start-from-here

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“My motivation might seem trivial compared to yours, But I can’t lose, either. I have to live up to the hopes of those who supported me. That declaration of war you gave earlier… I’ll return that. I will beat you, too!

“Acceptance” as a part of emotional healing means “acceptance that this is where you are, and all positive progress will stem from this point in time, you cannot move forward from some imaginary point in the past or future, you can only begin from where you actually are.”

It does not mean “you need to learn to regard the shit situation you were/are in as acceptable.”

That shit that happened/is happening to you?  That is merely the reality of what has happened/is happening.  Your goal is not to say “it’s okay”, to forgive, to say “this situation is fine”.  You NEVER have to say those things if you don’t want to, and you SHOULDN’T say those things if they are not true, it will not make things go any faster.

Your goal is to be able to say “WELP, here’s where we are, in Bullshit City.  I guess we start from here.”

Acceptance is a realistic assessment of where you are and a willingness to begin from there.  It is a recognition that old patterns, whether positive or negative, cannot or do not have to continue.

And it’s not a 100% all-or-nothing thing.  Some days you will be a lot more level than others.  Some days you will be really angry or sad about what happened/what you lost/what is happening.  That’s okay.  But on many and eventually most days you will be a lot more focused on the future, and what you can do.  And believe me, that is SUCH a huge relief.

Soooo, if someone is encouraging you to think of “acceptance” solely as “contentment” or “totally at peace”, they are approaching it wrong, in a very not-helpful way.

If you are struggling, maybe it will help you to see that this important recovery stage is not an insultingly tall hurdle you have to jump with a smile on your face and perfect gracefulness.  

It is merely an end to foundering because you have found your new solid ground.  It will be a quiet, messy thing, and it may sneak up on you, but it will come.  And from there, you can go in many different directions.  New ones.  Ones you never imagined.

If you aren’t there yet, keep going.  Fight and scream and cry if you have to. All that shit is necessary shit!  Do what you gotta do!  Just keep slogging, and try to hold on to the fact that eventually, even if you don’t feel like it, you’ll get there.

The bad stuff will never be “okay”.  But YOU can be.  YOU can be okay.  You WILL be.

Working With Spirits for Beginners

Before starting:

Protection!  Be it sigils or wards or poppet decoys or crystals or any of the like, make sure you have some sort of protection from mal intent.  

Ask yourself, where am I wanting this path to take me?  Are you wanting to have spirit teachers and learn new things? Are you wanting to be a medium?  Are you wanting to gain some friends?  Are you wanting to connect to different cultures and histories?  These kinds of questions will help you decide where to start and where to go from there!

Finding spirits:

One thing that you can research is having a spirit companion!  There are several blogs that I can’t think of off the top of my head that do personal conjurings, and other basically adoption centers!  If you do that, I would look for more beginner type spirits or just the ones that call out to you!  

If you don’t want a companion and are looking for something a little less permanent, I would look around you for something familiar.  Plants around you, your local cemetery, your favorite hike, seashells, crystals, bones, or any of that that you may have.  Most things have some spirit attached to them, including man-made objects, although those tend to be small colonies speaking through a representative (I can make a post on this later if you want).  

Starting Points:

There are two main starting points from here.  Sensing the spirits, and communication.  You can decide to focus on one, or even both!  I recommend starting with one at a time tho.

Sensing:

start reaching out, trying to find something.  It’s different for everyone, and it’s not something that you can feel and say, this is it.  You have to learn to trust yourself.  And even if you don’t, fake it ‘til you make it!  For me, feeling a spirit’s presence is subtle, but for others, it can be a really jarring experience.

Communication:

You can use tarot, telepathy, pendulum, ouija boards, oracle, images, runes, or anything similar!   If using telepathy, ask yourself the question, ‘was that reply me talking?’ and if your answer is immediately yes, then it was you.  But if you have a moment of doubt, believe that it was your spirit!


If you have any questions, feel free to ask me!  I’ll do my best to answer.

Boku, Ore, Watashi

Okay, I have to throw in my two cents in regards to the Mutsuki’s Pronouns ordeal. Let’s start here:

From what I understand, he used both the hypermasculine ore and typically-feminine watashi this chapter. This caused some confusion, as MS took the watashi bit and translated all pronouns surrounding Mutsuki to “she”.

In my opinion, this isn’t really appropriate, since Mutsuki has explicitly stated that he wanted to live as a man, and never the other way around. On top of that, the people closest to him have always referred to him as “he”, to his apparent approval. Until he says “I want to live as a woman”, this should remain. As a rule of thumb, it’s socially correct and just downright polite to refer to someone as the pronouns they say they are.


