“who are you and why have you knitted my cat a sweater” au
february 14 | “proposal” (Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone! Here’s the overview of my favorite AU of the week, plus a bonus tiny excerpt to start you off right. ;D)
Gabriel’s cat hates everyone and everything, except he’s suddenly decided it’s time to move in with their new neighbor, Jack. Gabriel only finds out about this because Reaper comes home wearing the world’s ugliest handmade sweater. Gabriel can’t believe his eyes. Reaper hisses when he tries to take the sweater off.
Gabriel sticks a note to Reaper’s collar that reads, “Who are you and why have you knitted my cat a sweater?” So begins Jack and Gabriel’s correspondence via post-it notes.
Jack’s veteran support group had suggested finding a way to keep his hands busy, so he decided to knit a sweater for the lonely cat that keeps sneaking into his apartment. It must be cold if it keeps curling up in his lap, right? Jack is a dog person so he is completely clueless about cats. He pretty much treats Reaper like a dog but Reaper is a weirdo who loves him anyway.
BONUS: Gabriel’s cat is an accurate predictor of his relationships with other people. So when Gabriel sees Reaper being a total sweetheart and purring as Jack puts Ugly Sweater 2.0 on him, he accidentally blurts, “Holy shit, marry me.”
Gabriel stares down in utter disbelief. His
cat is wearing a sweater. His
cat—Reaper, a feisty little bastard who hates just about everyone and bites
anything that moves—is wearing a sweater.
A hideous, obviously hand-knitted sweater that Gabriel has never even seen before, let alone put on his sweater-hating cat.
twenty years from now my kid will come running into the room crying and screaming and throwing things onto the floor and I’ll stand by all horrified and ask over and over “what happened” and they’ll just look at me with betrayal in their eyes, throw the complete box set of avatar the last airbender at me and whisper, “you liar…zutara wasn’t endgame. HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN, HOW COULD SHE END UP WITH AANG what about all their chemistry” and I’ll get down real slow and hug them and stroke their hair as they sob. And then I’ll say emotionally, “But they’ll always be together…” Pause as I take a deep breath and place my hand over my heart, “in HERE”
Let’s start the week off right with a list of complaints shall we. I have a white hair (well, I have a ton actually but we’ll get back to that) that’s growing out of my forehead so low on my hairline that I was trying to wipe it off because I thought it was from the dog. Like I legitimately thought I had a stray dog hair on my face but no. IT’S GROWING OUT OF MY HEAD. Speaking of the dogs my right knee hurts and is feeling all clicky and weird and I’m not entirely convinced it’s not a chihuahua-related injury because I am always contorted to allow them to use me as dog furniture and I sleep with them and yeah. So my knee is feeling fucked all weekend and it seems worse in the morning hence my sleep theory. I’m going to the gym now anyway and I’m going to feel it out but it sure as hell better not keep my from my meager workout which is the only thing stopping me from entering a state where I can only wear muumuus comfortably. Back to the hair, I feel completely disheveled with it in its natural curly state and I don’t like that. I need to get reacquainted with this look because in the summer there is no way no how I can maintain a blowout for a week’s stretch. That will be a thing of the past. Also I need to cover these pesky grays asap. I have zero tolerance for their presence. Last but not least and unrelated to anything: I need a great, small-ish stick vacuum for hardwood floors. If you are in possession of such a device please give me your recommendations.
@snotweek is the official tumblr for Snot Week 2017!
This event will be held from January 15 through January 21, 2017. Start the year off right – with otasune.
What is Snot Week?
Snot Week is a week dedicated to producing and enjoying fanworks
featuring the pairing Solid Snake/Otacon (otherwise known as: otasune,
snot, solicon, the pairing of many names) from the series Metal Gear
During the week of January 15-21, every day will be dedicated to a
specific prompt, and fan creators are encouraged to use these prompts in
their otasune-themed fanart, fics, mixes, etc.
You can choose to use all of the prompts, only some, or none at all. Any sort of otasune content is welcome!
For rules/questions/etc feel free to check out @snotweek ! We’ll be back with more updates and info as we get closer to the event.
My favorite day of the week is here! I hope everyone has a great day, makes healthy choices and kicks some ass in the gym today👊🏼 Let’s start this week off right together and forget any set backs we had this weekend