then I got schooled because they introduced a bunch of new shit.”
“Have a nice day.” 
“And also you having one.” 
“I like having a puppy that’s a bulldog, ‘cause it’s like having a baby that is also a grandma.” 
“Her body is young, her face is as old as time.” 
“Oh, the things I have seen, you cocksucker.” 
“_____ is my best friend in the world. I give her a million kisses a day.” 
“Hey, you’re bad at being a dog.” 
“Ah, yes, my title of alpha which I once had, how can I reclaim it?” 
“You need to show dominance over your puppy.” 
“Oh, yes, and what a mighty king I will be, eating dinner at 4:45 in the afternoon.” 
“We’re space aliens in a play about human beings that they wrote, but didn’t work that hard on.” 
“You’re not eating dinner, cocksucker.” 
“2029? That’s not a real year.” 
“What, were you two in the Eagles together? What is the animosity about?” 
“Stop snitchin’, motherfucker.” 
“You’re never too young to learn our national no-snitching policy.” 
“Hey, do you know what you’re supposed to say when a baby points at you and knowing says, ‘He has a penis?’. No, I”m asking. ‘Cuz I don’t know what to say in that situation.” 
“It’s okay, s/he’s just going through that phase where s/he says penis and vagina a lot.” 
“Well, y’know how I”m filled with rage? I’m so horny and angry all the time and I have no outlet for it. So… eggs.”  
“I don’t know. I know you told me. But I have had a very long day. I am very small. And I have no money. So you can imagine the kind of stress that I am under.” 
(First Name Middle Name Last Name), did you bite this nice man’s dick?” 
“Hey, doesn’t anyone wanna know why his dick was near my biters in the first place? Isn’t anyone curious as to how I had access?” 
“So, how’d you lose your arm?” 
“Well, I was born with only one arm.” 
“We’re not so different, you and I. You have your law practice, and I have all these fucking markers. I guess we both have responsibilities when you look at it that way.” 
“My dad loved us, he just didn’t care about our general happiness or self-esteem.” 
“My dad is cold-blooded. He once shushed a kid during Lion King on Broadway.” 
“You remember being 12, when you’re like ‘No one look at me or I’ll kill myself’?” 
“Ah! One feels like a duck splashing around in all this wet! And when one feels like a duck, one is happy!” 
“Ooh, ducklings!” 
“Too old to a be a duckling. Quack, quack.” 
“My duckling days are behind me. _____, don’t you see? I’m a duck now.” 
“Eat ass, suck a dick, and sell drugs.” 
“He is a smooth and fantastic hillbilly who should be declared Emperor of the United States of America.” 
“Oh, me? I’m just an old old man. I don’t have the appetites.” 
“I slid in the room in my First Communion suit, ready to go.” 
“He never forgets a bitch. Ever.” 
“You can do whatever you want forever.” 
“You have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair.” 

❛ John Winchester ❜ from Supernatural.

               | | Hey there, I’m starting up a John blog, hunter and (not-so-proud)parent of the Winchester boys, Sam and Dean. I’ve got 4-5+ years of writing experience experience, but I’m new to John and want to get things started. :) Make sure to read my rules and other information too !!

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rules | about | verses

‘Call of Duty: Modern Warfare’ Series – sentence starters

  • “Just another day at the office.”
  • “I was starting to think that you were gonna leave me behind.”
  • “Nice! Your fruit killing skills are remarkable.”
  • “I like to keep this for close encounters.”
  • “Crap, I can’t move! Sorry, mate. You’re gonna have to carry me.”
  • “Sheeit, kid’s got some issues.”
  • “The word ‘stealth’ doesn’t mean anything to you, does it?”
  • “Man, you look like a clown in that outfit.”
  • “It’s now or never, take the shot!”
  • “Pooch doesn’t look too friendly.”
  • “You ever hear the old saying, “the enemy of my enemy is my friend”?”
  • “To know you’re close to the end is a kind of freedom.”
  • “His truth will be the truth. But only if he lives, and we die.”
  • “Dogs. I *hate* dogs.”
  • “This was a one-way flight, mate.”
  • “Have to trust someone to be betrayed. I never did.”
  • “Did [name] just tell us to go “F” ourselves?”
  • “You know what they say about revenge, you’d better be ready to dig two graves.”
  • “I guess I have to do everything myself?”
  • “Our weapons still work, which means we can still kick some ass!”
  • “Yeah, I’m cuttin’ through history class now!”
  • “I see you do *not* have situation under control!”
  • “There’s a simplicity to war. Attacking is the only secret.”
  • “Haven’t you heard, [name]? They say the war is over.”
  • “My war ends with you.”
  • “All it takes is the will, of a single man.”
  • “The road to the future begins here, my friend.”
  • “Your world as you knew it is gone. How far would you go to bring it back?”
  • “This is what your greed has brought you.”
  • “You will find the will of a single man can be broken.”
John Mulaney Sentence Starters
  • “I was hoping by now that I would look older, but it didn’t happen.”
  • “I always thought that quicksand was gonna be a much bigger problem than it turned out to be.”
  • “I have been here all night. You can feel the TV, it’s warm.”
  • “Why do people do that? People always shush animals. They’ve never spoken.”
  • “Now when people make fun of me, I deserve it.”
  • “I meant to learn about cars, and then I forgot.”
  • “If you’re ever behind me on the highway, I just want you to know that I hear you honking, and I also don’t want me to be doing what I’m going.”
  • “I sure would like to.”
  • “If you’re comparing the badness of two words, and you won’t even say one of them, that’s the worse word.”
  • “You’re gonna have to get used to that.”
  • “I don’t like robots. Thinkin’ o’ things.”
  • “In terms of instant relief, canceling plans is like heroin.”
  • “That guy’s a bozo!”
  • “Hey mister, I found your treasure.”
  • “I think in Heaven they built three quarters of a gay person but forgot to flip the final switch.”
“You want me to do what?”
  • “I don’t drink, which is not what you’re supposed to do when you’re Irish.”
  • “I’m really sorry about last night, it’s just that I’m mean and loud. It probably will happen again.”
  • “Okay, let’s go over there and destroy the place.”
“Everyone was drinking like it was the end of the world.”
  • “I’ve never climbed a fence that high before.”
  • “That wasn’t what I was telling you, but alright. Let’s talk about this entirely new topic.”
  • “Excuse me. I am homeless. I am gay. I have AIDS. I’m new in town.”
  • “You had me at AIDS.”
  • “What are three other things about him?”
  • “I’ll take your advice, friend I’ve never listened to before.”
  • “This might as well happen. Adult life is already so goddamn weird.”
  • “Psh. You’re not gonna faint.”