Now, let’s look at Kaneki and Mutsuki in relation to one another. They are a true example of two people who’s lives parallel. They both grew up in abusive households, both underwent unspeakable torture, and both found themselves living under the care of the CCG. The two of them have the white hair and eyepatch to make that abundantly clear.

So. Remember this part? In english, Kaneki is saying “I? I? I? Me?” etc. It translated that way okay because it sounded like he was stumbling over his words while his brain was doing somersaults. But in japanese, he’s actually saying “Watashi? Ore? Boku? Boku, boku–” because at the time he was struggling for control over his body.

  • Rize used Watashi
  • Yamori used Ore
  • Kaneki uses Boku

Rize trapped him into this lifestyle and Yamori enforced it. To Kaneki, he felt like his life belonged to them now, and the “real” him had lost control. He knew that the violence was wrong, but needed “their” strength to protect himself and the people he loved.

Mutsuki is also struggling with who is controlling his body.

This is KEY to the polar shifts in his personality, and how he goes from a gentle doll to a rampaging killer in seconds. He disassociates and blacks out when he goes into these fits, and can’t remember what happened when he comes-to. 

denial, then warping walls as he comes back to himself

Here’s the thing: when Mutsuki refers to himself as a woman, or uses feminine pronouns, he’s seeing himself as the weak person who was abused by his father; the person who slaughtered his entire family. He is disgusted by that– by himself– and equates womanhood (incorrectly) to this awful, despicable, abhorrent thing from his own experience as a woman.

  • He was abused by his father as a woman (weak). 
  • He murdered his family as a woman (violent). 
  • He was leered at in the club as a woman (vulnerable).
  • He was dressed like a woman when he stumbled into that corner of the auction and ate someone out of desperation (barbaric).
  • He was treated like a woman when he tore Torso limb from limb and was forcibly reminded of what he had done in his past (grotesque). 

…and now resorting to violence is how his mind protects itself from more internal damage, unaware to itself that it’s trapping him in an downward spiral. Every time he’s put into a place of discomfort, he’s rocketed into an unhinged frenzy that he knows in the confines of his mind is wrong, wrong, wrong, but he can’t stop it. He’s triggered into lashing out at Touka when he’s jealous to avoid feeling (like a) vulnerable (woman) again, but in reality it’s doing him much more damage.

Unfortunately, Mutsuki hasn’t been able to catch a break or find some level of stability since his capture on Rue, and the “grotesque” parts of his self have now consumed him almost completely.

That, essentially, is why he’s using ore and watashi (and boku in the beginning, when he was stable). Like Kaneki with Rize and Yamori, Mutsuki is trying to have some kind of control over the “self” that has taken control of his body.

[Translation Update] FAIRY TAIL - DRAGON CRY -

Hiro Mashima’s coordination produce!!

“Movie version FAIRY TAIL -DRAGON CRY-” FAST BREAKING NEWS!!

Mashima-sensei drew a total of 200 pages for the movie version of the original name (Fairy Tail)…… It all started from here!! For the FT series 10th Anniversary Project, we will release the latest information quickly for the manga readers every week about the movie animation’s final result!!

BREAKING NEWS 01: This Spring, May 6th (Saturday) Opening!!
BREAKING NEWS 02: Mashima-sensei’s Key Visual Drawing completed!!

“That power, hope or destruction?”
Natsu’s half body is a dragon…… Those eyes, what is he feeling that dwells in that fist?! Look forward to the next report!!

BREAKING NEWS 03: Latest character settings is out!!
BREAKING NEWS 04: New characters of the movie version revealed!! (Sonia, Zash & Animus)

The rough painting drawn by Mashima (Nalu one), that scene will drive a lot of imagination!! The cast and staff that are earnestly making the movie version!!

T/N: I hope you enjoy this translation update about the 2nd movie >w<

Always Has Been

Alo! Psh, so, CORAN AND LANCE BONDING MOMENT BC YES. This is like the fourth chapter of Don’t Put Out the Glow fic I have in my Ao3, but yeah! You can read it separetly. 

The main point here is that Lance is beated up as hell (that happens in chapter 1) and he’s bed resting and the team takes turn to watch over him and take care of him and this time it was Coran’s turn!! 

So, link to read from the start is here: http://archiveofourown.org/works/9630371/chapters/21758132

But like I said, *shrugs* you don’t have to, just know that Lance is emotional and beated up bc of their last mission. 

Ps. I have the hc that Alteans’s language was …well greek bc I’m not creative enough to come up with cute nicknames in alien language SO GREEK: 

kardiá liontarioú (greek) means lion heart.
mikró ílio (also greek) means little sun.

Disclaimer: Voltron doesn’t belong to me. 


“And there I was: Alone with only my flubber and my tutter with at least fifty hundred Deditions. It was hopeless for any Altean…except for me! I stared at the eye of Death smugly and attacked without mercy. Victory was so close I could taste it, quite literal because one of the Deditions fell into my mouth, I might add. Time became slow and it was as I was in a hurricane and there was no escape but do you know what I did,  my boy?”

“What did you do, Coran?” Lance asks quietly, smiling softly at the Altean as he takes a sip from his cup.

“I beat every single one of those Deditions! It was the most satisfying victory of all, my boy!”

The brunet giggles under his breath. “But, Coran, aren’t Deditions like small puppies?”

“My boy! Their piles of cuddles and big shiny eyes could kill an entire army! No one is able to resist their cuteness!”

“Except you.”

“You can survive any outside cuteness when you see this face every day, my boy.” Coran says proudly as he points at his own face and he grins when the brunet laughs gleefully.

“Can’t argue with that logic.”

Coran smiles as he watches Lance chuckle softly. The brunet still has a big bump on his right side of his head, the corner of his lower lip is covered in dried blood and his eye is not as swollen as before but still sensitive and red.

Lance still looks bad but the bright smile on his face tunes out every visible injury and Coran can’t be more grateful with the universe for allowing him to see that smile.

“You know,” He starts after a few minutes in silence, voice gentle and longing, his eyes still looking at Lance fondly, “You remind me of my son.”

Lance’s laughter stops abruptly and then turns his head towards Coran, mouth wide open in surprise and then he’s frowning concern.

“Coran –” He starts, voice small and hesitant but Coran cuts him off by standing from the chair and walking towards the brunet, taking seat on the corner of the bed besides Lance.

“He was a good lad. He had his mother’s hair and eyes but besides that he was a mini me.” Coran chuckles, crossing his right leg across his left one and dropping his elbow on it, resting his chin against his open palm, “His mother used to say that we should have named him Coran Jr; saying that it fitted him better with his wild personality and loud upbeat voice.”

Lance licks his lips nervously and then speaks in small voice, “What was his name?”

“Lyon.” Coran replies calmly, “His name was Lyon.”

Keep reading

“A Tale of Two Rulers” Archive Post

You can find the links to the indivual pages of my Zelda fancomic, (A Tale of Two Rulers), right here! (New comic out every Monday)

・1・ ・2・ ・3・ ・4・ ・5・ ・6・ ・ 7 ・ ・8・ ・9・ ・10・ ・11・ ・12・ ・13・ ・14・ ・15・ ・16・ ・17・ ・18・ ・19・ ・20・ ・21・ ・22・ ・23・ ・24・ ・25・ ・26・ ・27・ ・28・ ・29・ ・30・ ・31・ ・32・ ・33・ ・34・ ・35・ ・36・ ・37・ ・38・ ・39・ ・40・ ・41・ ・42・ ・43・ ・44・ ・45・ ・46・ ・47・ ・48・ ・49・ ・50・ ・51・ ・52・ ・53・ ・54・ ・55・ ・56・ ・57・ ・58・ ・59・ ・60・ ・61・ ・62・ ・63・ ・64・ ・65・ ・66・ ・67・ ・68・ ・69・ ・70・ ・71・ ・72・ ・73・ ・74・ ・75・ ・76・ ・77・ ・78・ ・79・ ・80・ ・81・ ・82・ ・83・ ・84・ ・85・ ・86・ ・87・ ・88・ ・89・ ・90・ ・91・・92・ ・93・ ・94・ ・95・ ・96・ ・97・ ・98・ ・99・ ・100・ ・101・ ・102・ ・103・ ・104・ ・105・ ・106・ ・107・ ・108・ ・109・ ・110・

OR read ‘A Tale of Two Rulers’ from the start right HERE! all on one continuous page! (if you’re using a web browser)

fic: Yin and Yang

title: yin and yang

genre: fluff/tiniest bit of angst if you squint

warnings: swearing | word count: 1500

description: a sunset beach walk after phil’s thirtieth birthday brings talk of things to come and decisions they figure they need to discuss. plus there’s this metaphor about the sunset.

yin and yang; light and dark, day and night - two opposites that are made to be together.

“I think you’d be a sunrise,” Phil says.

Dan quirks an eyebrow and prompts him to elaborate. “I’m all gloom and darkness, I’m definitely a three am sky.”

Phil frowns. “Maybe, but you’d be scattered with stars. And you’d be five in the morning, not three, the sun would be just about ready to rise. There is some light in you, Dan.”

Keep reading

lgbt+ (ya/mg) books read in 2016!

so a lot of people still reblog my “60+ queer books” post from 2014. ngl, i was barely 16 at the time and had not read a lot of books on that list (it was def intended to be more a listing than pure recommendation), mostly because adult fiction was and remains far from my favorite literary category. this list isn’t as intensely detailed, but i just thought that since the year is over i might jot down some of the lgbt+ books i loved or at least moderately enjoyed this year, in case anyone was interested! happy reading!

(and in advance, excuse my commentary o<-<)

ya favorites

  • i’ll give you the sun by jandy nelson — m/m. HEART-WRENCHING. GUTTING. EARTH-SHATTERING. 
  • we are the ants by shaun david hutchinson m/m (suicide cw) 
  • my most excellent year by steve kugler m/m. gay asam main character and the best character dynamics ❤️____❤️
  • the flywheel by erin gough f/f
  • gives light (6-part series) by rose christo — m/m. centered around a mute main character on an indian reservation (written by a native author!), features one of the most uplifting romances of recent media (cw for csa mention later in the series)

other ya books 
ordered approximately by rating

  • far from you by tess sharpe — f/f. bisexual protagonist (drug addiction, murder cw) a book on recovery, love, trust, justice, understanding… gut punch!!!!!
  • into the blue by pene henson — m/m
  • not your sidekick by c.b. lee — f/f. DOES THE TITLE NOT MAKE UR HEART SQUEEZE ALREADY? features half-chinese & half-vietnamese bisexual protagonist in futuristic superheroic universe! the second book will be about a trans black side character *___*
  • starting from here by lisa jenn bigelow — f/f. you will cry and be made a better person for it. 
  • almost like being in love by steve kugler — m/m
  • tell me again how a crush should feel by sara farizan— f/f. sometimes this book is like :|||| but sometimes it’s like :DDDD! persian american protagonist. 
  • the darkest part of the forest by holly black — both m/f and m/m (like i’ll give you the sun). for your slightly more indulgent ya needs!
  • you know me well by nina lacour, david levithan — f/f, m/m
  • the great american whatever by tim federle — m/m. if you enjoy mg or find its lgbt+ subsection especially important (or both, like me!), definitely make sure you check out federle’s better nate than ever series!
  • last seen leaving by caleb roehrig — m/m
  • wonders of the invisible world by christopher barzak — m/m. magical realism fix may be found here 👍
  • true letters from a fictional life by kenneth logan — m/m. tbh people call it the “male version of ‘to all the boys i’ve loved before’” but also neglect mentioning that it’s a lot whiter, too. where’s that supportive covey family goodness… that precocious but caring lara jean spirit? it’s just not there…
  • colorblind by siera maley — f/f
  • her name in the sky by kelly quindlen — f/f
  • radio silence by alice oseman — f/f, m/m, not hugely romance-focused

middle grade
there were very few releases this year that i was aware of, unfortunately! my old list’s selection remains a good place to look. here are 3 that i would recommend though:

(i think i might have read george in 2015, but i felt that i might as well put them all together!)

  • george by alex gino — follows the story of a trans girl. its storyline is similar to gracefully grayson, but unlike gg it is written by a trans author!
  • the other boy by m.g. hennessey — follows the story of a trans boy. pretty solid story except… uncalled for random racist comment in the middle of the book… wyd (waiting for the mg genre to grow more inclusive of lgbt+ children of color! not being racially hostile is the FIRST STEP.)
  • gracefully grayson by ami polansky 

+ A GRAPHIC NOVEL MOST OF U HAVE PROBABLY READ ALREADY: LUMBERJANES!! love it breathe it read it

if you want some mg books that have casually gay side/main-ish characters, i can name the wolf wilder and the thing about jellyfish, although… you have to kind of dig for it, so i wouldn’t call these revolutionary moments of representation, but! it’s just a nice addition to separate stories that remind you that the middle grade genre can be inclusive w/o becoming entirely issue-based (which i find sometimes more inaccessible for children? i ramble!). i do believe it’s good for young children to read this kind of fiction, too! 

__

finally, some lgbt+ books i did not enjoy or care for in any capacity, for posterity: highly illogical behavior (gross narrative surrounding mental health, sexuality), symptoms of being human (ya book abt a nonbinary character; written by cis author who bscly uses sexual assault as plot device & doesn’t acknowledge neutral pronouns?), know not why (really unapologetically homophobic tbh), whatever.: or how junior year became totally f$@ked, more happy than not (so… bleak…), see you at harry’s, and lily and dunkin (this is the fourth mg book about a trans character that i’m aware of; i found its message hugely alarming and invalidating). that doesn’t mean you won’t enjoy them, though!